'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

The perfect gift for Christmas! Hundreds of hilarious and hypothetical questions for anyone aged 6 to 106 who's obsessed with the heroes and villains from movies, legends and comic books. Would you rather have web shooters or Thor's hammer? Would you rather take the Hulk or Venom home to meet your family? And would you rather wear Iron Man's suit to the beach or to bed?! The perfect brain-stretcher for anyone bored home alone, off on a long journey or looking for an easy party game, The Bumper Book of Would You Rather?: Heroes and Villains Edition is guaranteed to provide hours of entertainment this Christmas.

Have some fun with your native tongue!

In The Cunning Linguist, renowned language expert Richard Lederer shows us the naughtier side of wordplay, revealing hundreds of hilarious, ingenious, unabashed, and adults-only puns, jokes, limericks, one-liners, and other adventures in sexual humor. This book of "good, clean dirty fun" will delight word hounds, punsters, bachelor-party goers, and anyone who likes a clever grown-up joke.

Here's a taste of The Cunning Linguist:

Q: What does a man have in his pants that you can also find on a pool table?
A: Pockets.

Have you heard about the incompatible couple?
He had no income, and she wasn't pattable.

The four stages of a couple's sex life:
Under 35: Tri-weekly
35-45: Try weekly
45-55: Try weakly
55 and over: Try, try, try.

For much more, sneak between the covers of this unique and laugh-out-loud book.

THE NEW COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES Q: What do cars spread on their toast? A: Traffic jam. The hit Instagram page @DadSaysJokes returns with an all-new batch of hilarious dad jokes to share with friends and family. Back by popular demand, with hundreds of gags for every occasion, Dad Jokes: The Priceless Edition is the perfect gift for Father's Day, birthdays, Christmastime and beyond. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with over 5 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme Instagram page @Pubity with its 31 million followers. This is his fifth book.

What did the poo say to the fart? You blow me away! Full to the brim with obscene one-liners, gross-out gags and smutty shenanigans, this book should be your number one - and number two - choice for lav-based laughs.

This sparkling collection of golden age wit and wisdom is proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering granddads just aren't true anymore - if, indeed, they ever were. Senior citizens are not going gentle into that good night. They're still out there, living life to the full, taking selfies, 'silver surfing' the net and showing the rest of us how to grow up and grow old disgracefully. Because as Maurice Chevalier said, 'Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.' This is a joke book specifically designed for oldies, so look out you young whippersnappers - you probably won't get half of them!

Capitalising on developments in the field over the past decade, Riddles at work provides an up-to-date microcosm of research on the early medieval riddle tradition. The book presents a wide range of traditional and experimental methodologies. The contributors treat the riddles both as individual poems and as parts of a tradition, but, most importantly, they address Latin and Old English riddles side-by-side, bringing together texts that originally developed in conversation with each other but have often been separated by scholarship. Together, the chapters reveal that there is no single, right way to read these texts but rather a multitude of productive paths. This book will appeal to students and scholars of early medieval studies. It contains new as well as established voices, including Jonathan Wilcox, Mercedes Salvador-Bello and Jennifer Neville. -- .

'Puerile, reprehensible and very, very funny' Adam Kay 'I love Fesshole. Every single one is a masterclass in storytelling' Jay Rayner 'Hilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like' David Schneider 'The wild, the wonderful, the frankly unbelievable and the downright disgusting. Under the anonymity of the internet people confess their most embarrassing secrets and it might not be good for their souls, but it's great for the readers!' Richard K Herring It's confession time, folks! Things have been building up inside of you for too long. Secrets you thought you'd never share with another soul are bubbling to the surface begging for release. And where better to let it all out (/laugh at someone else's misfortune) than on the internet. Fesshole is a Twitter account (@fesshole) which allows people to anonymously confess their innermost thoughts, deepest, darkest secrets, and their most outrageously funny faux pas - but will the online world absolve you of your sins? This book contains the greatest confessions to date, and a whole heap of new ones. After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?

THE FIRST COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES From the most-followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes, comes a collection of hilariously cheesy jokes that will leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. This is the perfect gift for dads who want to expand their repertoire and anyone who fancies reminiscing about a childhood full of these no-nonsense 'bad' puns. Here are a couple of tasters: Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose. Q: Are you today's date? A: Cuz you're 10/10.

