A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II.
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
"In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks" is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past--Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

15 Bytes Book Award 2021 Independent Publisher Book Awards, Gold Medal Winner In English disparate means "different" or "miscellaneous"-apt descriptors of these essays by Patrick Madden. In Spanish, however, disparate means "nonsense," "folly," or "absurdity,"-words appropriate to Madden's goal of undercutting any notion that essays must be serious business. Thus, in this collection, the essays are frivolous and lively, aiming to make readers laugh while they think about such abstract subjects as happiness and memory and unpredictability. In this vein, Madden takes sidelong swipes at weighty topics via form, with wildly meandering essays, abandoned essays in honor of the long tradition of essayists disparaging their own efforts, and guerrilla essays-which slip in quietly under the guise of a borrowed form, abruptly attack, and promptly escape, leaving laughter and contemplation in their wake. Madden also incorporates cameos from guest essayists, including Mary Cappello, Matthew Gavin Frank, David Lazar, Michael Martone, Jericho Parms, and Wendy S. Walters, much like a musician features other performers. Disparates reflects the current zeitgeist by taking on important issues with a touch of cleverness, a dash of humor, and a little help from one's friends. Read Chapter 1.

When Tusko the Elephant woke in his pen at the Lincoln Park Zoo on the morning of August 3, 1962, little did he know that he was about to become the test subject in an experiment to determine what happens to an elephant given a massive dose of LSD. In "Elephants on Acid", Alex Boese reveals to readers the results of not only this scientific trial but of scores of other outrageous, amusing, and provocative experiments found in the files of modern science.Why can't people tickle themselves? Would the average dog summon help in an emergency? Will babies instinctually pick a well-balanced diet? Is it possible to restore life to the dead? Read "Elephants on Acid" and find out!

*Please note this is not a novel, but a companion book for Reacher fans* NOW UPDATED TO INCLUDE A Q&A WITH LEE CHILD AND ALAN RITCHSON, STAR OF PRIME TV'S HIT SERIES, REACHER My name is Jack Reacher. No middle name, no address. I'm a man with a rule. People leave me alone, I leave them alone. If they don't, I don't. As every Reacher fan knows, you don't have to break the rules if you make the rules. Rule 1. NEVER VOLUNTEER FOR ANYTHING Rule 2: BE ON YOUR FEET AND READY Rule 3. SHOW THEM WHAT THEY'RE MESSING WITH Rule 4: DON'T BREAK THE FURNITURE Rule 5: IF IN DOUBT, DRINK COFFEE 'There's only one Jack Reacher. Accept no substitutes' MICK HERRON

In these nineteen whip-smart essays, Jon Stewart takes on politics, religion, and celebrity with a seethingly irreverent wit, a brilliantsense of timming, and a palate for the obsurd -- and these one-of-a-kind forays into his hilarious world will expose you to all its wickedly naked truths.

In his first book, he translates that unique talent to the page, with humorous forays into a vast array of subjects: fashion, urban life, fast cars, cocktail culture, modern Jewishness, politics, and dating.

A seethingly irreverent wit, Stewart has a genius for language and brilliant timing that makes his up-to-the-minute collection a must-have for humor lovers in search of a Woody Allen for the 90s.He's the MTV generation's master of modern humor, a star of film, TV, and the comedy stage. This sultan of savvy serves up a whip-smart, utterly original collection of comic essays in Naked Pictures of Famous People. And as of January 11, 1999, you can enjoy the intelligence and self-deprecating charm he brings to contemporary comedy on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show."

In his first book, he translates that unique talent to the page, with humorous forays into a vast array of subjects: fashion, urban life, fast cars, cocktail culture, modern Jewishness, politics, and dating.

A seethingly irreverent wit, Stewart has a genius for language and brilliant timing that makes his up-to-the-minute collection a must-have for humor lovers in search of a Woody Allen for the 90s.

The hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again. Who is that tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer? Has Jeremy turned into a horny-handed son of the soil? These and other perplexing questions may or may not be answered in the latest volume of Clarkson's utterly unbiased musings on life, the universe and everything in between (except cars - this isn't one of his four-wheel drive books). Inside you'll also discover why: * Bathing in crude oil isn't for everyone * People who go fishing hate their kids * Noise-cancelling headphones will never silence James May * The rambler who stole his marrow is in for it Full of fact-checked opinions and ideas so good they're no longer following the science but chasing it up a tree, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? is one hundred per cent guaranteed Clarkson . . . Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Our second volume begins with "Peanuts' third full year and a cast of eight: Charlie Brown, Shermy, Patty, Violet, Schroeder, Lucy, the recently born Linus, and Snoopy. By the end of 1954, this will have expanded to nine. Linus still doesn't speak (except, on a few occasions, to himself), but Schulz begins laying the foundation for his emergence as the most complex and arguably most endearing character in the strip: garrulous and inquisitive, yet gentle and tolerant. And he evens acquires his "security blanket" in this volume! Meanwhile, Lucy, an infant just a year ago, has forcefully elbowed herself to the front of the cast, proudly wearing her banner as a troublemaker or, in Schulz's memorable phrase, "fussbudget," The strong, specific relationships she sets up with each character further contributes to making her central to the strip. (She has earned her cover status on this volume.) Charlie Brown is clearly in transition. Although his eventual, best-known persona (the lovable, perpetually humiliated round-headed loser) is in evidence in many strips, his brasher, more prankish side as seen in the previous volume (foreshadowing Bill Watterson's future Calvin) shows up, too. This period's significant new character is Pigpen, who would remain one of the main cast members throughout the decade. And then there's Snoopy. To readers unfamiliar with the early days of the strip, Snoopy's appearances here will no doubt come as the biggest surprise. Although Snoopy has started thinking to himself, he does no imitations (except for one brief shark impression), he doesn't sleep atop his doghouse (much less type or fly a Sopwith Camel), and has no fantasy life--in fact, he doesn't even walkupright! But as we know, he is merely biding his time, and his evolution continues its fascinating course within these pages. This book collects 730 daily and Sunday comic strips, the vast majority of which are not currently available in any in-print "Peanuts collection, and over one hundred of which have never been reprinted since their initial appearance in papers over 50 years ago. "The Complete Peanuts is produced in full cooperation with United Media, Charles M. Schulz Creative Associates, and Mr. Schulz's widow, lean Schulz. Each volume in the series presents two years of strips along with supplementary material in a three-tier page format that accommodates three dailies or one Sunday strip per page. Award-winning graphic novelist Seth is designing the series so that each individual book is sharply recognizable and yet clearly part of a consistent series. Using archival-quality syndicate proofs for virtually every strip in its history, the series boasts the best-looking, crispest reproduction for a classic comic strip ever achieved. "Peanuts is the most successful comic strip in the history of the medium as well as one of the most acclaimed strips ever published. Charles Schulz's characters have become American icons. "A Charlie Brown Christmas is as much an annual holiday ritual for families as "It's A Wonderful life. A United Media poll in 2002 found "Peanuts to be one of the most recognizable cartoon properties in the world, recognized by 94 percent of the total U.S. consumer market and a close second only to Mickey Mouse (96 percent), and higher than other familiar cartoon properties like Spider-Man (75 percent) or the Simpsons (87 percent). In "T.V. Guide's "Top 50 GreatestCartoon Characters of All-Time" list, Charlie Brown and Snoopy ranked #8.

'Part of the beauty of me is that I'm very rich' But that's just part of it. His fingers, too, are 'long and beautiful'. Improbably coiffed, perma-tanned and bronze-tongued, the Donald has increasingly impinged on the world's consciousness through a string of startling pronouncements. From his preference for war heroes who have not been captured, to his references to his sleeping around in the 1980s as his 'personal Vietnam' or this - 'My grandparents didn't come to America all the way from Germany to see it get taken over by immigrants' - Trump's utterances are nothing if not intriguing. As he once said, and to date this has been hard to dispute, he 'could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and [he] wouldn't lose any voters.' Here, in his own words, is the businessmen, the dealmaker, TV personality, author and one-time Democrat, now Republican who would be president of the United States.

A celebration in short stories of what makes London the city it is: the landmarks are there but it is the people who make the city, and the stories, work.

