Know someone who's as dramatic as a soap okra? Champion their 'shiitake happens' attitude with this little book of upbeat and adorkable fruit puns. #tatersgonnatate About the series This cute and colourful series of fruit-pun-filled gift books are the perfect pick-me-ups for you, your friend or your partner in crime. Do you need to avocuddle, or are you grapeful for someone who's a bit of a melon? Then share the clove with these little books: AvoCuddle, WhataMelon, You are my Raisin for Living, Don't Give a Fig, I am Grapeful, You are 24 Carrot Gold. *veg, nuts and seeds are fair game

A charming gift book of pleas, put downs, misplaced career guidance and character assessments collected from the school reports and memoirs of celebrities and ordinary people from across the UK and Ireland. Featuring household names such as Benedict Cumberbatch, David Bowie, Sandi Toksvig, Sir Billy Connolly, and even members of the Royal family, this collection will have readers laughing and digging out their own school reports.

Christmas comes but once a year... and in the world of the grumpy bloke, that’s once too often! But turn that frown upside down with the hundreds of jokes and one-liners in this book of festive fun. There’s nothing like a good laugh to chase away the winter blues or cheer yourself up and, let’s face it, some people need it more than others! Make sure the grumpy bloke in your life is well entertained (even when he really doesn’t want to be) by the gags and jokes in this whopping compendium of Christmas funnies from a veritable master of the art, Nick Harris. From Christmas jumpers to sad-sack Santas and from broken tree lights to shocking Christmas dinners, there are jokes aplenty to raise a smile in even the grumpiest bloke ... okay then, a chortle ... the merest hint of an upturned lip ...? Oh, come on, it’s FUNNY!

The best dad joke book you'll ever read. Yes, it's that bad. As the ancient adage goes, 'A good dad joke is as bad as a bad dad joke'. On that fuzzy logic alone, 100 per cent of the 180+ dad jokes in this book are pure comedy gold. The jokes included in this tiny tome are revered by dads all over the world - that's how bad they are. Some jokes are old, some are new, some are unrepeatable - but all of them are worn out and tired. If you're a dad, you'll love them. If you're buying it for your dad, don't worry, the book is little for a purpose: should the urge to throw it down the toilet arise, it'll fit in one flush. Like dads themselves, these dad jokes are absolute stinkers. They haven't showered or gone to the gym in a while and, due to bloating, haven't seen their funny bones in a long time. But, like dads themselves, you'd miss them if you didn't hear them every once in a while. They are loveable in their own charming way. But, remember, don't eat all these jokes at once - you'll have a severe nervous breakdown. You have been warned!

The Mr Men and Little Miss have been tickling children for generations with their funny and charming antics. This series gives adults the chance to laugh along as the Mr Men and Little Miss try to cope with the very grown-up world around them. Featuring Roger Hargreaves classic artwork alongside hilariously funny new text. Some of the Little Misses are going to be mums and they're approaching the news in the only way they know how. Little Miss Curious has a million questions, Little Miss Tidy is planning the perfect birth and nursery and Little Miss Greedy is eating her body weight in pickles. Will pregnancy and new motherhood be all they expect it to be? The perfect book for any mum-to-be who is excited and nervous about what motherhood might bring.

A return to the wit and wisdom of Boris Johnson - Brexiteer, Foreign Secretary, Prime Minister. New and updated edition. 2019 - the year that Boris took on the 'lingering gloomadon-poppers', pledged to steer the UK between the 'Scylla and Charybdis of Corbyn and Farage' and into the calmer waters of political freedom. Of course there was always bound to be 'a bit of plaster coming off the ceilings of Europe's Chanceries'. Harry Mount has updated his edited collection of the Prime Minister's wit and wisdom with three new chapters dealing with Boris's time as Brexiteer-in-chief; Foreign Secretary and 'On the Threshold of Downing Street'. He describes Boris's Brexit campaign, his leadership breakdown in 2016, his ups and downs as Foreign Secretary, his time outside the political establishment, his turbulent private life and how Boris felt it was his manifest destiny to become the prime minister. So buckle up for a riotous tour of the million-pound NHS funder, golden wonder, pro-having, pro-eating blond behemoth. This is the Wit and Wisdom of Boris Johnson.

