From marital bliss to man flu, husbands are jolly good fellows, and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions capture everything to love about marriage. The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards. Perfect as a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Father's Day gift for long-suffering husbands everywhere. Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Dad, The Wit and Wisdom of Mum and The Wit and Wisdom of the Wife.

'Funny, touching and ludicrously British.' India Knight 'Makes Christmas slightly less awful' Al Murray A Very British Christmas is a twelve-stage sleigh ride through the best, worst, strangest and funniest aspects of the Christmas holiday, with cultural icons saluted, national habits dissected and personal reminiscences from those who've eaten all the mince pies and lived to tell the tale. The essential Christmas stocking filler for every Brit who's ever found themselves on a deflating air bed in their parents' spare room wedged up against the washing machine come Christmas Eve and wondering why this Christmas, just like every year, doesn't look like the ones on the telly.

Sleep smarter 'The indispensable bedside classic' Leland Carlson, Assistant Vice President of the Dull Men's Club This Book Will Send You to Sleep makes no claims to be fun or interesting. It is a book you can read in full confidence that you will find absolutely nothing to stimulate your brain. A book, like any other, that will afford you much sleep and copious amounts of pointless knowledge. Where else will you read about the political crisis in Belgium 2007-2011 or the recent developments in the taxonomy of molluscs? And where else can you find, in one place: a summary of the administrative bureaucracy of the Byzantine Empire? A world almanac of pickled cucumbers? The measurement of the linear density of fibre? 'Prepare to fall fast asleep with the most boring book ever published' Tim Jones, sleep specialist

Something has gone wrong. We're living in an age of celebratory racism, extreme inequality, uncertainty and fear. We're governed by people who claim to be populist but who seem to hate everyone. There are idiots at the wheel and we're heading for a cliff in a big red bus and no one knows how to save us. Enemies of The People reveals who has taken us to this dizzying precipice. It provides the actual, non-alternative facts about Donald Trump, Nigel Farage, Vladimir Putin and their charming friends - and also explains where they got their crazy ideas. Why did people turn so mean? How did so-called social networks like Facebook become so very anti-social? Why did anyone think it would be a good idea to privatise railways? Just how much should we fear the robots? Why is no one doing anything about Global Warming? Why is no one doing anything about Boris Johnson either? This book explains all those vital questions and more. Remember, though - they say history is written by the victors and fortunately, many of those currently winning can't seem to write more than 140 characters at a time. This gives us the golden opportunity to set the record straight and snatch back the narrative. But if we've any chance of victory, we first need to know our enemy.

'A delight' Stephen Fry BLUNDER To mistake, grossly, to err very widely. 'Someone has blundered'(Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 'Charge of the Brexit Brigade') EUTHANASIA An easy death. Strangulation by EU regulations, according to Brexiters. 'Brexit' seems to mean many things, but none of them is clear. Fortunately, help is at hand from Harry Eyres and George Myerson, who offer us pithy and incisive definitions of the key terms associated with this momentous process. From 'COCK-UP' to 'WRETCHED' via 'BUFOON' and 'MAY', Johnson's Brexit Dictionary is a delightful, witty and essential compendium inspired by Dr Johnson's original, and updated for our turbulent times.

With over a quarter million copies in print and six months on The New York Times bestseller list, The Darwin Awards shows that readers crave humor. And what better place to find it than in the stories of those human beings who improve the gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion.

Marvel at the thief who tries to steal live electrical wires. Gape at the lawnchair jockey who floats to a height of 16,000 feet suspended by helium balloons. And learn from the man who peers into a gasoline can using a cigarette lighter. All contend for Darwin Awards when their choices culminate in magnificent misadventures.

These tales of trial and awe-inspiring error-verified by the author and endorsed by website readers-illustrate the ongoing saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory. The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the finest examples of evolution in action, and shows us just how uncommon common sense can be.

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Uncle Quentin what a jolly good chap he is. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they celebrate Father's Day by taking Uncle Quentin to the local garden centre to chose a new garden shed in which to conduct his experiments. But what promised to be a relaxed outing turns into a nightmare when Quentin disappears into thin air. He surely cannot have gone far . . .

Cinderella and the Beanstalk is a family Christmas pantomime, done the Sleeping Trees way! After writing the script, booking the venue, building a set and hiring a musician, the trio realise they've forgotten one vital component; a cast. The boys have no option but to perform the entire pantomime themselves, with only their dear friend Mark Newnham on piano for compny. A glorious cocktail of your favourite pantomimes! Follow Cinderella on a perilous adventure as the scheming Rumple Stiltskin blackmails the would-be princess into retrieving the coveted golden eggs from the top of the beanstalk. Cinderella must complete her quest in order to recover her glass slipper, but with Prince Charming, the Fairy Godmother and Jack's pregnant cow all doing their best to get in the way, these delicious, oversized eggs may not be so easily sought out... Scrooge & the Seven Dwarves is the second Sleeping Trees pantomime and it enjoyed a hugely successful run over Christmas 2016, selling out over seven weeks at Theatre 503. The show sees a Wicked Witch steal all of the Christmas spirit from Santa Claus, which he needs to power his sleigh. Taking matters into her own hands, Santa's mother decides that there is only one person who can save Christmas from being ruined, the man who hates Christmas most of all, Ebenezer Scrooge... "It's pantomime with a jaunty twist and an intelligent exuberance. Even the biggest pantomime cynic would find enjoyment in this infectiously fun production." - A Younger Theatre

