Turtle, **** stars: Came with super cute case, not the fastest, but outlasts every comparable unit. Dropped into a pond and still works perfectly. Otter, *** stars: Sturdy build, totally winter-ready and waterproof. Only comes in brown. Launched by the Oregon Zoo and quickly picked up by zoos, aquariums, scientists, and the funny people of Twitter, #rateaspecies is a global, viral hit, and a chance for people to honestly - and hilariously - review the animal kingdom. In Rate A Species, the Association of Zoos and Aquariums has crowd-sourced 150 of the best entries, the majority of which are new to the book, from their 233 member zoos and aquariums. Packed with adorable photographs of every animal and laced with wit and humour, Rate A Species is the perfect gift or self-purchase for animal lovers of all ages.

Written by bestselling author Boris Starling, Festivals is one of the new titles for 2020 in the Haynes Explains series. A light-hearted and entertaining take on the classic workshop manual, it contains everything you'd expect to see including exploded views, flow charts, fault diagnosis and the odd wiring diagram. It takes the reader through all areas of festival-going, giving all the hints and tips needed to make the entire experience run smoothly and mud-free.

From parties to proposals, Prosecco is just spiffing and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions captures everything to love about a glass of bubbly. The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards. Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Mum The Wit and Wisdom of Dad The Wit and Wisdom of the Husband The Wit and Wisdom of the Wife The Wit and Wisdom of Wine The Wit and Wisdom of Beer

From God (`Best Size for a Bang?') via Dickens (`Things Urchins Say'), Henry VIII ('Breaking Bad News to women from Cleeves') and Karl Marx 'Cheating at Monopoly'), here are the greatest moments from history as told through internet search histories. Following on from classic humour titles such as 1066 and all that and An Utterly Impartial History of Britain comes the perfect gift for any history buff who wants a chuckle.

THE PERFECT GIFT for the lonely, the deluded and the desperate. __________________________________ It is Barney and Leigh's wedding day. They have certainly come a long way from their first date. They have learned to supress their personalities and pretend they want the same things, so they will be able to put up with each other for several years. Everyone is happy for them. Their story is over. __________________________________ Marcus and Fiona have had three dates. Fiona knows this means she will either end up spending the rest of her life with Marcus, or eventually have to break up with him, horribly. Both of these ideas are terrifying to Fiona. Tomorrow Fiona will fake her own death and join Cirque du Soleil. __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

In The Miserable Lives of Fabulous Artists, Chris Orr turns his humorous gaze on some of the most famous - and fabulous - artists of the past. With over 30 new works, accompanied by Orr's captions, artists from Edward Hopper to Pablo Picasso find themselves in weird and wonderful situations. Edvard Munch holidays at the seaside, John Constable RA is disturbed at his easel by frolicking nudists and there's an unfortunate incident in Barbara Hepworth's studio... No one can escape Orr's imagination: Walter Sickert is distracted from a spreadeagled model by a fly in his soup, Dame Laura Knight RA is caught shoplifting, and Frida Kahlo enjoys a fry-up. Each image is packed with detail to pore over, and the book concludes with notes from the artist, accompanied by preparatory drawings for the finished work. This new collection, published to coincide with an exhibition of Orr's works at the Royal Academy of Arts, is a charming romp which affectionately pokes fun at well-loved artists.

The PERFECT GIFT for your long-suffering wife or prospective bride. Or, for any fool of a husband or seriously deluded groom-to-be who hasn't yet understood what he's signed up for. -------------------- Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life. Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs. Neither is true. The best day of her life was on her eighth birthday, when she got a yellow bike. -------------------- The wife likes surprises. Her favourite sort is a surprise birthday party. It is the husband's job to organise this surprise for her, and to keep her informed of every detail about it. -------------------- This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

Brextorians had long suspected that at the time of the Brexit negotiations, a series of audio recordings were made by and of government officials. In the year 3563, their suspicions were confirmed with the discovery of the first cache of tapes: conversations in the halls of Westminster and in private residences, secretly recorded in direct contravention of privacy laws. In The Brexit Tapes, the transcripts of these recordings are published for the very first time. Compiled by leading Brextorian John Bull, they offer a remarkable insight into the lost years from the Referendum to the Second Dark Age, and a clear picture of the events leading up to the civil war that followed. Directly challenging the accounts of Brexit provided in The Book of Mogg and Lord Johnson's Res Brexitica, these transcripts are our first concrete record of history as it happened and, for the modern reader, a way to finally understand one of the most tumultuous periods of British history.