The sequel to 5,000 Great One-Liners Praise for 5,000 Great One-Liners: "It'ss an admirable gift, being able to compress wit and wisdom into a trenchant sentence or so, and Grant Tucker has harvested the world's best - an Olympiad of linguistic play." Daily Mail If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. My co-worker just announced he's getting married. I told him how happy my marriage has made me. But he's still going through with it anyway. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here." The cashier told me, "Strip down, facing me." How was I to know she meant my debit card? Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his food before it was cool. Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you've got it made. After making us laugh out loud with 5,000 Great One-Liners, Grant Tucker goes one better with this uproarious sequel! More One-Liners is another hilarious volume of the finest quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks known to humanity. From twists on the classics to modern greats, from A-grade antics to X-rated gags, from jokes you could tell your mother to jokes about yo momma, there's something short, sweet and wickedly clever for everyone in this definitive volume.

An insult can be offensive and infuriating, but we've all had those moments where we just wish we had come up with a good one. Even better, having the
perfect comeback to one of these rude remarks brings us all the personal
satisfaction in the world. 1001 Insults, Put-downs, & Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, along with many others, including:
"He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world."
--Anna Quindlen on Paul McCartney
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."--Groucho Marx
"When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?"--David Letterman
Clare Booth Luce stood aside and gestured Dorothy Parker to precede her through a door, saying "Age before beauty." Parker swept on, saying only
"Pearls before swine."
"George Steinbrenner is the center of evil in the universe."
--Ben Affleck on the New York Yankees owner

Real Owls Don't Bark is a charming, quirky, and sometimes deeply moving collection of true stories that will convince anyone that who we are and what matters is often shaped by the most ordinary people and events we encounter in our daily lives. Drawn from years of hilarious and thoughtful travelogues he wrote as a communications consultant, author Paul Heagen provides intriguing insights into communications in business and life as you journey with him when he learns: * The generosity of a toothless fruit vendor in Hong Kong * The importance of getting out of your element during a biker rally in Nevada * The value of context from a memorable round of golf in the morning fog * The role of significance from an elderly Parisian couple's modest wooden jewelry box Whether you're a parent, a professional, or just a person who likes to think more about the everyday events in our lives, Real Owls Don't Bark will help you understand that all of us have stories that have a lasting influence in our lives, as well as the lives of others. 'A witty and charming velvet hammer for what really matters in life. you turn each page if you'll laugh or cry, but you'll definitely think. -Mary Nixon, Vice President-Finance, KFC 'This is a must-read for any leader-or anyone, for that matter-who is open to what everyday life can teach us. -Mike Monahan, Executive Director, Life Success Seminars

Boris Johnson, the UK's new Prime Minister, has ruled out holding an early general election. But, as we've seen, anything can happen in today's politics. There are few politicians who could genuinely be described as a phenomenon. Boris Johnson is undoubtedly one. With a shake of that foppish blond mop, a glimmer of his madcap smile and the voice of a demented public school boy, Boris provides comedy gold every time he opens his erudite mouth. The allure of this blundering rapscallion to many on the Tory benches and to the membership of the Conservative Party at large is all too obvious. He says what few others will say in public and, indeed, he will do so on the record - appearing to care little what people think of him or his views. This book is big on fun, comedy, life and spirit. Containing a selection of the very finest Boris-isms and illustrated by specially commissioned cartoons, The Big Book of Boris is a highly amusing read, straight from the gaffe-strewn mouth of Britain's most colourful politician.

A celebration of failures, doom, disaster, mistakes, miscalculations, hubris, folly and really, really bad albums. Written by the author of the cult hit, Crap Towns. Most books celebrate the exceptions rather than the rule. They focus on the over-achievers, the unique and strange success stories. They don't provide a fair reflection of the general tide of history - but they do make your average reader feel, well, more average. The 10 Worst of Everything redresses this imbalance and shows that you maybe shouldn't take it too badly if your own plans aren't working out. And there's nearly always someone worse off than you. Which is reassuring, if nothing else. This is a fascinating compendium of disappointing facts about the world, vital information about places to avoid, mind-boggling information about medicine, history and science, pop culture misses, as well as all the daft things we do to each other. It will help to prove the old adage that you can always learn more from failure than you can from success. And hey, even if you don't want to boost your brain, there's still the fun of watching other people go wrong.

The Encyclopedia of Black Folklore and Humor presents a well-rounded social history of the African-American, and demonstrates very graphically in each of its seven sections the close relationship between folklore and history.

