Here is our garden. The gate is not locked But don't venture in if you're easily shocked. We admit that our plantings won't please everyone; But if you're unsettled, that's part of the fun. See these creepers - like this one, that's wrapped round your feet? They creep terribly fast, and they only eat meat. Oh, and though they look pretty, please don't pick the flowers; They pick back, and their nails are far sharper than ours. You've seen how our chickens don't scratch in the mud? They're vampire hens, and they much prefer blood. And our goat, with the red eyes like smouldering coals? Satan's his name: he devours human souls. But don't be too frightened: all's not what it seems. These flora and fauna are tissues of dreams; And the monsters we dredge from the depths of our brain Fall asleep when we wake...or they'd drive us insane.

Go further under the covers and stay in bed a little longer with Marian Keyes in this winning follow-up to her smash essay collection, Under the Duvet. Written in the witty, forthright style that has earned her legions of devoted readers, "Cracks in My Foundation" offers an even deeper and more candid look into this beloved author's mind and heart, exploring such universal themes as friends and family, home, glamour and beauty, children, travel, and more. Marian's hilarious and thoughtful take on life makes her readers feel they are reading a friend, not just an author.

Marian continues to entertain with her reports from the trenches, and throws in some original short fiction as well. Whether it's visiting Siberia, breaking it off with an old hairdresser, shopping (of course!), turning "forty," living with her beloved husband, Himself (a man beyond description), or musing on the F word (feminism), Marian shares the joys, passions, and sorrows of her world and helps us feel good about our own. So grab a latte and a pillow and get ready to laugh your slippers off!

Sad people who sit in front of a television set wishing they could get some adventure in their lives should take note of the contents of this small tome as it proves beyond doubt that even in the prime of life the rush of adrenaline can still be achieved. This is the second volume of factual events undertaken by a group of people who should have the wisdom of age but choose to ignore it.

As a nuclear engineer, Zsolt Stani k lived for decades in the fascinating world of atoms, nuclear reactions and reactors and was surrounded in his everyday life with the language of the trade. It dawned on him that there was also another world - the everyday life of people which was inspiring and often amusing. His stories and books are inspired by this and deal with absurd situations and normal human challenges. He was born in Kozice, now Slovak Republic. Between 1993 and retirement, in 2006 he held the position of Information Manager at the UN International Atomic Energy Agency in Vienna, Austria. At present he lives in Prague, Czech Republic and holds the position of Consultant in Nuclear Knowledge Management. The book contains 17 mostly funny short stories. The three more voluminous are Hollywood Contemplations, Everyone Yearns for Svetlana and An Angle in Hell - Betty, the Story. Hollywood Contemplations is the story of a group of retired senior citizens who refuse to sit around doing nothing and hence, with daring spirit, venture into the world of fantasy and become famous movie stars. Great stuff. Svetlana is the young Russian lady whom everyone desires. It is the story of marital and extra-marital relationships with a fabulous twist in the tale. It presents a man of two faces who successfully pretends to lead a comfortable and serene married life and at the same time leads an intimate life with his lover. An Angel in Hell is the story of Betty, a true-to-life heroine of post-war Europe. It describes the bravery with which she overcomes the trials and tribulations of everyday life in Britain at that time.

Whether he's fighting fires, passing a kidney stone, hammering down I-80 in an 18-wheeler, or meditating on the relationship between cowboys and God, Michael Perry draws on his rural roots and footloose past to write from a perspective that merges the local with the global.

Ranging across subjects as diverse as lot lizards, Klan wizards, and small-town funerals, Perry's writing in this wise and witty collection of essays balances earthiness with poetry, kinetics with contemplation, and is regularly salted with his unique brand of humor.

A celebration of and behind-the-scenes look at Jerry Seinfeld’s groundbreaking streaming series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

Over eleven seasons and eighty-four episodes, Jerry Seinfeld drove around in classic cars, grabbing coffee and chatting with the funniest people alive. He reminisced with the late Garry Shandling; bantered with legends Steve Martin, Tina Fey, and Eddie Murphy; reunited with the cast of Seinfeld; and even paid a visit to President Barack Obama in the Oval Office. These and dozens of other guests talked about the intricacies of stand-up, the evolution of their careers and personal lives, and whatever else popped into their brilliant minds. The result was not only a hilarious collection of casual yet intimate conversations—a rare opportunity for viewers to witness their favorite performers unscripted and unvarnished—but arguably the most important historical archive about the art of comedy ever amassed.

