2022 IPPY AWARDS SILVER MEDALIST - HOLIDAY "[A] breathtaking family treasure to page through, highly recommended." -Midwest Book Review An instant holiday classic. A happy little Christmas miracle. Even after more than 20 years after his death, pop culture icon, painter, host, and teacher Bob Ross has never been more heralded than he is today. His memorable quotes, friendly face, and signature hairstyle grace merchandise and memes around the world. But what makes Bob as beloved as he is are ultimately his core values, and his peaceful, joyful demeanor that encouraged his students and viewers to not only appreciate their natural talents but to appreciate the natural world around them. Bob was, in many respects, the embodiment of the classic holiday sprint which encourages peace on Earth and good will toward men. Now, for the first time, inspired by the classic Clement C. Moore's story, this fully-authorized tale of a painter (and his little squirrel friend) on a cold winter night pairs Bob Ross's most beautiful wintertime landscapes with a meditation on embracing not only your inner creativity, but the beauty of nature, and the feelings of peace, friendship, and harmony that blankets the entire holiday season like a happy little snowfall. Perfect for families, fans, and painters of all ages, Bob Ross's Happy Little Night Before Christmas is the perfect addition to any holiday tradition.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
So begins "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies," an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton--and the dead are returning to life Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers--and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies "transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.

The secret to living a better, deeper, more fulfilling life. Or at least, the secret to chilling out just a tiny bit. Wise, kind, observant and gentle, alpacas are the Dali Llamas of the animal kingdom. Their days consist of quiet contemplation, empathy and sweet-natured interactions with their herd - we have much to learn from them. So take a deep breath, still your mind and rise above the fray, to learn to live life the alpaca way.

We've all been there. It's late. Maybe you've had a few drinks. You've decided against taking the subway and instead, to call an Uber. The app says it has arrived, but . . . where is it? Where is your Uber? Are You My Uber? is a direct parody of the 1960 P.D. Eastman children's book Are You My Mother? The scene is set as a young woman steps off the midnight bus at Port Authority. Her name? Unknown. Her goal? To find her Uber, an elusive Ford Taurus. Lost and alone in a new city, she steels herself and begins by passing right by the very object of her search. Hilarity ensues: the girl proceeds to knock at the doors of an off-duty cab, a hearse, a halal cart, and other vehicles increasing in their absurdity, willing to try anything to find her Uber. Paired with illustrations by Hilary Fitgerald Campbell, co-illustrator of Feminist Fight Club, Sarah Dooley's hilarious imagined story is parody at its best, offering readers humour and solidarity -- maybe even a little social commentary -- through an increasingly universal experience.

THE FIRST THING THEY PRONOUNCE YOU IN LIFE IS "HUSBAND AND WIFE." THE NEXT THING IS "DEAD."
Up till now, preparing for marriage was a lot like preparing for death: You didn't know what was ahead and there was nothing you could do about it anyway LIFE SENTENCE changes all that with honest, guy-to-guy advice and counsel. Think of it this way: It's like getting your grubby hands on the other team's playbook before the big game. Which is why it's the one book they -- girlfriends, fiancees, and divorce lawyers -- don't want you to read. You'll gain valuable insights into:
BEING ENGAGED: It's the romantic equivalent of being in cyberspace. The ring is like signing a lease with an option to buy.
FIDELITY: If you think that fidelity is a raw deal, remember that she made the same deal. With you. You're the last guy she gets.
GOLF: Never, ever play with her.

Struggling to realize your full procrastination potential? Finally, a primer for procrastinators has arrived. Not Now is an illustrated instruction manual that teaches novice and advanced procrastinators how to dally, dawdle, and lollygag their way to expert-level procrastination. Starting with simple exercises, such as "sit" and "pace," instructions gradually advance in complexity and futility---"learn how to write in your non-dominant hand," "color coordinate your bookshelves to look like a Pantone color guide"-and eventually reach master level: "learn a new language by correspondence course, pack your bags, and move to another country."

