My fellow irrelevant Australians. Never, in the history of our democracy, has Australian political life been in such a parlous state. There are people living in this country who have never seen true political leadership, having been governed in recent times by the dullest, most sanctimonious, hypocritical choir of patsies. This book will give them a woefully overdue idea of what a real leader looks like. Leadership is not like a can of Popeye's spinach - you have to earn it. And earn it I did. And I am going to tell you how. In The Gospel According to Paul, writer and satirist Jonathan Biggins draws on his award-winning play to harness the eviscerating wit, wisdom and confidence of Keating, showing us the evolution of Paul John Keating, from Bankstown to the Lodge and beyond. Almost the autobiography Keating said he would never write, it is a timely reminder of the political leadership we are sorely missing.

Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests. Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long motorway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .

Ireland's Instagram sensation Meditations for the Anxious Mind takes us on a trip around Ireland of the likes you've never seen before, from the trolley-filled Liffey to the glamour of Navan. Ever been curious about Limerick's ancient mysteries or wondered what secrets Drogheda might hold? Well now you can visit the trolleys in the Liffey from the comfort of your armchair and learn the lesser-known facts about Ireland's greatest dumps. Did you know that there's no crime in Stoneybatter, because every time a fixie gets stolen they just say it happened in Cabra? Did you know people from Galway have a genetic defect that makes them think they built Supermacs themselves? Did you know that no one in Cork City can remember anyone's name, which is why Corkonians are either called 'bai', 'kid' or 'girl'? Why not go off the beaten track with Meditations for the Anxious Mind's Toxic Travel Guide and laugh your way around Ireland. We did the research so you don't have to smell the bin juice.

THE PERFECT GIFT for people who ride their Harleys to work while wearing guyliner and winklepickers, even in freezing temperatures. __________________________________ Jason's mid-life crisis started one Sunday morning in B&Q when he spotted a tub of boat varnish. 'I will never own a boat,' he thought to himself. Jason has never wanted to own a boat. But now, not owning one is all he can think about.' __________________________________ 'Sally has tried lots of things to make herself feel younger: running, glamping, Pilates, adult colouring books, a 'mummy make-over,' Bikram planking, Platonic irrigation and having an inappropriate relationship with a rangy twenty-something intern called Zeb, who has three beards and a Lego earring. Sally has given up and is now thinking of joining the National Trust.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

A fascinating and hilarious gallop through twentieth-century British history, by comedian Al Murray. An awful lot has happened in the last 100 years or so. In fact, when you look at how much went on in the 20th century, it's amazing it didn't take longer than that. And what have we learnt? A few obvious lessons include: megalomaniac men with moustaches in charge of countries tend to turn out to be BAD; anyone who thinks they can explain let alone sort out the Middle East is WRONG; France simply cannot be relied upon; America may or may not be the cause of everything GOOD and BAD in the world (depending on who you ask). This isn't your bog-standard history book. We all know that history books (Which Shall Not be Questioned because they ARE ALL TRUE according to our History Teachers of Yore) are dry and dull, and they go on as if there's only ONE version of history (spoiler: it's all about perspective). Enter Al Murray, alter-ego of everyone's favourite Pub Landlord. Al knows his way around 20th century Britain, and he's good enough to illuminate it for you. From the Big Bang of the 20th Century, DOUBLEYOUDOUBLEYOU ONE, to the eve of the new Millennium (when all the computers in the World DIDN'T stop working and the Queen had to do the Hokey Cokey with Tony Blair) and all the forgotten tales in between, this is a brilliantly funny, irreverent and eye-opening whistle-stop tour of Britain since 1914.

Captain's log: We have entered a galaxy where beloved illustrator Jenny Parks has conjured an astonishingly vivid homage to the original Star Trek series with an unexpected twist: a cast of cats. Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes - from Kirk in the Captain's chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom - this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats.

are you the type of person who: - thinks books are quite good - has never held a book before and would like to try holding one for a day - is completely normal and just wants to look at something - is fed up - would rather be dead - is frightened of what tomorrow may bring - is curious - needs a bit of motivation - wants to feel more positive about your life then this is the book for you because the words and pictures inside of this book will instantly make you feel more positive about yourself even after just having a look at them for about a second or 3 seconds what happens to your body when you have no motivation: when you have no motivation it is like a wall of sadness has been built up inside of yourself and it is this wall that stops all of the happy things in the world from getting inside of your body so take my book and use it to break down the wall of sadness brick by brick so that happiness can climb back inside of your body and live there for the rest of your days love from your friend Chris (Simpsons artist) xox

Every young grad needs this fun, snarky primer for the real world. You'll meet the world's brightest, you'll hang with the best! And now that you've met them, you'll work with the rest! If you're looking for an inspirational book for young people starting life's great adventure, you probably want to read Dr. Seuss's Oh, the Places You'll Go! But before your first day of actual work, you need to meet Dr. Suits for a dose of reality. You won't learn this stuff in high school, college, or gift books by world-famous authors. But fear not! With his unique blend of hilarious verse and images, Dr. Suits can help young grads get a handle on what's really about to hit them. Oh, the Meetings You'll Go To! is a brutally honest, and ultimately uplifting, take on the struggles of post-grad life that every 20-something will relate to. Tough love never made you laugh so hard.

