What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow!

Golf got its name because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Here's the most massive melding of mirth ever minted! Hundreds of jokes, stories, and other tomfoolery on every subject from cars to kids, from sports to business, from politics to the Pearly Gates. Tell'em to your friends or keep'em to yourself -- this book has more jokes than Lessie has fleas!

How do you save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head!

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

C'mon. You can do it. Take this book to the cash register -- and take home enough jokes to meet your minimum daily humor requirement for the whole millennium!

Great jokes not only make us laugh--they make us think. They very often contain important pieces of wisdom and insight that we are more willing to hear when they're delivered with a laugh. Life Is a Joke: 100 Life Lessons (with Punch Lines) includes 100 hilarious jokes along with the messages that you may or may not realize they carry. For instance, a joke about a tribal mystic and the weather service becomes a pointed parable about being very careful in choosing which experts to trust (or vote for). A joke about a therapist and his patient offers an invaluable insight about the vital importance of open communication. A salesman, a clerk, and a manager find a magic lamp--and learn that whoever speaks first doesn't necessarily win. Written by the brothers who created the phenomenally successful Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series, each entry in Life Is a Joke is contained in a two-page spread. There's an epigram previewing the theme of the joke and lesson, a brief precis of the lesson the joke teaches, and a few takeaway points with ideas for how readers can apply the lesson to their own lives.

What do you get when you take tons of hilarious one-liners, riddles, knock-knock jokes, and tongue twisters, then add dozens of hilarious illustrations? Sandy Silverthorne's latest joke book! This crazy-fun, fully illustrated book is filled with the best clean humor around. Jokes like What do you call a flock of sheep rolling down a hill? A lamb-slide! Knock, knock Who's there? Ammonia. Ammonia who? Ammonia little kid. How should I know? I'm terrified of elevators so I'm taking steps to avoid them. Get ready for hours of fun making your friends laugh, making your family laugh, but mostly making yourself laugh! Ideal for kids ages 6-12.

My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, "we have a drink named after you." The horse says, "what? Eric?" I said, "waiter, what's that in my soup?" he said, "I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another." I'm reading a book called "Sex Before 20." Personally I don't like audiences. I said, "it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places." He said, "well stop going to those places." I call my car flattery. It gets me knowwhere.

Each of us has laughed at one or more of the great classics-- whether it was the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer's daughter.

"Good taste," as it was interpreted by the censors, did not allow the collection and publication of these funniest dirty stories. And so they have been told aloud, passed from mouth to mouth and sometimes from generation to generation.

Things have changed. And so, a few years ago, Mr. "J." decided to gather together the very best-- the very funniest-- from the large crop of dirty jokes.

"Dirty" isn't, of itself, funny. A good dirty joke is often graphic and sometimes shocking. But it is always amusing and often causes hilarity. The final crop of jokes was selected by 12 separate judges. Only those jokes that brought cheer and laughter to the heart were permitted to remain.

Some of the stories will be familiar to you. None will be heard on radio or television. But all are designed to make you smile-- and, with a little practice, you can make others laugh, too.

Featuring narrative essays, short stories, conceptual pieces and drawings, the bestselling "This Is a Book" delivers sharp jokes and colorful characters from the brilliant mind of the renowned comedian.

***WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER*** 'A smart, funny, brilliant book on how to be smart about being funny, brilliantly' Sarah Cooper 'This book has finally convinced me that joking around can actually be important and powerful' Ed Gamble 'Eye-opening, important and utterly enjoyable. Come for the humour, stay for the insights' Arianna Huffington Humour is a superpower. If you're not using it, the joke's on you. When we're kids we laugh all the time. The average four year-old laughs as many as 300 times a day, while the average forty year-old laughs 300 times every two and a half months! We grow up, start working and suddenly become "serious and important people", trading laughter for bottom lines and mind-dumbing zoom calls. But the benefits of humour for our work and life are huge. Studies have shown that humour makes us appear more competent and confident, strengthens our relationships, unlocks creativity and boosts resilience during difficult times. Dr. Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas are on a mission to help everyone discover the power of humour. Based on the popular Stanford Business course, this book will show you how to mine your life for material, explore the Four Deadly Humour Myths and help you figure out which style of humour you fall into - The Magnet, The Sweetheart, The Sniper or the Stand Up. Drawing on behavioural science, advice from world-class comedians and stories from top leaders, Humour, Seriously will show you how to harness the power of humour every day.

Who says math can't be funny? In Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks, Patrick Vennebush dispels the myth of the humorless mathematician. His quick wit comes through in this incredible compilation of jokes and stories. Intended for all math types, Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks provides a comprehensive collection of math humor, containing over 400 jokes. It's a book that all teachers from elementary school through college should have in their library. But the humor isn't just for the classroom-it also appeals to engineers, statisticians, and other math professionals searching for some good, clean, numerical fun. From basic facts (Why is 6 afraid of 7?) to trigonometry (Mathematical puns are the first sine of dementia) and algebra (Graphing rational functions is a pain in the asymptote), no topic is safe. As Professor Jim Rubillo notes, Math Jokes 4 Math Folks is an absolute gem for anyone dedicated to seeing mathematical ideas through puns, double meanings, and blatant bad jokes. Such perspectives help to see concepts and ideas in different and creative ways.

The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Alton Douglas is back! Author of over fifty books, Alton once again trawls through his career as a professional comedian, scriptwriter, TV warm-up artiste, actor and trombonist, to produce a feast of anecdotes, jokes and stories in the same vein as his previous Entertaining Thoughts, Laughs in the Right Place and I Forgot to Tell You. With the emphasis on fun and entertainment, he presents another collection of the curious, humorous and downright strange happenings that have enriched his life, including behind-the-scenes stories of the nice and not-so-nice inhabitants of the world of show business.

Jokes are a perfect format for learning vocabulary, idiomatic expressions, and grammar. Jokes are also designed to be retold. If you learn a joke by heart and tell it to other people, then by doing so you will also learn the grammar and vocabulary involved. The book also contains exercises designed to reveal whether you have understood the joke or not: A joke is presented to you but with the paragraphs mixed up. Your task is to put them in the correct order. The joke has a choice of three punch lines. If you select the correct one, this should be an indicator that you have understood the joke. Several two-line jokes are presented together. The task is to match the first line and the second line. A joke is presented with some key words missing. The task is to insert the right word in the right place. Easy English! is a series of books to help you learn and revise your English with minimal effort. You can improve your English by reading texts in English that you might well normally read in your own language e.g. jokes, personality tests, lateral thinking games, wordsearches. doing short exercises to improve specific areas grammar and vocabulary, i.e. the areas that tend to lead to the most mistakes - the aim is just to focus on what you really need rather than overwhelming yourself with a mass of rules, many of which may have no practical daily value Other books in the Easy English! series include: Wordsearches: Widen Your Vocabulary in English Test Your Personality: Have Fun and Learn Useful Phrases Word games, Riddles and Logic Tests: Tax Your Brain and Boost Your English Top 50 Grammar Mistakes: How to Avoid Them Top 50 Vocabulary Mistakes: How to Avoid Them