The perfect gift for Christmas! Hundreds of hilarious hypothetical questions for anyone aged 6 to 106 who loves princess movies, stories and fairy tales. Would you rather have Harry Styles as your fairy godmother or Ariana Grande? Would you rather be a wayfinder like Moana or an archer like Merida? And would you rather have Rapunzel's hair growing from your armpits or growing from your toes?! The perfect brain-stretcher for anyone bored home alone, off on a long journey or looking for an easy party game, The Bumper Book of Would You Rather?: Princes and Princesses Edition is guaranteed to provide you with hours of entertainment this Christmas.

Hundreds and Hundreds of Jokes that Will Drive Your Family Crazy Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dads tell. (Well, at least he thinks they're hilarious . . .) Have you ever noticed when you're out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered "yes" to any of the following, you're not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad's persona. This comedic compendium compiles more than eight hundred of the best jokes dads can use to hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the least funny/most "punny" guy in the room.

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! What are dad jokes? Short, simple one-liners that are fairly clean. Anyone can tell dad jokes, but they are best told by dads. Now The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here and inside you'll find: - More puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling - Hundreds of dad jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse. These jokes are so funny you won't even see them coming!

A modern, feminist take on the classic joke book to amuse and empower women. If a tree falls in a forest and only a woman is around to hear it, does it make a sound? We’ll never know. The male forest ranger said it was a “she said, tree said” situation. Four comedy writers flip the script on outdated, sexist joke formats while delivering sharp commentary about the everyday sexism women and people of marginalized genders face. Building off their viral McSweeney’s piece, the book arms readers with humorous ammunition to deliver pointed blows to workplace underminer Gregs and Neanderthal Uncle Larrys, or to share with their aggrieved girlfriends. A cutting satire of the old-fashioned sexist joke book, Jokes to Offend Men is a refreshing reclamation of a tired form.

Dad Jokes: the good, the bad, and the terrible, a perfect gift for dads and pun-lovers alike! With over 600 knee-slappers, head-shakers, and groan-makers, Dad Jokes is packed with enough witty quips and cheesy-but-grate jokes for even the most embarrassing of dads. Perfect for the father experts, new dads, and all the fathers-to-be, this is the ideal funny gift from any daughter, son, wife, or partner that celebrates how great (terrible) their jokes truly are! But remember-you don't have to be a dad to tell dad jokes! Be prepared for the obvious, silly, and awkward in this massive collection of the best groan-worthy dad jokes around, including clever quips, overly literal dialogue, and punny one-liners. Great for Father's Day, Christmas, white elephant, birthdays, and more! These jokes may be on porpoise, but they whale definitely make you laugh: I used to hate facial hair, but then it started growing on me. "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me." I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! Q: What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? A: The road.

From the cocreator of the celebrated Big Book of Jewish Humor comes a "funny...geezer-licious" (Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts) collection of jokes about growing older that makes fun of memory loss, marriages, medicine, sex, the afterlife, and much more--a perfect gift for almost anyone who was born before you were. Growing older can be unsettling and surprising. (How on earth did this happen? Where did the years go?) So what better way to deal with this new stage of life than to laugh about your new reality? Die Laughing includes more than enough jokes (not to mention cartoons!) to let that laughter burst out. Whether it's dealing with doctors, dating in one's seventies, or unexpected bodily changes (not to mention funny noises), some things are easier to face with a smile of recognition. That's why Die Laughing is the perfect gift for your parents, anyone celebrating a significant birthday, or any boomer with a sense of humor whose age begins with a six or higher.

It's difficult to say what "The Iron Tonic" is about, although it is "known the skating pond conceals a family of enormous eels," and that "the light is fading from the day. The rest is darkness and dismay." Finally, though, "The Iron Tonic" could be seen as Edward Gorey's version of a winter afternoon in one of the great Russian novels of the nineteenth century.

When a man becomes a dad, he takes on certain responsibilities: providing for his family, raising up his children to be good citizens--and telling the absolute worst jokes he can come up with. But dad jokes don't always come naturally, which is why Sandy Silverthorne created The Best Worst Dad Jokes. Filled with more than 500 groan worthy jokes to torment your kids, this collection makes it possible for dads to fill any moment of dead air with a joke that will have everyone within hearing distance rolling their eyes and edging away to avoid association with you. Jokes like . . . I don't have a dad bod; I have a father figure. I saw a sign that said Watch for Children. That sounded like a good trade to me. and of course . . . When does a joke become a dad joke? When it's fully groan. And hey, it's only downhill from there.

