A hilarious (or groan-worthy) look at the rite of passage that all dads go through. Do you think your jokes are hilarious, without fail? Ever thought something was sidesplittingly funny only to have the rest of your family look at you with pity and disdain? It probably means that you’ve succumbed to the daft, ill-advised things all Dads say and do – the things you swore you’d never do! – you’ve fallen for Dad-isms. In this hilarious book you’ll find embarrassing anecdotes and true stories, cringeworthy jokes, sayings, quotes and all manner of quirky nonsense that dads come up with to keep you (but mostly him) amused. From excruciating things dads say at weddings to the cheesy phrases that make you sigh but him guffaw, from dad dancing to the crazy things they save up for the most inappropriate moments... these dad-isms are so bad they’re almost good.

The heartwarming and hilarious part-memoir, part-guide from comedian and father-of-six Ashley Blaker, on parenting, adoption and raising children with special needs. ‘We had such a variety of experts visiting our home, we really needed a revolving door. All these professionals would watch our son playing while shaking their heads and making tutting sounds, like builders considering a bad job you wanted them to fix. “Tut tut tut. No speech, disordered social skills, sensory issues. This is going to cost you!!�’ Ashley Blaker has six children, three of whom have an SEN diagnosis. Between endless meetings, countless therapists, public humiliations, failed playdates, surreal monologues and occasional violence, it’s certainly not what anyone would call a ‘normal’ household – but would he want it any other way? Normal Schmormal is part-memoir, part how-to guide, highlighting the many challenges, as well as the hugely rewarding elements, of parenting children with additional needs. Written with humour, compassion and a lot of love, it’s a must-read for parents, carers and teachers of children with SEN, either looking for a bit of support or in need of a very big laugh.

Print catches up with electronic news in this hilarious collection of the fresh and steamy scoops from South Africa's premier satirical online news source. An almost unparalleled blight on international journalism, the selections in this volume make light of the news, politics, and current affairs that are reported with profound seriousness in other media. With a distinctly African focus, from Mugabe to Malema to Gadaffi, these articles have the unanticipated effect of increasing awareness of current affairs, seeing as one may have to research the background information of each story in order to fully appreciate the humor.

There are many monologues books on the market but very few provide rich material for comedy. This collection from up and coming comedian & actress Katy Wix plugs that gap and provides female performers with the kind of wonderfully warm and interesting characters that they need – and deserve. A comedian and writer, Wix has for the past few years been writing audition speeches for students at drama schools including RADA, LAMDA, Drama Centre and The Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama. A book of contemporary comedy monologues does not exist for today's actor or indeed a book comprising solely of showcase speeches. This is a collection of very funny and original audition speeches filling a significant gap in the market: made up of monologues for various age ranges, each with a running time of two to three minutes. The brevity in length makes these ideal for auditions or showcases and the variety in age and style encompasses different comedic approaches; from the very quirky to the more traditional – perfect for every type of performer.

Prepare yourself for a journey through the world of Patton Oswalt, one of the most creative, insightful, and hysterical voices on the entertain-ment scene today. Widely known for his roles in the films "Big Fan "and "Ratatouille, "as well as the television hit "The King of Queens, "Patton Oswalt--a staple of Comedy Central--has been amusing audiences for decades. Now, with "Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, "he offers a fascinating look into his most unusual, and lovable, mindscape.
Oswalt combines memoir with uproarious humor, from snow forts to Dungeons & Dragons to gifts from Grandma that had to be explained. He remem-bers his teen summers spent working in a movie Cineplex and his early years doing stand-up. Readers are also treated to several graphic elements, includ-ing a vampire tale for the rest of us and some greeting cards with a special touch. Then there's the book's centerpiece, which posits that before all young creative minds have anything to write about, they will home in on one of three story lines: zom-bies, spaceships, or wastelands.
Oswalt chose wastelands, and ever since he has been mining our society's wasteland for perversion and excess, pop culture and fatty foods, indie rock and single-malt scotch. "Zombie Spaceship Wasteland "is an inventive account of the evolution of Patton Oswalt's wildly insightful worldview, sure to indulge his legion of fans and lure many new admirers to his very entertaining "wasteland."

