The real guide to pregnancy, birth and beyond. I'm assuming you've picked up this book because you're either curious about having kids, you're currently up the duff, or you're stumbling through the early days of parenthood with a mattress-sized sanitary towel between your legs wondering what the hell has just happened. That, or you're killing time in WHSmith, waiting for your flight to Ibiza. You lucky bastard. Either way, this book is your pregnancy, birth and postpartum BFF. Welcome to Motherhood, Bitches is your one-stop, no-filter guide to everything from swollen vulvas and dinner-plate areolas; from shitting in labour to the horror of postpartum haemorrhoids; from mindless sleep deprivation to salvaging a sex life when your pelvic floor has hit the floor. But mainly, it's a reassuring reminder that feeling slightly (or shockingly) out of control with a newborn baby human is entirely normal...we promise.

With over a quarter million copies in print and six months on The New York Times bestseller list, The Darwin Awards shows that readers crave humor. And what better place to find it than in the stories of those human beings who improve the gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion.

Marvel at the thief who tries to steal live electrical wires. Gape at the lawnchair jockey who floats to a height of 16,000 feet suspended by helium balloons. And learn from the man who peers into a gasoline can using a cigarette lighter. All contend for Darwin Awards when their choices culminate in magnificent misadventures.

These tales of trial and awe-inspiring error-verified by the author and endorsed by website readers-illustrate the ongoing saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory. The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the finest examples of evolution in action, and shows us just how uncommon common sense can be.

A self-care journal for when you realize buying a scented candle isn't actually going to make you feel f*cking better Ah, self-care. Yoga classes, green juice, bubble baths, face goop. F*ck that. The new self-care is all about taking care of yourself in whatever way you need to feel good. Whatever your paycheck or location, your identity, social class, race, gender-self-care belongs to YOU. Self-care isn't just for the Insta-influencers doing all the yoga and eating their acai bowls. Self-care is for all of us-it's for the stressed-out queens, the women who are doing it all and just need a minute for themselves. It's for the anxiety-ridden, the wellness-challenged, the people who need a break to focus on their own mental health. Self-care is about identifying your core values and making the time to nurture them. It's about taking a look at the tough stuff-anxiety, mental health, self-love, boundaries, empowerment-and finding concrete ways to help. Enter: I Am F*cking Radiant, a positive self-help book for women looking to: Embrace some self-love-the perfect self-esteem book for women looking to celebrate our badass selves Quiet that asshole in your head-take the time to give your mental health some TLC Feel all the feels-because emotional intelligence feels f*cking great (even when you feel f*cking bad) And take care of your #1: prioritize YOU!With guided prompts, sweary sayings, and an empowering AF attitude, this is the perfect journal for readers who are over the bullsh*t and are ready to take their self-care into their own hands. The ideal self-care gift, relaxing gift for women, or guided journal to get you through, this book will get you to stand up and declare, "I am radiant and I deserve some f*cking self-care!"

In a culture dominated by gym fail memes, sweat patches, and a bit too much grunting, the fitness world is embarrassing enough without not knowing what to do, how to act or what to say. Whether holding your own in a fitness discussion with a high-intensity gym 'bro', or nervously stepping onto the treadmill for the first time, The Bluffer's Guide to Fitness is for everyone who wants to make fitness a part of their daily life. Fitness bluffers of all ages and genders will appreciate the hints, tips and no-nonsense advice on how to bluff your way around a gym, park run or swimming pool; how to pre-empt - and even counter-offer - fitness advice; how to safely break fitness etiquette to your advantage; and how to look and sound fitter than you actually are. Covering a broad spectrum, from weightlifting and gym classes to home gyms and street fitness, The Bluffer's Guide to Fitness is essential reading for bluffers wanting to survive a trip to the gym; for bluffers wanting to emerge victorious in a conversation with a fitness expert; and for anyone who has flirted with the idea of fitness after realising 'cuddly' isn't actually a compliment.

