A collection of the wonderful variety of styles, stories and personalities of our favourite Christmas companions. With a unique perspective atop the tree, Christmas Angels are the ultimate observers of the festive period. They see us when we're sleeping (4pm comatose in front of the telly), they know when we're awake (4am in frenzied anticipation of The Big Day), they realize when family tensions are starting to resurface, and which gifts were bought in haste. But like the snowflakes speckling our windows, each blessed angel is one of a kind; each has its own story of creation and arrival into every household. Some are antiques passed down through generations, others are homemade, some embody the spirit of Christmas, others could be more suited to Halloween. Through this unusual collection of portraits, Christmas Angels showcases the variety of styles, stories and personalities embodied by our favourite Christmas companions.

From Beverly Hills mansions to Irish country lanes, super-yachts to side-alleys, howling cougars to psychotic nutters, stand-up spotlights to police helicopter searchlights, superstar highs to inner demon woes, along with so much more, Mark Hayes takes us on quite an adventure in RanDumb-er, the random but hardly dumb tales of an Irish chancer. From one side of the world to the other, in and out of the fantasy of Mark's reality, all with a smile and a belly-aching laugh, RanDumb-er will draw you in and make you believe in the spirit of your inner five year old once more Go ahead - Open a Guinness, take off your pants (comfort is key here), sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Fast pace, quicker wit, time for you to join Mark as he tells his story of two cities and one dream. Ran. Dumb. Er. On About The Author: Mark Hayes is an Irish guy who now lives in L.A. Chancer. Prancer. Midnight. Dancer. Bestselling author of RanDumb: The Adventures of an Irish Guy in L.A which has been rated #1 on Amazon Humor. Praise For RanDumb: 'RanDumb is an intelligently put-together, often satirical analysis of the times we live in... a thoroughly entertaining read that will make you 'LOL' -laugh out loud - as so many have done on Mark Hayes' blog.' 'With his unique style, phrasing and word coinage, Mark Hayes introduced himself to us in his first book RanDumb as a kind of hard drinking, half-slacker, half German technical translator, carefree globetrotter finding his way in Hollywood. Very funny and a great read.' 'I've always wanted to give up the mundane day job, pack my bags and head for the promised land, but circumstances have conspired against me. So, when I heard of this book, it was a must read... I wasn't disappointed in the least. It was just how I would have imagined and more... Mark Hayes has shared his experiences of chasing the American Dream and I love it.'

Everyone knows that laughter is the best medicine, but Forced to Fly is more than a collection of funny stories about the seeing the funny side of the day to day blunders we all make. It is packed with stories that resonate with anyone who has lived abroad Its opening chapters, written by experts, counsellors and real-life expats who have struggled with culture shock, will provide support and advice to guide you through any dark patches. When the first edition came out I had no idea that it would find its way into corporate goodie bags for relocating employees, nor that people would call me up, saying, "Help, my daughter-in-law has just moved to Dubai and is not doing so well. Can you send her a book, please?" In this second edition, we have added a chapter on emotional resilience in addition to more than 20 new stories for you to enjoy from new writers such as Jack Scott, whose memoir, Perking the Pansies, has been shortlisted for the Polaris prize and the hilarious Debbie Fletcher, author of Bitten by Spain. Blogger contributors AdventuresInExpatland, DisparateHuisvrouw, WordGeyser and IWasAnExpatWife make this a thoroughly modern version of an old favourite. "A must-have book for expats everywhere. A unique mix of practical advice and funny stories that everyone will relate to." Toni Summers-Hargis, author of Rules, Britannia and blogger at Expat Mum - http: //expatmum.blogspot.com 'I would love to have had it with me when I left home ten years ago for the first time." Laura J Stephens, author of An Inconvenient Posting, an expat wife's memoir of lost identity - www.laurajstephens.com "Delightfully relevant. A cleverly crafted collection of expatriate stories and advice, including the good, the bad and the hilarious side of international living. Perfect for global nomads looking to feel connected through shared experiences." Alison Cavatore, Founder, CEO and Editor-in-Chief, Global Living Magazine - www.globallivingmagazine.com

When Jason Mulgrew enrolls in a private high school in an exciting new neighborhood (North Philly, murder center of the city), he finds himlf displaced into a world of privilege and strict standards. His classmates, whose parents are lawyers and bankers, live in houses with yards and pools. Mulgrew, whose longshoreman father bought him a motorcycle upon completion of his driver's test, struggles to relate in this wider world, fighting his way through the gauntlet of high school as an awkward, sexless giant.