An instant New York Times bestseller, I'll Show Myself Out is the eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed debut You’ll Grow Out of It. Longlisted for the PEN Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay “Sometimes I think about how much bad news there is to tell my kid, the endlessly long, looping CVS receipt scroll of truly terrible things that have happened, and I want to get under the bed and never come out. How do we tell them about all this? Can we just play Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire and then brace for questions? The first of which should be, how is this a song that played on the radio?� In New York Times bestselling author and Emmy Award-winning writer and producer Jessi Klein’s second collection, she hilariously explodes the cultural myths and impossible expectations around motherhood and explore the humiliations, poignancies, and possibilities of midlife.  In interconnected essays like “Listening to Beyoncé in the Parking Lot of Party City,� “Your Husband Will Remarry Five Minutes After You Die,� “Eulogy for My Feet,� and “An Open Love Letter to Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent,� Klein explores this stage of life in all its cruel ironies, joyous moments, and bittersweetness. Written with Klein’s signature candor and humanity, I'll Show Myself Out is an incisive, moving, and often uproarious collection.

In another surreal and unprecedented year in which even the most seasoned commentators have struggled to keep pace with the news cycle, letter writers to The Daily Telegraph have once again provided their refreshing and witty take on events. Now in its fourteenth year, this new edition of the best-selling series is a review of the year made up of the wry and astute observations of the unpublished Telegraph letter writers. Readers of the Telegraph Letters Page will be fondly aware of the eclectic combination of learned wisdom, wistful nostalgia and robust good sense of humour that characterise its correspondence - and this volume contains yet more pearls of insight. From Putin and the war in Ukraine to Boris Johnson and Partygate to Liz Truss and the cost of living crisis, no one escapes their hilariously whimsical and sometimes risque musings. With an agenda as enticing as ever, the fourteenth book in the bestselling Unpublished Letters series will prove, once again, that the Telegraph's readers still have a shrewd sense of what really matters.

A charming gift book of pleas, put downs, misplaced career guidance and character assessments collected from the school reports and memoirs of celebrities and ordinary people from across the UK and Ireland. Featuring household names such as Benedict Cumberbatch, David Bowie, Sandi Toksvig, Sir Billy Connolly, and even members of the Royal family, this collection will have readers laughing and digging out their own school reports.

Betty Bendell was one of the top five British women's magazine columnists in the late 1960s and 1970s. She wrote continuously for a range of magazines, including Annabel, Woman, Homes and Gardens, The Lady and The Countryman, but she was most well-known for her long-running columns in Good Housekeeping and Family Circle. She was perceptive, direct and funny, one of the leading comic writers of her day. This collection of the best of Betty Bendell, from Good Housekeeping and other magazines, will delight and amuse. From 'My dollyrocking days are over' (1966) to her last column for GH in 1980, these 87 pieces have been chosen for their glorious humour, their social history and absolute embeddedness in British life in the late 1960s to 1980. Betty recorded her era from the perspective of a mother and a wife at home, in the school playground, at the parties, in the garden, on holiday, in the shops, and queuing at the supermarket, speculating wildly about the lives of her friends and neighbours.

Falling in love is a beautiful thing. The internet, naturally, has taken this beauty and turned it into something deeply, deeply strange. Featuring screenshots from real-life dating conversations, Is This Love or Dopamine? is a hilarious, piercing analysis of the weird-and-not-so-wonderful world of internet dating. @beam_me_up_softboi creator and journalist Iona David explores all the highs, horrors and heartbreaks: from the all-important first DM slide to the inevitable eventual ghosting; from f*ckboys and Tinder anthems to loaded emojis and revenge selfies. Learn what to do if someone uses 'teehee' in a sext (run for the hills) or has a photo of themselves holding a massive fish on their profile (run faster). A dedication to all the hours spent lying in bed/sitting on the toilet swiping until thumb cramp sets in, this book will make you laugh, then cry, then delete your dating app profile, then (obviously) re-download it again. Long live the internet!