From Sam Jordison, author of the bestselling Crap Towns series, comes I-SPY for Grown-ups. The I-SPY concept is very simple: it's like the 'I spy with my little eye' game, only instead of all the tedious stuff about 'something beginning with', there are pictures and descriptions and genuine opportunities to use your sleuthing skills to discover interesting things. This can be alarming - but when turned into a sport, it's also fun. The United Kingdom of Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland isn't very united anymore. Great Britain isn't very great. Or so say the wrong-headed doubters who want to talk us down! But where else can you see Morris Dancers, men in kilts, weirdly neat gardens and aggressively jovial village fetes? Nowhere else. And this guide helps you add to these great joys by awarding you points for seeing them. Isn't that the pip?

Against all odds, the Donald doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon. In fact, Trump's chances of continuing to lead the Republican field remain strong with each passing week, and it's scary as hell. In PRESIDENT TRUMP, the special collector's edition magazine, readers will uncover the full range of President Trump's plans (such as they are) for the nation's highest office. From the Inauguration to the new Cabinet of highly inappropriate members; and the repurposing of the White House, to hot topic issues such as immigration, readers will quickly learn why the hardest and scariest words in the English language are: "Elected!"

History, n. an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools. Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. Self-Esteem, n. An erroneous appraisement.

These caustic aphorisms, collected in The Devil's Dictionary, helped earn Ambrose Bierce the epithets Bitter Bierce, the Devil's Lexicographer, and the Wickedest Man in San Francisco. First published as The Cynic's Word Book (1906) and later reissued under its preferred name in 1911, Bierce's notorious collection of barbed definitions forcibly contradicts Samuel Johnson's earlier definition of a lexicographer as a harmless drudge. There was nothing harmless about Ambrose Bierce, and the words he shaped into verbal pitchforks a century ago--with or without the devil's help--can still draw blood today.

A whip-smart, dark comedy for fans of Sally Rooney, Fleabag and My Year of Rest and Relaxation 'Janet is my soulmate' LUCY MANGAN 'Surprising and irreverent' NEW YORK TIMES *** If there was a pill that promised happiness... Would you take it? Meet Janet. Janet is sad. Not about her life, about the world. Have you seen it these days? The thing is, she's not out to make anyone else sad. She's not turning up to weddings shouting that most marriages end in divorce. She just wants to wear her giant coat, get rid of her passive-aggressive boyfriend, and avoid human interaction at the rundown dog shelter where she works. That is, until word spreads about a new pill that promises cynics like her one day off from being sad. When her family stages an intervention, and the prospect of making it through Christmas alone seems like too much, Janet finally decides to give them what they want. What follows is life-changing for all concerned - in ways no one quite expects. Hilarious, provocative and profound, Sad Janet is the antidote to our happiness-obsessed world. *** PRAISE FOR SAD JANET: 'The dog-whispering, post-Goth cousin to Phoebe Waller-Bridge's Fleabag' CLAUDIA DEY 'Like a grown up Daria' HELEN MCCLORY 'If you're a Halle Butler fan or like despair cut with humour, you'll love this' Leigh Stein, author of SELF CARE 'As I was reading this, my partner kept asking why I was laughing. This book is dark and hilarious and will speak to everyone who's ever wondered why they spend time with humans and not just dogs' Rowan Hisayo Buchanan, author of Starling Days and Harmless Like You 'A tragicomic riot of a book - charging, foul-mouthed and tender, across the modern condition' Claudia Dey, author of Heartbreaker 'Try reading Sad Janet ... It might just make you happy' Marcy Demansky, author of Very Nice 'A biting, pitch-perfect novel about one woman's desire to stay true to herself in a world that rewards facile happiness ... a dazzling debut' Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney 'The narrative voice of Janet in Britsch's debut novel is a skin-tingling combination of new and necessary' Booklist starred review 'Loved this book... it made me lol via the dark humour and dry observations. An artful take on the "happiness economy"' Emma Gannon, author of Olive 'I loved SAD JANET'S cynical humour. Superbly original, with spot-on one-liners. Brilliantly bleak, but with a spark of hope' Caroline Hulse, author of The Adults 'Hilarious, wise, wicked and tender' CYNTHIA D'APRIX SWEENEY 'Loved this book' EMMA GANNON 'Sharp, sad, hilarious' CLARE BEAMS

