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A secret torment for some, a proud responsibility for others, ‘black tax’ is a daily reality for thousands of black South Africans. In this thought-provoking and moving anthology, a provocative range of voices share their deeply personal stories.
With the majority of black South Africans still living in poverty today, many black middle-class households are connected to working-class or jobless homes. Some believe supporting family members is an undeniable part of African culture and question whether it should even be labelled as a kind of tax. Others point to the financial pressure it places on black students and professionals, who, as a consequence, struggle to build their own wealth. Many feel they are taking over what is essentially a government responsibility. The contributions also investigate the historical roots of black tax, the concept of the black family and the black middle class.
In giving voice to so many different perspectives, Black Tax hopes to start a dialogue on this widespread social phenomenon.
“Whenever I see a Manyano woman, I see a woman who has the world in her hands and has the power to make things change because of the power that is prayer”. - Stella Shumbe
“As a Manyano, you listen to painful journeys and experiences of people … They talk about abuse at home, unemployment, children who are reckless and all the sensitive things you can think of … We come together to share our pain and struggles.’ - Nobuntu Madwe
Lihle Ngcobozi, herself the progeny of three generations of Manyano women, takes an original, fresh look at the meaning of the Manyano. Between male-dominated struggle narratives and Western feminist misreadings, this church-based women's organisation has become a mere footnote to history.
Long overlooked as the juggernaut of black women’s organising that it has been and continues to be, the Manyano has immense historical and cultural meaning in black communities across the country. To this day, it is still evolving to meet the changing needs of black South Africans. Here, the Manyano women speak for themselves, in an African feminist meditation rendered by one of their own.
In 1990 two South African mothers were faced with an impossible choice, one that no mother should ever have to make. Should they surrender the child they had lovingly raised in order to get back the baby they had given birth to?
Megs Clinton-Parker and Sandy Dawkins chose nurture over nature, simply unable to give up their two-year-old sons who were switched at birth at an East Rand hospital. Instead they decided to try to make their strange relationship work, although they lived in different cities, 500km apart. And they decided to sue the South African state, whose negligence had altered the fates of two families forever. Robin Dawkins and Gavin Clinton-Parker grew up living each other’s lives, brothers-but-not-brothers, acutely aware that their mothers’ hearts were torn.
Unable to escape the consequences of the swap, Robin decided at the age of 15 that it was time to claim what was rightfully his, adding a further twist to this bitter saga.
A quest is never what you expect it to be.
Elizabeth Madeline Martin spends her days in a retirement home in Cape Town, watching the pigeons and squirrels on the branch of a tree outside her window. Bedridden, her memory fading, she can recall her early childhood spent in a small wood-and-iron house in Blackridge on the outskirts of Pietermaritzburg. Though she remembers the place in detail – dogs, a mango tree, a stream – she has no idea of where exactly it is. ‘My memory is full of blotches,’ she tells her daughter Julia, ‘like ink left about and knocked over.’
Julia resolves to find the Blackridge house: with her mother lonely and confused, would this, perhaps, bring some measure of closure? A journey begins that traverses family history, forgotten documents, old photographs, and the maps that stake out a country’s troubled past – maps whose boundaries nature remains determined to resist. Kind strangers, willing to assist in the search, lead to unexpected discoveries of ancestors and wars and lullabies. Folded into this quest are the tender conversations between a daughter and a mother who does not have long to live.
Taken as one, The Blackridge House is a meditation on belonging, of the stories we tell of home and family, of the precarious footprint of life.
“Ek het my mammie sien loop na die hofgebou met ’n hoodie aan en ’n doek oor haar gesig. Sy het byna gelyk soos iemand wat arm is. Mense het haar uitgevloek … Dit het my gebreek. Dit is die vrou wat elke dag daar was vir my, wat middagete vir my en my vriende gemaak het as ons van die skool af kom, en hier is sy nou op televisie en word ’n misdadiger genoem.”
Die ontvoering van baba Zephany Nurse uit die kot langs haar ma se hospitaalbed het die hele Suid-Afrika aangegryp. Haar desperate ouers het herhaaldelik gepleit dat sy veilig terugbesorg word, maar daar was geen teken van die baba nie. Vir 17 jaar lank, op haar verjaarsdag, het die Nurse-gesin kerse aangesteek en gehoop en gebid.
’n Klipgooi van die Nurse-gesin af het die 17-jarige Miché Solomon pas met matriek begin. Sy het ’n kêrel gehad en toegewyde ouers. Sy het gedroom oor die matriekafskeid en die rok wat haar ma vir haar sou maak. Sy het nie die vaagste benul gehad dat ’n nuwe meisie in die skool, wat ongelooflik baie soos sy lyk, en ’n DNS-toets haar wêreld tot in sy fondamente sou skud nie.
Miché is nou 22. Met verbysterende volwassenheid, eerlikheid en deernis vertel sy hier vir die eerste keer háár storie, in haar eie woorde, oor wat dit beteken om lief te hê en geliefd te wees, en om jou eie identiteit op te eis.
“I saw my mommy walking to the court with a hoodie on and a scarf covering her face. She looked almost like someone that was poor. People were cursing at her… and that broke me. This is the woman who was there for me every day, making lunch for me and my friends when we came from school, and now here she is on television being called a criminal.”
The kidnapping of baby Zephany Nurse from the cot beside her mother’s hospital bed made headline news. Desperate pleas from her parents to return her safely went unanswered. There was no trace of the baby. For 17 years, on her birthday, the Nurse family lit candles and hoped and prayed.