Mulgrew tackles the glorious complications, misapprehensions, and obsessions of the teenage mind. He revisits his unhealthy fixations on dogs, his "bird," the Prep, friends who are girls, Kahlua & Cream, and a certain position in student body government to craft yet another raunchy, honest, and relentlessly funny memoir.

It's still the Wild West in Colleen's Durango. Colleen Miller grew up in her parents' motel in Durango, Colorado, during the 1950s and 1960s. A tourist town in the southwestern corner of the state, alive with people from all over the world during the summer, Durango became an isolated, typical small town the rest of the year. These are the stories of her childhood, filled with the hilarious, larger-than-life characters that populated her family and the town around them. Told in the words of a precocious child who doesn't miss a thing, Colleen has the courage to name it all for what it is, telling anyone who will listen. Inside are her stories and more... "I laughed out loud so many times Colleen is a brilliant storyteller and a compassionate coach with fresh and unique ideas for uncovering those parts of our past we've buried while integrating them into the person we want to be today." Chicken Soup for the Soul series and other books "What I love about Colleen's writing is that the stories come alive and draw me in. They make me cry and laugh, and help me to see the truth of my own authentic self." -Sally Bonkrude, MA, LPC, MT-BC, author of Conscious Performing...from fear to freedom

Since 1999, millions of readers and web crawlers have read The Satirist online. At long last, the best pieces, including previously unpublished material, have been collected into this cherished and universally loved volume of satire. Learn how to start your own religious cult in the "Seven Habits of Highly Efficient Cult Leaders" Read how converting empty shopping malls into prisons can transform the US economy Are you a conspiracy theorist? Take the test Discover Claire Hoyt, "Shrink to the Stars," who gossiped openly about the secrets of her clients, Hollywood's leading celebrities Did the French philosopher, Claude Roger, plagiarize from his own students? Was Max Sazonov a great Russian poet or a total idiot? Read reviews of imaginary movies Read reviews of imaginary works by John Irving and Thomas Pynchon. And much more 58 articles in all "The more blandness and repression there is in any society, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that blandness and repression. The Satirist serves such a purpose with imagination and style." -Author/comedian Paul Krassner "An instant Borgesian classic "

"His use of language, his ability to twist the narrative and turn the obscure into the profound is outstanding." - "The Stage"
Looking for a creative writing guide out there that will tell you how to write better? A book to tell you how to structure a perfect plot, create great characters, use language in a powerful and poetic way? This is not that book.
"100 Ways to Write Badly Well" is an adventure in drivel. It will teach you how to botch a plot, how to create characters that no one in their right mind would identify with and how to reduce the beauty of the English language to an incoherent mush.
Using one hundred practical examples, each awful in its own unique way, blogger and creative writing tutor Joel Stickley will lead you methodically up the creek and carefully remove your paddle before running off and leaving you stranded. The route is lined with mixed metaphors, terrible plot twists, piles of adjectives and characters staring at themselves in mirrors for no apparent reason.
Based on the popular blog and live comedy show How To Write Badly Well, this book is an invaluable guide to the art of awful writing that no would-be author should be without. Remember - if a thing's worth doing badly, it's worth doing badly well.