Featuring several mass-murdering authors, two fraternal writers at the head of a football-hooligan ring and a poet who crafts his lines in the air with sky writing, Roberto Bolano's Nazi Literature in the Americas details the lives of a rich cast of characters from one of the most extraordinary imaginations in world literature. Written with sharp wit and virtuosic flair, this encyclopaedic group of fictional pan-American authors is the terrifyingly humorous and remarkably inventive masterpiece which made Bolano famous throughout the Spanish-speaking world.

Birds do it, bees do it. And guess what--cookies do it, too. In fact, never have a pair of gingerbread cookies looked so pleased. Yes, the Kama Sutra meets the Joy of Cooking. Featuring an unabashed gingerbread couple, who are photographed in unflinching full color, the Cookie Sutra is a recipe for pleasure.
There is The First Posture, where two are yoked as one (yet the calorie count remains unchanged). The Pair of Tongs, allowing the woman to be open, free, sweet and crunchy. Pounding the Spot, requiring the suppleness of freshly rolled dough. There is Scissors, Autumn Dog, Tripod, The Wheelbarrow, The Snake Trap. And, for the advanced and adventurous, The Suspended Congress--great care must be taken lest the cookies crumble.

Mallory Ortberg presents...Texts from Jane Eyre is a whimsical collection of sharp, satirical and side-splittingly funny text message conversations from your favourite literary characters. Of course if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited data plan, she'd be sexting Ashley Wilkes at all hours; and if Mr Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ARDENT MISSIVES would be in ALL-CAPS; and Daisy Buchanan would text you from behind the wheel - and then text you to come pick her up after the car crash. Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, original and very clever kind of mashup that brings your favourite authors and literary characters right into the twenty-first century. Mallory Ortberg is a genius.

We've all been there. It's late. Maybe you've had a few drinks. You've decided against taking the subway and instead, to call an Uber. The app says it has arrived, but . . . where is it? Where is your Uber? Are You My Uber? is a direct parody of the 1960 P.D. Eastman children's book Are You My Mother? The scene is set as a young woman steps off the midnight bus at Port Authority. Her name? Unknown. Her goal? To find her Uber, an elusive Ford Taurus. Lost and alone in a new city, she steels herself and begins by passing right by the very object of her search. Hilarity ensues: the girl proceeds to knock at the doors of an off-duty cab, a hearse, a halal cart, and other vehicles increasing in their absurdity, willing to try anything to find her Uber. Paired with illustrations by Hilary Fitgerald Campbell, co-illustrator of Feminist Fight Club, Sarah Dooley's hilarious imagined story is parody at its best, offering readers humour and solidarity -- maybe even a little social commentary -- through an increasingly universal experience.

Too little or too much company can be stressful. By discovering all about Mindfulness, you can get away from it all by hiding out in the comfort of your own head . . . 'Valentine became a Buddhist because he was interested in dharma. Dharma is a word for cosmic law and order. Valentine is sad. He thought dharma was a type of curry.' __________ 'Alison has been staring at this beautiful tree for five hours. She was meant to be in the office. Tomorrow she will be fired. In this way, mindfulness will have solved her work-related stress.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Shed, The Meeting, The New You, and more.

Loads of towns and cities are covered in Shitsville UK. So, it's safe to say, there's every probability that somewhere local gets insulted. One thing's for sure, a more sustained attack on our great British culture has yet to been seen in print. It's quite impossible to read it in one sitting, and in truth, sits best by the lavatory, as the name suggests. Perhaps, you will buy the book out of curiosity. Only then, when you learn what bile is heaped upon your own hometown, will you take the book to a charity shop and write a stiff letter to the Telegraph. Is it a travel guide? Is it a joke? While a cloud of smugness large enough to be seen from space has settled across the land in the wake of the Olympics and the Royal Wedding and Boris Johnson's inexplicable ascendancy nobody yet dares to come forth and contradict the mood of jollity - only a fool with no concept of media literacy would dare now suggest that good old Blighty is actually, for the most part even shitter now than it was in the 1980's. That fool is Monty Cantsin. - Watch with horror as he attacks every sacred cow in the land! - Cringe with embarrassment as he transparently profiteers from scandal! - Laugh your tits off as he mocks your friend's home towns! - Choke on your chocolate milk in rage as he lampoons your own tierra patria! It may be, that some twisted and degenerate people will find it funny. Those that might snigger at a Union Jack being set on fire, perhaps. The rest of us will simply feel a little older and a little sadder.

