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Four boys. One band. No Chance. Chris and George are best friends, and they want to be rockstars. Unfortunately, a childhood spent playing in the school orchestra and listening to Jimmy Nail has left them a little fluffy around the edges, and at the age of 23, their acoustic duo Satellite doesn't resemble Bon Jovi nearly as much as they'd planned. So how do two ordinary boys from a sleepy village go about taking on the cut-throat world of rock 'n' roll? They're just going to have to fake it. True to life, funny and uplifting, Mockstars is a coming-of-age story about friendship and chasing the rock 'n' roll dream. Inspired by the real-life tour diaries of the author's band The Lightyears, Mockstars is a refreshingly different musical odyssey. Praise for Mockstars: 'Very funny... Induced three inner chuckles and one belly laugh in just over four minutes.' Kevin Sampson, author of Powder 'Finally, a rock 'n' roll novel that people can properly relate to.' Ciaran Jeremiah, The Feeling 'Hilarious - it's The Inbetweeners meets Spinal Tap!' Alex Marsh, author of Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll What readers are saying about Mockstars: '...for all the folk I annoyed the hell out of with explosive laughter and giggling - I recommend that you read this in public and get your own back.' 'A really honest and amusing account of the camaraderie between the band members. A great read, funny yet poignant.' 'The new Bridget Jones brought to life in a male, aspiring rock star from the home counties. Littered in equal measure with laugh out loud and hide under the covers, did he really write that?, moments.' 'Very, very funny book. I had to stop reading it on the train as I was in a quiet compartment.' 'If Richard Curtis and Douglas Adams got together and wrote a book about a struggling rock-band you'd get this. Fast paced, brimming with charm and frankly hilarious. I laughed so hard I coughed tea through my nose and nearly ruined my iPad.'
WINNER: NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC TRAVELLER READER AWARD FOR BEST TRAVEL BOOK OF THE YEAR 2016 WINNER: BOOKS ARE MY BAG READER AWARD FOR BEST AUTOBIOGRAPHY OR BIOGRAPHY 2016 Twenty years ago, Bill Bryson went on a trip around Britain to celebrate the green and kindly island that had become his adopted country. The hilarious book that resulted, Notes from a Small Island, was taken to the nation's heart and became the bestselling travel book ever, and was also voted in a BBC poll the book that best represents Britain.Now, to mark the twentieth anniversary of that modern classic, Bryson makes a brand-new journey round Britain to see what has changed. Following (but not too closely) a route he dubs the Bryson Line, from Bognor Regis to Cape Wrath, by way of places that many people never get to at all, Bryson sets out to rediscover the wondrously beautiful, magnificently eccentric, endearingly unique country that he thought he knew but doesn't altogether recognize any more. Yet, despite Britain's occasional failings and more or less eternal bewilderments, Bill Bryson is still pleased to call our rainy island home. And not just because of the cream teas, a noble history, and an extra day off at Christmas. Once again, with his matchless homing instinct for the funniest and quirkiest, his unerring eye for the idiotic, the endearing, the ridiculous and the scandalous, Bryson gives us an acute and perceptive insight into all that is best and worst about Britain today.
This novelty Star Wars book is full of wise words and sage advice from the galaxy's leading rebel, Princess Leia, and many other brave, confident characters. Full of Star Wars quotes, witty advice and stills from the iconic films, this book will help with everything from starting a revolution to succeeding at life in a galaxy of mindless stormtroopers.
General. Senator. Princess. Rebel. Feminist icon. Leia Organa is a legendary Star Wars symbol of what it means to stand up for yourself and fight for what you believe in - no matter the personal cost. As the figurehead of the Rebellion and Resistance, and a prime example of an individual succeeding in a tyrannical workplace, Leia's name is synonymous with courage, grit and conviction. Whether she is refusing to comply with Darth Vader's demands, evading the wrathful clutches of the Empire or rescuing her friends from the Death Star, Leia is not afraid to challenge those in positions of authority and power. Filled with inspiring advice from Leia and other heroes - Rey, Padmé, Yoda, Obi-Wan, Jyn and many more - this book provides thoughtful and funny reflections on independence, staying true to yourself and challenging the status quo.
The perfect gift for a Star Wars fan, Star Wars: Be More Leia is a humorous guide to rebellion, leadership and activism, featuring iconic moments from the Star Wars movies alongside key advice for life.
