________________________ It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. And Mrs Bennet has five unmarried daughters in want of husbands. Life is fairly uneventful until a promising young man, Mr Bingley, takes the nearby estate of Netherfield Park. And with him comes a handsome friend, whom the ladies see brooding in the corner at the next ball. The dashing Mr Darcy gains the admiration of every lady in the room, until, that is, he refuses to dance with Elizabeth Bennet. As time passes and their acquaintance grows, however, Mr Darcy begins to find Elizabeth's face rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes... Here is a brand new abridgement of the classic Jane Austen novel - this time with a cute, humble and handsome cast of guinea pigs in the starring roles. It's even more dreamy to fall in love with a furry Mr Darcy. 'This may be the definitive version of Pride and Prejudice. If they could get War and Peace down to this length, it would be a service to mankind' Salman Rushdie 'If you're anything like me, you had no idea how much the world needed a furry rodent reenactment of Lizzie and Darcy's love story until one existed' Melissa Albert

Originally published in 1978, this anthology includes facsimile reprints of three novel-length parodies of H. Rider Haggard's fantasy tales: "King Solomon's Wives; or, The Phantom Mines, by "Hyder Ragged" (pseud. of Henry Chartres Biron), 1887; "King Solomon's Treasures," by John De Morgan, 1887; and "Bess: A Companion to Jess," by John De Morgan, 1887.

Anyone who agrees that the hype around the 2012 prophecies needs skewering, and who enjoys penetrating wit served up with a healthy dose of enlightened perspective, will find that 2013 is the essential guide to survival and prosperity when the world ends. Whether that end comes through a meteor impact, a viral pandemic, a changing climate, or simply the wrath of God, N Nosirrah offers a brief escape from the overwhelming terror that can come when facing the end of the world. He explores the end times and world monetary collapse with insights that are undaunted by their self-contradictions, witticism that never lets up, and the promise of multi-level marketing. This is a self-help survival manual cum novella for the reality-challenged, explores the place where profit is made, a place found between our world of fiction and the unseen world of truth, and suggests that it is possible to make a fortune, get enlightened, and laugh uproariously when the world ends. If "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" took you to the edge, 2013 will push you over.

A spoof of H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds.

Born into the litters of two rival families, star-cross'd lovers Romeo and Juliet fall tuft-over-paw for each other before learning that they are sworn enemies. 'O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?' squeaks Juliet from her balcony, before declarations of undying affection are made and a secret wedding is planned. But the path of true love does not run smooth, and Romeo soon finds himself banished from the city of Verona after playing his part in a fatal brawl with Juliet's family. In a desperate attempt to scurry away together, they devise a plan fraught with danger that eventually leads to heart-break...Discover Shakespeare's classic tale of romance and tragedy, retold in an entirely new way.

The Mr. Men have been tickling children for generations with their funny and charming antics. The Mr Men for Grown-Ups series now gives adults the chance to laugh along as the Mr Men and Little Miss try to cope with the very grown-up world around them. Featuring Roger Hargreaves classic artwork alongside hilariously funny new text. Little Miss Lucky is getting married and she wants to keep it simple and dignified, including the hen do. But everyone else has other ideas. Will she survive Little Miss Naughty's antics and make it to her mother's dream wedding on time? The perfect book for any bride-to-be who wonders if they really are the lucky one. Also available in The Mr Men for Grown-Ups series: Little Miss Busy Surviving Motherhood, Mr Grumpy Nails Fatherhood, Mr Greedy Eats Clean to Get Lean, Little Miss Shy Goes Online Dating, Mr Happy and the Office Party.

Fur and fiction combine in this retelling of Charles Dickens's most famous novel, adorably adapted with an all-star cast of guinea pigs. In the misery of a workhouse, a poor, fluffy little orphan called Oliver Twist is fed on nothing but thin air and even thinner gruel. By squeaking a fateful question - 'Please, sir, I want some more' - he unwittingly sparks a series of events that lead him to the smoke and grime of the big city, where he encounters a host of four-legged friends and foes such as the crafty Fagin, mischievous Artful Dodger, faithful Nancy and treacherous Bill Sikes, who sweep young Oliver off of his paws and into the underworld of Victorian London.

A lot of leather has 'plunk-plicked' against willow since cricket was first played on the village greens of Olde England, but this doughty little book heroically manages to capture the true essence of the noble ball game in just 100 run-grabbing moments (plus a few extras for overthrows). This is the story of cricket as it has never been told before: a well tossed-up compilation of surreal match reports, spoof correspondence and quirky cartoons. From a Great Victorian refusing to walk (even though his bails have been knocked off by the bowler) to modern-day sledgers playing floodlit pyjama cricket, the game's towering achievements, hilarious happenings and ludicrous coincidences are entertainingly recalled. The book's title says it all: which other sport would have Silly positions in the field? For those who don't know, silly mid-off (facing the batsman) & silly mid-on (behind him) field within a couple of metres of the man at the crease as he flails at the ball, delivered at 140kmh, using a 1kg wooden bat.