This is the Yorkshire edition of the humorous dictionary of toponymy and etymology, created by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd. If you opened this book expecting to find a variety of quaint thee and thy-based colloquialisms with the odd "ee-by-gum" and "tha'll be reet" thrown in for good measure, you may be a little disappointed...However, if you picked up this book because you're curious about things for which no words exist, and have a mild interest in random Yorkshire villages with quirky names - then you're in luck! The Yorkshire Meaning of Liff twins some of the obscurely wonderful, often unheard of and wastefully under-used place names of this glorious county, with the numerous experiences, feelings, situations and objects which we all know but, for some reason, have no words attributed to them. In no time at all you could be waxing lyrical about your most recent denaby main; empathising with friends who have also suffered a grimston, or expressing a whiston acquired during a state of galphay...

One thing that unites us all – across time, nations and peoples – is food. From chocolate, rice pudding and sandwiches to breakfast in bed, banana phones and the fruit of a mythical jelabi tree, A.F. Harrold has brought together a wonderful and diverse collection of poems on the topic of food.

Beautifully illustrated in full colour by rising star Katy Riddell (daughter of former Children's Laureate, Chris Riddell), this rich and delicious anthology brings together work from a broad range of poets, including the magically observant William Carlos Williams, award-winning Joseph Coelho and the inspiring Sabrina Mahfouz. Whether you're in the mood for a perfect bowl of yoghurt or a pomegranate omelette, these poems will satisfy any food craving. The perfect gift for any poetry or food lover!

Milt Gross (1895-1953), a Bronx-born cartoonist and animator, first found fame in the late 1920s, writing comic strips and newspaper columns in the unmistakable accent of Jewish immigrants. By the end of the 1920s, Gross had become one of the most famous humorists in the United States, his work drawing praise from writers like H. L. Mencken and Constance Roarke, even while some of his Jewish colleagues found Gross' extreme renderings of Jewish accents to be more crass than comical.

Working during the decline of vaudeville and the rise of the newspaper cartoon strip, Gross captured American humor in transition. Gross adapted the sounds of ethnic humor from the stage to the page and developed both a sound and a sensibility that grew out of an intimate knowledge of immigrant life. His parodies of beloved poetry sounded like reading primers set loose on the Lower East Side, while his accounts of Jewish tenement residents echoed with the mistakes and malapropisms born of the immigrant experience.

Introduced by an historical essay, Is Diss a System? presents some of the most outstanding and hilarious examples of Jewish dialect humor drawn from the five books Gross published between 1926 and 1928--"Nize Baby," "De Night in de Front from Chreesmas," "Hiawatta, Dunt Esk," and "Famous Fimmales"--providing a fresh opportunity to look, read, and laugh at this nearly forgotten forefather of American Jewish humor.

Comedian and star of The Office and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Ellie Kemper delivers a hilarious and uplifting collection of essays about one pale woman's journey from Midwestern naif to Hollywood semi-celebrity to outrageously reasonable New Yorker. There comes a time in every sitcom actress's life when she is faced with the prospect of writing a book. When Ellie Kemper's number was up, she was ready. Contagiously cheerful, predictably wholesome, and mostly inspiring except for one essay about her husband's feet, My Squirrel Days is a funny, free-wheeling tour of Ellie's life-from growing up in suburban St. Louis with a vivid imagination and a crush on David Letterman to moving to Los Angeles and accidentally falling on Doris Kearns Goodwin. But those are not the only famous names dropped in this synopsis. Ellie will also share stories of inadvertently insulting Ricky Gervais at the Emmy Awards, telling Tina Fey that she has "great hair-really strong and thick," and offering a maxi pad to Steve Carell. She will take you back to her childhood as a nature lover determined to commune with squirrels, to her college career as a benchwarming field hockey player with no assigned position, and to her young professional days writing radio commercials for McDonald's but never getting paid. Ellie will guide you along her journey through adulthood, from unorganized bride to impatient wife to anxious mother who-as recently observed by a sassy hairstylist-"dresses like a mom." Well, sassy hairstylist, Ellie Kemper is a mom. And she has been dressing like it since she was four. Ellie has written for GQ, Esquire, The New York Times, McSweeney's and The Onion. Her voice is the perfect antidote to the chaos of modern life. In short, she will tell you nothing you need to know about making it in show business, and everything you need to know about discreetly changing a diaper at a Cibo Express.