© & TM 2019 LUCASFILM LTD.
The perfect gift book for the power hungry (and who doesn't want power?) at an excellent price. The Concise Edition of an international bestseller. At work, in relationships, on the street or on the 6 o'clock news: the 48 Laws apply everywhere. For anyone with an interest in conquest, self-defence, wealth, power or simply being an educated spectator, The 48 Laws of Power is one of the most useful and entertaining books ever. This book 'teaches you how to cheat, dissemble, feign, fight and advance your cause in the modern world.' (Independent on Sunday) The distilled wisdom of the masters - illustrated through the tactics, triumphs and failures from Elizabeth I to Henry Kissinger on how to get to the top and stay there. Wry, ironic and clever this is an indispensable and witty guide to power. The laws are now famous:- Law 1: Never outshine the master Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends; learn how to use enemies Law 3: Conceal your intentions Law 4: Always say less than necessary
Just in time for Brexit, the sequel to the Sunday Times bestselling Cold War Steve Presents... The Festival of Brexit: an absurdist journey through a world that seems to have slipped the moorings of reality As the UK takes the leap into the dark with Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, Cold War Steve Presents... A Prat's Progress takes you on a coach trip from hell that trundles through a dystopian wasteland under Boris's rule. A pitch-perfect and timely piece of satire, it will provide a much needed escape from a world that seems to have not only slipped its moorings from reality but is being steered recklessly towards a 'No Deal' precipice.
Fowl Language: Welcome to Parenting is here to let you know that you're not alone. Parenting is hard and often gross. Laughing about it helps. If you liked Toddlers Are A**holes, you'll love Fowl Language! Parenting can be a magical journey full of bliss and wonder . . . if you're on the right meds. For the rest of us, it's another thing altogether. Fowl Language Comics takes an unvarnished look at the tedium and aggravation of parenting, while never forgetting that the reason we put up with those little jerks is that we love them so damn much. By poking fun at the daily struggles parents face, these cartoons help all of us feel less alone in our continual struggle to stay sane.
A rib-cracking collection of the best stories of disaster, embarrassment, and sheer bad luck. You know those stories you hear once a year - the friend's brother whose holiday prank went hilariously wrong and landed him less amusingly in hospital, the colleague's neighbour who got locked out of his hotel room in his underpants in the middle of the night? Not enough accident-prone friends or can't wait for the next juicy slip-up story? FHM, the UK's best-selling men's magazine, is dedicated to preserving these gems of comedy. Every month the magazine publishes the best true tales heard across the land. And here, collected in one volume for the first time, are over 500 of the most hilarious, each one chronicling the humiliation of an FHM reader for future generations. FHM True Stories is illustrated with a selection of stylish but quirky cartoons to make this your must-have pocket book of laughs at other people's expense, satisfying the vicarious sadist in all of us. The strangest things can go wrong in the funniest way - hopefully to someone else!
You don’t have to do everything on the list to live your best life.
A rallying cry for everyone tired of keyboard commandos and people who use speakerphones in open plan offices, The Jackass Whisperer is your guide to dealing with the worst people on earth. Jackasses are those who make our lives needlessly harder. They drive too slowly in the fast lane and too quickly in the slow lane, reply all, heat up fish in the microwave at work and share way too much information about their cleanse on Facebook. They live in our homes, work in our offices and shop at our stores. Jackasses are among us, and we have some bad news for you: if you can't spot the Jackass at the (enter literally any place on the planet), then the Jackass is you. After a lifetime of research, Scott and Alison Stratten offer the definitive guide to surviving the Jackassery in your life and making the world a better place, one set of noise-cancelling headphones at a time.
One day the last cigarette on earth will be smoked. One final puff will be sent heaven-bound, leaving a lingering, evanescent smoke-ring. Then nothing but pure, clear space. And the wise of this world will rejoice. Because logic demands that mankind is rid of this pernicious poison. And wasn't that well-known logician Adolf Hitler the most virulent opponent of cigarette smoking in the last century? Logic tells us cigarettes are bad for our health: this accounts for the diseased visions of Pablo Picasso who smoked cigarettes until his death at the age of 92.'
Packed with witty career advice for budding entrepreneurs, this Star Wars self-help book is full of brilliant business advice and funny quotes from Lando Calrissian and other Star Wars characters.