The last 12 months have been the strangest anyone can remember; all our lives have been turned upside down. We were unable to meet and hold our loved ones. Our right to travel at home and abroad was suspended. The contestants on University Challenge had plastic screens between them. But it's comforting to know that amid all the turmoil, some things remained unchanged. And Viz Comic was one of them. And we're determined to bring normality back to all our lives with this, our brand new annual. Viz Comic - The Copper's Torch is the same hefty 226 pages as its predecessors have been for many years. Not only that, but the price remains the same at a paltry GBP12.99. And to further add to the sense of normality, the book is packed full of all the usual stuff, including... *Action packed adventure: The 999 Emergency Bomb Squad, The Adventures of Robin of Sherwood, and high-octane thrills with The Topless Speed Freaks. *Informative features: Everything you need to know about Dragons, the blood and guts story of the Colosseum, the toileting facilities of the Tour de France, and the horror of what happens when pets go big. *Letterbocks, Top Tips, Roger's Profanisaurus and all your favourite cartoon characters. So this Christmas, let The Copper's Torch shine a warming light of happiness and hope into your life, or at least into the life of someone in the tricky GBP10- GBP15 present bracket.

Did Silence of the Lambs leave you reaching for a smooth bottle of dry red wine? After reading The Shining did you have an unaccountable urge to sip a red rum concoction? And did Bram Stoker's Dracula induce a craving for... well, perhaps the less said about that the better. If so, fear not - you are not alone! Chilling Cocktails is a creepy compendium of 50 drinks inspired by the most frightening horror stories ever written. Each delicious recipe is accompanied by dark and compelling facts and anecdotes about the inspiring story, certain to get you in the mood for a cool refreshment. What's more, if you can keep your appetite after reading the grisly details, a selection of complementary snack ideas are also sprinkled throughout. Try pairing 'Dracula's Kiss' with some 'Night of the Living Dead Cheddar Bites'. Or 'Carrie's Prom Punch' with 'Paranormal eggtivity Deviled Eggs'. The perfect gift for the horror and booze fan in your life, Chilling Cocktails is all you need to get the party started for your next horror movie night or Halloween party - just make sure the doors and windows are locked first!

The definitive comedy-writing handbook from one of the genre's most celebrated writers, this easy-to-follow guide lays out a clear system for creating humor that gets big, milk-coming-out-of-your-nose laughs, reliably and repeatably. You'll learn... the three sure-fire ways to generate material the 11 kinds of jokes and how to tell them the secret to permanently overcoming writer's block and many more tips, tricks and techniques

"Teachings of the Cat Zen Masters," by Sheryll Dahlke, is a collection of quotes by famous cats, such as T. Furball, Oscar Wildecat, and many others. Felix Waldo Emerson, for instance, says: "There is a cat-like quality in everything God has made." In these pithy sayings, cats live totally in the moment with full awareness. Like a contradiction, they study the Self to forget the Self. They are centered in balance and in time, completely within the activity of the moment--whether playing with a stone or a butterfly. "This little book is a joyous read. You will be given the powerful, loving freedom for you to be yourself."--Juanita "Catastrophe" Tobin, Poet--Blowing Rock, NC."The enlightened cat is a beautiful thing. We humans can learn a few things from "Teachings of the Cat Zen Masters." Enjoy!"--Rita Bayron, Faithful Feline Follower--Coppell, TX.

Welcome to the weird and warped world of Scarfolk, a town forever trapped in the 1970s... Based on the cult blog, the massive online hit which has over a million page views in a year, this is an illustrated guide to the Lancashire town which brings nightmarish childhood memories relentlessly back to life. Fans of Charlie Brooker, The League of Gentlemen and Brass Eye will love this... WHAT READERS ARE SAYING 'Delicious and hilarious' -- ***** Reader review 'Witty and savage' -- ***** Reader review 'Brutally funny and scarily accurate' -- ***** Reader review 'Marvellously dark and dangerous' -- ***** Reader review *********************************************************************************************** "Scarfolk is a town in north-west England that did not progress beyond 1979. The entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. In Scarfolk children must not be seen OR heard, and everyone has to be in bed by 8 p.m. because they are perpetually running a slight fever..." Part-comedy, part-horror, part-satire, Discovering Scarfolk is the surreal account of a family trapped in the town. Through public information posters, news reports, books, tourist brochures and other ephermera, we learn about the darker side of childhood, school and society in Scarfolk. A massive cult hit online, Scarfolk re-creates with shiver-inducing accuracy and humour our most nightmarish childhood memories. The perfect gift or self-purchase for any forty or fifty-something with a dark sense of humour!