It's no secret that most New Yorker readers flip through the magazine to look at the cartoons before they ever lay eyes on a word of the text. But what isn't generally known is that over the decades a growing cadre of women artists have contributed to the witty, memorable cartoons that readers look forward to each week. Now Liza Donnelly, herself a renowned cartoonist with the New Yorker for more than twenty years, has written this wonderful, in-depth celebration of women cartoonists who have graced the pages of the famous magazine from the Roaring Twenties to the present day. An anthology of funny, poignant, and entertaining cartoons, biographical sketches, and social history all in one, VeryFunny Ladies offers a unique slant on 20th-century and early 21st-century America through the humorous perspectives of the talented women who have captured in pictures and captions many of the key social issues of their time. As someone who understands firsthand the cartoonist's art, Donnelly is in a position to offer distinctive insights on the creative process, the relationships between artists and editors, what it means to be a female cartoonist, and the personalities of the other New Yorker women cartoonists, whom she has known over the years. Very Funny Ladies reveals never-before-published material from The New Yorker archives, including correspondence from Harold Ross, Katharine White, and many others. In addition, Donnelly has interviewed all of the living female cartoonists, many of their male counterparts, and editors and writers: David Remnick,Roger Angell, Lee Lorenz, Harriet Walden (legendary editor Harold Ross's secretary), Bob Mankoff, Eldon Dedini, Dana Fradon, Frank Model, Bob Weber, Sam Gross, Gahan Wilson, Joe Farris, among others. Combining a wealth of information with an engaging and charming narrative, plus more than seventy cartoons, along with photographs and self-portraits of the cartoonists, Very Funny Ladies beautifully portrays the art and contributions of the brilliant female cartoonists in America's greatest magazine.

Become a dazzling wit or enjoy a good laugh with this entertaining collection of humorous quotations, carefully handpicked and edited by writer and broadcaster Gyles Brandreth. From Art to Bores, Tennis to Wine, this little dictionary contains over 2,700 of the best quotations, from witty one-liners and funny phrases to pithy comments and unintended humour. If you live to be one hundred you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. - George Burns I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry. - Victoria Wood Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie-detector. - Graham Greene The trouble with a book is that you never know what's in it until it's too late. - Jeanette Winterson

A SEARCH AND FIND BOOK Ever scrambled desperately around a shopping centre, train station or zoo in search of the facilities? Ever felt that every step you take is actually taking you an inch closer to squelchy humiliation? Re-live the experience from the comfort of your bathroom with this wonderful search and find book!

Waterford Whispers is Ireland's biggest satirical website and entertains hundreds of thousands of people daily with its hilarious take on the news of the day. This ninth annual in the bestselling Waterford Whispers series looks back, in its own inimitable way, at the year that was.

This specially updated edition, released to mark the passing of the late and much-missed monarch, is a collection of warm, amusing recollections from the royal household celebrating the lighter side of palace life. ‘What do you do?’ a guest inquired of the Queen at a Buckingham Palace garden party. ‘I had no idea what to say,’ the Queen told friends afterwards. As the longest reigning monarch of this realm, the Queen represented stability, hope and continuity. We loved her because she was always there, didn’t make a fuss and was dedicated in her duty even in old age. But alongside her stoic and sensible exterior, she was also renowned for a playful and keen sense of humour, as seen when she delighted audiences all around the world by inviting Paddington Bear for tea to celebrate her Platinum Jubilee. How exactly did the Queen reactwhen she found her footman draped in her jewels? What did she do to amuse herself to while away the hours spent sitting for her portrait? How did she respond when faced with a plate full of Mexican food? This characterful, illustrated book answers these questions and poses many more in its affectionate celebration of the diverse personalities of the House of Windsor. Gathered together in this amusing tribute are a compendium of stories which provide access to the unique world of the royals.    

Alton Douglas is back! Author of over fifty books, Alton once again trawls through his career as a professional comedian, scriptwriter, TV warm-up artiste, actor and trombonist, to produce a feast of anecdotes, jokes and stories in the same vein as his previous Entertaining Thoughts, Laughs in the Right Place and I Forgot to Tell You. With the emphasis on fun and entertainment, he presents another collection of the curious, humorous and downright strange happenings that have enriched his life, including behind-the-scenes stories of the nice and not-so-nice inhabitants of the world of show business.

This bumper collection of the funniest anecdotes, jokes and stories from cricket's best-loved personalities proves that cricket is a funny game - even when rain stops play! In this updated and expanded edition, you can read not only the most popular stories by five of the game's all-time great characters - Richie Benaud, Dickie Bird, Henry Blofeld, Brian Johnston and Fred Trueman - but also the humour of famous cricketers such as Ian Botham, Andrew Flintoff, Justin Langer, Shane Warne, and modern players including Jimmy Anderson, Joe Root and Ben Stokes. Here are dozens of hilarious anecdotes from around the world about the legendary cricketers Geoffrey Boycott, Donald Bradman, Michael Holding, Sachin Tendulkar and many others - not to mention broadcasting gaffes and giggles, sledging, short-sighted umpires and the phantom sock snipper in the England dressing-room!

