Now the star of NBC's Perfect Couples, Olivia Munn's hilarious first collection of essays, Suck It Wonder Woman, offers up such stories like "Thought's About My First Agent's Girlfriend's Vagina," wherein Olivia skewers life in Hollywood. In "Sex: What You Can Do to Help Yourself Have More of It," she frankly gets down to the business of getting it on, including advice on how to appropriately wrap it and bag it. In "What to Do When the Robots Invade (Yes, When!)," Olivia offers valuable information on. . .what to do when the robots invade! This book also includes such handy treasures as a timeline of great moments in Geek history, a flip book, and an unofficial FAQ section. "Suck It, Wonder Woman! "brings Olivia Munn's incredible wit, and lightning-fast costume changes to a world that needs more scrapbooking, sea monkeys, and a freakin' hoverboard!

Warbling sopranos, bellowing basses, someone in the back row at least a line ahead of everyone else, fusty robes, intransigent organists and temperamental clergy - welcome to the world of the local church choir. There is no better observer of the volatile relations between the clergy, the choir, the organist and the congregation than Reg Frary who has seen it all in over seventy years' first hand experience of sitting in the choir stalls Sunday by Sunday and at weddings, funerals, carol services, festivals and other occasions. Here are 23 new stories, written with characteristic affection and wit, which will greatly entertain Reg's loyal and eager readers.

Lewis Grizzard got his first newspaper job when he was ten years old. Thirty-odd years later (thirty-very-odd years) he's still in the newspaper business-and he's still infuriated by it, still tickled by it, and still very much in love with it. If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground is all about that anger, that great humor and that even greater passion for something that affects every single one of us: the daily newspaper. Grizzard begins with his first writing job (covering a Boy's Church League team in Newman, Georgia), and continues through his college years in Athens, Georgia, where he learned how to do such things as prepare a front-page headline and layout in case Jesus Christ ever returned to earth. (Headline: HE'S BACK!) He examines the great Atlanta years and the cold Chicago winters-as sports editor of the Sun-Times, during which Grizzard lost his second wife, his cool, and very nearly his sanity, but also learned an awful lot about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This is Grizzard's funniest-and his best-book yet.

Welcome to Pearl's Feed and Seed Most coming-of-age stories are fraught with symbolism, hidden metaphors, and a heaping mound of other literary devices. Not this one. Not mine. You see, I came of age while working at a dusty Texas feedstore. A place where To Kill a Mockingbird involved a twelve-year-old and a BB gun. Of Mice and Men was a problem easily solved with rat poison. And David Copperfield was nothing more than a dude that made shit disappear. In the spring of 1989, I went to work at Pearl's Feed and Seed for a man named Doyle Suggs. On the surface Doyle and I had little in common: I was a rosy-cheeked boy of sixteen; he was a twice-divorced, thirty-year-old high school dropout. I had yet to go on my first date; he was trading sex for horse feed in the back room. Sure, Doyle was a lout, a liar, and a lecherous derelict. To this day, he remains the most morally bankrupt man I've ever met, yet my life wouldn't be half as blessed, had I missed out on his misguided education. The Feedstore Chronicles is a mostly true account of those days and when murderous ex-wives, well-hung bulldogs, and feed room fornication were all part of a normal day at Pearl's.

It's the biggest, happiest, scariest day of your life - but you don't have to feel alone. Michael Powell has collected wit and wisdom from a host of celebrity couples as they recall the day they tied the knot. From dodgy stag/hen night antics, to mislaid rings and dodgy Best Man speeches, you'll be laughing well into your honeymoon and beyond.

The incomparable Lisa Scottoline, along with Daughter Francesca, is back with more wild and wonderful wit and wisdom.

"New York Times" bestselling author Lisa Scottoline struck a chord with readers, book clubs, and critics with her smash-hit essay collection, "Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog." This time, Lisa teams up with Daughter Francesca to give their mother-daughter perspective on everything from blind dates to empty calories, as well as life with the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, Mother Mary, who won't part with her thirty-year-old bra. Three generations of women, triple the laughs---and the love.