'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original.' Independent In the gloom of the room, a fully dressed man lies on the sofa. The next morning, the TV comes on and - ugh! - ! up lurches a thirsty and very hungover caterpillar. From the bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt, comes another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book. This time, we follow the quest of one man as he attempts to shake off his hangover, through eating whatever he can get his hands on, and annoying his family in the process. The perfect book for anyone who fondly remembers the original, but has now grown up and knows all too well just how painful hungover days can be . . .

'A rollercoaster of glorious, criminal wordplay' - Ian Martin, writer of VEEP, THE DEATH OF STALIN 'Shit Literary Siblings celebrates the mundane figures, and the characters that, until now, were destined to lurk in the wings - Donna Quixote, Todd Gatsby, Hubert Humbert included' - The Face The imagined worlds of books are populated by some of the most loved and recognisable characters we know. But for every famous detective, Victorian heroine and beloved children's character there often exists an overlooked, often rubbish, and frequently downright sh*t sibling. These unfortunate nobodies have never had the spotlight turned upon them. Until now. Meet the likes of... Euston Bear - currently living off Burger King wrapper sandwiches after ending up at the wrong station Walter Wonka - a Kettering dentist with a phobia of dwarves Gandalf the Greggs - beardy, pastry-covered piss wizard who spends long periods of time in the high street bakery chain The Honourable Jeremy Dracula - younger brother of the Count. Vegetarian. And many more. With illustrations to help you spot these oddballs hanging around on the streets, SH*T LITERARY SIBLINGS is a must have slice of humour for the book lover in your life.

In a culture dominated by gym fail memes, sweat patches, and a bit too much grunting, the fitness world is embarrassing enough without not knowing what to do, how to act or what to say. Whether holding your own in a fitness discussion with a high-intensity gym 'bro', or nervously stepping onto the treadmill for the first time, The Bluffer's Guide to Fitness is for everyone who wants to make fitness a part of their daily life. Fitness bluffers of all ages and genders will appreciate the hints, tips and no-nonsense advice on how to bluff your way around a gym, park run or swimming pool; how to pre-empt - and even counter-offer - fitness advice; how to safely break fitness etiquette to your advantage; and how to look and sound fitter than you actually are. Covering a broad spectrum, from weightlifting and gym classes to home gyms and street fitness, The Bluffer's Guide to Fitness is essential reading for bluffers wanting to survive a trip to the gym; for bluffers wanting to emerge victorious in a conversation with a fitness expert; and for anyone who has flirted with the idea of fitness after realising 'cuddly' isn't actually a compliment.

Not sure how to say "I love you" (or simply, "I need to VERB you!") this Valentine's Day? Mad Libs After Dark has you covered! This sexy collection includes two previously published relationship-themed Adult Mad Libs titles, bound together in a sleek hardcover package that features an eye-catching faux-leather cover design and interior pages edged in red. Forget Netflix and chill. This Valentine's Day, it's all about Mad Libs and VERB!

A loving but take-no-prisoners (grant them full amnesty) send-up of the beloved book and television franchise, Lame of Thrones will do for Game of Thrones what Nightlight and The Hunger Pains did for Twilight and The Hunger Games, offering fans a way of reentering the fictional world they have come to love and exploding all of its conventions-as well as their expectations of the characters-to hilarious ends. This side-splitting gut-busting laugh-tastic rib-tickling make-you-laugh ha-ha parody may just even leave you more satisfied than the actual ending of Game of Thrones. And in addition to fancy-shmancy satisfaction, this book will also leave you with something way more important-something no book ever has been able to achieve: gratuitous sex and violence that is somehow more graphic than the sex and violence on the TV version of Game of Thrones. Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several different extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a likely bet, but the untimely murder of him by his own men of the Night's Crotch has made that seem less likely. However, Smellisandre, a witch who has the uncannily convenient ability to bring people back to life is also conveniently located in the same room as Jon's corpse, so maybe she'll do something about it? Will Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkakhi captors and return to conquer the world? Or will she just get left in the desert for the rest of the books, counting grains of sand? And what about Jon Dough's siblings Bland Snark, who's off training with the Pink Eyed Raven, and Malarya Snark, who's off training with the Tasteless Men? Will they be mentioned? Probably? Almost definitely, yes? It would be weird if they weren't prominent characters in the book, you say? To find out, read the book you wish George R.R. Martin would write, aka the book that brought The Harvard Lampoon out of publishing retirement-after five years of wandering the wasteland of the internet-ready to serve parody notice to Game of Thrones, one of the most popular book and television franchises of the past two decades.

