The PERFECT GIFT for your long-suffering wife or prospective bride. Or, for any fool of a husband or seriously deluded groom-to-be who hasn't yet understood what he's signed up for. -------------------- Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life. Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs. Neither is true. The best day of her life was on her eighth birthday, when she got a yellow bike. -------------------- The wife likes surprises. Her favourite sort is a surprise birthday party. It is the husband's job to organise this surprise for her, and to keep her informed of every detail about it. -------------------- This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

Cinderella and the Beanstalk is a family Christmas pantomime, done the Sleeping Trees way! After writing the script, booking the venue, building a set and hiring a musician, the trio realise they've forgotten one vital component; a cast. The boys have no option but to perform the entire pantomime themselves, with only their dear friend Mark Newnham on piano for compny. A glorious cocktail of your favourite pantomimes! Follow Cinderella on a perilous adventure as the scheming Rumple Stiltskin blackmails the would-be princess into retrieving the coveted golden eggs from the top of the beanstalk. Cinderella must complete her quest in order to recover her glass slipper, but with Prince Charming, the Fairy Godmother and Jack's pregnant cow all doing their best to get in the way, these delicious, oversized eggs may not be so easily sought out... Scrooge & the Seven Dwarves is the second Sleeping Trees pantomime and it enjoyed a hugely successful run over Christmas 2016, selling out over seven weeks at Theatre 503. The show sees a Wicked Witch steal all of the Christmas spirit from Santa Claus, which he needs to power his sleigh. Taking matters into her own hands, Santa's mother decides that there is only one person who can save Christmas from being ruined, the man who hates Christmas most of all, Ebenezer Scrooge... "It's pantomime with a jaunty twist and an intelligent exuberance. Even the biggest pantomime cynic would find enjoyment in this infectiously fun production." - A Younger Theatre

WHAT THE AUTHOR SAYS This ground-breaking fourth book in the trilogy comes with a health warning to anyone in a suicidal frame of mind, or thinking of saving the NHS any further trouble. If you believe that the world has managed the pandemic well, or you have a closed mind, this book is not for you. If you have bought it already, don't worry, we've all made mistakes, so try recycling it, or just bury it under that pile of other unread books.

Birds do it, bees do it. And guess what--cookies do it, too. In fact, never have a pair of gingerbread cookies looked so pleased. Yes, the Kama Sutra meets the Joy of Cooking. Featuring an unabashed gingerbread couple, who are photographed in unflinching full color, the Cookie Sutra is a recipe for pleasure.
There is The First Posture, where two are yoked as one (yet the calorie count remains unchanged). The Pair of Tongs, allowing the woman to be open, free, sweet and crunchy. Pounding the Spot, requiring the suppleness of freshly rolled dough. There is Scissors, Autumn Dog, Tripod, The Wheelbarrow, The Snake Trap. And, for the advanced and adventurous, The Suspended Congress--great care must be taken lest the cookies crumble.

What is the nature, essence and definition of a fart? What are the consequences and disadvantages of suppressing one? Why is farting considered to be taboo? Swift's The Benefit of Farting argues eloquently, in a forceful a posteriori fashion, that most of the distempers thought to affect the fairer sex are due to flatulences not adequately vented. To complete the excursus into this venerable and age-old human activity, Charles James Fox's Essay upon Wind provides a detailed analysis, classification and history of farting, peppered with wit and curious anecdotes about particularly eminent farters of the past.

Written by bestselling author Boris Starling, Teenagers is one of the first titles in the brand new Haynes Explains series. A light-hearted and entertaining take on the classic workshop manual, it contains everything you'd expect to see including exploded views, flow charts, fault diagnosis and the odd wiring diagram. It takes the reader through all stages of teenage life, giving them all the hints and tips needed to keep them running smoothly.

'Fabulously smart and entertaining . . . If virtue-signalling wokery drives you as nuts as it drives me, you will love it' Piers Morgan 'Required reading for anyone needing an antidote to the mass hysteria of humanity's latest religion' Entertainment Focus After the success of her debut Woke: A Guide to Social Justice, radical slam poet and intersectional feminist Titania McGrath has turned her talents to the realm of children's non-fiction. Aimed at activists from the age of six months to six years, Titania's book will help cultivate a new progressive generation. In a series of groundbreaking and poignant chapters, she will take you on a journey with some of the most inspiring individuals in history, such as Emmeline Pankhurst, Meghan Markle, Nelson Mandela, Hillary Clinton and Joseph Stalin. Praise for Woke: 'Beautiful classic satire' Ricky Gervais 'The latest genius twist in Britain's long tradition of satirical spoof' Daily Express 'Titania McGrath mercilessly satirises the Left's online umbrage brigade, the permanently offended, those who have taken on the role of policing thoughts and words to the point of absurdity' The Herald 'Hilarious' Evening Standard 'Hilarious' Spectator 'Hilarious' The Times 'Utterly unfunny' Peter Hitchens

The PERFECT GIFT for that superhero, saint, figure of worship or, if none of those apply, your plain dear old dad. 'Shawn has set up his own firework display in the garden. "Those big displays are rubbish," he tells his son. "You can't see a thing." When Shawn's son has seen the firework, they will go back indoors. Fireworks are more expensive than Shawn expected.' _______ '"What does a hippopotamus eat, dad?' asks Philip 'Children who ask for stuff in the gift shop,' says his dad. Being a dad is brilliant.'" _______ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' STYLIST

Too little or too much company can be stressful. By discovering all about Mindfulness, you can get away from it all by hiding out in the comfort of your own head . . . 'Valentine became a Buddhist because he was interested in dharma. Dharma is a word for cosmic law and order. Valentine is sad. He thought dharma was a type of curry.' __________ 'Alison has been staring at this beautiful tree for five hours. She was meant to be in the office. Tomorrow she will be fired. In this way, mindfulness will have solved her work-related stress.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Shed, The Meeting, The New You, and more.