THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who likes a glass of red. And a double gin. And a vodka shot. And a flaming tequila. And a candy floss caipirinha . . . and a small Bahama Mama. __________________________________ 'A good hangover should be a total mystery to you. How did this happen? Why do you feel so ill? Pretend to yourself that you drank less than you did. Insist you stuck to beer, forgetting the champagne at the start of the evening and the round of jalapeno tequilas you did for a bet in that club next to the dual carriageway at 2am.' __________________________________ 'What a confusing world it can seem with a hangover. Sit as still as you can. Do not attempt to make any decisions. Look out of the window. Can you recognise simple shapes or colours? Is there a moon or a sun in the sky? What sort of a name might you have? Where might there be bacon?' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

Meet Oldguy: your regular aging superhero whose powers have dwindled over the years, and whose very mechanics are seriously fizzling. In seriocomic misadventures, Oldguy valiantly attempts to continue his former heroism in a somewhat wry version of Faulknerian endurance, defeating his enemies time and again-if not through superhuman abilities, then at least by "outliving the sons-a-bitches." With its comic book-style illustrations, Oldguy inhabits a space all to itself-not strictly a poetry collection, not quite a graphic novel-hybrid sure to visually and aurally delight.

THE PERFECT GIFT for people who value friendship, uncompromising love, dribble, chewed up furniture and miles and miles of walking to go to the toilet. __________________________________ 'The dog is often called a man's best friend. Dogs are reliable, loyal and loving, like all best friends. They also smell like a bobble hat full of corned beef that has been left on a parcel shelf of a locked car for a fortnight during a hot spell. But there are some things you don't mention to a best friend.' __________________________________ 'Once a week, Patsy vacuums up all the dog hair in her house. When she has finished the sofa she will do the carpets, inside the oven, in the powder tray of the washing machine, between the pages of the book she is reading, and behind the wallpaper. 'How did it get there?' laughs Patsy while coughing up a hair-ball.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

The essential guide for those looking to reinvent themselves starting next week, next month or next year . . . Stella spent GBP190 on make-up designed to achieve that 'no make-up ' look. She had a promo code for the website, so has saved herself GBP10 on looking as though she has spent nothing. __________ Duncan has spent the last two years since separating from his ex-wife working out. He tweets a selfie from the gym every day, with a message like 'Swole AF #ripped'. He has nine Twitter followers. Even the corporate account for Holland and Barratt has unfollowed him. __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Red Tape, The Meeting, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.

This easy-to-follow-through guide lifts the lid on toilet marks and unlocks the secret of your secretions. A divination guide for bowel-on-bowl action, this book will develop your innate intuition skills and reveal the mysteries of symbolics. But this is not just symbolics; this is some really deep shit. Sifting through the crap to the find the sweetcorn of truth, this is an illustrated guide to the meaning of that which comes from our souls. Say it loud. Our souls. Our souls. Our souls. Crap Divination is the turd-teller's Tarot, the butt-bean favomancer's friend, the smelly-pebble pessomancer's pamphlet and is your guide to the dark art of reading dark marks. "It's a load of shite if you ask me. Not the book. The book's alright." S. Mears "I once did two turds and one spooned the other. What does this mean?" [review does not meet the criteria for verification. Send it on to Clive in Accounts though as I'm sure he did a spooner once] About the author: Dingleberry Marx knows he's shit. He also knows his shit.

A fascinating and hilarious gallop through twentieth-century British history, by comedian Al Murray. An awful lot has happened in the last 100 years or so. In fact, when you look at how much went on in the 20th century, it's amazing it didn't take longer than that. And what have we learnt? A few obvious lessons include: megalomaniac men with moustaches in charge of countries tend to turn out to be BAD; anyone who thinks they can explain let alone sort out the Middle East is WRONG; France simply cannot be relied upon; America may or may not be the cause of everything GOOD and BAD in the world (depending on who you ask). This isn't your bog-standard history book. We all know that history books (Which Shall Not be Questioned because they ARE ALL TRUE according to our History Teachers of Yore) are dry and dull, and they go on as if there's only ONE version of history (spoiler: it's all about perspective). Enter Al Murray, alter-ego of everyone's favourite Pub Landlord. Al knows his way around 20th century Britain, and he's good enough to illuminate it for you. From the Big Bang of the 20th Century, DOUBLEYOUDOUBLEYOU ONE, to the eve of the new Millennium (when all the computers in the World DIDN'T stop working and the Queen had to do the Hokey Cokey with Tony Blair) and all the forgotten tales in between, this is a brilliantly funny, irreverent and eye-opening whistle-stop tour of Britain since 1914.

