WHAT DO A FORMER FASHION MODEL, AN EX-NUN, AND A FRAT BOY HAVE IN COMMON? VIRTUALLY NOTHING, EXCEPT THAT EACH HAS EXPERIENCED A UNIVERSAL RITE OF PASSAGE: BEING A BRIDESMAID.
Each year 11 million bridesmaids lead their best friends down the aisle. Most wear matching dresses, and nearly all have a thing or two to say about the bride. In this uproarious oral history, editor and journalist Eimear Lynch offers us an intimate glimpse at the moments the wedding photographer failed to capture.
From the accidental bridesmaid who helped sew the bride into her "designer" gown to the tomboy who struggled to carry Princess Diana's twenty-five foot train, "The Bridesmaids "lifts the veil on the Big Day. Opening with her own experiences as a five-time 'maid, Eimear gives us stories that are by turns heartfelt, funny, scandalous, and sometimes downright strange. An ode to the good, the bad, the strapless chiffon, and the occasional three-piece suit--and, above all, to the supporting actresses and actors who wore them--"The Bridesmaids" is a colorful walk down the aisle that you won't want to miss, and the perfect companion for every bridesmaid-to-be.

What's wrong with the contemporary American medical system? What does it mean when a state's democratic presidential primary casts 40% of its votes for a felon incarcerated in another state? What's so bad about teaching by PowerPoint? What is "truly" the dirtiest word in America?

These are just a few of the engaging and controversial issues that Michael Blumenthal, poet, novelist, essayist, and law professor, tackles in this collection of poignant essays commissioned by West Virginia Public Radio.

In these brief essays, Blumenthal provides unconventional insights into our contemporary political, educational, and social systems, challenging us to look beyond the headlines to the psychological and sociological realities that underlie our conventional thinking.

As a widely published poet and novelist, Blumenthal brings along a lawyer's analytical ability with his literary sensibility, effortlessly facilitating a distinction between the cliches of today's pallid political discourse and the deeper realities that lie beneath. This collection will captivate and provoke those with an interest in literature, politics, law, and the unwritten rules of our social and political engagements.

In STRANGERS HAVE THE BEST CANDY, full-time adventurer Margaret Meps Schulte casts caution to the wind, striking up conversations with laughing, crying, boozing, and topless strangers all over the USA and beyond. Their stories, and the resulting hijinks and friendships, are her candy, her rewards for breaking the rules about talking to strangers. Schulte's powerful narrative brings unlikely real people into the light, from Betty, the vivacious mayor of a small town in Newfoundland, to Boopsie, a skinny-dipping breast cancer survivor. The book features over 100 pen-and-ink illustrations of chance encounters, elusive and fleeting scenes that could never have been photographed. These humorous, heartwarming tales will inspire readers of all ages to talk to strangers and meet new people. Schulte shows us how to set aside fear and judgment to look for connection and serendipity in our own lives.

"A warm, lively collection of narrative vignettes chronicling the day-to-day relationship of two women who also happen to be part of a successful mother-daughter writing team." --"Kirkus Reviews"Love and guilt are thick in the Scottoline/Serritella household, and Lisa and Francesca's mother-daughter-turned-best-friends bond will strike a familiar note to many. But now that Lisa is a suburban empty-nester and Francesca is an independent twenty-something in the big city, they have to learn how to stay close while living apart. How does a mother's love translate across state lines and over any semblance of personal boundaries? You'll laugh out loud as they face-off over the proper technique for packing dishes, the importance of bringing a coat in the summertime, and the dos and don'ts of dating at any age. Add feisty octogenarian Mother Mary to the mix, and you have a Molotov cocktail of estrogen, opinions, and fun.
The stories in "Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim" will make you laugh, cry, and call your mother, daughter, and all your girlfriends.

Did you know: - that, with more than 17,000 skeletons in its collection, the Museum of London has over three times the amount of dead bodies than a full-capacity audience at the Royal Albert Hall? - that 'Farting Lane' (Carting Lane, off the Strand) was so christened because it was illuminated at night by a street lamp run on the methane gas produced by guests staying at the nearby Savoy Hotel! - that Burlington Arcade was commissioned by Lord Cavendish to stop dead cats from being thrown over his garden wall. - and that Woodford is the only London Underground station not to have at least one letter in common with the word elephantiasis?