Dad Jokes: the good, the bad, and the terrible, a perfect gift for dads and pun-lovers alike! With over 600 knee-slappers, head-shakers, and groan-makers, Dad Jokes is packed with enough witty quips and cheesy-but-grate jokes for even the most embarrassing of dads. Perfect for the father experts, new dads, and all the fathers-to-be, this is the ideal funny gift from any daughter, son, wife, or partner that celebrates how great (terrible) their jokes truly are! But remember-you don't have to be a dad to tell dad jokes! Be prepared for the obvious, silly, and awkward in this massive collection of the best groan-worthy dad jokes around, including clever quips, overly literal dialogue, and punny one-liners. Great for Father's Day, Christmas, white elephant, birthdays, and more! These jokes may be on porpoise, but they whale definitely make you laugh: I used to hate facial hair, but then it started growing on me. "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me." I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! Q: What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? A: The road.

Delve into the magical world of unicorns in this new illustrated book, filled with questions, facts, jokes and more! Release your inner unicorn with this hilarious new ‘would you rather’ book! Bursting with funny, interactive questions, silly jokes and facts for 6+ kids, this brilliant book will keep the whole family entertained for hours. Would you rather grow sparkly hooves for feet or a flowing unicorn tail? Would you rather fart rainbows for a month or neigh whenever you burp for a week? Laugh-out-loud illustrations bring unicorns to life, and will draw in even the most reluctant readers. In the same series, Christmas Would You Rather (9780008524425) offers some seasonal fun!

The iconic Instagram page @DadSaysJokes returns with a fresh batch of dad jokes to share with your nearest and dearest. With cringeworthy gags for every occasion, Dad Jokes: The Laugh-out-loud Edition is the perfect gift for Father's Day, birthdays, Christmastime and beyond. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with nearly 6 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme Instagram page @Pubity with over 31 million followers. This is his sixth book.

We're not implying anything but... It's time for a bit of no-nonsense advice in the form of some choice expletive-laden life lessons. This small but f*cking mighty tome is just the tonic to set you on the path to being an awesome human, and will teach YOU how not to be a D*CK.

Funny, fearless and absolutely filthy-nearly 3,000 more uncensored, dirty, sick, and deeply politically incorrect jokes, covering just about every topic imaginable, from adultery to (sex in) Zoos, including an assortment of bad taste lists. A worthy, all-new follow-on to the first bestselling volume.

Where the Sidewalk Ends turns forty To celebrate this anniversary of Shel Silverstein's outrageous and profound classic poetry collection, the jacket features an eye-catching commemorative red sticker. This special edition, with twelve extra poems, was first published in 2004 and is a timeless bestseller.

Where the sidewalk ends, Shel Silverstein's world begins. There you'll meet a boy who turns into a TV set and a girl who eats a whale. The Unicorn and the Bloath live there, and so does Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout who will not take the garbage out. It is a place where you wash your shadow and plant diamond gardens, a place where shoes fly, sisters are auctioned off, and crocodiles go to the dentist.

Shel Silverstein's masterful collection of poems and drawings is one of Parent & Child magazine's 100 Greatest Books for Kids. School Library Journal said, "Silverstein has an excellent sense of rhythm and rhyme and a good ear for alliteration and assonance that make these poems a pleasure to read aloud."

Shel Silverstein's incomparable career as a children's book author and illustrator began with Lafcadio, the Lion Who Shot Back. In 1964, Shel's creativity continued to flourish as four more books were published in the same year--Don't Bump the Glump , A Giraffe and a Half, Who Wants a Cheap Rhinoceros?, and the beloved classic The Giving Tree. Later he continued to build his remarkable body of work with Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, Falling Up, Every Thing On It, The Missing Piece, The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, and Runny Babbit.

Supports the Common Core State Standards.

The Bumper Book of Would You Rather?: Heroes and Villains Edition and The Bumper Book of Would You Rather?: Princes and Princesses Edition are out now! Stuck at home on a rainy day or heading off on a long journey? Need something fun and engaging to occupy you, your kids or your whole family? Then get stuck into these 350 ridiculous, mind-boggling and hilarious hypothetical questions! Would you rather always have wet hair or always have wet feet? Would you rather live in a lighthouse on an island or a treehouse in a rainforest? Would you rather give the stranger on the bus next to you GBP1 million or receive GBP50,000 yourself? And would you rather chew someone else's chewing gum . . . or drink someone else's backwash??? The perfect brain-stretcher for anyone aged 6 to 106, The Bumper Book of Would You Rather? is guaranteed to provide you with HOURS of entertainment. Don't miss these other great titles from Sphere Books: ** Distract Yourself: 101 Positive Things to Do and Learn Whilst You Stay Home ** ** Home Sweet Home: The Little Book of Natural Cleaning ** ** Shelf Respect: A Book Lovers' Guide to Curating Book Shelves at Home **