Ever wondered what we get up to behind closed doors? This anonymous collection of postcards will show you, in glorious technicolour detail. Following on from her bestselling Lockdown Secrets, queen of postcards Eleanor Tattersfield turns her attention to the sex lives of the nation. This time round, she put out a call on social media for people to reveal their deepest, darkest, funniest and even their most unsavoury sex habits, in postcard form. She was overwhelmed by replies, and the very best of them are collected in this book, hand-crafted and beautifully decorated. You'll be shocked and seduced by the themes explored, where truly anything goes! Salacious, scurrilous and very definitely saucy, this book is not for the faint-hearted but provides a fascinating record of how we take our pleasures.

This year we are in for a treat, with Madam & Eve back with more cartoons looking at domestic life and politics in the New South Africa.

Madam & Eve cartoons appear regularly in the Mail & Guardian, The Star, The Saturday Star, Herald, Mercury, Witness, Daily Dispatch, Cape Times, Pretoria News, Diamond Fields Advertiser, Die Volksblad, EC Today, Kokstad Advertiser and The Namibian.

THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER This is Going to Hurt was the publishing phenomenon of the century, read by many millions, loved by at least fifty of them, and adapted into a major TV series. But it was only part of the story. By turns hilarious, heartbreaking and humbling, Undoctored is about what happens when a doctor hangs up his scrubs, but medicine refuses to let go of him. It's about an extraordinary medical school education. It's about opening old wounds and examining the present-day scars. It's about hospital admissions and personal ones. It's about blowing up your life and stitching it back together. It's about being a doctor and being a patient. It's about 300 pages long. Undoctored is Adam Kay's funniest and most moving book yet - an astonishing portrait of a life in and out of medicine, from one of Britain's finest storytellers.

Once upon a badtime... In these explosive, hysterical comics, Dr Jeykll and Mr Snide, Little Miss Muffet and Little Red Riding Hood run wild in chaotic retellings of beloved tales. These anarchic, frenzied comics stories from the pen of Leo Baxendale are the arguably the jewel of the British humour comics, beloved by many for their DIY storybook aesthetic when they were originally printed in Monster Fun. Now, in this stunning new collection, the comics are restored to their full glory, while reprinted in a smaller style to retain the intimate feel of the originals. Crammed with gags and hidden details, these Badtime Bedtime Stories are the perfect late night read for kids and grown ups!

The sequel to 5,000 Great One-Liners Praise for 5,000 Great One-Liners: "It'ss an admirable gift, being able to compress wit and wisdom into a trenchant sentence or so, and Grant Tucker has harvested the world's best - an Olympiad of linguistic play." Daily Mail If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. My co-worker just announced he's getting married. I told him how happy my marriage has made me. But he's still going through with it anyway. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here." The cashier told me, "Strip down, facing me." How was I to know she meant my debit card? Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his food before it was cool. Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you've got it made. After making us laugh out loud with 5,000 Great One-Liners, Grant Tucker goes one better with this uproarious sequel! More One-Liners is another hilarious volume of the finest quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks known to humanity. From twists on the classics to modern greats, from A-grade antics to X-rated gags, from jokes you could tell your mother to jokes about yo momma, there's something short, sweet and wickedly clever for everyone in this definitive volume.

Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including:

• "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw
• "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein
• "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali

You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool.

So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.