I know why you're reading this. You want to know what this book is about to see if it's suitable reading material for your youngster. Well I'll tell you what it's about. It's about cartoon characters that know the real truth about their world. That is, there is an all powerful, caring cartoonist out there (that's me) who created everything ... yet rarely does what anyone expects. You know, it's sort of like real life. In Book 1 Stinky makes an idiot of himself trying to convince his best friend there really is a cartoonist who created them ... and the one armed Barbie was no help at all. It's hilarious AND inspirational. That's all you need to know. Trust me.

"Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth to see it like it is, and tell it like it is." --Richard Nixon
"I believe America is the solution to the world's problems." --Rush Limbaugh
"SHUT THE F#CK UP." --D. L. Hughley
The American dream is in dire need of a wake-up call. A f*cked up society is like an addict: if you are in denial, then things are going to keep getting worse until you hit bottom. According to D. L. Hughley, that's the direction in which America is headed.
In "I Want You to Shut the F*ck Up," D.L. explains how we've become a nation of fat sissies playing Chicken Little, but in reverse: The sky is falling, but we're supposed to act like everything's fine. D.L. just points out the sobering facts: there is no standard of living by which we are the best. In terms of life expectancy, we're 36th--tied with Cuba; in terms of literacy, we're 20th--behind Kazakhstan. We sit here laughing at Borat, but the Kazakhs are sitting in their country reading.
Things are bad now and they're only going to get worse. Unless, of course, you sit down, shut the f*ck up, and listen to what D. L. Hughley has to say. "I Want You to Shut the F*ck Up" is a slap to the political senses, a much needed ass-kicking of the American sense of entitlement. In these pages," " D. L. Hughley calls it like he sees it, offering his hilarious yet insightful thoughts on:
- Our supposedly post-racial society
- The similarities between America the superpower and the drunk idiot at the bar
- Why Bill Clinton is more a product of a black upbringing than Barack Obama
- That apologizing is not the answer to controversy, especially when you meant what you said
- Why civil rights leaders are largely to blame for black people not being represented on television
- Why getting your ghetto pass revoked should be seen as a good thing, not something to be ashamed of
- And how hard it is to be married to a black woman

From the same hilarious wellspring of failure as the bestselling F in Exams and F for Effort comes this all-new collection of inventively wrong--yet totally real--test responses by students who don't know the answer, but come up with something better instead. Featuring crucial academic subjects including English (Q: Name a key theme in Madame Bovary; A: Cows), Geography (Q: Where can you find the Andes?; A: Google Earth), Science (Q: Describe the properties of a meteor; A: An animal that only eats meat) and more, F this Test rounds out the curriculum with an extra-credit section for those tricky elective courses, and demonstrates that it's more fun to laugh when faced with an absolute fail.

This little book is about girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands, working, eating, drinking, sleeping, God, life, death and the universe but please remember, I am not trying to write War and Peace or Crime and Punishment here, I am simply trying to bring a smile to peoples faces. 'Melting Moments is very good, I tend to like the things you can easily dip into for a few minutes without losing the thread and when they're witty and profound, so much the better.' 'So hilarious ' 'It was lonely without your humour to read ' 'Awesome' 'Awww... I'm usually not into love stories, but that one really tugs at the heart.' 'Scary but so true...' 'That's me all over.' 'Hahaha ha haha Hahaha ha ha Hahaha ha Hahaha ha Hahaha hahaha Hahaha'

Baker's Bad Boys - the revised, expanded edition. With a Preface by Mr.NoManners, and a special intro by the author. Those adventures you enjoyed as a child, and those events that were done to you - if you were ever caught. And the things you wish you had done.

Quick-fire interviewer and Cobham rapper Tubes has put together this hilarious anecdotal look at all things Tubes.

"New York Times Book Review" Editors' Choice
A Very Oral History
With a New Introduction by the Author
""We Killed" shines in its details and its anecdotes....Well crafted and entertaining."--"The Boston Globe
"
From live comedy to television and bestseller lists, women rule the comedy industry--and, as this fascinating oral history shows, they have fought long and hard to make their way to the top. In "We Killed," Yael Kohen assembles America's most prominent comediennes--along with the writers, producers, and nightclub owners in their orbit--to piece together the rise of women in American comedy. Beginning with the emergence of Phyllis Diller and Joan Rivers in the fifties, and moving forward to the edgy intelligence of Elaine May and Lily Tomlin on to the tough-ass stand-ups who would take SNL by storm, Kohen chronicles the false starts, backslides, and triumphs of female comedians. With a chorus of more than one hundred creative voices, "We Killed" takes us backstage to tell the story of the revolution that brought us Tina Fey, Sarah Silverman, and Chelsea Handler--and a world where women can be smart, attractive, sexually confident, and flat-out funny.