A WATERSTONES BEST BOOK OF 2022: HUMOUR Want to be a rocket-riding tech titan? You've come to the right school. Elon Musk's Billionaire School makes it simple to follow in Elon's footsteps and accumulate the wealth and power of a medium-sized nation in just 30 days. Capitalise on these easy lessons drawn from the lives, philosophies and business practices of the alpha billionaires who are shaping humanity's future, including Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and, of course, Elon himself. It's the complete, foolproof resource for your billionaire's journey - from founding your first startup through to becoming High-God-Emperor of Mars. Elon Musk's Billionaire School. Enrol today. Escape the planet tomorrow.

"If you're a fan of both cats and Star Trek, I can't recommend Star Trek Cats enough. It's one you'll page through time and again." - GeekDad The cats are back and their continuing mission: to boldly go where no one has gone before. From encounters with the Borg to adventures on the holodeck, Captain Picard, Commander Data, Counselor Troi, Doctor Crusher, and the rest of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D crew are reimagined as cats with lovingly detailed and eyebrow-raising scenes from throughout the award-winning series, perfect for Star Trek fans across the Galaxy. * An astonishingly vivid homage to the original Star Trek series with an unexpected twist: a cast of cats * Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes-from Kirk in the Captain's chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom-this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show * Jenny Parks is a scientific illustrator with a penchant for drawing animals, dinosaurs, imaginary creatures, and people as cats. She is a Comic-Con regular and lives in Denver, Colorado This companion to the bestselling Star Trek Cats brings the many adventures of Star Trek: The Next Generation Cats to life in a faithfully feline homage to the hit series. "Whether they're encountering the Borg or having adventures on the holodeck, these Star Trek kitties will win fans across the galaxy."-Catster Hilarious and ingenious artwork that is clear, detailed, and sure to keep readers coming back for more. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek: The Next Generation Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats. TM & (c) 2018 CBS Studios Inc. STAR TREK and related marks and logos are trademarks of CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.

The perfect guide for those spending a little too much time in the shed . . . Using your shed as an office is called shedworking. Bunny works from his shed. He is a freelance cow-whisperer. At least, that's what he tells his wife. Bunny is unemployed. __________ 'Michael and Gwen are looking for the placemats Gwen's mother bought them for Christmas. 'Quick,' says Gwen. 'She will be here in twenty minutes!' 'I bet we hid them in here,' says Michael, closing himself inside the quiet shed. Michael says he will not give up looking for the mats in the shed, even if it takes him all day.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The People Next Door, The Zombie Apocalypse, The Meeting, and more.

An A to Z compendium for our paranoid times that explores the most popular conspiracy theories, from Area 51 and vaccines to Chemtrails and JFK. Whether you're a die-hard net-warrior or a freshly initiated paranormal explorer, I is for Illuminati is a mind-blowing trip through the most fascinating-and enduring-conspiracy theories that live on web and circulate the globe. With the ubiquity of the internet, conspiracy theories have infiltrated nearly every aspect of society, from politics to business, sports, healthcare, history, geology, meteorology, the military-industrial complex, and of course, outer space. Whether you want to learn about the world of the Freemasons or are curious about what's really hidden in the restricted areas of the Great Pyramid, Chris Vola has the answers. In this fully illustrated, darkly funny guide that plays on the classic ABC primer, he examines the biggest conspiracies of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, including: A is for Aliens B is for Bermuda Triangle C is for Chemtrails D is for Denver Airport E is for Earth (Flat, Hollow) F is for Fluoride G is for Giants H is for HAARP I is for Illuminati J is for J. Edgar Hoover K is for Kennedy L is for Lizard People M is for Moon Landing N is for Nazi's in South America O is for Opioids P is for Pyramids Q is for QAnon R is for Roswell S is for Smithsonian Institution T is for Time Travel U is for United Nations V is for Vaccinations W is for Walt Disney X is for Planet X Y is for Yeti Z is for Zeitgeist With history (and rhymes!) about twenty-six of the most baffling global conspiracies, illustrated with original full-color drawings created by Keni Thomas and specially designed for the book, this is the ultimate gift for X-files fans, Alexa-muters, and all who want to believe (or already do).

