The Instant New York Times Bestseller From "Family Guy" to his own Instagram account, Janetti has been behind some of his generation's greatest comedy. This book of essays is no exception. -- The New York Times Fans of David Sedaris, Jenny Lawson, and Tina Fey... meet your new friend Gary Janetti. Gary Janetti, the writer and producer for some of the most popular television comedies of all time, and creator of one of the most wickedly funny Instagram accounts there is, now turns his skills to the page in a hilarious, and poignant book chronicling the pains and indignities of everyday life. Gary spends his twenties in New York, dreaming of starring on soap operas while in reality working at a hotel where he lusts after an unattainable colleague and battles a bellman who despises it when people actually use a bell to call him. He chronicles the torture of finding a job before the internet when you had to talk on the phone all the time, and fantasizes, as we all do, about who to tell off when he finally wins an Oscar. As Gary himself says, "These are essays from my childhood and young adulthood about things that still annoy me." Original, brazen, and laugh out loud funny, Do You Mind If I Cancel? is something not to be missed.

Struggling to realize your full procrastination potential? Finally, a primer for procrastinators has arrived. Not Now is an illustrated instruction manual that teaches novice and advanced procrastinators how to dally, dawdle, and lollygag their way to expert-level procrastination. Starting with simple exercises, such as "sit" and "pace," instructions gradually advance in complexity and futility---"learn how to write in your non-dominant hand," "color coordinate your bookshelves to look like a Pantone color guide"-and eventually reach master level: "learn a new language by correspondence course, pack your bags, and move to another country."

Hurt me!' she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over the workbench. 'Very well,' I replied, 'You've got fat ankles and no dress sense.' Colin Grey's life was happy and simple until the day everything changed - the day his wife read THAT book. Suddenly, he was thrust head-first into a dark, illicit world of pleasure and pain. Fifty Shed of Grey is the story of one man's struggle against a tide of tempestuous, erotic desire and of the greatest love of all: the love between a man and his shed. WARNING: This book contains graphic shed-based images. Please don't look if you are easily offended. Follow the phenomenon @50ShedsofGrey

Sir Charles Chatterton M.P. can arguably claim to be the only parliamentarian who has emerged from the events of recent years with any credit. With the loyal support of his secretary and confidante Catherine, and his formidable wife, Lady Veronica, he has fought valiantly to maintain the spirits of his constituents in Greater Tittleham. As a junior minister, Sir Charles has been able to observe at first hand the fateful decision making that has mired the country in debt and division. Other players, such as the crisis actor Erasmus Demosthenes Hepplewhite, and Covid Marshal (Grade 2) Ivan Dennison, also recount their experiences of these tumultuous years.

Are you stressed out, overbooked, and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? It's time to stop giving a f*ck with this write-in journal. This brilliant, hilarious, and practical journal explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt, and give your f*cks instead to people and things that make you happy. The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about family drama, having a "bikini body," coworkers' annoying opinions, pets, and children, and tons of other bullsh*t. This write-in journal has plenty of space to record the things you want to give a f*ck about, guided exercises for freeing yourself of unwanted obligations, and lots of charts, graphs, and straight-talking advice to help you save your time, money, and energy for the things that really matter. The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck Journal is your invitation to stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today!

The Mr. Men have been tickling children for generations with their funny and charming antics. The Mr Men for Grown-Ups series now gives adults the chance to laugh along as the Mr Men and Little Miss try to cope with the very grown-up world around them. Featuring Roger Hargreaves classic artwork alongside hilariously funny new text. Mr Happy is usually a very happy fellow. But the morning after the office party, he doesn't feel so happy. In fact, he loses his smile. It couldn't be that bad, could it? The perfect book for anyone who has ever been to a work party and lived to tell the tale. Also available in The Mr Men for Grown-Ups series: Little Miss Shy Goes Online Dating, Mr Greedy Eats Clean to Get Lean and Little Miss Busy Surviving Motherhood, Mr Grumpy Nails Fatherhood and Little Miss Lucky is Getting Married.

