A collection of jokes that combines favourite, classic Scottish oldies with fresh jokes about our favorite stereotypes that make you laugh. It presents an irreverent view of Scotland and the Scots. Gentle, vintage humour. If you're looking for answers to questions like: 'How do you get a Highlander onto the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house' and 'what clothes should I take for a trip to Scotland? All of them.' then look no further than this book.

I don't like to brag but I can control a kayak brilliantly. Canoe? 'Pardon' is the only French word that I know. I can only apologise. From Geoff Rowe and the Leicester Comedy Festival comes this brilliant tribute to that most British of jokes, the humble pun. Including a foreword from Dr Oliver Double and a wealth of hilarious (and occasionally groan-inducing) material from some of Britain's finest stand-up comedic talent, All Puns Blazing is a fun and fitting celebration of grassroots UK comedy. Featuring puns from: El Baldiniho - Lovdev Barpaga - Zahra Barri - Adele Cliff - Tony Cowards - Henry Dawe - Pauline Eyre - Friz Frizzle - Masai Graham - Sean Hegarty - Kevin Hudson - Leo Kearse - Colin Leggo - Nigel Lovell - Iain MacDonald - Kat Molinari - Laura Monmoth - Joseph Murphy - Graham Musk - Sean Patrick - Richard Pulsford - Paul Savage - Philip Simon - Rob Thomas - Andrew Tymms - Stevie Vegas - Chris Norton Walker - Darren Walsh - Richard Woolford - Jenan Younis

Get the jokes you've been missing. 1001 Internet Jokes II - Gay and Lesbian Edition is a must read. You don't have to be Gay, Lesbian, or a Republican waiting in an airport bathroom stall to read these hilarious pages of jokes from the internet.

"This book almost didn't exist. I was about to write a serious, heavy book entitled How To Save Western Civilization, as a sequel to my book How To Destroy Western Civilization and Other Ideas from the Cultural Abyss. But writing it was not making me happy, and reading it was not going to make anybody else happy either. And then I stopped just long enough for my guardian angel to squeeze through that tiny window of opportunity that I had opened up by my silence and to whisper this commonsense question into my subconscious: "Why not make them happy instead?" (Angels specialize in common sense.) I started thinking: Western civilization is neither healthy, happy, nor holy. Humor is all three. Humor is not only holy, it's Heavenly. And if you are surprised to be told that humor is Heavenly, you need to read this book because you reveal your misunderstanding of both humor and Heaven. If you ask, 'Is there laughter in Heaven?' my answer is: 'You can't be serious!'"

Some random Mexican jokes from the book:

A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules Any comments?"

His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not."

***

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone"

***

What's a Mexican favorite book store? Borders.

Did you hear about that one Mexican that went to college? Yeah.. me neither.

How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy pushing it.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed.

What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike? Chase after him, it's probably yours

Why are Mexicans so short? They all live in basement apartments.

Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don't work in the future, either.

What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house? Adopted.

Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? Because their dads built it and their mom clean it.

2 Mexicans are in a car, who is driving? A cop.

Buy the book to read 100s more Mexican jokes

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CIRCUMCISION AND DIVORCE? DIVORCE GETS RID OF THE WHOLE PRICK.
Men think women don't like dirty jokes. Which proves how much men don't know!
-What do you call a man who's gagged and tied to the bed? "trustworthy"
-What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? "A slut sleeps with everyone. A bitch sleeps with everyone but you. "
Packed with the indecent things women laugh at when men aren't around, "The Girls-Only Dirty Joke Book" offers edgy, sexy and downright raunchy humor.
The one-liners, punchlines, putdowns and comebacks cover everything from undersized penises and far-from-faithful men to oversized breasts and less-than brilliant blondes.
Although out of line at a bridal shower, they are sure to have everyone rolling in hysterics at a bachelorette party.

THREE BOOKS IN ONE A TRIPLE HELPING OF GARFIELD HUMOR
MEANS THREE TIMES THE FUN!
He used to be perfect, but now he's even better! Garfield, the fat cat with the super sized ego, is back in the spotlight, dissing his dimwitted owner Jon - even pilfering his pants. Some cats chase mice; Garfield prefers to take legal action. When down on the farm, the city kitty puts up with-and puts down-Jon and his barnyard brother. No wonder Garfield's often in a bad mood.
But no matter what, he's always in the mood for food!
The GARFIELD FAT CAT 3-PACK series collects the GARFIELD comic-strip compilation books in a new, full-color format. Garfield may have gone through a few changes, but one thing has stayed the same: his enormous appetite for food and fun. So enjoy some super sized laughs with the insatiable cat, because too much fun is never enough!
GARFIELD BEEFS UP
GARFIELD GETS COOKIN'
GARFIELD EATS CROW

Featuring narrative essays, short stories, conceptual pieces and drawings, the bestselling "This Is a Book" delivers sharp jokes and colorful characters from the brilliant mind of the renowned comedian.

Who says math can't be funny? In Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks, Patrick Vennebush dispels the myth of the humorless mathematician. His quick wit comes through in this incredible compilation of jokes and stories. Intended for all math types, Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks provides a comprehensive collection of math humor, containing over 400 jokes. It's a book that all teachers from elementary school through college should have in their library. But the humor isn't just for the classroom-it also appeals to engineers, statisticians, and other math professionals searching for some good, clean, numerical fun. From basic facts (Why is 6 afraid of 7?) to trigonometry (Mathematical puns are the first sine of dementia) and algebra (Graphing rational functions is a pain in the asymptote), no topic is safe. As Professor Jim Rubillo notes, Math Jokes 4 Math Folks is an absolute gem for anyone dedicated to seeing mathematical ideas through puns, double meanings, and blatant bad jokes. Such perspectives help to see concepts and ideas in different and creative ways.