What would Little Women be without the charms of the March family's cozy New England home? Or Wuthering Heights without the ghost-infested Wuthering Heights? Getting lost in the setting of a good book can be half the pleasure of reading, and Decorating a Room of One's Own brings literary backdrops to the foreground in this wryly affectionate satire of interior design reporting. English professor and humorist Susan Harlan spoofs decorating culture by reimagining its subject as famous fictional homes and "interviews" the residents who reveal their true tastes: Lady Macbeth's favorite room in the castle, or the design inspiration behind Jay Gatsby's McMansion of unfulfilled dreams. Featuring 30 entries of notable dwellings, sidebars such as "Setting Up an Ideal Governess's Room," and four-color spot illustrations throughout, Decorating a Room of One's Own is the ideal book for readers who appreciate fine literature and a good end table.

Turtle, **** stars: Came with super cute case, not the fastest, but outlasts every comparable unit. Dropped into a pond and still works perfectly. Otter, *** stars: Sturdy build, totally winter-ready and waterproof. Only comes in brown. Launched by the Oregon Zoo and quickly picked up by zoos, aquariums, scientists, and the funny people of Twitter, #rateaspecies is a global, viral hit, and a chance for people to honestly - and hilariously - review the animal kingdom. In Rate A Species, the Association of Zoos and Aquariums has crowd-sourced 150 of the best entries, the majority of which are new to the book, from their 233 member zoos and aquariums. Packed with adorable photographs of every animal and laced with wit and humour, Rate A Species is the perfect gift or self-purchase for animal lovers of all ages.

Grab a pint of your favourite brew and settle down with Craft Beer Mad Libs. Featuring 21 fill-in-the-blank stories, this Mad Libs pairs nicely with a local IPA, a stout porter, or a macro-brewed pitcher of NOUN.

Calm the hell down, live in the now, and get mindful as f*ck with these quick and snarky ways to live in the moment.

When the entire world seems on your ass about something, taking a second to chill out, collect your thoughts, and process your stress can help a lot. Mindful As F*ck shows you how to be present, centered, and positive so you can live in the now regardless of how you're feeling.

With straight-forward entries like "Slay Your Fear with Lion's Breath," "Set Your Intention Right Fucking Now," and "Write a Badass Haiku," this entertaining and effective book helps live your best life no matter what gets thrown your way.

In the library of a country house in Nottinghamshire, Vivian is writing an article about the importance of lying, when he is interrupted by Cyril, who tries to tempt him away, but instead is drawn into a discussion about art, nature, literature and imagination. The Decay of Lying sees Wilde explore his deepest preoccupations about the relationship between life and art, and examine the work of such writers as Shakespeare and Balzac.

2022 IPPY AWARDS SILVER MEDALIST - HOLIDAY "[A] breathtaking family treasure to page through, highly recommended." -Midwest Book Review An instant holiday classic. A happy little Christmas miracle. Even after more than 20 years after his death, pop culture icon, painter, host, and teacher Bob Ross has never been more heralded than he is today. His memorable quotes, friendly face, and signature hairstyle grace merchandise and memes around the world. But what makes Bob as beloved as he is are ultimately his core values, and his peaceful, joyful demeanor that encouraged his students and viewers to not only appreciate their natural talents but to appreciate the natural world around them. Bob was, in many respects, the embodiment of the classic holiday sprint which encourages peace on Earth and good will toward men. Now, for the first time, inspired by the classic Clement C. Moore's story, this fully-authorized tale of a painter (and his little squirrel friend) on a cold winter night pairs Bob Ross's most beautiful wintertime landscapes with a meditation on embracing not only your inner creativity, but the beauty of nature, and the feelings of peace, friendship, and harmony that blankets the entire holiday season like a happy little snowfall. Perfect for families, fans, and painters of all ages, Bob Ross's Happy Little Night Before Christmas is the perfect addition to any holiday tradition.