My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm A Son of a Gun is a special memoir, an unabashed confession of a man's love for his father, told as only humorist Lewis Grizzard can. Grizzard's father was a man of tremendous contradictions, of lusty appetites, of rare warmth. He was a charmer of men and women and a consummate con artist. A certified war hero and a shameless passer of bad checks. An overpowering personality and a man of great courage. Finally the self-described mah-velous Major Grizzard was a drinker, capable of going off on a bender that could wreak havoc even for those he loved most. If the Major is the soul of this book, Lewis Grizzard is the heart, flashing back and forth in time. Grizzard offers his trademark hilarious and touching recollections of eccentric aunts, compassionate teachers, sagacious bosses; of being kidnapped and traveling with his daddy by bus to small towns all over the South; of learning to tell jokes; and of understanding how to laugh—and cry—at life. Grizzard's My Daddy Was a Pistol will entertain as well as surprise his legion of established fans as well as those just discovering Grizzard for the first time.

Painfully awkward. Hilariously honest. Best of all, it happened to someone else.
It's a fact of life: No matter how lame, embarrassing, or downright crappy your day has been, someone else, somewhere on earth, has had it worse. F My Life World Tour collects the best of life's most horrible moments, shared by people around the globe on the phenomenally popular FMyLife.com, which now gets more than 2 million hits per day, from Italy to Indonesia and Pakistan to Peru. If you've ever said "F my life," get ready to feel a little better--at someone else's expense.
Includes never-before-seen entries submitted to FMyLife.com

Warbling sopranos, bellowing basses, someone in the back row at least a line ahead of everyone else, fusty robes, intransigent organists and temperamental clergy - welcome to the world of the local church choir. There is no better observer of the volatile relations between the clergy, the choir, the organist and the congregation than Reg Frary who has seen it all in over seventy years' first hand experience of sitting in the choir stalls Sunday by Sunday and at weddings, funerals, carol services, festivals and other occasions. Here are 23 new stories, written with characteristic affection and wit, which will greatly entertain Reg's loyal and eager readers.

Welcome to Pearl's Feed and Seed Most coming-of-age stories are fraught with symbolism, hidden metaphors, and a heaping mound of other literary devices. Not this one. Not mine. You see, I came of age while working at a dusty Texas feedstore. A place where To Kill a Mockingbird involved a twelve-year-old and a BB gun. Of Mice and Men was a problem easily solved with rat poison. And David Copperfield was nothing more than a dude that made shit disappear. In the spring of 1989, I went to work at Pearl's Feed and Seed for a man named Doyle Suggs. On the surface Doyle and I had little in common: I was a rosy-cheeked boy of sixteen; he was a twice-divorced, thirty-year-old high school dropout. I had yet to go on my first date; he was trading sex for horse feed in the back room. Sure, Doyle was a lout, a liar, and a lecherous derelict. To this day, he remains the most morally bankrupt man I've ever met, yet my life wouldn't be half as blessed, had I missed out on his misguided education. The Feedstore Chronicles is a mostly true account of those days and when murderous ex-wives, well-hung bulldogs, and feed room fornication were all part of a normal day at Pearl's.

It is true that religious scriptures and silver-tongued teachings are always inspiring, guiding and constructive. The latent energy hidden in such words have the capability of lighting up the human life. They inspire us, provide us energy and excite us. To be able to use them as a reference in due course, it is imperative to compile them in one place. This book meets this objective.

From the bestselling author of The Book of Awesome, You Are Awesome, and the award-winning, multimillion-hit blog 1000 Awesome Things comes even more of the little things that make us smile every day! Neil Pasricha is back with a collection of hundreds more awesome things from the website, as well as never-before-seen extraordinary moments that deserve celebration: * Letting go of the gas pump perfectly so you end on a round number * When a baby falls asleep on you * When your pet notices you're in a bad mood and comes to see you * Pulling a weed and getting all the roots with it * When your windshield wipers match the beat of the song you're listening to * When the hiccups stop * The smooth feeling on your teeth when you get your braces off * Driving from a rough road onto a smooth one * When the person you're meeting is even later than you are * That guy who helps you parallel park There's even space for you to write your very own Awesome Things in the back. Because couldn't we all use (even more) awesome?