The ultimate laugh-out-loud gift for Father's Day, Dad's birthday, Christmas and any Super Dad out there! Q: What super power do you get when you become a parent? A: Supervision. Super Dad Jokes is perfect for all super dads out there-from the dad experts to the first-time fathers embracing their most cringe-worthy dad powers! This new edition with over 500 puns, stories, and anti-jokes is the perfect way to celebrate (and laugh at) dad's super (bad) joke skills! The perfect gift from any daughter, son, or partner to the super dad who makes their eyes roll with super speed. Arm yourself against the forces of evil (and good taste) with this heroically funny joke book. It's time to save the world, one pun at a time! Includes knee-slappers like: I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it. Q: What is the sleepiest fruit? A: Napricot. "Dad, do you want a box for your leftovers?" "No, but I'll wrestle you for them!"

Gaming just got a whole lot funnier. What was the console gamer's New Year’s resolution? 1280x720. Why did Frogger cross the road? Because after an hour and a half you’ve finally completed the level. Why would a grown-up want to play Pokémon Go? Wynaut? This is a joke book for anyone who knows that AAA isn’t just a battery type, you don’t need scissors to do some crafting and that you don’t have to go outdoors to try camping. *Parental guidance: Occasional fruity language and jokes of a sexual nature*

Get ready to laugh yourself silly in this hilarious new joke book all about . . .

. . . MERMAIDS!

Dive right in and Join Silly Sally, the funniest mermaid in the whole ocean, as she tells you some very silly jokes.

What does a mermaid say to the clam at the disco?

Shell we dance?

How does a mermaid make friends with a dolphin?

On porpoise!

Why was the mermaid embarrassed?

She saw the ship's bottom!

Full of jokes, puns and one-liners about mermaids and their underwater friends this hilarious book is full of mermazing jokes to share with all of your friends too! Splash right in and trident not to split your sides laughing!

With a sparkly foiled cover for an extra special magical touch and over 150 jokes to share, this is the perfect gift for children aged 8+ and is guaranteed to have the whole family laughing.

Quite simply, the greatest compendium of humour ever written! Even bigger and better than ever, The Mammoth Book of Jokes is the ultimate joke book - now revised and expanded to over 7500 entries. This endlessly entertaining collection covers everything you could ever think of, from Birthdays and Dogs to Mothers-in- Law and War. Plus epigrams, limericks, misprints and howlers, shaggy dog stories, politically incorrect jokes, toasts, pick-up lines and put-downs ...Extra new material for this bumper edition includes favourite celebrity jokes - specially chosen by the likes of Bill Clinton, Gordon Ramsay, Dustin Hoffman and Tony Blair - as well as no fewer than 2000 brand new jokes.

The Brick of Dad Jokes is the ultimate collection of puns, quips, and corny one-liners that is sure to get eyes rolling. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! The Brick of Dad Jokes is an eye-rolling, groan-inducing collection of hundreds of jokes for the dad joke aficionado in your life. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.

@KidsWriteJokes brings you over 150 crazy, entertaining and hilarious jokes written by kids! Answering questions you've always wanted to know, like... Q. Why does mums get so angry A. beacuse when she sends you to your rhoom she can read a fashion book The best knock knock jokes... knock knock toilet to the rescue The horror jokes you didn't know you wanted but now need... it was a dark and creepy night there was a black and white figure in the forest it was a cow. And some of the weirdest gags you'll ever hear... Q. What do you call a freak horse? A. Jessica Utterly original and completely hilarious - Kids Write Jokes is charming, silly and fun, and the perfect book for anyone with a sense of humour!

ABSOLUTELY TWISTED
SERIOUSLY DISTURBING
DOWNRIGHT WRONG
→What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
"A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."
→What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
"Gonorrhea."
→What's pink, black and has 17 nipples?
"The trash can behind the cancer ward."
→What do Jersey girls use as protection during sex?
"Bus shelters."
→Did you hear that McDonald's is coming out with a McJackson burger?
"It's a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun."

This collection of laugh-out-loud jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life-drawn from "Reader's Digest" magazine's most popular humor columns-is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with more than 1,000 jokes, anecdotes, cartoons, quotes, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction
Did you hear about the Broadway actor who broke through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage What did the ill comic say in the hospital? "I'm here...all weak " Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?" Posted in a dental office: "Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too." "The main advantage of being famous is that when you bore people at dinner parties, they think it is their fault." -Henry Kissinger, Nobel Peace Prize, 1973 As Groucho Marx once said, "A laugh is like an aspirin, only it works twice as fast."