As the galaxy's resident wheeler-dealer, Lando has lots of useful advice for the business novice. If you're setting up a start-up and want to know how to win over investors, when to back away from a deal, or how to gamble away the fastest starship in the galaxy, this is the book for you! With additional tips from other galactic scoundrels, including Han Solo, Jabba the Hutt, Watto, Qi'ra and even some sound business advice from Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, you'll be well and truly equipped to grow your amazing new venture and win at life!
The perfect gift for colleagues and friends alike, Star Wars: Be More Lando is a tongue-in-cheek guide to winning over heroes and influencing droids. It features favourite moments from the ?Star Wars movies alongside hilarious advice and fitting ?Star Wars? quotes.
© & TM 2019 LUCASFILM LTD.
Finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize From the man who Oliver Sacks hailed as "one of the best scientist/writers of our time," a collection of sharply observed, uproariously funny essays on the biology of human culture and behavior. In the tradition of Stephen Jay Gould and Oliver Sacks, Robert Sapolsky offers a sparkling and erudite collection of essays about science, the world, and our relation to both. "The Trouble with Testosterone" explores the influence of that notorious hormone on male aggression. "Curious George's Pharmacy" reexamines recent exciting claims that wild primates know how to medicate themselves with forest plants. "Junk Food Monkeys" relates the adventures of a troop of baboons who stumble upon a tourist garbage dump. And "Circling the Blanket for God" examines the neurobiological roots underlying religious belief. Drawing on his career as an evolutionary biologist and neurobiologist, Robert Sapolsky writes about the natural world vividly and insightfully. With candor, humor, and rich observations, these essays marry cutting-edge science with humanity, illuminating the interconnectedness of the world's inhabitants with skill and flair.
From the toilet etiquette experts who brought you the global game-changer How to Poo at Work comes an equally essential guide: How to Fart at Work. Anyone who has ever worked in an office, or indeed any other enclosed space, has at one time or another been confronted with this gut-wrenching problem. Fortunately, Mats & Enzo have spent years studying this fragrant issue, occasionally putting themselves in highly dangerous situations armed only with a single gas mask for protection. With informative illustrations to help elucidate their findings, How to Fart at Work is a practical guide to solving every gaseous situation you might find yourself in. Whether you smelt it or you dealt it, Mats & Enzo's expert advice will allow you to not only smooth your way through any smelly moments, but they will even teach you how to further your career with flatulence!
For years, you wanted to be treated like a proper adult, but now you are on a downhill slippery slope to a grand old age and you can't seem to find the brakes. You need survival skills: Don't compare yourself to the Botox-happy celebrities who are your age - wear your lines with pride. Do remember where your glasses/keys are to avoid raised eyebrows from family members. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your latter years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Lesson no.1: Believe in yourself. 'I'm six foot four, an all-American guy, and handsome and talented as well!' Everyone knows you don't hassel the Hoff. But what else can we learn from the paragon of style, sophistication and swagger that is David Hasselhoff? It turns out, you can learn a lot - and not just about how to be an excellent life guard by running in slo-mo down the beach, or how to fight crime with a robot car. With this collection of the Hoff's wittiest quotes and most enlightening mantras for life, you can channel his unshakeable self-belief, his sunny optimism and his unfaltering good humour for yourself. Be cool: be more Hoff.
Did you know...? Russia sold Alaska to the US for just $7.2 million in 1867 Alexander the Great failed to name an heir to his vast empire before he died, which subsequently led to its fall J. K. Rowling received several rejections from publishers before her first Harry Potter book hit the shelves We all do stupid things in our lives, but the events in this book are next-level ridiculous! Packed with trivia and information on the world's biggest fails in history, this book will leave you shocked and a little smug as you discover the true meaning of the word 'cock-up'.
Adulting (verb): To do grown-up things and hold responsibilities such as having a job, paying rent or doing laundry. A verb used exclusively by those who adult less than 50 per cent of the time. If you've forgotten to pay your council tax, you're hungover at work (again) and you've been living off pesto pasta for the past seventeen days, it's time to adult. Authentic grown-up Stephen Wildish has produced a book for everyone who feels they need assistance getting through the confusing landscape of the real world.