For fans of the Netflix sensation comes the self-help book no aspiring viscountess should be without. Grosvenor Square, sometime after 1813 Dearest reader, The social season is upon us! And whether you marriage-minded misses shall be considered a diamond or a doorstop shall soon be determined. But panic not, dear ladies, for you shall find all the advice you so desperately need within these pages. Receive instruction on how to perfect the feigned swoon; the optimal height your breasts can be squashed to; just how many feathers in your headdress is too many; and why you should never enter a maze at night unaccompanied (unless you're sure to be compromised by a sexy Duke and forced into marrying him). In short, you shall learn how to be more Bridgerton. Yours truly, Duchess Wibberfluffle

The Instant New York Times Bestseller From "Family Guy" to his own Instagram account, Janetti has been behind some of his generation's greatest comedy. This book of essays is no exception. -- The New York Times Fans of David Sedaris, Jenny Lawson, and Tina Fey... meet your new friend Gary Janetti. Gary Janetti, the writer and producer for some of the most popular television comedies of all time, and creator of one of the most wickedly funny Instagram accounts there is, now turns his skills to the page in a hilarious, and poignant book chronicling the pains and indignities of everyday life. Gary spends his twenties in New York, dreaming of starring on soap operas while in reality working at a hotel where he lusts after an unattainable colleague and battles a bellman who despises it when people actually use a bell to call him. He chronicles the torture of finding a job before the internet when you had to talk on the phone all the time, and fantasizes, as we all do, about who to tell off when he finally wins an Oscar. As Gary himself says, "These are essays from my childhood and young adulthood about things that still annoy me." Original, brazen, and laugh out loud funny, Do You Mind If I Cancel? is something not to be missed.

The handy guide to the HUSBAND makes the PERFECT GIFT for any long-suffering wife or prospective bride to give to their beloved husband. ____________________ 'The wife likes to read romantic fiction. The books are a fantasy and an escape for her. The husband does not waste his time on silly stories. He likes to read books about things that really happened and tales of real men. Reading these will be invaluable if he ever has to land on the moon or be in the S.A.S. or help manage the England football team.' ____________________ 'The husband likes to do simple repairs, like changing the washer on a tap. Afterwards he likes to talk at great length about what a struggle it was, and will want to be treated as if he has invented a machine that turns farts into gold.' ____________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

Captain's log: We have entered a galaxy where beloved illustrator Jenny Parks has conjured an astonishingly vivid homage to the original Star Trek series with an unexpected twist: a cast of cats. Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes - from Kirk in the Captain's chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom - this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats.

A book that celebrates how great--and gross--dogs can be. Do you take your dog to parties so that you know you'll have someone to hang out with? Does your dog eat better than you do? Do you have a doggy daycare report card stuck to your fridge? Do you regularly remove various disgusting things from your dog's mouth and hardly wince? Then this book is for you! I Am About to Lick Your Human is a hilarious collection of doggo sentiments and situations paired with fun and playful illustrations. It includes a catalogue of all the things you'll pull out of your dog's mouth, confessions of a dog lover, and a checklist for the soon-to-be dog owner (number one: no aversion to bodily fluids). This is the ultimate gift for canine lovers that celebrates all that is good (and bad) about dog ownership.

It's been called the greatest novel ever written. Now, Tolstoy's timeless saga of love and betrayal is transported to an awesomer version of 19th-century Russia. It is a world humming with high-powered groznium engines: where debutantes dance the 3D waltz in midair, mechanical wolves charge into battle alongside brave young soldiers, and robots-miraculous, beloved robots!-are the faithful companions of everyone who's anyone. Restless to forge her own destiny in this fantastic modern life, the bold noblewoman Anna and her enigmatic Android Karenina abandon a loveless marriage to seize passion with the daring, handsome Count Vronsky. But when their scandalous affair gets mixed up with dangerous futuristic villainy, the ensuing chaos threatens to rip apart their lives, their families, and-just maybe-all of planet Earth.

