It's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one.

Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dad tell. Here are hundreds to crack the whole family up. Have you ever noticed when you're out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered "yes" to any of the following, you're not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad's persona. This comedic canon compiles more than four hundred of the best pseudo-witty quips so that dads can hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits! And many other gut-busting groaners for your amusement! With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the ultimate jokester and the master of all things punny-or just keep it for yourself.

From the man behind the bestselling Mammoth Book of Jokes, an all-new, enormous collection of fantastic jokes - indexed and categorised to help find the right joke for the right occasion, from Bar-Mitzvahs to bar-rooms. Bigger, better, and even bulkier than before, The Mammoth Book of Jokes 2 is the consummate collection, with jokes on every subject under the sun, from lawyers to low-energy light bulbs.

The joke is a literary genre: a folksy interpretation of a short story. Clever readers looking for more than a rudimentary punch line, lovers of "shaggy dog stories," as well as those who appreciate lighthearted insights into personal relationships, send-ups of human folly, and our preoccupation with sex will find these amusing jokes enormously entertaining.

This hilarious collection of over 300 puns, one-liners, and classic jokes dedicated to the fun of RPGs is perfect for you share with your fellow gaming compatriots! Why don't dragons like to eat paladins? They taste lawful. Laugh out loud at over 300 zingy one-liners and eye-rolling puns with this collection of tabletop-based humor, dedicated to the fun of RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, and more! A Dragon Walks into a Bar gives you hours of funny content that will keep you smiling. Whether you use them as inspiration for your level 20 comedian bard to crack wise during battle or if you just want a giggle in between turns, this book has everything you've been looking for.

GOTHAM'S GREATEST GAGS—
BAR NONE!

When it comes to the finest, the far-outest, and the just plain funniest, the jokes start here—in the saloon capital of the world, New York, New York. Jimmy Pritchard, author and veteran NYC bartender, has heard them all from patrons across the oak. In these comedic cocktails, no one is spared, not the Irish or the elderly, not lawyers or blondes, not the handicapped, not sex-crazed animals, not even God. Jimmy brings you over 400 of the best in the house, stirred, shaken, and served inside this one-of-a-kind collection that is downright intoxicating.

THE ONLY BOOK THAT TELLS YOU...

about two Irishmen who walked out of a bar

what has four legs and chases cats

the difference between a bitch and a slut

how to clear out an Iraqi bingo game

the most popular man in a nudist colony

the most popular woman in a nudist colony

why Viagra is like Disney World

the one about the Polish kidnappers

and hundreds more jokes, riddles, stories, and one-liners

They're all here! the hooker, the drunk, the proctologist, the little old lady, the midget, the travelling salesman, the redneck, Helen Keller, the Jewish mother...Jackie 'The Joke Man' Martling knows them all and more. Here are the gems from the private files of the head writer and cast member of THE HOWARD STERN SHOW, the phenomenally popular radio show from America which was the inspiration for Chris Evans. Infamous for knowing every joke in the universe, Martling has dared audiences to start a joke he couldn't finish. Now he takes no prisoners, spares no ethnic or social group, and exhibits not one ounce of good taste in this wildly offensive, all-inclusive and outrageously funny collection of dirty jokes.

As an openly gay comic, Bob Smith broke barriers with an appearance on "The Tonight Show." Now Smith offers up his own original, whine-free perspective on being grown up and gay.In OPENLY BOB, the acclaimed comedian candidly, and humorously, tackles issues facing grown-up gays as they make their place in an overwhelmingly straight society. From bringing your boyfriend home to your father's funeral, to being the only gay couple at a family wedding, to surviving couples counseling, Smith's decidedly wry spin on the events of our lives resonates with keen observation and hilarious truth."So Mom says to me on the phone, 'Just because you're coming home for your father's funeral doesn't mean we can't have fun!'"Sex education, meteor showers, lesbian ventriloquist dummies, fleamarket shopping, body piercing, pot -smoking drag queens, environmental correctness, Judgment Day, Samuel Beckett, Newt Gingrich, Coco Chanel, Sigmund Freud--nothing and no one escapes Smith's incisive eye in this very human collection of comic essays.

The perfect gift for Christmas! Hundreds of hilarious hypothetical questions for anyone aged 6 to 106 who loves princess movies, stories and fairy tales. Would you rather have Harry Styles as your fairy godmother or Ariana Grande? Would you rather be a wayfinder like Moana or an archer like Merida? And would you rather have Rapunzel's hair growing from your armpits or growing from your toes?! The perfect brain-stretcher for anyone bored home alone, off on a long journey or looking for an easy party game, The Bumper Book of Would You Rather?: Princes and Princesses Edition is guaranteed to provide you with hours of entertainment this Christmas.

The ability to laugh, especially the ability to laugh at ourselves, is a uniquely human characteristic. One of the greatest sources of humor can be religion, for religion offers us an opportunity to laugh at ourselves at our most serious. And Jesus taught us that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. "Unless you become like little children," he said, "you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Author Tom Sheridan begins by discussing the importance of laughter and the relationship of humor to religion before launching into the hilarious jokes.