The laugh-out-loud true story of a harrowing and hilarious two-year odyssey in the distant South Pacific island nation of Kiribati--possibly The Worst Place on Earth.
At the age of twenty-six, Maarten Troost--who had been pushing the snooze button on the alarm clock of life by racking up useless graduate degrees and muddling through a series of temp jobs--decided to pack up his flip-flops and move to Tarawa, a remote South Pacific island in the Republic of Kiribati. He was restless and lacked direction, and the idea of dropping everything and moving to the ends of the earth was irresistibly romantic. He should have known better.
"The Sex Lives of Cannibals tells the hilarious story of what happens when Troost discovers that Tarawa is not the island paradise he dreamed of. Falling into one amusing misadventure after another, Troost struggles through relentless, stifling heat, a variety of deadly bacteria, polluted seas, toxic fish--all in a country where the only music to be heard for miles around is "La Macarena." He and his stalwart girlfriend Sylvia spend the next two years battling incompetent government officials, alarmingly large critters, erratic electricity, and a paucity of food options (including the Great Beer Crisis); and contending with a bizarre cast of local characters, including "Half-Dead Fred" and the self-proclaimed Poet Laureate of Tarawa (a British drunkard who's never written a poem in his life).
With "The Sex Lives of Cannibals, Maarten Troost has delivered one of the most original, rip-roaringly funny travelogues in years--one that will leave you thankful for staples of American civilization such as coffee, regular showers, and tabloid news, andthat will provide the ultimate vicarious adventure.

Alton Douglas is back! Author of over fifty books, Alton once again trawls through his career as a professional comedian, scriptwriter, TV warm-up artiste, actor and trombonist, to produce a feast of anecdotes, jokes and stories in the same vein as his previous Entertaining Thoughts, Laughs in the Right Place and I Forgot to Tell You. With the emphasis on fun and entertainment, he presents another collection of the curious, humorous and downright strange happenings that have enriched his life, including behind-the-scenes stories of the nice and not-so-nice inhabitants of the world of show business.

Writer and humorist Don Steinberg was not interested in compiling a thousand gags into a giant paperback, because he knew most of the content would be bland. Instead, he set out to compile the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the "Jokes Every Man Should Know". Here are jokes for business trips, blind dates, and family get-togethers. Here are seven jokes that will make kids laugh and nineteen jokes that are definitely not suitable for children. Here are three jokes about doctors, two jokes about gorillas, eight jokes about heaven, and the world's only truly funny knock-knock joke. When applicable, Steinberg has included history about the origin of the joke and/or alternate versions, along with a visual rating system to indicate the best audience for the joke.

Jokes are a perfect format for learning vocabulary, idiomatic expressions, and grammar. Jokes are also designed to be retold. If you learn a joke by heart and tell it to other people, then by doing so you will also learn the grammar and vocabulary involved. The book also contains exercises designed to reveal whether you have understood the joke or not: A joke is presented to you but with the paragraphs mixed up. Your task is to put them in the correct order. The joke has a choice of three punch lines. If you select the correct one, this should be an indicator that you have understood the joke. Several two-line jokes are presented together. The task is to match the first line and the second line. A joke is presented with some key words missing. The task is to insert the right word in the right place. Easy English! is a series of books to help you learn and revise your English with minimal effort. You can improve your English by reading texts in English that you might well normally read in your own language e.g. jokes, personality tests, lateral thinking games, wordsearches. doing short exercises to improve specific areas grammar and vocabulary, i.e. the areas that tend to lead to the most mistakes - the aim is just to focus on what you really need rather than overwhelming yourself with a mass of rules, many of which may have no practical daily value Other books in the Easy English! series include: Wordsearches: Widen Your Vocabulary in English Test Your Personality: Have Fun and Learn Useful Phrases Word games, Riddles and Logic Tests: Tax Your Brain and Boost Your English Top 50 Grammar Mistakes: How to Avoid Them Top 50 Vocabulary Mistakes: How to Avoid Them

Great jokes not only make us laugh--they make us think. They very often contain important pieces of wisdom and insight that we are more willing to hear when they're delivered with a laugh. Life Is a Joke: 100 Life Lessons (with Punch Lines) includes 100 hilarious jokes along with the messages that you may or may not realize they carry. For instance, a joke about a tribal mystic and the weather service becomes a pointed parable about being very careful in choosing which experts to trust (or vote for). A joke about a therapist and his patient offers an invaluable insight about the vital importance of open communication. A salesman, a clerk, and a manager find a magic lamp--and learn that whoever speaks first doesn't necessarily win. Written by the brothers who created the phenomenally successful Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series, each entry in Life Is a Joke is contained in a two-page spread. There's an epigram previewing the theme of the joke and lesson, a brief precis of the lesson the joke teaches, and a few takeaway points with ideas for how readers can apply the lesson to their own lives.

Looking for a good joke? Searching for an ice-breaker for that after-dinner speech? Or are you just in need of a few laughs? Then stop! Your search is over. This book is the finest, funniest collection of gags, rib-ticklers and plain silly one-liners ever to find themselves squeezed inside the covers of a book.

Organised by subject matter (from Absence - via Insults - to Writers) and containing side-splitters stolen from such wits as Groucho Marx, Orson Welles, Mark Twain and P. J. O'Rourke, among many, many others, this book will ensure that people will feel compelled to laugh at you wherever you go.

A treasure trove of wit covering all walks of life, The Penguin Dictionary Of Jokes is the perfect joke book for all occasions.