These days there are rules for everything and terrible consequences for disobeying them. Find out how easy it is tie yourself in knots with Red Tape . . . 'Your call is important to us,' says the lady on the help-line. The call is important because it is currently making the company 48p per minute.' __________ 'Sam has forgotten her password so she cannot access her e-mail account. She can reset her password using a memorable name, but she has forgotten her memorable name too, so the account locks. Sam automatically receives a link so she can reset her password. It is sent to her e-mail account.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Sicke, The Meeting, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.

1. In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth.

2. And darkness was upon the face of the deep; this was due to a malfunction at Lots Road Power Station.

3. And God said, Let there be light; and there was light, but Eastern Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

4. And God saw the light and it was good; He saw the quarterly bill and it was not good.

There have been many versions of the Old Testament over the centuries but never one quite like this. Spike Milligan has rewritten, in his own inimitable style, many of the best known stories of the Old Testament, featuring characters like King (my brain hurts) Solomon, the great oaf of a giant Goliath and the well-known Telegraph crossword clue, Hushai the Archite. Believers and non-believers alike will enjoy his hilarious re-working, where the jokes, jests and jibes tumble over each other from Chapter One, Verse One until the end.

From an Emmy Award-winning writer, witty and hilarious advice to classic literary characters-from Lady Macbeth to Victor Frankenstein-on how to cope with their most arduous, "real-life" struggles. What would happen if your favorite literary characters wrote in to ask for help from an advice columnist? What suggestions would Hester Prynne need to cope with the judgemental neighbors? What if Mrs. Bennett from Pride and Prejudice asked for tips about managing her financial woes? Emmy Award-winning writer Jay Bushman imaginatively considers those scenarios and dozens more as Aunt Antigone, the "agony aunt" who dishes practical advice, along with a fair dose of snark. Grouped by theme, Novel Advice features our favorite and most beloved literary characters from all genres as they write in to Aunt Antigone for help with their "real-world" problems. Discover what Aunt Antigone has to say when Ophelia and Ishmael ask about their dating woes, when Dr. Jekyll searches for the perfect work/life balance, or when Scarlett O'Hara wants tips about the best way to handle stress. Perfect for fans of Texts from Jane Eyre, Tequila Mockingbird, and booklovers everywhere, this book is a hilarious and thought-provoking look at our favorite literary characters seeking help from an advice column with her own dramatic background.

Lying on a riverbank on a lazy summer's afternoon - 23rd June 2016, to be precise - Alice spots a flustered-looking white rabbit called Dave calling for a referendum. Following him down a rabbit-hole, she emerges into a strange new land, where up is down, black is white, experts are fools and fools are experts... She meets such characters as the Corbynpillar, who sits on a toadstool smoking his hookah and being no help to anyone; Humpty Trumpty, perched on a wall he wants the Mexicans to pay for; the Cheshire Twat, who likes to disappear leaving only his grin, a pint, and the smell of scotch eggs remaining; and the terrifying Queen of Heartlessness, who'll take off your head if you dare question her plan for Brexit. Will Alice ever be able to find anyone who speaks sense?