Inspired by their weekly "Chick Wit" column for "The Philadelphia Inquirer"," " Lisa and Francesca spill all their family secrets---which will sound a lot like yours. And you'll have to put this book down, just to stop laughing.

LISA ON DIETING I'm backsliding with carbohydrates, which is the food version of ex-sex.

FRANCESCA ON CUTTING THE CORD I thought I said, "I am going to see my cousin's new apartment," but in Mom-speak that translates to: "I am going to meet certain death in the New York City subway tunnels that are soon to be my tomb."

LISA ON MOTHER MARY: Most people have a list of Things To Do, but Mother Mary has a list of Things Not To Do. At the top is Don't Go to the Movies. Other entries include Don't Eat Outside With The Bugs and Don't Walk All Over This Cockamamie Mall.

FRANCESCA ON BEING SINGLE: I'm addicted to the wedding announcements. Worse, I find myself subtracting my age from the bride's. I thought I was a modern woman, turns out I'm a Cathy cartoon.

LISA ON AGING GRACEFULLY Today I noticed my first gray hair. On my chin.

And so much more

Graham Norton is best known as a television presenter, chat show host and comedian. His warm demeanour and dry wit has endeared him to the nation and he is well on his way to securing the status of a national treasure. But as well as presenting and acting, Graham also fulfils another professional role: that of agony uncle to readers of The Daily Telegraph. Every week, scores of people write to Graham with their problems, hoping that his wise words will ease their worries or at least point them in the direction of a solution to their particular concern. The woes about which Graham is asked to offer adive are wide-ranging and include topics such as ungrateful spouses, errant partners, failing relationships, problems in the workplace and social etiquette. Each perfectly-pitched response includes just the right mixture of sound advice, humour and, occasionally, reprimand. We are, after all, fascinated with other people's problems and the winning combination of a glimpse into another's life coupled with a wise and witty reply makes for fascinating reading. This entertaining and often poignant book is a collection of the very best responses to a selection of problems from the man who is rapidly becoming the nation's favourite agony uncle.

Ever wondered what waffle like 'accountability', 'site of contestation' or 'The National Democratic Revolution' really means? Here, in an irreverent nutshell, is your answer. The Ranter's Guide to South Africa pinpoints and defines some of the most overused and abused words, acronyms, piffle and jargon that noisily bamboozle our daily life. It is a satirical dictionary for our times, encompassing politics, business, culture, sport, history and that relentless, buzzing swarm of cliches that assault us every day. At last, comic relief is at hand in this indispensible A-Z digest with its short and sharp definitions that will puncture the bombast, bias and rampant populism circulating on all sides. Keep this subversive manual close by, it could save your sanity ...

The 1950s were simple times to grow up. For Lewis Grizzard and his buddies, gallivanting meant hanging out at the local store, eating Zagnut candy bars and drinking "Big Orange bellywashers." About the worst thing a kid ever did was smoke rabbit tobacco rolled in paper torn from a brown grocery sack, or maybe slick back his hair into a ducktail and try gyrating his hips like Elvis. But then assassinations, war, civil rights, free love, and drugs rocked the old order. And as they did, Grizzard frequently felt lost and confused. In place of Elvis, the Pied Piper of his generation, Grizzard now found wormy-looking, long-haired English kids who performed either half-naked or dressed like Zasu Pitts. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself is the witty, satiric, nostalgic account of Grizzard's efforts to survive in a changing world. Sex, music, clothes, entertainment, and life itself receive the Grizzard treatment. In this, his sixth book, Grizzard was never funnier or more in tune with his readers. He might not have felt so good himself, but his social commentary and humor can still make the rest of us feel just fine.

Laughing Store is just what we need in times of troubles and uncertainties such as these. A book of humour from an acclaimed master of laughter, it lifts our hearts and raises our spirits. Jokes that touch about every domain of existence - from sex to religion, from births to deaths, from politics to the beer parlour, from the courtroom to the hospital. And most important of all, conceived in the supremely original Cameroonian flavour of jokes.

