From the fevered and alien parasite-infested mind of Reddit D-Lister Top_Gorilla17 comes the first volume of his tales of scum, villainy, and perhaps if you buy him enough slippery nipples, a bit of ribaldry! Behold this whimsical and disturbing peek into the psyche of the self-described Emperor of Iowa, and his many adventures, most of which really happened! Bear literary witness to the time he farted on a duly elected government official! Chortle with rapturous glee as he recounts the time he broke all ten of the commandments of the Hebrew God! Shift your weight uncomfortably as you find out, quite against your will, precisely what he means by the phrase 'Hot dogging'! So don't be caught in that airplane lavatory reading yet another Dan Patterson novel, you weenie! Instead, read the critically-ignored 'Top Gorilla's Tales Of Scum And Villainy,' which Top_Gorilla's girlfriend was heard describing as "Pretty good, I guess."

- LET'S BOUNCE! Slip the two "legwarmers" onto your fingers and hop onto the 2-7/8" mini trampoline - INCLUDES MINI BOOK: Box also includes a 32-page, 2-1/2" x 3" guide on fun, effective Finger Bounce moves and exercises for tired or out-of-shape fingers - FUN AT HOME OR THE OFFICE: Take a reprieve from a stressful workday or your hectic schedule with a rejuvenating finger workout! - GREAT WHITE ELEPHANT GIFT: Everyone will love this fun, silly, hilarious gift!

Now you can finally discover what your four-legged friend is trying to tell you, with help from this hilarious fully illustrated book When you look into those big, gorgeous puppy-dog eyes, it sometimes seems all too obvious what your dog is thinking - namely, I love you. But there's more to dogs than meets the eye, and after delving deep into pup psychology we can now reveal the real thoughts behind those adorable faces. You'll find out: what's going on behind those big brown eyes when your pooch is desperately begging for food why they insist on digging holes in your pristine lawn what they really think about trips to the V.E.T. their insightful opinions on the cone of shame why they love to chase moving vehicles what they make of your cutesy nicknames This charming and fully illustrated book is the perfect gift for any dog lover, or anyone who has ever said the words, "I wish I knew what you were thinking!"