The "New York Times" bestseller--now in paperback. Award-winning actress Shirley MacLaine pens the most funny, accessible, and timely book of her career, detailing all the things she's over...and a few she's not.
At a certain time in life, we all come to realize what is truly important to us and what just doesn't matter. For Shirley MacLaine, that time is now. In this wise, witty, and fearless collection of small observations and big-picture questions, she shares with readers all those things that she is over dealing with in life, in love, at home, and in the larger world...as well as the things she will "never"" "get over, no matter how long she lives.
Among the things that Shirley is over: people who repeat themselves; conservatives "and"" "liberals; ill-mannered young people; the poison of celebrity; being polite to boring people; and getting older in Hollywood.
As frank and personal as Nora Ephron's "I Feel Bad About My Neck"--which, incidentally, Shirley doesn't since she knows the secrets of good lighting--"I'm Over All That "is MacLaine at her acerbic and irreverent best.

No matter what they say, sixty will never be the new forty. But sixty-five-year-old author Virginia Ironside is determined to convince people that getting old is really not so bad -- even for a Baby Boomer who interviewed the Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix early in her career. Here, Virginia Ironside explores the many unsung benefits of aging. There are ailments, but there are also fabulous meds. There are grandchildren -- your reward for not killing your own children. And then there's "wisdom," that random accumulated knowledge you can label as such just because you're old. You're Old, I'm Old . . . Get Used to It! celebrates scattered memory, frequent naps, and mercifully lowered expectations.

Lewis Grizzard got his first newspaper job when he was ten years old. Thirty-odd years later (thirty-very-odd years) he's still in the newspaper business-and he's still infuriated by it, still tickled by it, and still very much in love with it. If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground is all about that anger, that great humor and that even greater passion for something that affects every single one of us: the daily newspaper. Grizzard begins with his first writing job (covering a Boy's Church League team in Newman, Georgia), and continues through his college years in Athens, Georgia, where he learned how to do such things as prepare a front-page headline and layout in case Jesus Christ ever returned to earth. (Headline: HE'S BACK!) He examines the great Atlanta years and the cold Chicago winters-as sports editor of the Sun-Times, during which Grizzard lost his second wife, his cool, and very nearly his sanity, but also learned an awful lot about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This is Grizzard's funniest-and his best-book yet.

The 1950s were simple times to grow up. For Lewis Grizzard and his buddies, gallivanting meant hanging out at the local store, eating Zagnut candy bars and drinking "Big Orange bellywashers." About the worst thing a kid ever did was smoke rabbit tobacco rolled in paper torn from a brown grocery sack, or maybe slick back his hair into a ducktail and try gyrating his hips like Elvis. But then assassinations, war, civil rights, free love, and drugs rocked the old order. And as they did, Grizzard frequently felt lost and confused. In place of Elvis, the Pied Piper of his generation, Grizzard now found wormy-looking, long-haired English kids who performed either half-naked or dressed like Zasu Pitts. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself is the witty, satiric, nostalgic account of Grizzard's efforts to survive in a changing world. Sex, music, clothes, entertainment, and life itself receive the Grizzard treatment. In this, his sixth book, Grizzard was never funnier or more in tune with his readers. He might not have felt so good himself, but his social commentary and humor can still make the rest of us feel just fine.

Laughing Store is just what we need in times of troubles and uncertainties such as these. A book of humour from an acclaimed master of laughter, it lifts our hearts and raises our spirits. Jokes that touch about every domain of existence - from sex to religion, from births to deaths, from politics to the beer parlour, from the courtroom to the hospital. And most important of all, conceived in the supremely original Cameroonian flavour of jokes.