From the bestselling, award-winning author of "You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning," comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere

In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics as:

• Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey
• I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long
• Twitter Woes: I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character
• Movie To-Do List: Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid
• Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTube

And much more For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.

In "Tinsel, " Hank Stuever turns his unerring eye for the idiosyncrasies of modern life to Frisco, Texas--a suburb at once all-American and completely itself--to tell the story of the nation's most over-the-top celebration: Christmas. Stuever's tale begins on the blissful easy-credit dawn of Black Friday, as he jostles for bargains among the crowds at the big-box stores. From there he follows Frisco's true believers as they navigate through three years of holiday drama. Tammie Parnell is the proprietor of "Two Elves with a Twist," a company that decks the halls of other people's McMansions. Jeff and Bridgette Trykoski spend eleven months preparing the visible-from-space, awe-inspiring light display they stage on their lawn each December. And single mother Caroll Cavazos, a devout churchgoer, hopes that the life-affirming moments of the season can transcend her everyday struggles. "Tinsel" is a humane, revealing, and very funny portrait of one community's quest to discover a more perfect holiday amidst the frenzied, mega-churchy, shoparific world of Christmas.

In our current global political climate, we are exposed daily to horrible images of war and pain. Then sometimes, mercifully, we are thrown a lifeline. The viral Instagram account Tiny Gentle Asians is precisely one such lifeline. It's a suite of fun and uplifting images, showcasing adorable pictures of babies - often chubby to the point of absurd - taken by doting mothers across Asia. "It's the best site," says Chelsea Handler, American comedian and TV royalty. "Every morning there's a new fat nugget." The sassy captions which accompany each image are written by Melissa Kenny, the mastermind behind TGA. Lately, though, she's been busy... Melissa has just undertaken her most ambitious project yet: Tiny Gentle Asians, the book! Loaded with exclusive cute content, this book finally brings TGA into the physical world. Each page is a new adventure in newborns. Expect plenty fat rolls, screwed up cheeks, dimples on dimples, implausible costumes and plenty of crying bubs. With the success of her Instagram, Melissa's life has been flooded by the endless submissions from photo-obsessed mums. This book is a careful curation of these submissions, as well as the fruits of her own searches. This book is sure to bring light and joy to any reader with a pulse. We thank Melissa for her noble work in bringing these tots the attention they deserve.

Hello, I'm Jacki. I am not a celebrity or a professional, a genius, a deity, or an heiress with a sex tape. I am an observer, a sarcastic single gal, on the brink of turning thirty who still can't understand why everyone around her takes themselves so damn seriously. On April 1, 2009, I got fake married. I was tired of receiving countless wedding announcements and bridal shower invites and decided that it was my turn to shine. Why couldn't I enjoy the attention and celebrations minus the commitment? Jacki G's Fake Wedding the true story of my journey into fake matrimony. It is a collection of memories and experiences surrounding the preparation of a wedding, and it pokes fun at everyday encounters and the reality of growing older. Hey, what's wrong with faking it?

This book belongs on the desk of every teacher in America
A refreshingly honest look inside the teaching profession, Why Are All the Good Teachers Crazy? is a captivating collection of hilarious stories and unreserved observations from one man's odyssey in the classroom. With equal parts humanity, insanity, and profanity, Frank Stepnowski, a twenty year veteran of the academic wars, offers unique insight into a world everybody knows about but very few understand. "Step" as he was re-christened by his students, pulls no punches in the classroom, and takes no prisoners in his writing debut. The title, which comes from a line that the author heard many times throughout his career, is both a confession and a confirmation. "I wanted a book," he explains, "that would make people laugh out loud but also open their eyes to just how insane the teaching profession can get. With that in mind, the book is a riotous success, providing searing insight into the classroom and giving an iconoclastic voice to a profession that often goes unheard. Why Are All the Good teachers Crazy? is a wake up call for some, a rallying cry for others, and an invitation to laugh and learn for everyone.
Based on actual events, the vivid imagery, colorful characters, and incendiary dialogue of this nuclear powered novel will take readers on a roller coaster ride that they will be talking about long after the ride is over.