Now that archive is preserved in the form of a gorgeously designed and carefully curated book. Seinfeld has hand-picked the show’s keenest insights and funniest exchanges. Also included is a fascinating oral history featuring interviews with dozens of crew members, executives, guests, and Seinfeld himself that details how this scrappy creative experiment landed unprecedented access to the White House, earned multiple Emmy nominations, and helped lead the streaming revolution.

Featuring a newly written introduction by Seinfeld and filled with beautiful never-before-seen production photos, this book is essential reading for comedy lovers, car aficionados, coffee connoisseurs, and Jerry Seinfeld fans.

Brilliant, witty, perceptive essays about fly-fishing, the natural world, and life in general by the acknowledged master of fishing writers.
For the first time, two of John Gierach's most popular fishing books are collected in one volume--a double dose of delight for longtime fans or first-time visitors to Gierach country.
As Gierach astutely observes in "Dances with Trout, ""Fly-fishing is solitary, contemplative, misanthropic, scientific in some hands, poetic in others, and laced with conflicting aesthetic considerations. It's not even clear if catching fish is actually the point." This observation might also describe Gierach's writing--catching fish might be the subject, but most of the fun and (mis)adventure comes well before that point. Whether it's fishing close to home waters (Colorado) or farther afield (Alaska, Scotland, Texas); ice-fishing, tournament fishing, or night fishing; fishing for trout, salmon, carp, splake, or grayling; fishing with familiar companions like A.K. Best or the enigmatic "Zen master among fishing guides"; no detail of the fishing life is too insignificant or too absurd for Gierach.
As he writes in "Another Lousy Day in Paradise, ""The real truth about fly-fishing is, it is beautiful beyond description in almost every way, and when a certain kind of person is confronted with a certain kind of beauty, they are either saved or ruined for life, or a little bit of both." So start reading and be saved--or ruined--by Gierach's wonderful insights into the world around us.

Khaya Dlanga has established himself as one of the most influential individuals in South African media, particularly social media, a platform he uses to promote discussion on topics that range from the frivolous to the profound. In to quote myself, Khaya recounts entertaining and moving stories about his roots and upbringing in rural Transkei, how he made his mark at school as well as his time spent studying advertising and as a stand-up comedian. He also shares his political views, how he overcame homelessness to become one of the most influential marketers in South Africa and he gives the reader a dose of the truly weird and wonderful that is routinely a part of his life.

From his classic plays and screenplays to his sidesplitting pieces for The New Yorker and Premiere, Paul Rudnick is one of our most adored humor writers. Now, in this long overdue collection, he casts his gleefully wicked eye on the world as he sees it: a landscape of stylish dowagers, irascible producers, and full-tilt eccentrics.

From living in a series of increasingly bizarre, altogether fabulous New York City apartments to cavorting with a cast of colorful artists and endearingly perplexing show business personalities who have to be read to be believed, to handling the finer points of putting up with his wonderfully outlandish but lovable family, Rudnick triumphs with I Shudder--a raucously funny collection from one of America's true comedic treasures.

Named One of the Most Anticipated Books of 2022 by Vogue, BuzzFeed, Bustle, Marie Claire, Harper's Bazaar, Electric Lit, Thrillist, Glamour, CNN, and Shondaland "Wickedly funny and heartstoppingly vulnerable...every page twinkles with brilliance." -Refinery29 Perfect for fans of Samantha Irby and Trick Mirror, a funny, whip-smart collection of personal essays exploring the intersection of queerness, relationships, pop culture, the internet, and identity, introducing one of the most undeniably original new voices today. Jill Gutowitz's life-for better and worse-has always been on a collision course with pop culture. There's the time the FBI showed up at her door because of something she tweeted about Game of Thrones. The pop songs that have been the soundtrack to the worst moments of her life. And of course, the pivotal day when Orange Is the New Black hit the airwaves and broke down the door to Jill's own sexuality. In these honest examinations of identity, desire, and self-worth, Jill explores perhaps the most monumental cultural shift of our lifetimes: the mainstreaming of lesbian culture. Dusting off her own personal traumas and artifacts of her not-so-distant youth she examines how pop culture acts as a fun house mirror reflecting and refracting our values-always teaching, distracting, disappointing, and revealing us. Girls Can Kiss Now is a fresh and intoxicating blend of personal stories, sharp observations, and laugh-out-loud humor. This timely collection of essays helps us make sense of our collective pop-culture past even as it points the way toward a joyous, uproarious, near-and very queer-future.

