The best dad joke book you'll ever read. Yes, it's that bad. As the ancient adage goes, 'A good dad joke is as bad as a bad dad joke'. On that fuzzy logic alone, 100 per cent of the 180+ dad jokes in this book are pure comedy gold. The jokes included in this tiny tome are revered by dads all over the world - that's how bad they are. Some jokes are old, some are new, some are unrepeatable - but all of them are worn out and tired. If you're a dad, you'll love them. If you're buying it for your dad, don't worry, the book is little for a purpose: should the urge to throw it down the toilet arise, it'll fit in one flush. Like dads themselves, these dad jokes are absolute stinkers. They haven't showered or gone to the gym in a while and, due to bloating, haven't seen their funny bones in a long time. But, like dads themselves, you'd miss them if you didn't hear them every once in a while. They are loveable in their own charming way. But, remember, don't eat all these jokes at once - you'll have a severe nervous breakdown. You have been warned!

From the cocreator of the celebrated Big Book of Jewish Humor comes a "funny...geezer-licious" (Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts) collection of jokes about growing older that makes fun of memory loss, marriages, medicine, sex, the afterlife, and much more--a perfect gift for almost anyone who was born before you were. Growing older can be unsettling and surprising. (How on earth did this happen? Where did the years go?) So what better way to deal with this new stage of life than to laugh about your new reality? Die Laughing includes more than enough jokes (not to mention cartoons!) to let that laughter burst out. Whether it's dealing with doctors, dating in one's seventies, or unexpected bodily changes (not to mention funny noises), some things are easier to face with a smile of recognition. That's why Die Laughing is the perfect gift for your parents, anyone celebrating a significant birthday, or any boomer with a sense of humor whose age begins with a six or higher.

Hundreds and Hundreds of Jokes that Will Drive Your Family Crazy Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dads tell. (Well, at least he thinks they're hilarious . . .) Have you ever noticed when you're out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered "yes" to any of the following, you're not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad's persona. This comedic compendium compiles more than eight hundred of the best jokes dads can use to hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the least funny/most "punny" guy in the room.

Humour permeates our lives. People tell jokes, make puns, and engage in witty banter. There is written humour in headlines and captions, in ads, on signs, t-shirts, and bumper stickers, and in the form of graffiti. Nowadays humour is available on the web and circulated by e-mail. "Playing with Words" shows how every facet of language is exploited for humour. Where a word has multiple meanings or sounds like another, this is the basis for puns (A boiled egg is hard to beat). The word-building rules are used for clever compounds, smart blends and catchy phrases as in circulated by word of mouse. Ambiguities in the syntax afford further scope for humour (Miners refuse to work after death), and the sounds of words can be exploited in humorous verse. There is also humour to be found in slips of the tongue, malapropisms, and funny misspellings. "Playing with Words" also covers the subject matter of humour and the part it plays in society. It is an informed account in non-technical language, full of examples, a book to be read for information and for fun.

The perfect gift for Christmas! Hundreds of hilarious hypothetical questions for anyone aged 6 to 106 who loves princess movies, stories and fairy tales. Would you rather have Harry Styles as your fairy godmother or Ariana Grande? Would you rather be a wayfinder like Moana or an archer like Merida? And would you rather have Rapunzel's hair growing from your armpits or growing from your toes?! The perfect brain-stretcher for anyone bored home alone, off on a long journey or looking for an easy party game, The Bumper Book of Would You Rather?: Princes and Princesses Edition is guaranteed to provide you with hours of entertainment this Christmas.

Stick this bestselling shopping list notepad on your fridge and check off depleted items as you run out, then replenish with ease and certainty when next you shop. 6 x 9-inch, 60 sheet notepad with magnet on back. Who hasn't wandered blindly at the grocery store, trying to remember what to buy? A great gift for any head of household Never forget the milk again with the perfect grocery list pad

When a man becomes a dad, he takes on certain responsibilities: providing for his family, raising up his children to be good citizens--and telling the absolute worst jokes he can come up with. But dad jokes don't always come naturally, which is why Sandy Silverthorne created The Best Worst Dad Jokes. Filled with more than 500 groan worthy jokes to torment your kids, this collection makes it possible for dads to fill any moment of dead air with a joke that will have everyone within hearing distance rolling their eyes and edging away to avoid association with you. Jokes like . . . I don't have a dad bod; I have a father figure. I saw a sign that said Watch for Children. That sounded like a good trade to me. and of course . . . When does a joke become a dad joke? When it's fully groan. And hey, it's only downhill from there.

