A collection of jokes that combines favourite, classic Scottish oldies with fresh jokes about our favorite stereotypes that make you laugh. It presents an irreverent view of Scotland and the Scots. Gentle, vintage humour. If you're looking for answers to questions like: 'How do you get a Highlander onto the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house' and 'what clothes should I take for a trip to Scotland? All of them.' then look no further than this book.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow!

Golf got its name because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Here's the most massive melding of mirth ever minted! Hundreds of jokes, stories, and other tomfoolery on every subject from cars to kids, from sports to business, from politics to the Pearly Gates. Tell'em to your friends or keep'em to yourself -- this book has more jokes than Lessie has fleas!

How do you save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head!

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

C'mon. You can do it. Take this book to the cash register -- and take home enough jokes to meet your minimum daily humor requirement for the whole millennium!

The ability to laugh, especially the ability to laugh at ourselves, is a uniquely human characteristic. One of the greatest sources of humor can be religion, for religion offers us an opportunity to laugh at ourselves at our most serious. And Jesus taught us that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. "Unless you become like little children," he said, "you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Author Tom Sheridan begins by discussing the importance of laughter and the relationship of humor to religion before launching into the hilarious jokes.

Gaming just got a whole lot funnier. What was the console gamer's New Year’s resolution? 1280x720. Why did Frogger cross the road? Because after an hour and a half you’ve finally completed the level. Why would a grown-up want to play Pokémon Go? Wynaut? This is a joke book for anyone who knows that AAA isn’t just a battery type, you don’t need scissors to do some crafting and that you don’t have to go outdoors to try camping. *Parental guidance: Occasional fruity language and jokes of a sexual nature*

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A JOKE?
Better yet, do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of THOUSANDS OF JOKES and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from ACCOUNTANTS TO ZEBRAS, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
-Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? "He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! "
-A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
-Where do you get virgin wool from? "An ugly sheep!"
-What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? ""Oh look! Donut seeds!"
-The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines--it's believed to have been the work of organized crime.

It's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one.

THE FOURTH COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES Q: How does a penguin build a house? A: Igloos it together. The global Instagram sensation, @DadSaysJokes, returns for another collection of side-splitting gags to share with friends and family. Guaranteed to keep the laughs and groans coming in equal measure, the cheesy jokes inside will not disappoint. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with over 5 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme page @Pubity with its 31 million followers. This is his fourth book.

THREE BOOKS IN ONE A TRIPLE HELPING OF GARFIELD HUMOR
MEANS THREE TIMES THE FUN!
He used to be perfect, but now he's even better! Garfield, the fat cat with the super sized ego, is back in the spotlight, dissing his dimwitted owner Jon - even pilfering his pants. Some cats chase mice; Garfield prefers to take legal action. When down on the farm, the city kitty puts up with-and puts down-Jon and his barnyard brother. No wonder Garfield's often in a bad mood.
But no matter what, he's always in the mood for food!
The GARFIELD FAT CAT 3-PACK series collects the GARFIELD comic-strip compilation books in a new, full-color format. Garfield may have gone through a few changes, but one thing has stayed the same: his enormous appetite for food and fun. So enjoy some super sized laughs with the insatiable cat, because too much fun is never enough!
GARFIELD BEEFS UP
GARFIELD GETS COOKIN'
GARFIELD EATS CROW

'Puerile, reprehensible and very, very funny' Adam Kay 'I love Fesshole. Every single one is a masterclass in storytelling' Jay Rayner 'Hilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like' David Schneider 'The wild, the wonderful, the frankly unbelievable and the downright disgusting. Under the anonymity of the internet people confess their most embarrassing secrets and it might not be good for their souls, but it's great for the readers!' Richard K Herring It's confession time, folks! Things have been building up inside of you for too long. Secrets you thought you'd never share with another soul are bubbling to the surface begging for release. And where better to let it all out (/laugh at someone else's misfortune) than on the internet. Fesshole is a Twitter account (@fesshole) which allows people to anonymously confess their innermost thoughts, deepest, darkest secrets, and their most outrageously funny faux pas - but will the online world absolve you of your sins? This book contains the greatest confessions to date, and a whole heap of new ones. After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?

Alton Douglas is back! Author of over fifty books, Alton once again trawls through his career as a professional comedian, scriptwriter, TV warm-up artiste, actor and trombonist, to produce a feast of anecdotes, jokes and stories in the same vein as his previous Entertaining Thoughts, Laughs in the Right Place and I Forgot to Tell You. With the emphasis on fun and entertainment, he presents another collection of the curious, humorous and downright strange happenings that have enriched his life, including behind-the-scenes stories of the nice and not-so-nice inhabitants of the world of show business.

'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

Q: Where do cows buy their Christmas presents? A: From CATTLE-logs!

Q: Why did the sailor cross the ocean? A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Why did the Christmas tree quit knitting? A: It couldn't stop dropping its needles!

Get ready for some funny family time! Your children will want to share with friends and family the jokes they find in Super-Funny ROFL Jokes. Chock-full of more than 444 jokes accompanied by humorous illustrations, this book will help your kids grow their confidence as they tell jokes to friends and family. Each title in the Knock-Knock Rocks series includes a special knock-knock section. From silly puns to knock-knock jokes, the fun doesn't end!

Jokes are a perfect format for learning vocabulary, idiomatic expressions, and grammar. Jokes are also designed to be retold. If you learn a joke by heart and tell it to other people, then by doing so you will also learn the grammar and vocabulary involved. The book also contains exercises designed to reveal whether you have understood the joke or not: A joke is presented to you but with the paragraphs mixed up. Your task is to put them in the correct order. The joke has a choice of three punch lines. If you select the correct one, this should be an indicator that you have understood the joke. Several two-line jokes are presented together. The task is to match the first line and the second line. A joke is presented with some key words missing. The task is to insert the right word in the right place. Easy English! is a series of books to help you learn and revise your English with minimal effort. You can improve your English by reading texts in English that you might well normally read in your own language e.g. jokes, personality tests, lateral thinking games, wordsearches. doing short exercises to improve specific areas grammar and vocabulary, i.e. the areas that tend to lead to the most mistakes - the aim is just to focus on what you really need rather than overwhelming yourself with a mass of rules, many of which may have no practical daily value Other books in the Easy English! series include: Wordsearches: Widen Your Vocabulary in English Test Your Personality: Have Fun and Learn Useful Phrases Word games, Riddles and Logic Tests: Tax Your Brain and Boost Your English Top 50 Grammar Mistakes: How to Avoid Them Top 50 Vocabulary Mistakes: How to Avoid Them

The master of mayhem, Matt Groening, will drive you berserk with this crazy collection of crackpot comics. Find out what bizarre secrets lie in the bowels of the Kwik-E-Mart, but beware the effects of the Squishie brain freeze. Witness the outrageous events that take place when Bart manages to have all the teachers deported at Springfield Elementary and they are replaced by substitutes -- Lisa and Martin. Watch Krusty the Clown turn the town upside-down with his new Krustyburger spokesman. See Bart go from zany to brainy as he attempts to outwit, outlast, and outlive both the dramatic return of his arch-nemesis Sideshow Bob and a near-fatal fling into the future. Then, it is Homer's turn to put his life on the line in the most dangerous game show ever invented. Simpsons Comics Madness will have you bouncing off the walls with insane fits of laughter.