Since the late 1990s, Private Eye's 'What You Didn't Miss' column has trained a vigilant lens on some of the great literary reputations of our age. Highlights of this bumper selection include Martin Amis exploring the sexual revolution of the 1960s, A.S. Byatt rewriting the Norse myths and the late Anthony Powell reflecting on his death. There are verse contributions from such distinguished contemporary poets as Seamus Heaney, Clive James and Sir Andrew Motion and a host of biographical subjects ranging from Hugh Trevor-Roper to the Bloomsbury Group. Edited and introduced by D.J. Taylor, What You Didn't Miss Part 94 doubles up as both an hilarious collection of literary lampoons and an alternative history of modern English Literature.

What if there's a hidden dimension to Donald Trump; a sensitive, poetic side? Driven by this question, Rob Sears began combing Trump's words for signs of poetry. What he found was a revelation. By simply taking the 45th President of the United States' tweets and transcripts, cutting them up and reordering them, Sears unearthed a trove of beautiful verse that was just waiting to be discovered. This groundbreaking collection gives readers a glimpse of Trump's innermost thoughts and feelings on everything from the nature of truth, to what he hates about Lord Sugar. And it will reveal a hitherto hidden Donald, who may surprise and delight both students and critics alike. Now with seventeen all-new poems! As we lurch deeper into the Trump presidency, this timely publication also includes Sears' scholarly footnotes and introduction, in which he excavates new critical angles and insights into the President's poetry which the casual reader might initially overlook.

The latest no-f**ks-given guide from New York Times bestselling author of the international sensations The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, Get Your Sh*t Together, You Do You, and Calm the F**k Down.

How to stop saying yes when you can't, you shouldn't, or you just don't want to

With 2 million copies sold worldwide, Sarah Knight's bestselling No F*cks Given Guides prove that she's the Queen of No: no to a single extraneous f*ck given, to unwanted obligations, overcommitting, and overcomplicating her life.

For Sarah, saying no is easy. For the rest of us, it's stress-inducing, blood pressure-raising, teeth-grinding hard. But it doesn't have to be. F**k No! is filled with tips, techniques, and practical strategies that will arm you with not only permission to decline, but plenty of ammunition for doing so.

An encyclopedia of examples, a cornucopia of comebacks, a plethora of polite replies: if you're looking to say no (and without being selfish, unlikeable, or mired in missing out), you've come to the right place.

There's a veritable cornucopia of words that can be used to describe President Donald J. Trump. Sadly they can't all fit inside this book. Born and raised in the New York borough of Queens, he took over the family business in 1971. After several high-profile marriages, multiple lawsuits and bankruptcies, and a starring role in "reality" television, the next step was obvious... he became president of the United States. R. Lee Copperhead has done extensive research, travelling far and wide to interview countless sources. Here, at last, he can finally and dramatically reveal the philosophies of a man whose work exerts a profound influence on modern society. Hold on to your hat, because the contents of this book will leave you speechless.

From dodgy home haircuts and TikTok dance crazes to banana-bread baking and checkpoint cheek, even in lockdown social media star and comedian Rory O'Connor found plenty of opportunities to keep everyone laughing. Filled with Rory's trademark banter and observational gems, this infectious (!) and hilarious lockdown lookback will make you nostalgic for outdoor dining in the rain and loo roll shortages!

Dorothy Kunhardt's "Pat the Bunny" is a children's classic, with millions of copies sold. It's inspired numerous spin-offs for both kids and adults--but none as wickedly amusing as this clever interactive book Every wife, girlfriend, and woman who hopes to be one will treasure it, and have endless fun playing with the lift-the-flap, touch-and-feel, pull tabs, and other highly designed elements. It slyly questions who wears the pants in the family, and lets women humor their men by removing the Velcro pants from the female figure and putting it on the male. Or, eager to have hubby say yes to your request? Then just use the tab to make his head nod
Since all men are really little boys at heart, what better way to celebrate (okay--roast) their peccadilloes than with a kids' book format? "Pat the Husband" takes amusing aim at the oddities of guys everywhere, making it the perfect gift from girlfriend to girlfriend, as well as for bridal showers and anniversaries. Every wife will recognize the humor in the quirky characteristics played out about "husbands everywhere"--and find a reason every day to sneak a peek and pat