Owners of this edition will receive access to non-DRM ebook versions of every book in the series--for free The Definitive Brother Juniper is the culmination of The Brother Juniper Rejuvenation Project. This 888-page hardcover (6.14" x 9.21") contains every single cartoon from all eight of the books in the Brother Juniper series. The "Brother Juniper" comic strip was syndicated in newspapers for thirty years and, at its peak, ran in more than 150 dailies world-wide. The comic, created by a seventy-one-year member of the Secular Franciscan Order, received an unprecedented cross-cultural response and was the only religious-themed comic strip to garner international syndication. The Brother Juniper Rejuvenation Project has done pixel-level remastering of the eight-book series using the highest caliber archival materials in order to present Brother Juniper with a degree of quality never before seen. Also, the Extended Editions supply readers with a breadth of supplementary content that traditional paper publishers are unable to produce. The creator, Father Justin 'Fred' McCarthy sums up the timeless appeal of Brother Juniper: "Take someone from the Middle Ages, put him in a modern setting and you have something funny right there. He's Catholic with a small 'c'. He's always trying to help people but always slipping on a banana peel. Characters like Brother Juniper, and Charlie Brown, lose the battle but win the war."

John Stanford’s anecjokes are yarns against adversity, told with elegance and wry humour.

Spanning half a century from the 1930s to the 1980s, they range from the psychology of sheep to frozen tractor valves to ancestral aunts. Many of the same characters re-appear, forming a patchwork of stories that becomes a rich and lively portrait of both an extended family and a farming community.

Did you know that prairie dogs kiss more often if humans are watching? That people who have just ridden an "up" escalator are twice as likely to donate to charity as those descending? Such perverse nuggets of scientific discovery are assembled in "Findings," the bizarre and beloved back-page column of Harper's Magazine. Now, these surreal shards of knowledge take on new life in delightful illustrations by Graham Roumieu (author of cult classic In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot). In the tradition of Schott's Miscellany and The New Yorker cartoon compendia, FINDINGS is funny, informative, and occasionally wondrous. FINDINGS is written by Harper's contributor Rafil Kroll-Zaidi, with prefatory remarks by Patton Oswalt.

Named One of the Most Anticipated Books of 2022 by Vogue, BuzzFeed, Bustle, Marie Claire, Harper's Bazaar, Electric Lit, Thrillist, Glamour, CNN, and Shondaland "Wickedly funny and heartstoppingly vulnerable...every page twinkles with brilliance." -Refinery29 Perfect for fans of Samantha Irby and Trick Mirror, a funny, whip-smart collection of personal essays exploring the intersection of queerness, relationships, pop culture, the internet, and identity, introducing one of the most undeniably original new voices today. Jill Gutowitz's life-for better and worse-has always been on a collision course with pop culture. There's the time the FBI showed up at her door because of something she tweeted about Game of Thrones. The pop songs that have been the soundtrack to the worst moments of her life. And of course, the pivotal day when Orange Is the New Black hit the airwaves and broke down the door to Jill's own sexuality. In these honest examinations of identity, desire, and self-worth, Jill explores perhaps the most monumental cultural shift of our lifetimes: the mainstreaming of lesbian culture. Dusting off her own personal traumas and artifacts of her not-so-distant youth she examines how pop culture acts as a fun house mirror reflecting and refracting our values-always teaching, distracting, disappointing, and revealing us. Girls Can Kiss Now is a fresh and intoxicating blend of personal stories, sharp observations, and laugh-out-loud humor. This timely collection of essays helps us make sense of our collective pop-culture past even as it points the way toward a joyous, uproarious, near-and very queer-future.

Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that 'it's in the way that you tell them', Dads - for the best part of forever - have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it's telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say - jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers - but don't tell your dad that, it'll only encourage him!

Hilariously funny and in many cases unbelievably believable.

From a kid with a chemical laboratory in his bedroom where Peter would operate on frogs, to the hilarious experiences of a hospital Houseman, and the first few years of general practice. Also included are stories of a patient set alight in her bed, being trapped in the toilet with a patient and a colleague being defibrillated! It’s a story of childhood dreams to medical practice tribulations!

Peter Desmarais graduated M.B, Ch.B at the University of Pretoria South Africa in 1971. He relates the funny side of his experiences at medical school, his internship at Addington hospital Durban and the first few years of his life as a general practitioner.