In "Tinsel, " Hank Stuever turns his unerring eye for the idiosyncrasies of modern life to Frisco, Texas--a suburb at once all-American and completely itself--to tell the story of the nation's most over-the-top celebration: Christmas. Stuever's tale begins on the blissful easy-credit dawn of Black Friday, as he jostles for bargains among the crowds at the big-box stores. From there he follows Frisco's true believers as they navigate through three years of holiday drama. Tammie Parnell is the proprietor of "Two Elves with a Twist," a company that decks the halls of other people's McMansions. Jeff and Bridgette Trykoski spend eleven months preparing the visible-from-space, awe-inspiring light display they stage on their lawn each December. And single mother Caroll Cavazos, a devout churchgoer, hopes that the life-affirming moments of the season can transcend her everyday struggles. "Tinsel" is a humane, revealing, and very funny portrait of one community's quest to discover a more perfect holiday amidst the frenzied, mega-churchy, shoparific world of Christmas.

A giant humorous collection of funny news stories, whacky phenomena, hilarious blunders and gaffes--over 1000 extraordinary cases from around the world. Who needs urban legends, when these are all true? It's everything readers love about Ripley's Believe it or Not! with an added punch of humor.

Graham Norton is best known as a television presenter, chat show host and comedian. His warm demeanour and dry wit has endeared him to the nation and he is well on his way to securing the status of a national treasure. But as well as presenting and acting, Graham also fulfils another professional role: that of agony uncle to readers of The Daily Telegraph. Every week, scores of people write to Graham with their problems, hoping that his wise words will ease their worries or at least point them in the direction of a solution to their particular concern. The woes about which Graham is asked to offer adive are wide-ranging and include topics such as ungrateful spouses, errant partners, failing relationships, problems in the workplace and social etiquette. Each perfectly-pitched response includes just the right mixture of sound advice, humour and, occasionally, reprimand. We are, after all, fascinated with other people's problems and the winning combination of a glimpse into another's life coupled with a wise and witty reply makes for fascinating reading. This entertaining and often poignant book is a collection of the very best responses to a selection of problems from the man who is rapidly becoming the nation's favourite agony uncle.

Wondering if science could explain how he survived his 40-year avalanche of drugs and alcohol, Ozzy Osbourne became one of a handful of people in the world to have his entire DNA mapped in 2010. It was a highly complex, $65,000 process, but the results were conclusive: Ozzy is a genetic anomaly. The "Full Ozzy Genome" contained variants that scientists had never before encountered and the findings were presented at the prestigious TEDMED Conference in San Diego-making headlines around the world. The procedure was in part sponsored by "The Sunday Times" of London, which had already caused an international fururoe by appointing Ozzy Osbourne its star health advice columnist. The newpaper argued that Ozzy's mutliple near-death experiences, 40-year history of drug abuse, and extreme hypocondria qualified him more than any other for the job. The column was an overnight hit, being quickly picked up by "Rolling Stone" to give it a global audience of millions. In TRUST ME, I'M DR. OZZY, Ozzy answers reader's questions with his outrageous wit and surprising wisdom, digging deep into his past to tell the memoir-style survival stories never published before-and offer guidance that no sane human being should follow. Part humor, part memoir, and part bad advice, TRUST ME, I'M DR. OZZY will include some of the best material from his published columns, answers to celebrities' medical questions, charts, sidebars, and more.

Ever wondered what waffle like 'accountability', 'site of contestation' or 'The National Democratic Revolution' really means? Here, in an irreverent nutshell, is your answer. The Ranter's Guide to South Africa pinpoints and defines some of the most overused and abused words, acronyms, piffle and jargon that noisily bamboozle our daily life. It is a satirical dictionary for our times, encompassing politics, business, culture, sport, history and that relentless, buzzing swarm of cliches that assault us every day. At last, comic relief is at hand in this indispensible A-Z digest with its short and sharp definitions that will puncture the bombast, bias and rampant populism circulating on all sides. Keep this subversive manual close by, it could save your sanity ...

From the bestselling, award-winning author of "You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning," comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere

In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics as:

• Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey
• I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long
• Twitter Woes: I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character
• Movie To-Do List: Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid
• Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTube

And much more For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.