Featuring several mass-murdering authors, two fraternal writers at the head of a football-hooligan ring and a poet who crafts his lines in the air with sky writing, Roberto Bolano's Nazi Literature in the Americas details the lives of a rich cast of characters from one of the most extraordinary imaginations in world literature. Written with sharp wit and virtuosic flair, this encyclopaedic group of fictional pan-American authors is the terrifyingly humorous and remarkably inventive masterpiece which made Bolano famous throughout the Spanish-speaking world.

Have you taken children to a gallery recently? Did you struggle to explain the work to them in plain , simple English? With this new Dung Beetle book, both parents and young children can learn about contemporary art, and understand many of its key themes. Join John and Susan on their exciting journey through the art exhibition, where, with Mummy's help, they will discover the real meaning of all the contemporary art works from empty rooms, to vagina paintings or giant inflatable dogs.

Funny Stories About White Privilege and Black Identity from a Black Nerd's PerspectiveAuthor and Ebony Magazine podcaster Ron Dawson lends his wit and comical social commentary to tell the story of how one of the "whitest" and nerdiest of black men finally woke up, found his blackness, and lost all inhibitions at dropping the f-bomb. A coming-of-age story of black identity. In the suburbs of Atlanta, Ron was a black nerd (aka "blerd") living very comfortably in his white world. He loved his white wife, worked well with his white workmates, and worshiped at a white church. On November 8, 2016, everything changed when Trump became POTUS. Ron began a journey of self-discovery that made him question everything-from faith to friendships. Part social commentary and part fantastical narrative. This book goes where no blerd has gone before. In a psychedelic way, Ron is guided by a guardian "angel" in the guise of Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction. Sam is there to help Ron, well, be more black. Ron confronts his black "sins" and wrestles with black identity, systemic racism, and what it means to be "black" in America. Uncomfortable conversations. Throughout this book, you'll learn lessons from a man who deconstructs his faith and confronts personal demons of racial identity. Gain new perspectives through these funny stories that will reshape your current views on black identity. Inside, you'll find: The funniest social commentary on white privilege and black identity Political satire wrapped in funny stories of a man's journey to confront the systemic racism and Christian hypocrisy around him Comical if not uncomfortable conversations about what it means to be black in America If you liked You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey, Things That Make White People Uncomfortable, Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, or I'm Judging You, you'll love Dungeons 'n' Durags.

The Devil's Dictionary (1906) is a work of satire by Ambrose Bierce. Although he is commonly remembered for his chilling short stories on the experiences of Civil War soldiers, Bierce was recognized in his day as a leading journalist and humorist who spent decades ruffling feathers and drawing laughter with his witty opinion columns, poems, and definitions. Toward the end of his career, he decided to compile these satirical definitions into a book, following in the footsteps of Samuel Johnson, Noah Webster, and Gustave Flaubert. Immensely popular upon publication, The Devil's Dictionary inspired countless imitators, but remains one-of-a-kind. Reading Bierce's definitions today, it's not hard to imagine the controversy they must have caused, matched only by the laughs they must have roused, when published at the onset of the twentieth century. Written during a period of undaunted industrial growth, of immense wealth and promise in a nation recently torn apart by civil war, The Devil's Dictionary preserves a tantalizing touch of irreverence and doubt which must remain funny to those who know humor when they sense it. "AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful providence for the fattening of the poor." "CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others." Crafted for the cynic, quoted by the misanthrope, Bierce's definitions prove profoundly entertaining and frequently accurate-sort of-over a century after they were published. With a beautifully designed cover and professionally typeset manuscript, this edition of Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary is a classic of American literature reimagined for modern readers.

From marital bliss to margaritas, wives are awfully wonderful and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions capture everything to love about marriage. The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards. Perfect as a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Mother's Day gift for long-suffering wives everywhere. Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Dad, The Wit and Wisdom of Mum and The Wit and Wisdom of the Husband.