What makes a perfect husband? In this tongue-in-cheek guide, illustrated by Heath Robinson's inimitable cartoons and contraptions, there are many charmingly old-fashioned tips for how to succeed in almost all aspects of married life. First published in 1937, this delightful book gives an insight into how the roles of both wife and husband were viewed at the time and pokes gentle fun at them both. The perfect husband presses his own trousers; he can tend the lawn and entertain the baby simultaneously by means of two simple attachments to the garden roller; he can peel onions behind his back, with the help of a mirror, and thus avoid tears; he can make a vacuum cleaner and he even has a device to help him climb the stairs silently after a late night out with the boys. When offered the choice of a glass of milk or a Manhattan, he will choose the former. With chapters on courtship and proposal, the wedding, early married life, bringing up children, sports and hobbies, domestic difficulties and middle age, this book makes a highly amusing gift for those who are considering tying the knot or wish to celebrate wedded bliss.

DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country In 1881 Ambrose Bierce, journalist and former soldier for the Union army in the Civil War, began writing satirical definitions for the San Francisco Wasp, and then for William Randolph Hearst's San Francisco Examiner. Bierce was launched on a journalistic career that would see him liked and loathed in equal measure - and earn him the title of 'the wickedest man in San Francisco'. In his column, Bierce, a contemporary of Mark Twain, brought his biting black humour to bear on spoof definitions of everyday words, writing deliberate mistranslations of the vocabulary of the establishment, the Church and the politics of his day, and shining a sardonic light on hypocrisy and deception. These columns formed the beginnings of a dictionary, first published in 1906 as The Cynic's Word Book. Over 100 years later, Bierce's redefinitions still give us pause for thought - REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words; UN-AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish; POLITICS, n. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage - making for a timely new edition of this irreverent and provocative satire.

Turtle, **** stars: Came with super cute case, not the fastest, but outlasts every comparable unit. Dropped into a pond and still works perfectly. Otter, *** stars: Sturdy build, totally winter-ready and waterproof. Only comes in brown. Launched by the Oregon Zoo and quickly picked up by zoos, aquariums, scientists, and the funny people of Twitter, #rateaspecies is a global, viral hit, and a chance for people to honestly - and hilariously - review the animal kingdom. In Rate A Species, the Association of Zoos and Aquariums has crowd-sourced 150 of the best entries, the majority of which are new to the book, from their 233 member zoos and aquariums. Packed with adorable photographs of every animal and laced with wit and humour, Rate A Species is the perfect gift or self-purchase for animal lovers of all ages.

Written by bestselling author Boris Starling, Festivals is one of the new titles for 2020 in the Haynes Explains series. A light-hearted and entertaining take on the classic workshop manual, it contains everything you'd expect to see including exploded views, flow charts, fault diagnosis and the odd wiring diagram. It takes the reader through all areas of festival-going, giving all the hints and tips needed to make the entire experience run smoothly and mud-free.

NEW, FULLY UPDATED EDITION

'Brexit means Brexit.' 'Strong and stable.' 'I don't think I'm in the least robotic.'

Ever since Theresa May first whirred into inaction as prime minister, there has only been one reliable source of strength and stability: John Crace's political sketches for the Guardian. These doses of biting satire not only provided much-needed respite from the madness of it all, but also gave us his now notorious moniker for our automaton PM, the Maybot.

In I, Maybot, Crace introduces a curated selection of his most acerbic sketches, charting May's tumultuous premiership to date. From the EU referendum and ensuing tragicomic leadership campaign, to the snap election, Tory–DUP coalition of chaos and endless Brexit wranglings, Crace's analysis makes for essential and uproariously entertaining reading.

