Get ready to see man's best friend from a whole new angle in this hilarious collection of dog photographs. Everyone loves an under dog. And now, for the first time, in this collection of brilliantly hilarious images, we get to be literally under every sort of dog. From Finn the Cockerpoo to Dora the Springer Spaniel and Dave the Bulldog, here are the funny, sweet personality-full images of dogs, along with touching stories and fascinating facts about the different breeds. These sweet, unusual images of dogs reveal their quirky personalities and are the paw-fect gift for the dog lover in your life.

With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please.

These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless f*ckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless f*ckwit... Vicar'.

Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short'. What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal sh*t on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced f*cking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.

Both heart-warming and hilarious, the Heart and Brain comic strip illustrates the internal battle we all face over whether to listen to your heart or use your head. This wall calendar features two entertaining comics for each monthly spread. See if you relate more to the happy-go-lucky Heart, or the thoughtful and analytical Brain. Features include: 12" x 12" (12" x 24" open) Printed on FSC certified paper with soy-based ink Planning spread for September-December 2022 Spans January-December 2023 Generous grid space for notes, appointments, and reminders Official major world holidays and observances Moon phases, based on Universal Time Includes two new comics each month

Writer, broadcaster, and wit Gyles Brandreth has completely revised Ned Sherrin's classic collection of wisecracks, one-liners, and anecdotes. With over 1,000 new quotations from all media, it's easy to find hilarious quotes on subjects ranging from Argument to Diets, from Computers to The Weather. Add sparkle to your speeches and presentations, or just enjoy a good laugh in company with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Joan Rivers, Kathy Lette, Frankie Boyle, and friends. 'Now we have the World Wide Web (the only thing I know of whose shortened form-www-takes three times longer to say than what it's short for)' Douglas Adams 'Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends' Woody Allen 'Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight' Phyllis Diller 'Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit' Elizabeth Gilbert 'The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it' Terry Pratchett 'Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction' American general Oliver P. Smith

Barking Mad taps into the British passion for dogs by bringing together a unique collection of extraordinary, touching and sometimes bizarre but true stories covering sporting dogs (and hounds) military mascots, eccentric companions, war heroes and Royal dogs. Many of the best and most intriguing stories, which date back to the early nineteenth century, have been discovered in long-forgotten books and magazines, but all reflect our enduring passion for man's best friend. Stories include everything from the Labrador that saved its master from drowning to the hound that spent years travelling unaccompanied across Britain by train, and the pooch that carried a penny to the local bakery every day to buy its own cakes. Beautifully illustrated by Nicola L. Robinson this book is a wonderful anthology for all who love man's best friend.

Since the fall of 2014, The Advice King has been one of the most widely read sections of alt-weekly the Nashville Scene. The Advice King Anthology contains the best of those columns, with new In-the-Meantime notes, a new introduction, and a foreword by writer Tracy Moore. If you are looking for traditional advice, this might not be the book for you. But if you care to find the incendiary, subversive, and hilarious alongside actual thoughts about addiction, depression, gentrification, politics, poetry, music, economic policy, living in New Nashville, and (inevitably) romance, the Advice King has much to offer.

Ever since Mrs Malaprop first took to the stage in 1775 and described a gentleman as 'the very pineapple of politeness', some famous figures have become better known for their slips of the tongue than for anything they said intentionally. In particular, the careers of a number of broadcasters, sporting figures and politicians have become defined by their verbal blunders. Former US Vice-President Dan Quayle is remembered solely for making unfortunate remarks such as 'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.' Welsh naturalist Iolo Williams sent Twitter into meltdown when, discussing diving sea birds on Springwatch 2016, he asked a female conservationist: 'Is that the deepest shag you've ever had?' Even respected sports broadcaster Harry Carpenter was probably haunted forever by his seemingly innocent comment at the end of the 1977 Boat Race: 'Ah, isn't that nice? The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.' I Wish I Hadn't Said That is a collection of over 3,000 spoken and written blunders - including unintentional double entendres, spoonerisms, mixed metaphors, malapropisms, jaw-dropping remarks, misguided quiz show answers, embarrassing newspaper misprints, and foreign signs and notices that have sadly become lost in translation.

