Q: Define the term `antagonist'. A: Someone who tortures ants. Q: What are levees? A: Expensive jeans. Sharpen your pencils and have your rulers at the ready - it's time for more F in Exams! School years pass by and new students come and go, but there are always more exams to take. And with more test papers come more ingenious (and inappropriate) answers! Here again, for your amusement, we've collected the best of the New Class, as hilarious, heart-warming and cringeworthy as ever.

Edited by his children, Giles and Victoria, Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks is an anthology of humorous writing from the former editor of Punch and Radio 4 national treasure Alan Coren, who died in October 2007. In a prolific forty-year career Alan Coren wrote for The Times, Observer, Tatler, Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, Listener, Punch and the New Yorker, and published over 20 books including The Sanity Inspector, Golfing for Cats and The Collected Bulletins of Idi Amin (he turned down an invitation from Amin to visit Uganda saying, 'I'll probably end up as a sandwich'). Even twenty years ago he estimated that he had published six million words, or ten copies of War and Peace. Coren was one of Britain's most prolific and now much-missed humourists, finding the comedy of life all around him and rendering it, hilariously and compellingly, in polished and witty prose which will be eagerly devoured by his loyal fanbase.

Some call it weird. Others, eclectic, creative, hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny, and good old-fashioned snort-milk-out-your-nose humor. Whatever adjective you apply to "Close to Home," it has become one of the most popular comic panels in the funny pages today.

" Close to Home" has devout fans that range from elementary students to octogenarians. As one fan put it, "I feel like you have been looking in my window and are drawing my life!" Though by no means a Peeping Tom, John McPherson does have the unique skill of being able to take those idiosyncrasies of daily life that drive us all nuts and infuse them with razor-sharp wit.

In "When Bad Things Happen to Stupid People" John features angry letters from readers, cartoons that were killed by the editor, a glimpse inside his creative process, and never-before-seen photos of his erasers, quill pens, and his lucky drawing slippers. Who could resist it?

Three doctors explore and explain the least recommended techniques lurking in the darkest corners of medicine through the ages. Entertaining and informative, (and sometimes just plain gross), 1 Out of 10 Doctors Recommends examines the strangest and most unusual medical practices, including: drinking your own urine to fight infection, using live eels to relieve constipation, and licking a patient's head to diagnose Cystic Fibrosis. As licensed medical physicians who believe that humour is the best medicine, the authors decode the methods behind the seemingly mad science in these lighthearted mini essays. 3 out of 3 authors recommend that you read it immediately! Kooky, creepy, crazy examples include: Bee venom to treat herpes, intestinal parasites for allergy meds, "Natural" ways to make your genitalia larger, Potato to stop bleeding after delivery, Salt pork for a sore throat, Vampire Facials.

Ecstatic Essays is a small book with big ideas - with essays on a diverse range of subjects from the truth, atheism, love, the fear of failure and much, much more. This book is not recommended to folks with a rusty brain, as it could cause a haemorrhage and jolt them from their soporific slumbers! If you think you are a free thinker - then we dare you to fork out and purchase it.

The letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as: Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open? What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls? Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?

The most enduringly popular poetical verse form in the English language is very much alive and well. This monster volume of 2,000 limericks ranges from clean to (moderately) filthy, all guaranteed to make you laugh! It contains limericks that are historical, geographical, whimsical, clerical, medical and many more. This giant collection includes limericks by such names as Edward Lear, Isaac Asimov, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, William Shakespeare, H.G. Wells, John Betjeman, Ogden Nash, Spike Milligan, and others. As well as a treasure trove of completely new and original verse, generated specially for this volume. You'll find plenty of modern gems - limericks relevant to today's world, such as computers, mobile phones, foreign travel, traffic congestion, unfair taxation, the cult of celebrity, overpaid sports players, environmental issues. Plus 'old favourites' in every category you can think of, including: Limerick limericks, Family, Children's limericks (for children and by children), Food and Drink, Sporty, Clever (including tongue twisters), Silly, Arty, Animal, Showbiz (including theatre, film and TV), Musical, Medical, Historical, Miscellaneous (including royalty, travel, occupations, college, crime, fashion, politics, celebrity, garden and religion), Memorial, Naughty, and Naughtier.

From 2011 up until his death at the end of 2016, the inimitable AA Gill reigned supreme as Uncle Dysfunctional, Esquire's resident advice columnist. In this raffish, hilarious, scathing yet often surprisingly humane collection, Gill applies his unmatched wit to the largest and smallest issues of our time.