Celebrity chef Stuart O'Keeffe and comedian Amy Phillips razz the Real Housewives in this gorgeous cookbook filled with recipes inspired by iconic moments in the franchise's rich history. With a foreword by Andy Cohen. "Cook It, Spill It, Throw It is an immersive, one-of-a-kind experience in a world we can't escape (but let's face it, we don't want to!)." -from the foreword by Andy Cohen Trends come and go, but watching rich women drink and catfight is forever. Which is why after more than a decade of airing, the Real Housewives phenomenon continues to reign supreme in the pop culture stratosphere. Week after week, season after season, loyal fans watch the thrilling drama-the backstabbing, the gossiping, the screaming, the table flipping, the wine tossing-unfold. Cook It, Spill It, Throw It is a cookbook created specifically for Housewives fans. Chef Stuart O'Keeffe and comedian Amy Phillips-long-time devotees themselves-have dreamed up an inviting menu served with a side of delicious snark. Inspired by the series and its stars, the dishes and drinks evoke familiar moments of chaos from the franchise. Whether you're looking to make Ponytail Pulled Pork, or you want to comfort a friend in the Caicos with Eggs a Lu'Francais, there's a meal for you-and there are definitely plenty of drinks (including Henny-thing Can Happen and the classic Singer Stinger Sipper). Featuring gorgeous original photography and equally gorgeous recipes, Cook It, Spill It, Throw It is the must-have cookbook and companion for every Housewives addict.

From hairstyles to heartbreak, sisters are jolly spiffing and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions captures everything to love about the trials and tribulations of having a sister. The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books for adults brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Brother The Wit and Wisdom of Grandma The Wit and Wisdom of Grandad The Wit and Wisdom of Mum The Wit and Wisdom of Dad The Wit and Wisdom of the Wife The Wit and Wisdom of the Husband The Wit and Wisdom of Beer The Wit and Wisdom of Wine The Wit and Wisdom of Prosecco The Wit and Wisdom of Gin

Researched and written by two historians well respected in concentric circles, this hilarious take on our collective past reveals stunning new discoveries and fascinating new figures, from Koos van Doosch, the cheese pimp who settled the Cape a year before Van Riebeeck, to Shaka’s lesser-known brother, Nigel Zulu, who just wanted to be a florist.

You’ll discover how the winner of the Mr Mielie Board beauty pageant came to rule South Africa, and you’ll celebrate our greatest triumphs, like when Matt Damon and Morgan Freeman won the Rugby World Cup in 1995.

From small fat gold-plated rhinos in Mapungubwe, to small fat gold-plated polititians in Mangaung, The Unauthorised History of South Africa tells you the history you always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask.

Funny Stories About White Privilege and Black Identity from a Black Nerd's PerspectiveAuthor and Ebony Magazine podcaster Ron Dawson lends his wit and comical social commentary to tell the story of how one of the "whitest" and nerdiest of black men finally woke up, found his blackness, and lost all inhibitions at dropping the f-bomb. A coming-of-age story of black identity. In the suburbs of Atlanta, Ron was a black nerd (aka "blerd") living very comfortably in his white world. He loved his white wife, worked well with his white workmates, and worshiped at a white church. On November 8, 2016, everything changed when Trump became POTUS. Ron began a journey of self-discovery that made him question everything-from faith to friendships. Part social commentary and part fantastical narrative. This book goes where no blerd has gone before. In a psychedelic way, Ron is guided by a guardian "angel" in the guise of Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction. Sam is there to help Ron, well, be more black. Ron confronts his black "sins" and wrestles with black identity, systemic racism, and what it means to be "black" in America. Uncomfortable conversations. Throughout this book, you'll learn lessons from a man who deconstructs his faith and confronts personal demons of racial identity. Gain new perspectives through these funny stories that will reshape your current views on black identity. Inside, you'll find: The funniest social commentary on white privilege and black identity Political satire wrapped in funny stories of a man's journey to confront the systemic racism and Christian hypocrisy around him Comical if not uncomfortable conversations about what it means to be black in America If you liked You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey, Things That Make White People Uncomfortable, Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, or I'm Judging You, you'll love Dungeons 'n' Durags.