The handy guide to the HUSBAND makes the PERFECT GIFT for any long-suffering wife or prospective bride to give to their beloved husband. ____________________ 'The wife likes to read romantic fiction. The books are a fantasy and an escape for her. The husband does not waste his time on silly stories. He likes to read books about things that really happened and tales of real men. Reading these will be invaluable if he ever has to land on the moon or be in the S.A.S. or help manage the England football team.' ____________________ 'The husband likes to do simple repairs, like changing the washer on a tap. Afterwards he likes to talk at great length about what a struggle it was, and will want to be treated as if he has invented a machine that turns farts into gold.' ____________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

'So funny, and so wise. Just like the man himself' Richard Osman 'I inhaled it. HILARIOUS. So sharp - it really made me laugh' Katherine Ryan ''Morally bankrupt . . . Not a book to be seen on your shelves during a Zoom call' Jo Brand Jack Dee is here to help. Too often today the emphasis in psychotherapy is on providing clients with a metaphorical hug when what they so clearly need is good slap, so Jack Dee took the matter into his own hands and whilst everyone else was baking bread and clearing out their cupboards during lockdown, he retrained online as a psychotherapist. After an incredibly gruelling four hours of study, he got his certificate of completion from The Ruislip College of Advansed Learning (sic). So, with his training in hand, he's been expertly helping people with their problems ever since. What is Your Problem? is a compilation of readers' varied problems, be they about relationships, finances, nosey neighbours, coping with Christmas, teenagers or Mike from the accounts department, and Jack's very unique and very professional advice. What is Your Problem? is a book to turn to when life has taken a downward turn, or you just need a very good laugh.

Fanfiction has always been there, lurking in the darkest corners of the internet. Two years ago, Amy Stephenson and Casey Childers found a way to drag it into the harsh fluorescent light of the Booksmith at Shipwreck: A monthly literary fanfiction competition. Now, Shipwreck has collected the most outrageous, perverted, brilliant wrecks based on 17 original works, from The Great Gatsby to The Hunger Games. LOOSE LIPS will contain cheeky illustrations, unintentionally suggestive quotes from the original source material, asides from the creators and the full text of the best submissions they've received. Writers include John Scalzi, Mara Wilson, Kate Leth, Night Vale writers Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor, Kelly Link, Holly Black, Naomi Novik, Seanan McGuire, Heather Donahue, Andrew Sean Greer and illustrations by Madeline Gobbo. It's a loving look at all of our favorite books with feminism and female sexuality, queer identity and diversity at the forefront.

Learn all about the different kinds of meetings - brainstorms, catch-ups, face-to-face, virtual, unattended - and how to avoid them completely . . . 'People at work spend a lot of the day in meetings. Meetings are important because they give everyone a chance to talk about work. Which is easier than doing it.' __________ 'Rudd attends meetings remotely from his home office. He has three telephones, two Swiss desk intercoms, a fax machine and a wall-mounted theremin. Sometimes nobody speaks to him for days.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The People Next Door, The Sickie, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.

Stuck at home? Annoyed by your neighbours? Then let this helpful guide tell you all about The People Next Door . . . 'Logan is reporting his next-door neighbour to the police again. This time, it's for using a hairdryer before 8am. Last time, it was for trespass by blossom. 'You again,' says the duty sergeant, and gets the forms. __________ 'Rachel and Robert's neighbour Mrs Vavasour has complained to the council about their hedge, their cat and the colour of their front door. The morning after Rachel left her hair straighteners plugged in, Mrs Vavasour complains to the council that she was kept awake by a bright, flickering orange light and the sound of exploding wood.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Shed, The Zombie Apocalypse, The Meeting, and more.

'The iceberg always blinks at the last minute.' - @BorderIrish 'I was living the quiet life, watching the traffic and the sheep go by and then Brexit came along and I listened to people dismissing my importance. I could see the danger coming in the distance, like a cold front on the Tyrone skyline. So I thought, how can an invisible border be heard?' 97 years young, the Irish Border may be a late adopter of Twitter, but with more than 82k followers including Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, Piers Morgan and Alastair Campbell, the Border isn't so invisible anymore.

*The perfect stocking filler for the cat lover in your life!*

Please Stop Touching Me
Every time you do
I have to lick everywhere
It's so exhausting

From the author of What I Lick Before Your Face comes this hilarious companion, Please Stop Touching Me ... and Other Haikus by Cats.

Jamie Coleman returns with this brilliant collection of feline flights of fancy. His hilarious haikus take us inside the minds of our most popular pets revealing their inner-most secrets, their disdain for their owners and the poetry that is common to all cats.

Featuring over 50 haikus complete with glorious images, this is a hysterical gift for cat lovers, cat haters, and poetry enthusiasts alike.

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, can George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy survive the ultimate test of their friendship: Brexit? It is the night of the referendum and the Five have retired to Kirrin Island to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, fed up with the rancour of public debate. George is firmly a 'remainer,' whilst Julian, who is in the 'Brexit' camp, is tolerated on the grounds that Anne cannot bear to go camping without him. (Timmy, largely apolitical but not keen on cats or rabbits, joins them too.) The night is tempestuous in more ways than one. George has managed to rig up a satellite link with the mainland so they can keep abreast of the news, and they sit huddled around the fire, amidst some tension, as George's initial hope that the 'remainers' will triumph proves premature... Meanwhile, a violent storm whips up. The damage is apparent as the new day dawns and George declares a new meaning for Brexit: Kirrin Island is exiting Britain...that is, until the red tape becomes too much of a challenge and their happy life together is under threat. Perfect for anyone sick of hearing that 'Brexit means Brexit', or for that relative you're still not talking to because of how they voted...