Scientific evidence for the origin of speech is abundant, but evidence for the origin of language as separate from speech as a naming system remains speculative. What evidence can be utilized that will furnish relevant insights on the origin or language? This book attempts to provide an answer by suggesting that the first riddles of humanity, along with the first myths, reveal that language may have emerged as a mode of reflection via metaphor-a mode that involves blending speech forms together to produce complex, abstract cognition.

It's time to get down and even dirtier with this second selection of the filthiest gags you're ever likely to hear. "100 Dirty Jokes for Girls" is all you need to give you a naughty thrill and is jam-packed with outrageous stories, punchlines and one-liners that are guaranteed to have you and your mates laughing out loud. And, because all women know that men and sex make a hilarious double act, the book includes jokes on chat-ups, dirty talk, foreplay, penis size, orgasms and between-the-sheets mishaps, making it a side-splitting read and proving that - in this case at least - size doesn't matter. So, move over Christina Aguilera - you're not the only dirty girl in town!

The perfect Father's Day gift for new dads and expecting fathers! A punderful resource of the funniest dad jokes that every dad needs in their arsenal! With over 500 brand new jokes on a range of topics to get dads ready to embarrass their children-and most importantly-embarrass them early, this laugh-out-loud book is a hilarious title perfect for baby showers and Father's Day! Dad Jokes for New Dads is a special edition joke book for new dads and soon-to-be fathers that celebrates dads with a full arsenal of dad jokes and "helpful" pro tips to help new dads get by! The perfect gift from any kid, wife, or partner to celebrate and prepare the new dad in their life! Includes knee-slappers like: Q: What did the big beer name its baby? A: Micro brew. I wrote a book about birds once. My publisher said it flew off the shelves! Dad Pro Tip #1: If the baby starts to spit up, turn it toward someone else.

'Puerile, reprehensible and very, very funny' Adam Kay 'I love Fesshole. Every single one is a masterclass in storytelling' Jay Rayner 'Hilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like' David Schneider 'The wild, the wonderful, the frankly unbelievable and the downright disgusting. Under the anonymity of the internet people confess their most embarrassing secrets and it might not be good for their souls, but it's great for the readers!' Richard K Herring It's confession time, folks! Things have been building up inside of you for too long. Secrets you thought you'd never share with another soul are bubbling to the surface begging for release. And where better to let it all out (/laugh at someone else's misfortune) than on the internet. Fesshole is a Twitter account (@fesshole) which allows people to anonymously confess their innermost thoughts, deepest, darkest secrets, and their most outrageously funny faux pas - but will the online world absolve you of your sins? This book contains the greatest confessions to date, and a whole heap of new ones. After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?

When you're feeling disappointed or just a little blue, there's nothing like good a laugh at some groanworthy jokes to raise the spirits - and that's what you'll get with this whopping compendium. With all-time classic subjects such as bankers, the battle of the sexes and Doctor, Doctor, as well as cheeky wordplay and one-liners, Nick Harris has collected together a bumper crop of mirth to turn that frown upside down!

The perfect gift for Christmas! Hundreds of hilarious and hypothetical questions for anyone aged 6 to 106 who's obsessed with the heroes and villains from movies, legends and comic books. Would you rather have web shooters or Thor's hammer? Would you rather take the Hulk or Venom home to meet your family? And would you rather wear Iron Man's suit to the beach or to bed?! The perfect brain-stretcher for anyone bored home alone, off on a long journey or looking for an easy party game, The Bumper Book of Would You Rather?: Heroes and Villains Edition is guaranteed to provide hours of entertainment this Christmas.

Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world's greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

The joke is a literary genre: a folksy interpretation of a short story. Clever readers looking for more than a rudimentary punch line, lovers of "shaggy dog stories," as well as those who appreciate lighthearted insights into personal relationships, send-ups of human folly, and our preoccupation with sex will find these amusing jokes enormously entertaining.

'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away.

Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine.

• If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle
• The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.”
• Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent
• Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!”
• Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno

This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.

We're not implying anything but... It's time for a bit of no-nonsense advice in the form of some choice expletive-laden life lessons. This small but f*cking mighty tome is just the tonic to set you on the path to being an awesome human, and will teach YOU how not to be a D*CK.