When "New York Times" bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire...

What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin.

In thirty-five hilarious essays, "New York Times" bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news.

But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series.

Uncomfortably honest, "I Hate Your Guts" is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers.

Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard.

Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off.

For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, "I Hate Your Guts" is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that 'it's in the way that you tell them', Dads - for the best part of forever - have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it's telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say - jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers - but don't tell your dad that, it'll only encourage him!

With over 420k followers on Twitter, The Didn't Happen of the Year Awards exposes, celebrates and ridicules social media users who, shall we say, are prone to a little lying exaggeration. Whether it's Chris Eubank telling the world that aged 18, he should have won $100k on the American lottery but got diddled out of it by the grocery store guy only to use it as motivation to win a world title six years later, or Britney Spears claiming to have run the 100m in a little over five seconds, the DIDN'T HAPPEN OF THE YEAR AWARDS OFFICIAL BOOK is full of hyperbole, embellishment and embroidery from a whole host of online exaggerators. The book is filled with exclusive content including the real story behind Tom Zanetti and his supposed helicopter ride which was featured in The Mirror, as well as how the DHOTYA got brought up in UK Parliament.

'So funny it will make you sick' TIME OUT 'Cooper's letters are absurd, pointless and very, very funny' RICKY GERVAIS 'The funniest book you'll read' THE GUARDIAN _______________ The massive bestselling book featuring the wonderfully silly letters of Robin Cooper (aka Friday Night Dinner creator Robert Popper). For several years, Robin Cooper has been plaguing department stores, hotels, associations, fan clubs and a certain children's book publisher with his letters. So who is Robin Cooper? Architect, thimble designer, trampoline tester and wasp expert, he is all of these things - it just depends on who he is writing to... This cult hit is a collection of Robin's mad-cap letters to everyone from Prince Charles to the Peanut Council, Harrods to the British Halibut Association - no one is safe. The resulting replies, as well as Cooper's replies-to-these-replies, will have you in hysterics. Letter writing will never be the same again.

Traditionally, women share their secrets with their hairdressers. But what about their manicurists, masseurs, chi gong teachers, and tattoo artists? In Damage Control, women wax poetic about the experts and gurus who help them love themselves, sharing stories of everything from friendships born in the make-up chair to the utter dismay of a truly horrible haircut.

Minnie Driver finally meets a Frenchman who understands her hair . . . and tries to teach her not to hate it.

Marian Keyes remembers the blow-dry that pushed her over the edge.

Francesca Lia Block tells the ugly story of the plastic surgeon who promised to make her beautiful.

Rose McGowan explains why it's harder to be depressed when you're glamorous . . . and shows how it takes a village to transform from mere mortal to movie star.

Witty and wise, Damage Control is an intimate, sometimes dark, look at our experiences with the professionals who pluck, prod, and pamper every inch of our bodies--and a reminder why we surrender ourselves to their (hopefully) very capable hands.

*Please note this is not a novel, but a companion book for Reacher fans* NOW UPDATED TO INCLUDE A Q&A WITH LEE CHILD AND ALAN RITCHSON, STAR OF PRIME TV'S HIT SERIES, REACHER My name is Jack Reacher. No middle name, no address. I'm a man with a rule. People leave me alone, I leave them alone. If they don't, I don't. As every Reacher fan knows, you don't have to break the rules if you make the rules. Rule 1. NEVER VOLUNTEER FOR ANYTHING Rule 2: BE ON YOUR FEET AND READY Rule 3. SHOW THEM WHAT THEY'RE MESSING WITH Rule 4: DON'T BREAK THE FURNITURE Rule 5: IF IN DOUBT, DRINK COFFEE 'There's only one Jack Reacher. Accept no substitutes' MICK HERRON