Comedian and star of The Office and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Ellie Kemper delivers a hilarious and uplifting collection of essays about one pale woman's journey from Midwestern naif to Hollywood semi-celebrity to outrageously reasonable New Yorker. There comes a time in every sitcom actress's life when she is faced with the prospect of writing a book. When Ellie Kemper's number was up, she was ready. Contagiously cheerful, predictably wholesome, and mostly inspiring except for one essay about her husband's feet, My Squirrel Days is a funny, free-wheeling tour of Ellie's life-from growing up in suburban St. Louis with a vivid imagination and a crush on David Letterman to moving to Los Angeles and accidentally falling on Doris Kearns Goodwin. But those are not the only famous names dropped in this synopsis. Ellie will also share stories of inadvertently insulting Ricky Gervais at the Emmy Awards, telling Tina Fey that she has "great hair-really strong and thick," and offering a maxi pad to Steve Carell. She will take you back to her childhood as a nature lover determined to commune with squirrels, to her college career as a benchwarming field hockey player with no assigned position, and to her young professional days writing radio commercials for McDonald's but never getting paid. Ellie will guide you along her journey through adulthood, from unorganized bride to impatient wife to anxious mother who-as recently observed by a sassy hairstylist-"dresses like a mom." Well, sassy hairstylist, Ellie Kemper is a mom. And she has been dressing like it since she was four. Ellie has written for GQ, Esquire, The New York Times, McSweeney's and The Onion. Her voice is the perfect antidote to the chaos of modern life. In short, she will tell you nothing you need to know about making it in show business, and everything you need to know about discreetly changing a diaper at a Cibo Express.

A side-splitting collection of the most earnest and mangled attempts at the English language made by generations of schoolchildren. Be they funny, irreverent or just plain silly, Mr McGreevy's Absolute Howlers are guaranteed to have you weeping with laughter. Four separate editions cover howlers in Science, History, English and Geography. Includes, amongst hundreds of others, the following howlers: Coal is decayed vegetarians. Socrates died of an overdose of wedlock. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak. The King wore a scarlet robe trimmed with vermin. In the middle of the 18th Century all the morons moved to Utah. The German Emperor's lower passage was blocked by the English. The French Revolution was caused by overcharging taxis. Nets are holes surrounded by pieces of string. In biology today we digested a frog. The seventh commandment is 'Thou shall not admit adultery'. Pompeii was destroyed by an overflow of saliva from the Vatican. A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population. Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery.

Let your fellow human beans know that everything will be okale with this little book of upbeat and adorkable fruit puns. #cosyoureworthit About the series This cute and colourful series of fruit-pun-filled gift books are the perfect pick-me-ups for you, your friend or your partner in crime. Do you need to avocuddle, or are you grapeful for someone who's a bit of a melon? Then share the clove with these little books: AVOCUDDLE, WHATAMELON, YOU ARE MY RAISIN FOR LIVING, DON'T GIVE A FIG, I AM GRAPEFUL, YOU ARE 24 CARROT GOLD. *veg, nuts and seeds are fair game

From weddings and wakes to hangovers, pre-marriage courses, working as an apprentice on a building site, Irish summers, the Irish abroad, smart-arse barmen, more hangovers, aspiring TDs, the GAA lotto man, going on the hop from school and Irish mammies. Based on the hugely successful Rory's Stories Facebook page, The Rory's Stories Guide to Being Irish is a laugh-out-loud guide to the most important things about being Irish.

Jump into the wacky, wild world of Florida For more than 30 years, investigative journalist and New York Times bestselling author Craig Pittman has chronicled the wildest stories Florida has to offer. Featuring a selection of columns that have appeared in the Tampa Bay Times and other outlets throughout Pittman's career, this book highlights just how strange and wonderful Florida can be. With a folksy style, an eye for the absurd, and a passion for the history and environment of his home state, Pittman describes some of Florida's oddest wildlife as well as its quirkiest people. The State You're In includes a love story involving the most tattooed woman in the world, a deep dive into the state's professional mermaid industry, and an investigation of a battle between residents of a nudist resort and the U.S. Postal Service. Pittman introduces readers to a who's who of Florida crime fiction, a what's what of exotic animals, and an array of beloved places he's seen change rapidly in his lifetime. Many of these stories are funny, some are serious, and several offer rare insights into the heart of the Sunshine State. For Pittman, Florida is both inspiring and dangerous-an "evolutionary test" for those who live in it. Together these pieces paint a complex picture of a fascinating state longing for an identity beyond palm trees and punchlines.

Uplifting, inspiring and humorous, On The Plus Side is a veritable treasure trove of reasons to be cheerful as we journey through later life.. Proclamations of positivity, morsels of mischief and great ways to grow old disgracefully ...all with a sprinkling of realism and plenty of humour thrown in for good measure. With over 50 brilliantly illustrated rhymes to make you smile, it is a must for everyone who acknowledges that age is not a number ... but an attitude.