You know what? It's super creepy to kiss a woman who is unconscious. And you know what else? The way out of poverty isn't by marrying a rich dude--or by wearing fragile footwear, for that matter. And while we're at it, why is the only woman who lives with seven men expected to do the cooking, cleaning, and laundry? Fairytales need a reboot and comedy queens Laura Lane and Ellen Haun are the women to do it. In Cinderella and the Glass Ceiling, they offer a rollicking parody of classic (read: patriarchal) tales that turns sweet, submissive princesses into women who are perfectly capable of being the heroes of their own stories. Mulan climbs the ranks in the army but wages a different war when she finds out she's getting paid less than her fellow male captains, Wendy learns never to trust a manboy stalking her window, Sleeping Beauty's prince gets a lesson in consent, and more. Busting with laugh-out-loud, razor-sharp twists to these outdated tales, Cinderella and the Glass Ceilingis fun, magical, necessary and totally woke.
Tim Nyberg, author of the hilarious, definitive guide to practical jokes, is back with "The Practical Joker's Handbook: The Sequel." This compendium of all-new practical jokes is a wild, diabolical follow-up to the original.
Like "The Practical Joker's Handbook," this sequel is built upon contributions submitted to his Web site from Nyberg's fans.
Of course, the entertaining Nyberg has sifted though his warped fans' merciless suggestions to weed out the dangerous, the mean-spirited, and the potentially litigious. As Nyberg says in the book's introduction, it's only a good practical joke if "both parties (eventually) find humor in the prank."
"The Practical Joker's Handbook: The Sequel" is a sly collection of blueprints for jokes and pranks to play at home, at work, at school, at the office--anywhere.
Air travel may be crazy on the ground, but what's it like at 35,000 feet? How safe are you when you fly? Is airport security as good as they claim? How common is the Mile High Club? This revealing book answers these and many other questions that expose all the warts and blemishes of air travel.
Santa was coming! 'Twas bigger than big! But no-one was feeling more festive than PIG! No one loves Christmas more than Pig. And the world's greediest Pug will stay up all night to get his presents! Another laugh-out-loud book filled with holiday cheer, from the award-winning creator of PIG THE PUG.
Down in the forest . . . creak, snap, BUMP! A pinecone falls to the ground. Good Wolf is thrilled with his new toy . . . until Bad Bird steals it from him. But there's a twist in this tale: with a bit of quick thinking, Wolf not only nabs his pinecone back - he gets a tasty Bad-Bird snack as well! Much-loved illustrator Sharon Rentta has developed a dramatic and eye-catching new style for her latest picture book. Featuring superb black-and-white pencil drawings with dramatic spot colour, MINE! is a wickedly funny, Tom-and-Jerry-style caper.
Kevin Kling's first book, The Dog Says How, brought readers into his wonderful world of the skewed and significant mundane. Kling does it again in Kevin Kling's Holiday Inn, a romp through a yearful of holidays and a lifetime of gathering material. A wiener dog with an amazing capacity for destruction impresses the whole family and contributes to their collection of favourite disastrous Christmas stories. A Choctaw and a nun go trick-or-treating on Halloween. A boy makes a frightening decision every year when he chooses which classmate gets the "Be Mine" Valentine. Kevin takes his mom to a Fourth of July demolition derby -- and then he takes an epic trip around the bases at a ball game on Memorial Day. From tomfoolery with his brother in the backseat of their dad's car through his carefully considered instructions for ice fishing, Kling never loses the spirit of his story or holds back on its humour.
By turns uproarious and touching, the memoir of a young woman's search for an orgasm--and for the elusive connections between sex and love
Twenty-six-year-old Mara Altman wanted to know what all the screaming was about. She'd lost her virginity at seventeen; grown up in southern California with sexually free parents; had lovers in India, Burma, and Peru; and spent a year in Bangkok observing all manner of depravity. And yet she was an attractive, successful, single woman in New York who'd never had an orgasm.
And so she embarked on a wildly funny, emotionally resonant odyssey--a journey both inside and outside herself--only to discover that, for Mara, orgasm was connected to a part of her that no vibrator could reach. "Thanks for Coming" is one woman's look at our obsession with and anxiety over the female orgasm. Her quest to get her own yields poignant results that will surprise even the sexually awakened among us. From sex shows to sex conventions, from a therapist's couch to her own couch, from the bedroom to the bar, Mara Altman proves to be a guide as hilarious as she is investigative.
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