Tucked up in bed, President Zuma says goodnight to all the familiar things in his softly lit world. Goodnight to the pictures of his favourite wives, to the Gupta brothers and to the helipad at Nkandla. To everything, one by one, he says goodnight. Generations of children have been lulled to sleep with Margaret Wise Brown’s and illustrator Clement Hurd’s classic bedtime story Goodnight Moon. In 2008, Little Brown US published the New York Times bestseller, Goodnight Bush. It became a runaway bestseller and viral sensation. In 2009 Bush left office. Now it is our turn, with Goodnight Zzzuma! A must-read for anyone still possessing a sense of outrage.

The definitive comedy-writing handbook from one of the genre's most celebrated writers, this easy-to-follow guide lays out a clear system for creating humor that gets big, milk-coming-out-of-your-nose laughs, reliably and repeatably. You'll learn... the three sure-fire ways to generate material the 11 kinds of jokes and how to tell them the secret to permanently overcoming writer's block and many more tips, tricks and techniques

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Ridley Scott’s iconic film Alien, Little White Lies film magazine presents a The Flip Side of Alien, a comic spin on a cult classic. A fleeting yet delightful flipbook experience, The Flip Side of Alien is the physical embodiment of a one-liner – the perfect gift for your sci-fi horror-loving friend. Discover other The Flip Side of… flipbooks by Little White Lies: The Flip Side of Jurassic Park and The Flip Side of Pulp Fiction.

What would Kant's sexts look like? How would Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir break up? What would Confucius think of Tinder? Love Voltaire Us Apart is a hilarious spoof relationship guide with a philosophical edge, made up of philosophers' love letters, advice columns and breakup letters. From Confucius learning the Golden Rules of dating to Simone de Beauvoir considering bangs after breaking up with Jean-Paul Sartre, comedy writer Julia Edelman views the love lives of prominent philosophers through a clever and contemporary lens. She points out that Margaret Fuller is the "Carrie" of transcendentalism, and Nietzsche will always find a way to make a bad breakup infinitely worse. "Getting Meta(Physical)-Who is Your Philosopher Crush?" is the only quiz you'll need to find your soul mate, and "How To Know if Your Man is Writing a Manifesto" will show you how to avoid losing your relationship to imminent revolution. Based on Edelman's New Yorker article, "Excerpts from Philosophers' Breakup Letters Throughout History", Love Voltaire Us Apart is funny, smart, refreshingly original, and brought to life with charming illustrations by Hallie Bateman.

In Drink, Play, F@#k Bob Sullivan, a jilted husband, sets off to explore the world, experience a meaningful connection with the divine, and rediscover his passion. His travels lead him from his home in New York City to a drinking bender across Ireland, through the glitz and glamour that is Las Vegas, and to the hedonistic pleasure palaces of Thailand. After a lifetime of playing it safe, Mr. Sullivan finally follows his heart and lives out everyone's deepest fantasies. For who among us hasn't dreamed of standing stark naked, head upturned, and mouth agape beneath a cascading torrent of Guinness Stout? What could be more exhilarating than losing every penny you have because Charlie Weiss went for a meaningless last-second field goal? And what sensate creature could ever doubt that the greatest pleasure known to man can be found in a leaky bamboo shack filled with glassy-eyed, bruised Asian hookers? Bob Sullivan has a lot to teach us about life. Let's just pray we have the wisdom to put aside our preconceptions and listen. Because what Bob Sullivan finds isn't at all what he expected.

Just in time for the Apocalypse comes a new Biblical scripture from God and thirteen-time Emmy Award-winning comedy writer David Javerbaum. 3,000 years ago, King David wrote The Book of Psalms-hymns in praise of God that became famous worldwide. Now, with humanity on the verge of a self-generated catastrophe, God (with the help of another David) has decided to return, and reverse, the favor. God has collected a cornucopia of insults of the human race in the form of prose, poetry, and parody. From topics as diverse as COVID-19, Trump, racism, abortion, meth, math, and on a lighter note, the platypus, God provides a 21st-century spin on life's many problems. And he's not alone: his son Jesus Christ has contributed thirty sermons of his own, updating some of his Biblical teachings for the modern audience. Even the Holy Ghost stops by to make sure you don't forget him. Anybody who's a fan @TheTweetofGod and/or NOT a fan of the human race is sure to love The Book of Pslams.

