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This is Limmy's second book. It's a whole load of new, odd, and hilariously grim short stories. Tom is in a soft play with his daughters. He's bored. He's so bored he can move things with his mind. A man fills up a mate's biscuit tin without ever telling him, to see what happens. Maggie's boyfriend Iain bought a curtain. It keeps attacking them. She wants it out the house. A man is sitting in his wheelie bin at two in the morning, and he wants to tell you why. Kenny's mate Scott is suicidal and ridden with guilt. Kenny takes him on holiday to Benidorm. It'll be some laugh. Praise for Daft Wee Stories: `The comedy book of the year.' - Time Out `Funny, peculiar and original.' - Guardian `Didn't realise pieces of paper with no pictures on could be so funny. I mean I was cryin' all day yesterday into this book. Hilarious' - Someone on Amazon
A Ton of Crap 2021 Daily Calendar provides a daily refresher of things that you've probably forgotten but definitely should know. Get ready for a digestible re-education of all the sh*t you probably learned, but most likely forgot. With A Ton of Crap 2021 Daily Calendar, you'll be schooled on history, language arts, math, science, and foreign language. Forget the purpose of semicolons? No worries. Have a problem remembering what the Wright Brothers invented? We got you covered. Over the course of the year, you can brush up on Pi, Cro-Magnons, the fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm, the solar system, and much, MUCH more crap. Maybe this time you'll remember!
Awwww, the old days. A time when grime were fashionable, school sports a menace and exotic holidays were anywhere you couldn't cycle to. Take a nostalgic trip back to a time before risk assessment and child welfare, when teachers could belt you over the backside with any hard object smaller than a kettle, and kids could buy fireworks and light casual bonfires. Jam-packed with photos that could be never taken today. Children pose on walls, lean out of high-speed fairground rides and sit happily in the middle of road junctions.
Such was the power of the BEAUTY INSIDE her that Winter turned to Spring in her path and flowers grew in her footsteps. Edward Monkton's verse dedicated to an extraordinary woman, whose incredible gift was to radiate beauty from within... perfect for Mother's Day. Edward Monkton books are highly collectable and stylish gifts- at home on a coffee table, in the bathroom, in quiet places, and perfect for giving to a loved one or for keeping for yourself. This is a charming portrait of an amazing woman, whose inner beauty turned Winter into Spring. A lovely, lyrical story, The Lady who was Beautiful Inside celebrates those who deserve praise most. Each book in this new series is an original story, charmingly illustrated, and created especially for this brand-new series of gift books. Hand-lettered in the same style as the Edward Monkton cards by the Really Good company, the tales are wonderfully packaged with the utmost style and attention to detail to make these hugely desirable objects and perfect gifts for special occasions. These creations prove there is a universal and enduring audience for stories that inspire and touch hearts. Their philosophy is to heal, unite, amuse and delight in equal measures.
A witty and informative A-Z guide to French words and phrases borrowed by the English, presented in giftbook format.Boudoir n. - a lady's sitting or dressing-room, often today wrongly used to denote a bedroom. In fact, a boudoir, derived from the French bouder - to pout or sulk - means a 'sulking room', a place where a woman may engage in prolonged emotional blackmail in considerable comfort. In common English usage since 1777.
As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, MAN UP! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!
This humorous and heartfelt parody of a childhood classic is an
instantly relatable tale about searching for love--and letting it
"Phil Callaway seasons our lives with joy and laughter drawn from the deep well of living. Splash through this book and see if you're not refreshed. I double-dog dare you." -Chris Fabry,New York Times bestselling author and host of Chris Fabry Live Laughter is a windshield wiper. It won't stop the rain, but it will keep you going. Life was funnier when we were five. Grownups tripped on a rake and we laughed for hours. Then came headlines and deadlines. Downturns and disappointments. Laugh Like a Kid Again is for anyone who wonders amid pressing anxieties-who stole my joy? From the tender to the hilarious, these lighthearted stories will help you smile. You'll encounter a prodigal dog, an incoming tornado, an unexpected afternoon in prison, and where to go when you have nine minutes to live. You'll hear whispers of a God who... loves you more than you imagine holds your hand when you're handed more than you can handle does awesome work in the dark Whether you face dark times or just need a good laugh, this "masterpiece of joy" will show you how to leave a lasting legacy, look up, and laugh again.