This is an EXACT reproduction of a book published before 1923. This IS NOT an OCR'd book with strange characters, introduced typographical errors, and jumbled words. This book may have occasional imperfections such as missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. that were either part of the original artifact, or were introduced by the scanning process. We believe this work is culturally important, and despite the imperfections, have elected to bring it back into print as part of our continuing commitment to the preservation of printed works worldwide. We appreciate your understanding of the imperfections in the preservation process, and hope you enjoy this valuable book.

A collection of topical essays from an afrocentric child of the sixties; covering personal topics from "Why I teach Developmental Math" to "Going Home to Africa." His commentaries also include his unique observations of people ranging from Michael Jackson to Rev. Jeremiah Wright. is a cross between Ralph Wiley and Bill Cosby with a touch of Malcolm X.

This is a reproduction of a book published before 1923. This book may have occasional imperfections such as missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. that were either part of the original artifact, or were introduced by the scanning process. We believe this work is culturally important, and despite the imperfections, have elected to bring it back into print as part of our continuing commitment to the preservation of printed works worldwide. We appreciate your understanding of the imperfections in the preservation process, and hope you enjoy this valuable book.

From his classic plays and screenplays to his sidesplitting pieces for The New Yorker and Premiere, Paul Rudnick is one of our most adored humor writers. Now, in this long overdue collection, he casts his gleefully wicked eye on the world as he sees it: a landscape of stylish dowagers, irascible producers, and full-tilt eccentrics.

From living in a series of increasingly bizarre, altogether fabulous New York City apartments to cavorting with a cast of colorful artists and endearingly perplexing show business personalities who have to be read to be believed, to handling the finer points of putting up with his wonderfully outlandish but lovable family, Rudnick triumphs with I Shudder--a raucously funny collection from one of America's true comedic treasures.

Why do we call the best of something 'the bees' knees'? Where did the term 'barmy army' come from? Which 'colours' do we 'nail to the mast'? How are we ever 'dressed to the nines'? Why do we refer to New York as 'The Big Apple'? There are hundreds of phrases that we use on a daily basis without having a clue about where most of them come from. This book is nothing short of a fascinating ride around the greatest language in the world. So stop getting up to skullduggery, take a pew and have a butcher's at this little tome. Learn about your language in one fell swoop and make sure you never get caught red handed using words you don't understand to bark up the wrong tree! This book really is the cat's whiskers. Once you've read one entry, you'll want to read them all!

From hormones to how-come-Ia (TM)m-not-like-everyone-else questions and insecurities, Borgman and Scott continue to successfully tell teenage horror stories since the strips debut in newspapers in 1997. Readers and fans can find Zits in 1,600 newspapers worldwide, an achievement only 18 comic strips have ever earned.
Lauded by the "Los Angeles Times" "as one of the freshest and most imaginative comic strips" and designated as Best Newspaper Comic Strip twice by the National Cartoonists Society, Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman's "Zits" chronicles many of the scenes that play out under the rooftops of more than 80.5 million homes across the country.
Artfully exploring insecurities, societal pressures, and just plain teenage goofiness, Scott and Borgman contrast the experiences of adolescence and parenthood. Sixteen-year-old Jeremy Duncan is learning to navigate residential byways and high school hallways while the parentals, a.k.a. Connie and Walt Duncan, try to keep pace and find a little peace.

THE FOURTH COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES Q: How does a penguin build a house? A: Igloos it together. The global Instagram sensation, @DadSaysJokes, returns for another collection of side-splitting gags to share with friends and family. Guaranteed to keep the laughs and groans coming in equal measure, the cheesy jokes inside will not disappoint. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with over 5 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme page @Pubity with its 31 million followers. This is his fourth book.

More than 500 quotes are brought together in this book, showcasing the creative minds of some of the thousands of people who have ordered printed tshirts through the website tshirtcandy.com. Some of the quotes will amuse and startle, but don't forget that each and every one was placed prominently across the front (and occasionally back) of a tshirt for all to see. Enjoy this showcase for standing out from the crowd, for being unique, and having the courage to display your message to all, proudly.