"A woman was sitting on the witness stand, and the lawyer asked her, 'Did you, or did you not, on the night of June 23rd have sex with a hippie on the back of a motorcycle in a peach orchard?' She thought for a few minutes, then said, 'What was that date again?'" -- from the book Lawyers have long been known as master storytellers, and those from Kentucky are certainly no exception. Veteran oral historian and folklorist Lynwood Montell has collected tales from dozens of lawyers and judges from throughout the Bluegrass State, ranging from the story about the tough Jackson County judge who fined himself for being late to court to unwelcome dogs in the courtroom. Recorded just as they have been told for generations, these stories are sometimes funny, sometimes sad or frightening, sometimes raw and harrowing, but always remarkable. Far more than collection of lawyer jokes, Tales from Kentucky Lawyers recounts the most insightful, entertaining, and occasionally heartbreaking stories ever told by and about Kentucky lawyers and their clients, covering the spectrum from arson to homicide, domestic disagreements to sexual abuse, and everything in between. Tales from Kentucky Lawyers is a valuable resource for folklorists as well as an entertaining and vivid account of the often-surprising legal world.

This book is for anyone who loves humour, satire and wants to learn unusual pieces of information about the world we live in. Open this book whenever you feel like taking a break. The information is slanted towards open-minded adults who can see the humour in everyday occurrences. There are seven chapters in the book - each discussing interesting things about our changing societyh: 1. Is that right? 2. Famous Quotes 3. Remember when? 4. Communication 5. The elderly 6. Miscellaneous 7. On the serious side.

"Nothing is certain but death and taxes. And laundry." --"Baby Blues" proverb

When the recipe box has more pizza coupons than recipes, or for those parenting days when all you seem to accomplish is brushing your hair and making a tray of ice cubes, "Baby Blues" offers parental fatigue redemption. The brainchild of Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott, this "Baby Blues" treasury features cartoons from "Briefcase Full of Baby Blues" and "Night Shift,"

From prophetic "Baby Blues" proverbs like, "The grass is always greener on the knees of your kid's new white pants," to Dinner Table Olympics where Synchronized Whining is the main event, young parents Darryl and Wanda keep pace with energetic children Zoe, Hammie, and baby Wren, as Kirkman and Scott expertly navigate the daily nuances of newborns, nocturnal diaper changes, and the nirvana of family life.

Affectionately dubbed "the Jewel in the Crown of the Tetbury Advertiser" by its ever-patient editor, Debbie Young has been a regular columnist for this award-winning community magazine since 2010. In its ten issues per year, she shares her homespun philosophy and wry English humour with its loyal readers. This collection brings together her columns from 2010-2015, charting history in the making as it affects local residents, and giving her whimsical perspective on the wider world from the heart of the Cotswolds

Skreeusnaaks en uittartend soos net Deon Maas kan.

In hierdie boek ontsien Maas niks of niemand nie. Hy skryf onbeskaamd en doodeerlik oor allerlei eg Suid-Afrikaanse heilige koeie. Afrikaans op kampusse, selfies, baarde, banting, die Guptas en die sogenaamde Stellenbosch Mafia loop deur onder die uitgesproke skrywer se skerp pen. Sy blatante eerlikheid oor alles van mans se “menere” tot Julius Malema, gay huwelike en NG-dominees is verfrissend.

Dit is vlymskerp, omstrede en onvergeetlik.

What's wrong with the contemporary American medical system? What does it mean when a state's democratic presidential primary casts 40% of its votes for a felon incarcerated in another state? What's so bad about teaching by PowerPoint? What is "truly" the dirtiest word in America?

These are just a few of the engaging and controversial issues that Michael Blumenthal, poet, novelist, essayist, and law professor, tackles in this collection of poignant essays commissioned by West Virginia Public Radio.

In these brief essays, Blumenthal provides unconventional insights into our contemporary political, educational, and social systems, challenging us to look beyond the headlines to the psychological and sociological realities that underlie our conventional thinking.

As a widely published poet and novelist, Blumenthal brings along a lawyer's analytical ability with his literary sensibility, effortlessly facilitating a distinction between the cliches of today's pallid political discourse and the deeper realities that lie beneath. This collection will captivate and provoke those with an interest in literature, politics, law, and the unwritten rules of our social and political engagements.

In the introduction to his collection of humorous stories focusing on family life, Dr. Simpson writes, 'I have written it because I believe family life would be enriched if we took fun and humour more seriously.'

If you visit France, or live there, or simply like to laugh, this collection of tales from determined francophile Barry Cornell will keep you in stitches. Make Mine a Kilowatt recounts the delights and disappointments, pleasures and pitfalls, surprises and shocks that await the unsuspecting Anglo Saxon who chooses to make his home across the Channel. It stumbles into topics as various as the French passion for eating the inedible, their often bizarre social customs, their sense of humour and of course their attitudes to the British. This is French life up close and personal, told in a series of hilarious episodes and unlikely adventures that mirror the author's experiences in trying to settle, survive and integrate into his local community in south-west France.