'The poet laureate of lists' John Mitchinson, QI Elf 'Brilliant, hilarious fun from a master wordsmith - you will LOVE this book' Kit de Waal Join wordsmith Adam Sharp as he journeys around the world in idioms, proverbs and general nonsense. Learn unusual insults from France (You are a potato with the face of a guinea pig), how to hurry someone up in the US (You're going as slow as molasses in January) and what they call a shark in Vietnam (fat fish). Full of fascinating, ridiculous and hilarious translations from around the world, Adam has rounded up the very best of what every corner of the globe has to offer. Let's get this show on the road! Or: Let's saddle the chickens! (German) On with the butter! (Icelandic) Forward with the goat! (Dutch)

A timely new edition featuring the brilliant work from among the most inventive minds in illustration and cartoon wizardry. Heath Robinson was one of Britain's most successful graphic artists. His work has had a huge influence on comic art in this country, but also on the image and self-image of the British. As the champion of pragmatic man, Heath Robinson presented a vision of the British as an unflappable, ingenious and slightly demented breed of inventors that persists to the present day. The British are still a nation of garage-haunting amateur engineers who will recognise the inhabitants of Heath Robinson's world, with their pot bellies and pots of tea, archaic faces and sturdily commonsensical approach to the problems of existence. How to hunt tigers by elephant, how to get an even tan, rise with the sun or put out a chimney fire, these and many more pressing questions are answered in the pages of Contraptions. With illustrations salvaged from the family archives and commentary by Heath Robinson expert, Geoffrey Beare, Contraptions is the best possible introduction to the work of one of Britain's great comic talents.

Friends? Romans? Countrymen?You never know whom you'll have to impressat your next corporate shindig or keg party.Whatever the target audience, mental_floss knows staring facedown into the punch bowl isn't the trick. In fact, that's exactly why we're handing you Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets--a totally effective, foolproof guide to starting and sustaining conversations on every topic under the sun. Want to wax wise about barbarians, socialist theory, and jazz musicians? What about Keynesian economics, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and James Joyce's Ulysses? Well, it's all right here in front of you.We've jam-packed this book with jaw-dropping facts and hysterical anecdotes that are sure to please. So go ahead and stock up for your next soiree. We're not guaranteeing it will make you the most knowledgeable person in the room . . . just the most interesting.

Know someone who's as dramatic as a soap okra? Champion their 'shiitake happens' attitude with this little book of upbeat and adorkable fruit puns. #tatersgonnatate About the series This cute and colourful series of fruit-pun-filled gift books are the perfect pick-me-ups for you, your friend or your partner in crime. Do you need to avocuddle, or are you grapeful for someone who's a bit of a melon? Then share the clove with these little books: AvoCuddle, WhataMelon, You are my Raisin for Living, Don't Give a Fig, I am Grapeful, You are 24 Carrot Gold. *veg, nuts and seeds are fair game

The best dad joke book you'll ever read. Yes, it's that bad. As the ancient adage goes, 'A good dad joke is as bad as a bad dad joke'. On that fuzzy logic alone, 100 per cent of the 180+ dad jokes in this book are pure comedy gold. The jokes included in this tiny tome are revered by dads all over the world - that's how bad they are. Some jokes are old, some are new, some are unrepeatable - but all of them are worn out and tired. If you're a dad, you'll love them. If you're buying it for your dad, don't worry, the book is little for a purpose: should the urge to throw it down the toilet arise, it'll fit in one flush. Like dads themselves, these dad jokes are absolute stinkers. They haven't showered or gone to the gym in a while and, due to bloating, haven't seen their funny bones in a long time. But, like dads themselves, you'd miss them if you didn't hear them every once in a while. They are loveable in their own charming way. But, remember, don't eat all these jokes at once - you'll have a severe nervous breakdown. You have been warned!

This is the Yorkshire edition of the humorous dictionary of toponymy and etymology, created by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd. If you opened this book expecting to find a variety of quaint thee and thy-based colloquialisms with the odd "ee-by-gum" and "tha'll be reet" thrown in for good measure, you may be a little disappointed...However, if you picked up this book because you're curious about things for which no words exist, and have a mild interest in random Yorkshire villages with quirky names - then you're in luck! The Yorkshire Meaning of Liff twins some of the obscurely wonderful, often unheard of and wastefully under-used place names of this glorious county, with the numerous experiences, feelings, situations and objects which we all know but, for some reason, have no words attributed to them. In no time at all you could be waxing lyrical about your most recent denaby main; empathising with friends who have also suffered a grimston, or expressing a whiston acquired during a state of galphay...