The Underachiever's Manifesto is the playfully persuasive pocket guide to living life to the least and loving it. This isn't your average handbook-this is a funny self-help book for our ongoing modern age of overachievement. The book makes the case for just the right amount of effort-a lot less than we've been led to believe-and reveals how mediocrity is the key to happiness at work, in relationships, dieting, exercise, investment, and more. * Contains easy-to-follow advice with gentle humor and genuine wisdom * Addresses issues such as social media stress, FOMO, and the life-draining tragedy of tidying up * Author Ray Bennett is a medical specialist in Seattle and a recovering overachiever This welcome new edition-revised just enough but not going overboard-brings its needed-now-more-than-ever perspective to our new era of fitness tracking, app overload, and tidying up. Turn it down a notch. Don't you feel better already? * Humorous but actually helpful-a rarity for self-help books * Perfect for overachievers, underachievers, anyone looking for a funny, friendly way to take things down a notch * Great for those who loved The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson, Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life by Gary John Bishop, and How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism by Stephen Guise

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Uncle Quentin what a jolly good chap he is. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they celebrate Father's Day by taking Uncle Quentin to the local garden centre to chose a new garden shed in which to conduct his experiments. But what promised to be a relaxed outing turns into a nightmare when Quentin disappears into thin air. He surely cannot have gone far . . .

A laugh-out-loud account of working in media! Public relations' snarkiest publicist Jeremy Murphy expertly chronicles his hatred, love, indifference, amusement, and scorn for the profession in F*ck Off, Chloe!. From entitled millennials to surly reporters, obnoxious clients, and cumbersome, color-coded "trackers," Murphy takes a scalpel and glass of Chateauneuf-du-Pape to the PR industry in a searing, hilarious, and pissy voice that his own psychiatrist finds "deeply concerning." His collection of annoyances shed light on the industry's idiosyncrasies, insanities, contradictions, and past due invoices, providing an illuminating window into the dirty world of public relations not even Xanax can help. Complementing the scathing prose are color-in illustrations by artist Darren Greenblatt, creator of the "Ugly Lives of Beautiful People" sketch series.

The rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb� told in the style—and substance—of the great English poets from Edmund Spenser to Stevie Smith.   In The Lamb Cycle, David R. Ewbank achieves the unthinkable—he writes so convincingly in the style of the great English poets that one could be lulled into thinking that Shakespeare himself was inspired to muse upon the subject of “Mary Had a Little Lamb.� Ewbank captures not only the style of each of the poets he chooses, but also their preoccupations and subject matter. So D.H. Lawrence’s Mary longs for her lamb as any woman longing for her lover, whilst T.S. Eliot’s Mary is recollected by an old man looking back on his life. Alexander Pope writes an “An Essay on Lambs,� and Tennyson’s lotus eaters become “The Clover Eater.� Brilliantly written, sophisticated, and laugh-out-loud funny, these poems, enhanced by Kate Feiffer’s charming illustrations, will enchant anyone who has ever read an English poem.  

Jerm Warfare represents the sharpest, most vicious, most outrageous, wittiest cartoons by Jerm, including those that got him fired for being ‘too political’.

With revealing notes on the history of some cartoons, this is more than a book of fierce and funny pictures.

In addition to the political cartoons, Jerm Warfare also features some of Jerm’s sindicated strip cartoon The Biggish Five and other occasional silly delights from one of the most original public commentators at work in South Africa today.

'Funny, despite bloody everything' - Charlie Brooker An indispensable handbook to see the nation through lockdown, breakdown and meltdown. As Britain enters a period of tremendous upheaval, your government has requested that everyone immediately undertake a series of life-style changes that may test the nation's resolve. Most of it is simple common-sense, but common-sense may be new to you, especially if you are young, wistful or an imbecile. Indeed, it should be noted that much of what is to come in the weeks and months (and months) ahead will be new to us all. But let us remember that, not so long ago, the same was true of pesto. We must not lose heart. With stoicism, courage and a substantial supply of alcoholic fortification, we will pull through this together and emerge from it a stronger (or weaker but more experienced) nation. Sir Clement Apricot-Wilson, Permanent Secretary The Department of Unforeseen Circumstances

Captain's log: We have entered a galaxy where beloved illustrator Jenny Parks has conjured an astonishingly vivid homage to the original Star Trek series with an unexpected twist: a cast of cats. Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes - from Kirk in the Captain's chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom - this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats.

