A compilation of Jokes, One-liners and Poems guaranteed to be the funniest material ever stolen/borrowed from the internet. You will hear such jokes as: A day without sunshine is like, well, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. You can't have everything, where would you put it? Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. Pick up lines overheard from men to women: Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: So, wanna go back to my place ? Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? Things you should not say to a cop: 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? YOU'RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN... The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people." Think about this, Not That.... I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Slogan's ..............................WHAT? On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." Some Men Jokes.... What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What is the thinnest book in the world? "What Men Know About Women" How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One ... men will screw anything. Just Sayin: The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. I live in my own little world, but it's ok they know me here. "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast." I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive." Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted. Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom. "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?" Welcome To Shit Creek Sorry, We're Out of Paddles Rules of life so to speak: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape . 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right." Lawyer stuff: These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down & now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. and so much more...... This will be the funniest 90 minute read ever.

D is for depressing, D is for dejected, D is for devastating and difficult...

Tongue Twisters for Kids is a book of Tongue Twisters, that are age appropriate and guaranteed to be clean. Tongue Twisters for Kids is a part of the Best Joke book for Kids series by Peter MacDonald. Tongue Twisters are great fun and are a great source of laughter with a bunch of friends, as well as being educational and exercises for good Diction. Kids Jokes, jokes for kids of all ages but the adults will get them too Tongue twisters are a real challenge to say for any kid( and most adults). They use similar sounding syllables, words and sounds repetitively, making it easy for anyone to trip over the words. While tongue twisters for kids can be a whole lot of fun, they also have many practical benefits to offer. Best Joke book for kids are styled for as kids grow older they find certain jokes less and less funny. This means you have to come up with age appropriate jokes to keep them entertained. Jokes are more than just for laughs. They also stimulate thought and educate.

101 Silly Tongue Twisters For Kids is all about having fun and being silly with your children, grandchildren, friends, or anyone who likes to laugh. Children's laughter is a special thing. I can't tell you how much fun I have had through the years telling jokes and doing tongue twisters with my children. This book is meant to cheer you up, help make friends, or just be downright silly. I hope this book helps you to share the joy of laughter with your kids and puts a smile on yours and theirs faces. -Charlie Chestnut

Quite simply a little booklet of 50 lists of 50 things, to do or not to do, to say or not to say, to think or not to think, etc., etc.,.....

Let's have fun with this witty and insulting "Yo Mamma Jokes.'' This collection of Yo Mamma Jokes is hilarious and will have you and your friends laughing so hard. This joke book features: Yo Mamma's SO FAT Yo Mamma's TEETH ARE SO YELLOW Yo Mamma's SO UGLY Yo Mamma's SO LONELY Yo Mamma's SO STUPID Yo Mamma's SO DIRTY Yo Mamma's SO SKINNY Yo Mamma's BREATH SMELLS SO BAD Yo Mamma's SO OLD Yo Mamma's SO BIG Yo Mamma's SO SHORT Yo Mamma's SO CHEAP Yo Mamma's SO HAIRY Yo Mamma's SO SMELLY Yo Mamma's SO LAZY Yo Mamma's SO FLAT Yo Mamma's SO GROUCHY Yo Mamma's SO FAKE Yo Mamma's EARS ARE SO BIG Yo Mamma's SO SLOW Yo Mamma's SO GREASY Yo Mamma's HEAD IS SO BIG Yo Mamma's SO DARK Yo Mamma's SO MEAN Yo Mamma's SO TALL Yo Mamma's SO BORING Yo Mamma IS LIKE More Yo Mamma Insults Have a copy of this book and enjoy these Yo Mamma Jokes today

When you have the ability to tell a great joke, you can lighten a mood. You can make someone feel more comfortable. You can make someone happy. The power of laughter is real. You can instantly become the life of the party, the one that people want to sit next to, the one that gets everyone else in a better mood. Children are especially easy to entertain. All children love to hear a joke and some of the best jokes are made up by kids. There is nothing like a good joke to make a boring situation instantly fun. "300 Jokes for Kids" contains jokes about: Jokes for the Animal Lover in All of Us Why Waste Time? Tell a Joke Jokes from Around the House Fowl Jokes Jokes Your Parents will Love to Share at Work Jokes from Around the World Jokes to Make Your Parent's Dinner Guests Chuckle Jokes that Make You Go Eeewwww Jokes from the Back Seat of the Car Jokes for Your Mummy and Deady Not another Chicken Who Crossed the Road Joke Jokes to Tell at the Cafeteria Table Jokes to Make Your Classmates Crack Up Jokes that Your Coach will get a Kick out of Jokes that Famous People would Find Funny A Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor Away Knock, Knock Jokes One More Giggle before Bed Get a copy of this book and have a fun time sharing jokes with your kids

I have always enjoyed a good joke. Over a period of many years, I have been accumulating my favorites in a sort of informal way. I finally decided to compile a list of what I consider the best jokes in the collection. The result of this is what you now hold in your hand: "The five hundred funniest jokes I have ever heard or read." There are jokes of all kinds herein. I have included one-liners, quips, top-tens, detailed humorous stories, ethnic jokes and of course jokes covering marriage and the battle of the sexes. Being an avid golfer, I have included a section devoted to golf as well. Each chapter begins with an illustration depicting one of the jokes in that chapter. It is my sincere hope that contents of this book will bring you as much laughter and enjoyment as they have brought me in compiling them.