"Nothing is certain but death and taxes. And laundry." --"Baby Blues" proverb

When the recipe box has more pizza coupons than recipes, or for those parenting days when all you seem to accomplish is brushing your hair and making a tray of ice cubes, "Baby Blues" offers parental fatigue redemption. The brainchild of Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott, this "Baby Blues" treasury features cartoons from "Briefcase Full of Baby Blues" and "Night Shift,"

From prophetic "Baby Blues" proverbs like, "The grass is always greener on the knees of your kid's new white pants," to Dinner Table Olympics where Synchronized Whining is the main event, young parents Darryl and Wanda keep pace with energetic children Zoe, Hammie, and baby Wren, as Kirkman and Scott expertly navigate the daily nuances of newborns, nocturnal diaper changes, and the nirvana of family life.

From marital bliss to man flu, husbands are jolly good fellows, and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions capture everything to love about marriage. The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards. Perfect as a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Father's Day gift for long-suffering husbands everywhere. Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Dad, The Wit and Wisdom of Mum and The Wit and Wisdom of the Wife.

Both heart-warming and hilarious, the Heart and Brain comic strip illustrates the internal battle we all face over whether to listen to your heart or use your head. This wall calendar features two entertaining comics for each monthly spread. See if you relate more to the happy-go-lucky Heart, or the thoughtful and analytical Brain. Features include: 12" x 12" (12" x 24" open) Printed on FSC certified paper with soy-based ink Planning spread for September-December 2022 Spans January-December 2023 Generous grid space for notes, appointments, and reminders Official major world holidays and observances Moon phases, based on Universal Time Includes two new comics each month

Get ready to see man's best friend from a whole new angle in this hilarious collection of dog photographs. Everyone loves an under dog. And now, for the first time, in this collection of brilliantly hilarious images, we get to be literally under every sort of dog. From Finn the Cockerpoo to Dora the Springer Spaniel and Dave the Bulldog, here are the funny, sweet personality-full images of dogs, along with touching stories and fascinating facts about the different breeds. These sweet, unusual images of dogs reveal their quirky personalities and are the paw-fect gift for the dog lover in your life.

A rare collection of comedy sketches suitable for stage, television or film. Think: ants, fish and other unlikely creatures satirizing everything we consider normal and acceptable. Other spoofs in the collection parody many of the sacred icons of our everyday life. These super-funny sketches are short, incisive and certain to challenge any audience. Actors have the chance to perform as wildly different character-types in off-the-wall situations. A supernova of fun for classroom actors or for a repertory group of performers.

What connects the discovery of America, the creation of Coca Cola and the art book bought for GBP50 that turned out to contain original Picassos? That's right: sheer blind luck. No matter how meticulously things are planned, time after time the most important bits of life are the product of simple, random chance. In wonderfully witty style, Daniel M. Smith gives us the stories of inventors, Nobel Prize winners, scientists, actresses, escapees, engineers, kings, architects, pop stars, criminals, supermodels, tennis champions, opera singers and many more who have benefited from happy serendipity. From the Japanese trader who made fortune after a share price typo to the German novelist who lost his manuscript on a train, and ended up buying some fish wrapped in his own pages at the station, "The Lucky Bugger's Casebook" is a celebration of the type of unexpected good fortune we all dream of - just ask Sir Paul McCartney, who awoke one morning with the tune to 'Yesterday' having arrived in his head overnight.

With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please.

These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless f*ckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless f*ckwit... Vicar'.

Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short'. What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal sh*t on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced f*cking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.

There are many monologues books on the market but very few provide rich material for comedy. This collection from up and coming comedian & actress Katy Wix plugs that gap and provides female performers with the kind of wonderfully warm and interesting characters that they need – and deserve. A comedian and writer, Wix has for the past few years been writing audition speeches for students at drama schools including RADA, LAMDA, Drama Centre and The Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama. A book of contemporary comedy monologues does not exist for today's actor or indeed a book comprising solely of showcase speeches. This is a collection of very funny and original audition speeches filling a significant gap in the market: made up of monologues for various age ranges, each with a running time of two to three minutes. The brevity in length makes these ideal for auditions or showcases and the variety in age and style encompasses different comedic approaches; from the very quirky to the more traditional – perfect for every type of performer.

There's nothing quite like a quick fire question, the pressure of a countdown, or the expectant stare of Jeremy Paxman for making even the most intelligent quiz show contestants (as well as the not so clever) come out with the most unbelievably stupid answers. Universally Challenged is a collection of slip-ups, blunders and misunderstandings from contestants who really are the weakest link. Includes these priceless examples from Family Fortunes: . Les Dennis: Name something that could be useful to a blind man. Contestant: A sword. . Les Dennis: Name a bird with a long neck. Contestant: Naomi Campbell. . Les Dennis: Name something people might be allergic to. Contestant: Skiing. This hilarious compendium of stupidity is guaranteed to have readers of any age howling in disbelief.

'Brilliant! Will make a perfect Xmas stocking filler' Bronya Ralley 'Delightful. This dip-in-anywhere book put a smile on my face from the first page . . . for everyone who likes a good chuckle' Ruth Milligan As we all know, the oxymoron is one of the great beauties of the English language. It has been defined as 'a figure of speech that juxtaposes elements that appear to be contradictory'. Famous examples would include 'bitter-sweet', 'open secret' and 'compassionate Conservatism'. Seriously Funny, and Other Oxymorons brings together a great many examples of the oxymoron genre, amusingly illustrated by Paul Thomas. The book is arranged according to various categories ranging from Popular Culture to Political Principles and Business Ethics, all covered in Simon Brett's inimitably witty style. Anyone with an 'unbiased opinion' will quickly grasp that Seriously Funny makes a 'devilishly nice' book.

Since the fall of 2014, The Advice King has been one of the most widely read sections of alt-weekly the Nashville Scene. The Advice King Anthology contains the best of those columns, with new In-the-Meantime notes, a new introduction, and a foreword by writer Tracy Moore. If you are looking for traditional advice, this might not be the book for you. But if you care to find the incendiary, subversive, and hilarious alongside actual thoughts about addiction, depression, gentrification, politics, poetry, music, economic policy, living in New Nashville, and (inevitably) romance, the Advice King has much to offer.

Ever since Mrs Malaprop first took to the stage in 1775 and described a gentleman as 'the very pineapple of politeness', some famous figures have become better known for their slips of the tongue than for anything they said intentionally. In particular, the careers of a number of broadcasters, sporting figures and politicians have become defined by their verbal blunders. Former US Vice-President Dan Quayle is remembered solely for making unfortunate remarks such as 'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.' Welsh naturalist Iolo Williams sent Twitter into meltdown when, discussing diving sea birds on Springwatch 2016, he asked a female conservationist: 'Is that the deepest shag you've ever had?' Even respected sports broadcaster Harry Carpenter was probably haunted forever by his seemingly innocent comment at the end of the 1977 Boat Race: 'Ah, isn't that nice? The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.' I Wish I Hadn't Said That is a collection of over 3,000 spoken and written blunders - including unintentional double entendres, spoonerisms, mixed metaphors, malapropisms, jaw-dropping remarks, misguided quiz show answers, embarrassing newspaper misprints, and foreign signs and notices that have sadly become lost in translation.