Surrounded by Strong Mountains, Determined Seasons, and Endearing Folks... Janet Sheridan's wry, often tender, observations on life draw the reader into the poignancy and fun of a long life spent in the rural west. In this delightful compilation, you'll meet a variety of mostly good people, each with their own quirks: six siblings who matured in unpredictable patterns, Aunt Beulah of girth and grace, a ninth-grade student filled with forgiveness, and the author's husband, who leaves tools and clothes in full view-so he won't forget he has them-but hides his potato chips. A Seasoned Life Lived in Small Towns is a collection of unpublished material and human-interest columns written for the Denver Post and the Craig Daily Press-all drawn from the 70 years Janet Sheridan lived as a child in Utah, an adult in Nevada, and a woman facing the reality of her advancing years in Colorado. Her work was awarded first place in Category IV humorous column writing in the Colorado Press Association's 2010 competition and first place in both humorous and serious column writing in 2011. "Janet Sheridan is a treasure. She's a skilled craftsman whose sharp intellect, creativity, and precise writing-not one word is wasted-leaves a reader wanting more. Her oh-so-lovely, mellifluous prose should be savored, like this paragraph from a 2010 Colorado Voices column: My musings about children of the world and fairness ended with the shocking sight of Ruthie Miller eating toothpaste. I corrected her in a fierce whisper, smoothed my plaid dress over my knees, and wondered if the cafeteria ladies had baked cinnamon rolls for lunch..." -Barbara Ellis, Editorial Page news editor and coordinator of the Colorado Voices program, The Denver Post. "Janet has a unique voice that meshes folksy narrative with creative storytelling. An educator by trade, her readers are fortunate she found her true calling later in life. I'm proud to be one of her biggest fans. She's a true

"I run into Dave Hill all the time at the coffee shop in our neighborhood. He's always unshaven and badly hungover, with some 16-year-old groupie from Cleveland in tow--and he's just as funny then as he is in "Tasteful Nudes." He is my idol." --Malcolm Gladwell

"Dave Hill speaks, rocks, and now writes with a voice so powerful and funny and compelling that I'm pretty sure he's channeling some weird god from another dimension. Basically, this dude is a comedic Cthulhu, and when you read this book, you will either go COMPLETELY MAD or BECOME A SLAVE TO HIS MAD GENIUS. Pray for the latter." --John Hodgman
"This book should affirm Dave Hill's rightful place as a major American humor writer. You will laugh. Buy two and brighten a friend's life as well." --Dick Cavett

From the Book Jacket:

Dear ridiculously attractive person who just so happens to be holding "Tasteful Nudes" in his or her soft and supple yet commanding hands,

Hi. My name is Dave, and this is my very first collection of essays. As you can probably imagine, it pretty much has everything. In fact, if you like stories about stolen meat, animal attacks, young love, death, naked people, clergymen, rock 'n' roll, irritable Canadians, and prison, you have just hit a street called Easy because my book talks about all that stuff and a bunch of other stuff, too.

Getting back to that prison thing for a second--I can think of almost no better place to read my book than from within the confines of a correctional facility. For starters, you will definitely have the time. Also, cozying up with a good book in front of your fellow inmates is a great way to show them a softer side that for some reason no one ever wants to hear about in the yard.

Fear not, though, non-convicts, my book makes for a solid read outside of prison, too. At the beach, on the subway, while whitewater rafting, during couples counseling, under local anesthesia--I have personally seen to it that my book is totally readable in all these scenarios, as well as in most other scenarios out there today. It will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even think so much that you will forget all your problems while simultaneously creating a few new ones. In limited instances it has been known to cause severe dehydration and the occasional groin pull, but honestly I don't know what that's about. That said, it's probably not a bad idea to keep a glass of water handy and really stretch things out before strapping yourself in for a literary thrill ride you will want to experience again and again until you are either dead or your eyesight fails completely, whichever comes first. In fact, if I end up being wrong about any of this stuff, you can kick me right in the privates. Also, I will send you a nice ham (serves twenty). In short, you really can't lose on this one.

Your man,
Dave Hill

When Jason Mulgrew enrolls in a private high school in an exciting new neighborhood (North Philly, murder center of the city), he finds himlf displaced into a world of privilege and strict standards. His classmates, whose parents are lawyers and bankers, live in houses with yards and pools. Mulgrew, whose longshoreman father bought him a motorcycle upon completion of his driver's test, struggles to relate in this wider world, fighting his way through the gauntlet of high school as an awkward, sexless giant.