More than 600 jokes, gags and laugh lines, Drawn from one of the most popular features of Reader's Digest magazine, this collection of jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life is just what the doctor ordered.

My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, "we have a drink named after you." The horse says, "what? Eric?" I said, "waiter, what's that in my soup?" he said, "I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another." I'm reading a book called "Sex Before 20." Personally I don't like audiences. I said, "it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places." He said, "well stop going to those places." I call my car flattery. It gets me knowwhere.

If you are looking for jokes that give answers to questions such as: What's the difference between a Kerry wedding and a Kerry wake? Why would Dermot not go to bed on his wedding night? and blessings such as: "May your friends have fine weather for your funeral." and "Better to be a coward for a moment than a dead hero for the rest of your life." then this is it. Irish Jokes provides wit, advice and a lighthearted look at the culture, psyche and society of Ireland and the Irish.

THE SECOND COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES All New Dad Jokes is the second book from the most followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @DadSaysJokes. Now with a following of over 5 million across Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, All New Dad Jokes provides brand new gags guaranteed to leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run network inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking mastermind started his career at the tender age of 14, when he created his original platform, Football.Newz, to serve audiences for the World cup 2014. He has recently added another fourteen platforms in different genres (of which @DadSaysJokes is one). This is his second book. Q: Where do naughty rainbows go? A: Prism.

A hilarious new book of pranks from multi-award-winning actor and comedian MATT LUCAS - star of The Great British Bake Off and creator of Thank You, Baked Potato, an official UK download chart-topper and Amazon bestseller! With laugh-out-loud artwork from Sarah Horne, illustrator of the bestselling Charlie Changes into a Chicken. Perfect for readers age 7+ Do you love to make your friends and family laugh? Thought so! There is nothing like a prank for putting smiles on everyone's faces. So come on and get creative ... Discover super silly pranks to play at home, clever pranks to play when you're out and about, the most hair-raising hoaxes of all time, epic prank fails, the world's greatest pranksters ... and much, much more. Look no further for hours of family-friendly fun and creativity! Also available: My Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Silly Book of Jokes My Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Silly Book of Games

Resign yourself to the great resignation and just say "bye." BYE, I Quit is a blend of satire and encouragement to help you find meaning and humor to get through the workday. If you have had a recent epiphany about quitting your job or know someone who has, this fully illustrated, meme-worthy guidebook offers the inspiration needed to keep your chin up and tap into what really matters in life. (Spoiler: it's not your job). Sample entries include: Affirmations that you are more than just your job Meditations to keep you focused during your 8 a.m. meeting A flowchart to determine if you should send that passive-aggressive email Mantras for when you're burnt out Humorous illustrations of all the little things that bug you at work (seafood in the microwave, anyone?) Step-by-step guides for getting motivated or having a really good Friday Inspirational quotes to help you connect to your true passion and purpose Equal parts hopeful and snarky-okay, fine, it's actually mostly snarky-BYE, I Quit is a great source of inspiration (snarkspiration!) for anyone who dreams of quiet quitting or leaving their job altogether and finding the elusive work-life balance. Also perfect for anyone who just can't stand the hours of nine to five anymore.

The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

My doctor asked me if I drank to excess. I told him I would drink to anything. What is a bear's favourite pasta? Tagliateddy. How do snowmen get to work? By icicle. If laughter is the best medicine, this colossal compendium is an overdose waiting to happen! With gags grouped into sections ranging from babies and birthdays to marriage and music, there's something for everyone in these jest-packed pages. Side effects may include split sides and a sore jaw.

I don't like to brag but I can control a kayak brilliantly. Canoe? 'Pardon' is the only French word that I know. I can only apologise. From Geoff Rowe and the Leicester Comedy Festival comes this brilliant tribute to that most British of jokes, the humble pun. Including a foreword from Dr Oliver Double and a wealth of hilarious (and occasionally groan-inducing) material from some of Britain's finest stand-up comedic talent, All Puns Blazing is a fun and fitting celebration of grassroots UK comedy. Featuring puns from: El Baldiniho - Lovdev Barpaga - Zahra Barri - Adele Cliff - Tony Cowards - Henry Dawe - Pauline Eyre - Friz Frizzle - Masai Graham - Sean Hegarty - Kevin Hudson - Leo Kearse - Colin Leggo - Nigel Lovell - Iain MacDonald - Kat Molinari - Laura Monmoth - Joseph Murphy - Graham Musk - Sean Patrick - Richard Pulsford - Paul Savage - Philip Simon - Rob Thomas - Andrew Tymms - Stevie Vegas - Chris Norton Walker - Darren Walsh - Richard Woolford - Jenan Younis

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow!

Golf got its name because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Here's the most massive melding of mirth ever minted! Hundreds of jokes, stories, and other tomfoolery on every subject from cars to kids, from sports to business, from politics to the Pearly Gates. Tell'em to your friends or keep'em to yourself -- this book has more jokes than Lessie has fleas!

How do you save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head!

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

C'mon. You can do it. Take this book to the cash register -- and take home enough jokes to meet your minimum daily humor requirement for the whole millennium!