An inspiring, hilarious memoir about learning to resist the pressures of conformity, love yourself for who you are, and unlock your true potential. Now cohost of Fox's The Real and SiriusXM's Caf? Mocha, Loni Love hasn't taken the typical path to becoming America's favorite straight-talking girlfriend. She was not the child of Hollywood legends and she never wore a size 00. Rather, she grew up in housing projects in Detroit, more worried about affording her next meal than going on a diet. When she moved to Hollywood after college, seeking to break out in the entertainment world, there was nothing that would convince her to eat the kale salads and quinoa bowls that her colleagues introduced her to, which looked to Love like 'weeds my grandma used to pay me a dollar to pull from her yard.' Still, despite the differences that set her apart in the status-driven world of entertainment where being thin, young, blond and bubbly is sometimes considered a talent, Love spent years trying to fit in -- styling her hair just so, dieting, dating the men she thought she was supposed to be with. In this book, she tells the uproariously funny story of how she overcame the trap of self-improvement and instead learned to embrace who she was. As Love writes, 'There's a saying a lot of people live by: 'Fake it till you make it.' For me, it's always been 'fake it, and then have the whole thing blow up in your face.'' I Tried to Change So You Don't Have To explores all of the embarrassing mistakes, terrifying challenges, and unexpected breakthroughs that taught her how, by committing ourselves to our own path, we can take control of our destiny.
JP Duminy (1897-1980) was the only university professor to play cricket for South Africa. He was also the first alumnus of UCT to become Vice Chancellor and the first non-American to be elected a First Vice President of Rotary International. In this book, his son Andrew writes about his life and his distinguished career. Using diaries and private papers in the family's possession, he portryas his father as someone known for his good humour, clear-thinking and fair mindedness. In the words fo a senior academic who knew him well, he thought "dispassionately and fearlessly acted upon what he found to be true and in the best interests of the institution which he served".
Walking sticks have had a bad press. For too long the walking stick has been portrayed as a workaday item of codgerism, a simple support for the aged and infirm. This is not the case. Possession of a walking stick opens up a whole gamut of opportunities beyond the simple 'leaning against' purpose. In 49 Uses for A Walking Stick Frank Hopkinson explains the variety of practical uses a walking stick can be put to, from flicking filthy slugs off a lawn and parting crowds to alerting a theatre-goer two rows in front that his rapid consumption of fruit bonbons is ruining everyone's enjoyment. Illustrated throughout, the book also includes a miscellany of walking stick trivia, facts and figures and fun information.
The first volume, a legal humour edited by Professor Kahn, Law, Life and Laughter published in 1991 was the subject of many favourable reviews. It went through three impressions, was sold out years ago and today is a collector's item. This second melange of legal humour and piquant revelations of personalities in the law of Southern Africa is almost entirely new, containing nothing that appeared in the first volume except a number of brilliant caricatures of which the temptation to reproduce was irresistible.
Six women. Four weeks. One house. Who will be left on The Shelf?
Everyone in Amy's life seems to be getting married (or so Instagram tells her), and she feels like she's falling behind. So, when her boyfriend surprises her with a dream holiday to a mystery destination, she thinks this is it - he's going to finally pop the Big Question. But the dream turns into a nightmare when she finds herself on the set of a Big Brother-style reality television show, The Shelf.
Along with five other women, Amy is dumped live on TV and must compete in a series of humiliating and obnoxious tasks in the hope of being crowned 'The Keeper'. Will Amy's time on the show make her realise there are worse things in life than being left on the shelf?
A funny, feminist and all-too-relatable novel about our obsession with coupling up, settling down and the battle we all have with accepting ourselves, The Shelf introduces the freshest new voice in women's fiction.
There is no getting away from it - the undisputed king of the comb-over Donald J. Trump is the 45th President of the USA. Love him? Step away from this book immediately. Loathe him? Read on. Through a series of playfully mindful exercises we will come to terms with the grief over this most shocking of election results. We will make no denials about Trump's presidency, we will sit with our anger, we will put a pin in our depression and we will embrace the next four years (please God - only four!) with the open palms of acceptance. We shall over-comb. Written and illustrated by the team that brought you the bestselling The Brexsh*t Book, What the Trump?! will be your one and only guide to surviving The Donald, publishing just in time for his inauguration on January 20th 2017.
THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Your ultimate guide to the art of winning arguments Everyone is always trying to persuade us of something: politicians, advertising, the media, and most definitely our families. Thank You for Arguing is your master class in the art of persuasion, taught by professors ranging from Bart Simpson to Winston Churchill. With all the wisdom of the ages, from classical oratory to contemporary politics and pop-culture, Thank You For Arguing shows you how to win more than your fair share of arguments, as well as: >How to shine at work, avoid speeding tickets, and outwit argumentative partners >Cicero's secrets to moving an audience, Donald Trump's savvy speechmaking, the art of giving a TED talk >Tactics like Setting Your Goals, Making Them Like You, Gaining the High Ground >Defuse an angry accuser and benefit from your own mistakes >The art of rhetoric, from eloquence and friendship to wit and irrefutable logic Written by one of today's most popular online language experts, Thank You For Arguing is brimming with time-tested rhetorical tips and persuasion techniques that will change your life. And that's not hyperbole.
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