In Nothing Is Wrong and Here Is Why, acclaimed The Washington Post satirist Alexandra Petri offers perfectly logical, reassuring reasons for everything that has happened in recent American politics and culture that will in no way unsettle your world view. In essays both new and adapted from her viral columns, Petri reports that the Trump administration is as competent as it is uncorrupted, white supremacy has never been less rampant and men have been silenced for too long. Q-Anon makes perfect sense! At the centre of the book is a virtuosic account of the past four years, a history as surreal and deranged as the Trump administration itself. This Panglossian venture into the swampy present will soothe- and terrify readers.

A message from the Captain: 'On behalf of myself and the entire Ayoade team, welcome to Ayoade on Top. At last, the definitive book about perhaps the best cabin-crew dramedy ever filmed: View from the Top, starring Gwyneth Paltrow.' Buckle up for the flight of your life. 'The most profoundly silly book on film I've ever read and somehow one of the most insightful too.' Edgar Wright 'A brilliant satire of film, academia, commerce and Richard Ayoade . . . The funniest book I've ever read.' Jesse Eisenberg 'I haven't laughed this much reading a book in a long time. The man is a national treasure.' Big Issue

In it, readers will discover dozens of colourful scrapbook pages that may have been crafted by Trump, himself, highlighting his most impressive attributes and amazing accomplishments, while also targeting his most hated enemies, including the dimwit Democrats who want our country to fail, the fake media, liberal Hollywood hacks, weepy and annoying gold star families, touchy and overly sensitive feminazis, everyone involved with the plan to eradicate Christmas, needy immigrants, lazy Puerto Ricans, and many others - more than we can count, honestly. It's nothing less than a history of hubris and hate. Packed from page to page with clear evidence of ego-fueled, adolescent impulses gone wild, this scrapbook parody perfectly showcases exactly how off the rails our commander-in-chief really is.

Laugh till you cry in this new collection of stories from the award-winning "Serena Williams of humor writing" (New York Times Book Review) about raising babies and trying not to be one. Called a "comedic Godsend" by Conan O'Brien and "the Stephen King of comedy writing" by John Mulaney, Simon Rich is back with New Teeth, his funniest and most personal collection yet. Two murderous pirates find a child stowaway on board and attempt to balance pillaging with co-parenting. A woman raised by wolves prepares for her parents' annual Thanksgiving visit. An aging mutant superhero is forced to learn humility when the mayor kicks him upstairs to a desk job. And in the hard-boiled caper "The Big Nap," a weary two-year-old detective struggles to make sense of "a world gone mad." Equal parts silly and sincere, New Teeth is an ode to growing up, growing older, and what it means to make a family.

First published in 1941, No Bed for Bacon is a comic classic. Out of print since 1985, but much-discussed in the press following the release of the Oscar-showered film Shakespeare in Love, the novel fizzes with wit, warmth and the occasional custard pie. It is a festive celebration of 'The Great Bard' par excellence. Five o'clock and all's well in Merrie England. But not for long. Good Queen Bess is stirring in her four-poster and is feeling neither happy nor glorious. Down at the Globe, Will Shakespeare is chewing the end of his quill: something's amiss with Love's Labours Wunne. And Walter Raleigh, boiling his new potato in the depths of the regal kitchens, is getting very hot under the collar of his latest cloak - will his spud achieve the perfect fluffiness for The Royal Tasting? Heads are sure to roll before the day is out.

This is the story of a brave young girl, Elodie-Rose, who one day decides to change the world and keep all her fucks in her basket. Wait a minute. You're confused. What are fucks, you ask? It's quite simple, really. Fucks are her self-esteem; all the happy, sad and wonderful thoughts that sit in her basket. That sit in every girl's basket! And every girl must give these fucks away every time someone asks. One day Elodie-Rose decides to break rank and find out what happens if those fucks stay where they are...

Offers a celebration of red hair, people with red hair and things connected with red hair.