'Puerile, reprehensible and very, very funny' Adam Kay 'I love Fesshole. Every single one is a masterclass in storytelling' Jay Rayner 'Hilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like' David Schneider 'The wild, the wonderful, the frankly unbelievable and the downright disgusting. Under the anonymity of the internet people confess their most embarrassing secrets and it might not be good for their souls, but it's great for the readers!' Richard K Herring It's confession time, folks! Things have been building up inside of you for too long. Secrets you thought you'd never share with another soul are bubbling to the surface begging for release. And where better to let it all out (/laugh at someone else's misfortune) than on the internet. Fesshole is a Twitter account (@fesshole) which allows people to anonymously confess their innermost thoughts, deepest, darkest secrets, and their most outrageously funny faux pas - but will the online world absolve you of your sins? This book contains the greatest confessions to date, and a whole heap of new ones. After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! What are dad jokes? Short, simple one-liners that are fairly clean. Anyone can tell dad jokes, but they are best told by dads. Now The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here and inside you'll find: - More puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling - Hundreds of dad jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse. These jokes are so funny you won't even see them coming!

Works on Jewish humor and Jewish jokes abound today, but what formed the basis for our contemporary notions of Jewish jokes? How and when did these perceptions develop? In this groundbreaking study and translation, noted humor and folklore scholar Elliott Oring introduces us to the joke collections of Lippmann Moses Buschenthal, an enlightened rabbi, and an unknown author writing as "Judas Ascher." Originally published in German in 1812 and 1810, these books include jokes and anecdotes that play on stereotypes. The jokes depict Jews dealing with Gentiles who are bent on their conversion, Jews encountering government officials and institutions, newly propertied Jews attempting to demonstrate their acquisition of artistic and philosophical knowledge, and Jews engaged in trade and moneylending-often with the aim to defraud. In these jokes we see the antecedents of modern Jewish humor, and in Buschenthal's brief introduction we find perhaps the earliest theory of the Jewish joke. Oring provides helpful annotations for the jokes and contextualizing essays that examine the current state of Jewish joke scholarship and the situation of the Jews in France and Germany leading up to the periods when the two collections were published. Intended to stimulate the search for even earlier examples, Oring challenges us to confront the Jewish joke from a genuine historical perspective.

Works on Jewish humor and Jewish jokes abound today, but what formed the basis for our contemporary notions of Jewish jokes? How and when did these perceptions develop? In this groundbreaking study and translation, noted humor and folklore scholar Elliott Oring introduces us to the joke collections of Lippmann Moses Büschenthal, an enlightened rabbi, and an unknown author writing as "Judas Ascher." Originally published in German in 1812 and 1810, these books include jokes and anecdotes that play on stereotypes. The jokes depict Jews dealing with Gentiles who are bent on their conversion, Jews encountering government officials and institutions, newly propertied Jews attempting to demonstrate their acquisition of artistic and philosophical knowledge, and Jews engaged in trade and moneylending—often with the aim to defraud. In these jokes we see the antecedents of modern Jewish humor, and in Büschenthal's brief introduction we find perhaps the earliest theory of the Jewish joke. Oring provides helpful annotations for the jokes and contextualizing essays that examine the current state of Jewish joke scholarship and the situation of the Jews in France and Germany leading up to the periods when the two collections were published. Intended to stimulate the search for even earlier examples, Oring challenges us to confront the Jewish joke from a genuine historical perspective.

THE NEW COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES Q: What do cars spread on their toast? A: Traffic jam. The hit Instagram page @DadSaysJokes returns with an all-new batch of hilarious dad jokes to share with friends and family. Back by popular demand, with hundreds of gags for every occasion, Dad Jokes: The Priceless Edition is the perfect gift for Father's Day, birthdays, Christmastime and beyond. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with over 5 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme Instagram page @Pubity with its 31 million followers. This is his fifth book.

Where the Sidewalk Ends turns forty To celebrate this anniversary of Shel Silverstein's outrageous and profound classic poetry collection, the jacket features an eye-catching commemorative red sticker. This special edition, with twelve extra poems, was first published in 2004 and is a timeless bestseller.

Where the sidewalk ends, Shel Silverstein's world begins. There you'll meet a boy who turns into a TV set and a girl who eats a whale. The Unicorn and the Bloath live there, and so does Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout who will not take the garbage out. It is a place where you wash your shadow and plant diamond gardens, a place where shoes fly, sisters are auctioned off, and crocodiles go to the dentist.

Shel Silverstein's masterful collection of poems and drawings is one of Parent & Child magazine's 100 Greatest Books for Kids. School Library Journal said, "Silverstein has an excellent sense of rhythm and rhyme and a good ear for alliteration and assonance that make these poems a pleasure to read aloud."

Shel Silverstein's incomparable career as a children's book author and illustrator began with Lafcadio, the Lion Who Shot Back. In 1964, Shel's creativity continued to flourish as four more books were published in the same year--Don't Bump the Glump , A Giraffe and a Half, Who Wants a Cheap Rhinoceros?, and the beloved classic The Giving Tree. Later he continued to build his remarkable body of work with Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, Falling Up, Every Thing On It, The Missing Piece, The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, and Runny Babbit.

Supports the Common Core State Standards.