A compact, comprehensive, and very silly field guide featuring more than 200 of the rudest birds on earth—from the creator of the Webby Award–winning hit Instagram account!

Effin’ Birds is the most eagerly anticipated new volume in the grand and noble profession of nature writing and bird identification. Sitting proudly alongside Sibley, Kaufman, and Peterson, this book contains more than 150 pages crammed full of classic, monochrome plumage art paired with the delightful but dirty aphorisms (think “I’m going to need more booze to deal with this week”) that made the Effin’ Birds feed a household name. Also included in its full, Technicolor glory is John James Audubon’s most beautiful work matched with modern life advice.

Including never-before-seen birds, insults, and field notes, this guide is a must-have for any effin’ fan or birder.

From the feisty and fabulous "Joan Rivers of the pet influencer community" (Paper Magazine), beloved social media star and canine fashion icon Izzy the Frenchie wittily explains why it's so important we all wear face masks to battle COVID-19. French bulldog and doggy celebrity Izzy loves going out and about just like the rest of us, but she also knows how important it is to be stylish and safe. In Wear the Damn Mask, the four-legged "sassy fashion lover" (Vogue) shows how you can effortlessly be both. Featuring endearing and funny photos of Izzy accompanied by cheeky words of wisdom on when to wear your mask and how to properly social distance, Wear the Damn Mask is a laugh-out-loud, clever read that will help prevent COVID-19 from literally going to the dogs.

With over a quarter million copies in print and six months on The New York Times bestseller list, The Darwin Awards shows that readers crave humor. And what better place to find it than in the stories of those human beings who improve the gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion.

Marvel at the thief who tries to steal live electrical wires. Gape at the lawnchair jockey who floats to a height of 16,000 feet suspended by helium balloons. And learn from the man who peers into a gasoline can using a cigarette lighter. All contend for Darwin Awards when their choices culminate in magnificent misadventures.

These tales of trial and awe-inspiring error-verified by the author and endorsed by website readers-illustrate the ongoing saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory. The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the finest examples of evolution in action, and shows us just how uncommon common sense can be.

The latest no-f**ks-given guide from New York Times bestselling author of the international sensations The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, Get Your Sh*t Together, You Do You, and Calm the F**k Down.

How to stop saying yes when you can't, you shouldn't, or you just don't want to

With 2 million copies sold worldwide, Sarah Knight's bestselling No F*cks Given Guides prove that she's the Queen of No: no to a single extraneous f*ck given, to unwanted obligations, overcommitting, and overcomplicating her life.

For Sarah, saying no is easy. For the rest of us, it's stress-inducing, blood pressure-raising, teeth-grinding hard. But it doesn't have to be. F**k No! is filled with tips, techniques, and practical strategies that will arm you with not only permission to decline, but plenty of ammunition for doing so.

An encyclopedia of examples, a cornucopia of comebacks, a plethora of polite replies: if you're looking to say no (and without being selfish, unlikeable, or mired in missing out), you've come to the right place.

Who is Rampaging Roy Slaven? An Australian icon, a raconteur, an athlete of unsurpassable - and some may say improbable - sporting feats. Whether it was riding Rooting King to another Melbourne Cup victory, commentating the Olympics or hobnobbing with the country's upper crust, Rampaging Roy Slaven has lived an extraordinary life. But even some of the greatest men come from humble beginnings. Before he shot to fame as Australia's most talented sportsman, he was just another kid in Lithgow, trying to avoid Brother Connell's strap and garner the attention of Susan Morgan from the local Catholic girls school. Blessed follows one year in the life of the boy who would become Rampaging Roy Slaven, a boy who, even at the age of fifteen, knew he was destined for greatness but had to get through high school first.

The world of Westminster laid bare in cool, understated prose brimming with irony and complemented by Martin Rowson's sharp, satirical drawings.A brief guide to how democracy works, or fails to work. The big answers to all the questions you should have asked, but never did-but here it is: your guide to democracy, elections, referendums and what lurks in cyber space. The hilarious joint creation of Bob Marshall Andrews, author, barrister, former Labour MP for Medway, thorn in Tony Blair's side and multi award winning cartoonist Martin Rowson.

The story opens with newly married protagonists, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam Darcy, defending their village from an army of flesh-eating unmentionables. But the honeymoon has barely begun when poor Mr. Darcy is nipped by a raging dreadful. Elizabeth knows the only acceptable course of action is to promptly behead her husband (and then burn the corpse, just to be safe). But when she hears rumours of a miracle antidote being developed in London, she realizes there may be one last chance to save her true love - and for everyone to live happily ever after.

From marital bliss to margaritas, wives are awfully wonderful and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions capture everything to love about marriage. The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards. Perfect as a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Mother's Day gift for long-suffering wives everywhere. Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Dad, The Wit and Wisdom of Mum and The Wit and Wisdom of the Husband.