Mulgrew tackles the glorious complications, misapprehensions, and obsessions of the teenage mind. He revisits his unhealthy fixations on dogs, his "bird," the Prep, friends who are girls, Kahlua & Cream, and a certain position in student body government to craft yet another raunchy, honest, and relentlessly funny memoir.

The Pig Who Survived an Atomic Bomb

The Psychologist Who Hid Beneath Beds

The Founding Father Who Delivered Mouth-to-Mouth . . . to a Chicken

Welcome to some of the most weird and wonderful experiments ever conducted in the name of science. Alex Boese's "Electrified Sheep" is packed with eccentric characters, irrational obsessions, and extreme experiments. Watch as scientists attempt to nuke the moon, wince at the doctor who performs a self-appendectomy, and catch the faint whiff of singed wool from an electrified sheep.

From getting kicked out of Bible study to metaphysics with strippers--a misanthrope's wickedly witty observations about the ridiculous, raunchy, and frequently disturbing impulses that propel human existence.
With the wit of David Sedaris and the analytical sharpshooting of Sloane Crosley, Ashley Cardiff spares no one--least of all herself--in an absurd and relentlessly funny journey of sexual development.
Cardiff reflects on her introverted, awkward and too-smart teenage years to her slightly bolder (but still uncomfortable) adult relationships, all while exploring the rich anthropological terrain of sex and love. Expounding on dating Mormons, the inherent weirdness of adolescent development, sexual nightmare-fantasies about Prince, family members' sex tapes, and narrowly avoiding a teenage orgy, Cardiff recognizes sexuality for the anxiety-making force it is. Weaving adept analysis with hilarious anecdotes, she goes for something much deeper than a rant, crafting satire that's as smart as it is ruthless.
Delivering fresh, unapologetic views from the perspective of a precise and ferociously irreverent young female writer, "Night Terrors" is a rollicking manifesto on the agonies of modern life and love.

When Adrian Kulp first learned that he was about to become a father, he was essentially a teenage boy trapped in the body of a thirty-two-year-old high-powered executive. He did what his wife asked him to do: grow up. He packed away his Phillies baseball memorabilia, hid his GI Joes, and converted their guest bedroom from his private man cave into a nursery. Goodbye sticky beer cozy. Hello Diaper Genie.
Based on his mercilessly funny and brutally honest blog, here is the hilarious story of one man's journey from being the one who brings home the bacon to the one who fries it--along with assembling the crib, learning how to "accessorize" his daughter, and flying with an infant for the first time. From numbing booze-free co-ed baby showers to navigating the Farmer's Market with a baby (and loaded diaper) strapped to his chest, to locking himself out of a childproofed toilet, this often-sweaty and exhausted SAHD (stay-at-home dad) gets down and dirty about surviving life as a new parent--dad or alive.

My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm A Son of a Gun is a special memoir, an unabashed confession of a man's love for his father, told as only humorist Lewis Grizzard can. Grizzard's father was a man of tremendous contradictions, of lusty appetites, of rare warmth. He was a charmer of men and women and a consummate con artist. A certified war hero and a shameless passer of bad checks. An overpowering personality and a man of great courage. Finally the self-described mah-velous Major Grizzard was a drinker, capable of going off on a bender that could wreak havoc even for those he loved most. If the Major is the soul of this book, Lewis Grizzard is the heart, flashing back and forth in time. Grizzard offers his trademark hilarious and touching recollections of eccentric aunts, compassionate teachers, sagacious bosses; of being kidnapped and traveling with his daddy by bus to small towns all over the South; of learning to tell jokes; and of understanding how to laugh—and cry—at life. Grizzard's My Daddy Was a Pistol will entertain as well as surprise his legion of established fans as well as those just discovering Grizzard for the first time.

*Please note this is not a novel, but a companion book for Reacher fans* Reacher's own rules for life are brought together in this irresistible collection of quotes, life lessons and wisdom from the man himself. As every Reacher fan knows, you don't have to break the rules if you make the rules. If you want to survive in this world nothing else matters. Rule 1. When in doubt, drink coffee. Rule 2. Never volunteer for anything. Rule 3. Don't break the furniture. Rule 4. Only one woman at a time. Rule 5. Show them what they're messing with. 'I don't want to put the world to rights, I just don't like people who put the world to wrongs' 'Either you'll walk out of here yourself, or you'll be carried out in a bucket' 'I'm not scared of anybody. But I certainly preferred it when he was dead' If you've read the books, you'll love this. If you haven't read the books, what are you waiting for?