Buy a pair of Levi's, lose the Russian accent, become an American... how hard could it be? Moscow, 1988. After years of antisemitic harassment, countless hours waiting in line for toilet paper, and having zero access to cool jeans, Margarita decides it's time to get the hell out of the Soviet Union. While dreaming of buying the boat-sized Buick she'd seen in a pirated VHS of Miami Vice and getting a taste of whatever it is Bruce Springsteen is singing about, she comes up with a plan to escape Mother Russia for good. When Margarita arrives in the US with her family, she has one objective - become fully American as soon as possible, and leave her Soviet past behind. But she soon learns that finding her new voice is harder than avoiding the KGB. Because, how do you become someone else completely? Is it as simple as changing your name, upgrading your wardrobe and working on your pronunciation of the word 'sheet'? Can you let go of old habits (never, ever throw anything away), or learn to date without hang-ups ('there is no sex in the Soviet Union' after all)? Will you ever stop disappointing your parents, who expect you to become a doctor, a lawyer, an investment banker and a classical pianist - all at the same time? And can you still become the person you dreamed you'd be, while learning to embrace parts of yourself you've wanted to discard for good when you immigrated? Absolutely hilarious, painfully honest and sometimes heart-breaking, the award-winning I Named My Dog Pushkin will have fans of David Sedaris and Samantha Irby howling with laughter at Margarita's failures, her victories and the life lessons she learns as she grows as both a woman and an immigrant, in a world that often doesn't appreciate either. What readers are saying about I Named My Dog Pushkin: 'Hilariously funny, whip-smart and absolutely fascinating... Silver shows that the only person she needs to ever become is herself. Just amazing.' Caroline Leavitt, New York Times bestselling author of Pictures of You and With or Without You 'Laugh-out-loud funny... a particular pleasure to see our splintered country through the eyes of this determined and appreciative emigree.' NPR Books 'An eye-opener... a whole other brand of Jewish humor... The book's wit, drama and erudition appear to me wholly miraculous. Margarita deserves a literary prize.' Alicia Bay Laurel, New York Times bestselling author of Living on the Earth 'Hysterically funny and thought-provoking... perfect for anyone fascinated with the USSR' FangirlNation 'I thoroughly enjoyed Margarita's witty and acerbic voice. This book was a delight!' Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat 'Hilarious... From one USSR immigrant to another... I related a lot.' Margarita Levieva, HBO's The Deuce 'Hilarious and thought-provoking.' California Bookwatch 'A memoir like this is so very rare, one in which you learn a great deal, while laughing throughout. Highly, highly recommended.' Wandering Educators 'Plunges the reader into a world in which Coca-Cola is synonymous with freedom... riveting... moving... Gokun Silver is a gifted, witty writer.' Los Angeles Review of Books 'Sure to delight while tugging at your heartstrings.' Jewish Book Council 'Had me laughing and smiling all the way through... a perfect balance of wit and seriousness... Superb.' Goodreads reviewer 'Laughed my socks off!' Goodreads reviewer 'I loved this book so much... I just could not stop reading.' NetGalley reviewer 'A sharp, witty memoir... Margarita captured Jewish joy and grief together perfectly.' Goodreads reviewer 'Darkly funny... reminiscent of other acerbic comedian authors like Sara Barron... fascinating.' NetGalley reviewer

The Becket List is a not entirely serious compendium of ‘First World Problems’ – the sort of stuff that drives us round the bend on a daily basis. How is it that atonal music, bus stations, cling-film and coat-hangers can bugger us up so comprehensively? Or passport control people, modern poetry, or just about anything you’ll find in a typical hotel bedroom? Embracing both the inanimate – from allen keys to rawlplugs – and the animated (well, in some cases) – from your fellow-travellers to every third-rate waiter who ever walked the earth ¬– this book is essential for your sanity. As such, this comprehensive A to Z provides a signal service to humanity.

The iconic Instagram page @DadSaysJokes returns with a fresh batch of dad jokes to share with your nearest and dearest. With cringeworthy gags for every occasion, Dad Jokes: The Laugh-out-loud Edition is the perfect gift for Father's Day, birthdays, Christmastime and beyond. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with nearly 6 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme Instagram page @Pubity with over 31 million followers. This is his sixth book.

A hilarious (or groan-worthy) look at the rite of passage that all dads go through. Do you think your jokes are hilarious, without fail? Ever thought something was sidesplittingly funny only to have the rest of your family look at you with pity and disdain? It probably means that you’ve succumbed to the daft, ill-advised things all Dads say and do – the things you swore you’d never do! – you’ve fallen for Dad-isms. In this hilarious book you’ll find embarrassing anecdotes and true stories, cringeworthy jokes, sayings, quotes and all manner of quirky nonsense that dads come up with to keep you (but mostly him) amused. From excruciating things dads say at weddings to the cheesy phrases that make you sigh but him guffaw, from dad dancing to the crazy things they save up for the most inappropriate moments... these dad-isms are so bad they’re almost good.