The PERFECT GIFT for Mum would be to let her take the day off while you do everything for her. Why not get her this book instead? ---------------- This is mum. A mum has two very important jobs to do. One is to look after her children. The other is to do everything else as well. ---------------- Now Lyndsay's little boy is at nursery, she is looking for a job. At this interview, the lady asks Lyndsay all sorts of questions, which Lyndsay has trouble answering because she has the Octonauts theme going round her head. Lyndsay hopes she is not singing out loud. ---------------- This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

From marital bliss to margaritas, wives are awfully wonderful and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions capture everything to love about marriage. The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards. Perfect as a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Mother's Day gift for long-suffering wives everywhere. Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Dad, The Wit and Wisdom of Mum and The Wit and Wisdom of the Husband.

It is a great truism of golf that the game cannot be learned from a book. Yet it is equally true that there are some things every golfer must know before setting foot on the course or risk making an utter ass of himself. These are things your local golf pro can't or won't tell you.
In this humble little volume is gathered together a collection of the wisest counsel and advice on the Noble Sport in all its forms. Included here are fantastic original photographs and illustrations from the 1880s through the 1920s, the rules and etiquette of golf as described by the wittiest classic sources, an old-school guide to the very best (and worst) of the world's golf courses, and golf fashion at its vintage best. The ball will not land always on the fairway, the wind will sometimes blow against you, there are times when those natty plus-fours will end the day so besmirched and bespattered by sand and grime that you know in your heart of hearts they will never be the same again, but despair not For this book will ensure you come off with top honors even when the odds are against you.

Writer, broadcaster, and wit Gyles Brandreth has completely revised Ned Sherrin's classic collection of wisecracks, one-liners, and anecdotes. With over 1,000 new quotations from all media, it's easy to find hilarious quotes on subjects ranging from Argument to Diets, from Computers to The Weather. Add sparkle to your speeches and presentations, or just enjoy a good laugh in company with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Joan Rivers, Kathy Lette, Frankie Boyle, and friends. 'Now we have the World Wide Web (the only thing I know of whose shortened form-www-takes three times longer to say than what it's short for)' Douglas Adams 'Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends' Woody Allen 'Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight' Phyllis Diller 'Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit' Elizabeth Gilbert 'The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it' Terry Pratchett 'Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction' American general Oliver P. Smith

Writer, broadcaster, and wit Gyles Brandreth has completely revised Ned Sherrin's classic collection of wisecracks, one-liners, and anecdotes. With over 1,000 new quotations from all media, it's easy to find hilarious quotes on subjects ranging from Argument to Diets, from Computers to The Weather. Add sparkle to your speeches and presentations, or just enjoy a good laugh in company with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Joan Rivers, Kathy Lette, Frankie Boyle, and friends. 'Now we have the World Wide Web (the only thing I know of whose shortened form-www-takes three times longer to say than what it's short for)' Douglas Adams 'Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends' Woody Allen 'Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight' Phyllis Diller 'Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit' Elizabeth Gilbert 'The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it' Terry Pratchett 'Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction' American general Oliver P. Smith

New edition of this bestselling and laugh-out-loud humour title. Hey you! Yeah, you holding this book, you with the face like a constipated greyhound. You're the sap in the family tree. Wouldn't know your langer from your thumb except for the nail. Word is if brains were taxed you'd be due a rebate. But why stand there and be insulted? With the help of this invaluable collection of Irish insults, you'll be able to tell your boss that for someone without cows he produces an awful lot of bullshit. Or your husband he's as useful as a concrete currach. Or you might observe that your wife's arse is as wide as a Leitrim hurler's shot.

The Diary of a Nobody is a comic masterpiece that has been hugely influential since its first publication in 1892.

Part of the Macmillan Collector’s Library; a series of stunning, clothbound, pocket sized classics with gold foiled edges and ribbon markers. These beautiful books make perfect gifts or a treat for any book lover. This edition features Weedon Grossmith’s original illustrations and an afterword by novelist Paul Bailey.

Proud to be ensconced with his wife Carrie at ‘The Laurels’ in the desirable London suburb of Holloway, bank clerk Charles Pooter decides to keep a diary. From the frequent visits from his dear friends Mr Cummings and Mr Gowing to the ups and downs of his feckless son Lupin, the self-regarding Mr Pooter considers, mistakenly, that all aspects of his life are worthy of note. The result is a hilarious spoof and a perfectly pitched satire on late Victorian society.

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A JOKE?
Better yet, do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of THOUSANDS OF JOKES and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from ACCOUNTANTS TO ZEBRAS, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
-Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? "He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! "
-A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
-Where do you get virgin wool from? "An ugly sheep!"
-What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? ""Oh look! Donut seeds!"
-The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines--it's believed to have been the work of organized crime.