THE FIRST COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES From the most-followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes, comes a collection of hilariously cheesy jokes that will leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. This is the perfect gift for dads who want to expand their repertoire and anyone who fancies reminiscing about a childhood full of these no-nonsense 'bad' puns. Here are a couple of tasters: Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose. Q: Are you today's date? A: Cuz you're 10/10.

This hilarious collection of over 300 puns, one-liners, and classic jokes dedicated to the fun of RPGs is perfect for you share with your fellow gaming compatriots! Why don't dragons like to eat paladins? They taste lawful. Laugh out loud at over 300 zingy one-liners and eye-rolling puns with this collection of tabletop-based humor, dedicated to the fun of RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, and more! A Dragon Walks into a Bar gives you hours of funny content that will keep you smiling. Whether you use them as inspiration for your level 20 comedian bard to crack wise during battle or if you just want a giggle in between turns, this book has everything you've been looking for.

GOTHAM'S GREATEST GAGS—
BAR NONE!

When it comes to the finest, the far-outest, and the just plain funniest, the jokes start here—in the saloon capital of the world, New York, New York. Jimmy Pritchard, author and veteran NYC bartender, has heard them all from patrons across the oak. In these comedic cocktails, no one is spared, not the Irish or the elderly, not lawyers or blondes, not the handicapped, not sex-crazed animals, not even God. Jimmy brings you over 400 of the best in the house, stirred, shaken, and served inside this one-of-a-kind collection that is downright intoxicating.

THE ONLY BOOK THAT TELLS YOU...

about two Irishmen who walked out of a bar

what has four legs and chases cats

the difference between a bitch and a slut

how to clear out an Iraqi bingo game

the most popular man in a nudist colony

the most popular woman in a nudist colony

why Viagra is like Disney World

the one about the Polish kidnappers

and hundreds more jokes, riddles, stories, and one-liners

They're all here! the hooker, the drunk, the proctologist, the little old lady, the midget, the travelling salesman, the redneck, Helen Keller, the Jewish mother...Jackie 'The Joke Man' Martling knows them all and more. Here are the gems from the private files of the head writer and cast member of THE HOWARD STERN SHOW, the phenomenally popular radio show from America which was the inspiration for Chris Evans. Infamous for knowing every joke in the universe, Martling has dared audiences to start a joke he couldn't finish. Now he takes no prisoners, spares no ethnic or social group, and exhibits not one ounce of good taste in this wildly offensive, all-inclusive and outrageously funny collection of dirty jokes.

As an openly gay comic, Bob Smith broke barriers with an appearance on "The Tonight Show." Now Smith offers up his own original, whine-free perspective on being grown up and gay.In OPENLY BOB, the acclaimed comedian candidly, and humorously, tackles issues facing grown-up gays as they make their place in an overwhelmingly straight society. From bringing your boyfriend home to your father's funeral, to being the only gay couple at a family wedding, to surviving couples counseling, Smith's decidedly wry spin on the events of our lives resonates with keen observation and hilarious truth."So Mom says to me on the phone, 'Just because you're coming home for your father's funeral doesn't mean we can't have fun!'"Sex education, meteor showers, lesbian ventriloquist dummies, fleamarket shopping, body piercing, pot -smoking drag queens, environmental correctness, Judgment Day, Samuel Beckett, Newt Gingrich, Coco Chanel, Sigmund Freud--nothing and no one escapes Smith's incisive eye in this very human collection of comic essays.

THE SECOND COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES All New Dad Jokes is the second book from the most followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @DadSaysJokes. Now with a following of over 5 million across Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, All New Dad Jokes provides brand new gags guaranteed to leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run network inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking mastermind started his career at the tender age of 14, when he created his original platform, Football.Newz, to serve audiences for the World cup 2014. He has recently added another fourteen platforms in different genres (of which @DadSaysJokes is one). This is his second book. Q: Where do naughty rainbows go? A: Prism.

Quite simply, the greatest compendium of humour ever written! Even bigger and better than ever, The Mammoth Book of Jokes is the ultimate joke book - now revised and expanded to over 7500 entries. This endlessly entertaining collection covers everything you could ever think of, from Birthdays and Dogs to Mothers-in- Law and War. Plus epigrams, limericks, misprints and howlers, shaggy dog stories, politically incorrect jokes, toasts, pick-up lines and put-downs ...Extra new material for this bumper edition includes favourite celebrity jokes - specially chosen by the likes of Bill Clinton, Gordon Ramsay, Dustin Hoffman and Tony Blair - as well as no fewer than 2000 brand new jokes.

Delve into the magical world of unicorns in this new illustrated book, filled with questions, facts, jokes and more! Release your inner unicorn with this hilarious new ‘would you rather’ book! Bursting with funny, interactive questions, silly jokes and facts for 6+ kids, this brilliant book will keep the whole family entertained for hours. Would you rather grow sparkly hooves for feet or a flowing unicorn tail? Would you rather fart rainbows for a month or neigh whenever you burp for a week? Laugh-out-loud illustrations bring unicorns to life, and will draw in even the most reluctant readers. In the same series, Christmas Would You Rather (9780008524425) offers some seasonal fun!

Pun and joke lovers unite! Punny Jokes is packed with hundreds upon hundreds of hilarious, pun-tastic jokes! What's better than a good pun? Five hundred of the puniest jokes in the universe, of course! Punny Jokes is a gift-worthy hardcover that covers everything from classic puns of yore to brand-new jokes, including: - What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef. - When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn! - Why are teddy bears never hungry? They're stuffed! - What type of sandals does a frog wear? Open-toad! - What's a pirate's favorite letter? RRRRRR. - What did the syrup say to the waffle? I love you a waffle lot! - What do you call the wife of a hippies? A Mississippi! And many, many more! With Punny Jokes, you'll be rolling on the floor laughing--for real!