Late for a meeting, lost your keys or having romance problems? Sometimes we all need a little guidance, and this new series pitches our favourite super-heroes against tricky situations we will all recognise, from battles with body positivity to pacifying office conflict - with often hilarious results. With official Marvel comic-book artwork throughout, and a dynamic design, this is the perfect book for Spider-Man fans who want to see the world through the eyes of their hero.

With playful wit, worldly advice and savvy observation, the bestselling authors of How to Be Parisian tackle the Parisian art of growing up.

Caroline de Maigret and Sophie Mas are back to amuse you, saying what you don’t expect to hear, just the way you want to hear it. But this time they reveal how they are modifying their favourite bad girl habits and mischievous mindsets now they are more ‘madame’ than 'mademoiselle’.

These iconoclastic, bohemian Parisiennes advise on love, seduction, fashion and dating as well as family, work, living alone and accepting imperfections.

Both poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, this gorgeous, tongue-in-cheek guide astutely illuminates what it means to be a fully-fledged woman.

The definitive comedy-writing handbook from one of the genre's most celebrated writers, this easy-to-follow guide lays out a clear system for creating humor that gets big, milk-coming-out-of-your-nose laughs, reliably and repeatably. You'll learn... the three sure-fire ways to generate material the 11 kinds of jokes and how to tell them the secret to permanently overcoming writer's block and many more tips, tricks and techniques

"If you're a fan of both cats and Star Trek, I can't recommend Star Trek Cats enough. It's one you'll page through time and again." - GeekDad The cats are back and their continuing mission: to boldly go where no one has gone before. From encounters with the Borg to adventures on the holodeck, Captain Picard, Commander Data, Counselor Troi, Doctor Crusher, and the rest of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D crew are reimagined as cats with lovingly detailed and eyebrow-raising scenes from throughout the award-winning series, perfect for Star Trek fans across the Galaxy. * An astonishingly vivid homage to the original Star Trek series with an unexpected twist: a cast of cats * Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes-from Kirk in the Captain's chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom-this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show * Jenny Parks is a scientific illustrator with a penchant for drawing animals, dinosaurs, imaginary creatures, and people as cats. She is a Comic-Con regular and lives in Denver, Colorado This companion to the bestselling Star Trek Cats brings the many adventures of Star Trek: The Next Generation Cats to life in a faithfully feline homage to the hit series. "Whether they're encountering the Borg or having adventures on the holodeck, these Star Trek kitties will win fans across the galaxy."-Catster Hilarious and ingenious artwork that is clear, detailed, and sure to keep readers coming back for more. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek: The Next Generation Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats. TM & (c) 2018 CBS Studios Inc. STAR TREK and related marks and logos are trademarks of CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.

NEW FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHORS OF HOW TO POO AT WORK From the excretion experts who brought you the global phenomenon How to Poo at Work comes Things to Do While You Poo. Specifically written to help those pooing on the job, this book is the ultimate guide to sedentary self-improvement. Expert authors Mats and Enzo share their scientific advice crafted over a lifetime of lavatory investigations to help improve every aspect of your life. From success in your career to a satisfying sex life, from health and fitness to simply earning a bit of extra cash, this book is guaranteed to help you become a better you, eight minutes at a time. Learn how to: * Find the spirituality of your sphincter with meditation * Start a really crap YouTube cooking channel * Become a travel influencer without leaving the stall * Relax with flush-friendly yoga poses * Get a six pack in just 30 days of pooing * Find true loo-ve! With detailed diagrams, expert advice and tried-and-tested testimonials, discover how to squeeze more into your day as you squeeze one out.

The Joy of Photoshop is the long-awaited book from the social media sensation James Fridman. Have you ever taken a seemingly perfect picture only to have it ruined by one tiny detail? Photoshop master James Fridman is only too happy to help, even if he sometimes takes requests a little too literally. The Joy of Photoshop contains James's best-loved and funniest image alterations. From the woman who wished to look like a mermaid, to super-fans who want to be edited into their favourite movies, his followers never get quite what they asked for. Including plenty of never-before-seen pictures, this meme-tastic book will have you in stitches!

1. In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth.

2. And darkness was upon the face of the deep; this was due to a malfunction at Lots Road Power Station.

3. And God said, Let there be light; and there was light, but Eastern Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

4. And God saw the light and it was good; He saw the quarterly bill and it was not good.

There have been many versions of the Old Testament over the centuries but never one quite like this. Spike Milligan has rewritten, in his own inimitable style, many of the best known stories of the Old Testament, featuring characters like King (my brain hurts) Solomon, the great oaf of a giant Goliath and the well-known Telegraph crossword clue, Hushai the Archite. Believers and non-believers alike will enjoy his hilarious re-working, where the jokes, jests and jibes tumble over each other from Chapter One, Verse One until the end.