The ability to laugh, especially the ability to laugh at ourselves, is a uniquely human characteristic. One of the greatest sources of humor can be religion, for religion offers us an opportunity to laugh at ourselves at our most serious. And Jesus taught us that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. "Unless you become like little children," he said, "you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Author Tom Sheridan begins by discussing the importance of laughter and the relationship of humor to religion before launching into the hilarious jokes.

My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, "we have a drink named after you." The horse says, "what? Eric?" I said, "waiter, what's that in my soup?" he said, "I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another." I'm reading a book called "Sex Before 20." Personally I don't like audiences. I said, "it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places." He said, "well stop going to those places." I call my car flattery. It gets me knowwhere.

Have you heard the one about... You'll laugh yourself silly with The Everything Big Book of Jokes! Inside this sidesplitting collection, you'll find only the most popular kinds of jokes, riddles, and funnies from a dynamic professional comedian, including: Short jokes, one-liners, and puns Jokes about spouses, in-laws, kids, and grandparents Office and sports jokes Animal humor Classics, including "Guy walks into a bar..." blonde jokes, priest and rabbi jokes, even knock-knock jokes Filled with countless gags, giggles, and guffaws, this book is sure to tickle your funny bone--and make you the life of the party!

Who says math can't be funny? In Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks, Patrick Vennebush dispels the myth of the humorless mathematician. His quick wit comes through in this incredible compilation of jokes and stories. Intended for all math types, Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks provides a comprehensive collection of math humor, containing over 400 jokes. It's a book that all teachers from elementary school through college should have in their library. But the humor isn't just for the classroom-it also appeals to engineers, statisticians, and other math professionals searching for some good, clean, numerical fun. From basic facts (Why is 6 afraid of 7?) to trigonometry (Mathematical puns are the first sine of dementia) and algebra (Graphing rational functions is a pain in the asymptote), no topic is safe. As Professor Jim Rubillo notes, Math Jokes 4 Math Folks is an absolute gem for anyone dedicated to seeing mathematical ideas through puns, double meanings, and blatant bad jokes. Such perspectives help to see concepts and ideas in different and creative ways.

This collection of laugh-out-loud jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life-drawn from "Reader's Digest" magazine's most popular humor columns-is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with more than 1,000 jokes, anecdotes, cartoons, quotes, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction
Did you hear about the Broadway actor who broke through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage What did the ill comic say in the hospital? "I'm here...all weak " Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?" Posted in a dental office: "Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too." "The main advantage of being famous is that when you bore people at dinner parties, they think it is their fault." -Henry Kissinger, Nobel Peace Prize, 1973 As Groucho Marx once said, "A laugh is like an aspirin, only it works twice as fast."

If you are looking for jokes that give answers to questions such as: What's the difference between a Kerry wedding and a Kerry wake? Why would Dermot not go to bed on his wedding night? and blessings such as: "May your friends have fine weather for your funeral." and "Better to be a coward for a moment than a dead hero for the rest of your life." then this is it. Irish Jokes provides wit, advice and a lighthearted look at the culture, psyche and society of Ireland and the Irish.

The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Wrinklies Worldly Wit & Wisdom is a compilation of over 1500 amusing and insightful quotations from well-known writers, politicians, film stars, artists, musicians and philosophers. Every topic of discussion is covered - from love and marriage, sex and Viagra, to dressing inappropriately, entering retirement, families and the march of technology. Whether you're just getting your grey hairs or you're a venerable member of the golden generation, Wrinklies Worldly Wit & Wisdom is the perfect source of insight and advice.

My doctor asked me if I drank to excess. I told him I would drink to anything. What is a bear's favourite pasta? Tagliateddy. How do snowmen get to work? By icicle. If laughter is the best medicine, this colossal compendium is an overdose waiting to happen! With gags grouped into sections ranging from babies and birthdays to marriage and music, there's something for everyone in these jest-packed pages. Side effects may include split sides and a sore jaw.

Resign yourself to the great resignation and just say "bye." BYE, I Quit is a blend of satire and encouragement to help you find meaning and humor to get through the workday. If you have had a recent epiphany about quitting your job or know someone who has, this fully illustrated, meme-worthy guidebook offers the inspiration needed to keep your chin up and tap into what really matters in life. (Spoiler: it's not your job). Sample entries include: Affirmations that you are more than just your job Meditations to keep you focused during your 8 a.m. meeting A flowchart to determine if you should send that passive-aggressive email Mantras for when you're burnt out Humorous illustrations of all the little things that bug you at work (seafood in the microwave, anyone?) Step-by-step guides for getting motivated or having a really good Friday Inspirational quotes to help you connect to your true passion and purpose Equal parts hopeful and snarky-okay, fine, it's actually mostly snarky-BYE, I Quit is a great source of inspiration (snarkspiration!) for anyone who dreams of quiet quitting or leaving their job altogether and finding the elusive work-life balance. Also perfect for anyone who just can't stand the hours of nine to five anymore.

This sparkling collection of golden age wit and wisdom is proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering granddads just aren't true anymore - if, indeed, they ever were. Senior citizens are not going gentle into that good night. They're still out there, living life to the full, taking selfies, 'silver surfing' the net and showing the rest of us how to grow up and grow old disgracefully. Because as Maurice Chevalier said, 'Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.' This is a joke book specifically designed for oldies, so look out you young whippersnappers - you probably won't get half of them!

Have you heard the one about the man who walked into a bar? (Ouch!)... Penguin Pocket Jokes is essential (and hilarious) reading for anyone searching for the perfect joke. Whether you want a snappy wisecrack or a longer rib-tickler when making a speech, this easy-to-use guide will provide the perfect witticism.