Living not far away from the Nurses, 17-year-old Miché Solomon had just started Matric. She had a boyfriend. She had devoted parents. She was thinking about the upcoming school dance and the dress her mother was going to make for her. She had no idea that a new girl at her school, who bore an uncanny resemblance to her, and a DNA test would shake her world to its foundations.
Miché is now 22. This is her story – for the first time in her own words. Told with astonishing maturity, honesty and compassion, it is also a story of what it means to love and be loved, and of claiming your identity.
A gripping, no-holds-barred origin story from one of London's most beloved socialites. In this candid memoir Basia lays bare the many vicissitudes of her youth and examines her tumultuous relationship with her mother; a dazzling, riotous and truly eccentric character with an explosive dark side. After a bucolic childhood in rural Surrey, Basia spent her adolescence in London living with Camilla and a string of surrogate fathers. Abandoned to her own devices following the arrival of Camilla's despotic second husband, she quickly rose to become a teenage 'It girl' of high society before an unplanned pregnancy and fall from grace led her to flee to Australia. Trapped in an unhappy marriage in a dismal and isolated suburb of Melbourne, her increasingly unhinged mother soon followed her and the situation deteriorated, leaving Basia surrounded by alcoholism, abuse and death while trying to protect her two young children. Following a narrow escape and lengthy custody proceedings, Basia's story is one of redemption, as she has reclaimed the life that misfortune dispossessed her of and has been one of the leading lights of London society, and no stranger to the royal household, throughout the many years since.
In the realm of amusing, deadpan greetings cards, Cath Tate is the original and best. In her thirty-year career she has created thousands of witty, original and often subversive cards, featuring grim-faced old ladies, ludicrously dressed 1920s gentlemen and bizarre-looking children, paired with text that perfectly captures her highly individual and devastatingly funny view on the world. In this highly amusing new addition to the series, Cath gives us the lowdown on life as a mother. It embraces all aspects of motherhood, from that first terrifying journey home from the hospital with your screeching bundle of joy, through teenage tantrums and the empty nest, to those disconcerting years when you begin to turn into your own mother. Insightful, quirky and downright hilarious, this book is the perfect present for your own mum, or someone who's about to become one. Word count: 2,000
A lovely look at the types of Dads there are - which type of dad are you 'blessed' with? Share laughs and fun with dad this Father's Day with this great gift book Dads. What would we do without them? They may get the raw deal next to Mums but they are always there for you when you need their wallet and for that reason alone they should all be celebrated in their smelly and beerbellied glory - each and every kind. Featuring: the grumpy old man dad, ATM dad, the reckless dad who lets you stay out longer than mum, the dad who has no idea how to turn the oven on and the dad who shows off his new toys to the neighbours, among many other hilarious examples. All dads are different, unique and special - and whether they let you borrow the car or not - they all deserve celebrating! DADTASTIC! is One Small Book for Dads, One Joyful Look at Dad-kinds!
This is a heartbreaking, beautifully written memoir about tragic loss, a family mystery, a son's faith and his long quest to find his absent mother. Darling Baby Mine is the dramatic and moving story of John's search for his mother, who disappeared when he was just four years old following the disintegration of his parents' marriage. Growing up, it was as if she had never existed - he didn't even know her name. The only image he had of her was the vague memory of a woman smoking and laughing. Then, as an adult, he tried to track her down. After surmounting many obstacles, including his father's implacable silence and his own doubts and fears, John finally found her in a UK mental institution where she had been held for thirty-five years. He was then faced with trying to re-establish the deepest of human relationships: the bond between a mother and her child.
Being a dad is a 365-day job. Let this nifty little book help you along the way, with a hilarious dad-related fact for every day of the year. Discover how 26 August is the anniversary of the car you probably learned to drive in, and stroke your smooth chin thoughtfully as you learn that 13 May is the day the electric shaver was invented. Find out when and where the first piece of flatpack furniture was invented (Ancient Greece, no less, and it was more of a temple than a wardrobe...), and, on 19 November, remember that there's always a more incompetent parent than you as you recall the day a certain baby boy was dangled off a balcony. Packed with stories of dad derring-do, this book is the perfect buy for any dad you know, or someone who's about to become one. Word count: 35,000
No relationship is more fulfilling, infuriating, emotional, and problematic than that of mother and daughter. Now, in a work filled with truth, surprises, and humor, renowned psychologist and author Martha Manning offers mothers and daughters of all ages a new way to understand each other. Challenging the accepted premise that this powerful bond must be severed for emotional growth, Manning shows us why this precious attachment is never outgrown, how, if it is damaged, it can be healed, and what will enrich this lifelong commitment while fostering essential independence. The key is empathy, and Manning provides potent tools to help us build stronger ties and celebrate the crazy twists, joys, and secrets inherent in this most glorious of life connections.
Combining personal experiences and scrupulous research, The Common Thread helps each of us develop a mutually empowering relationship -- and laugh, too -- as we more deeply connect with and appreciate the mother or daughter we love.
Chatting with colleagues at the coffee machine is easy enough. Talking to a new colleague is a little less easy. Having an in-depth conversation with someone you do not know, is anything but easy. And, if that someone is either half your age or twice as old, it becomes difficult. This game turns that task into a joyful experience. Lay Your Cards on The Table consists of 60 cards with conversation starters. Choose questions from 3 different categories and you will be having great conversations in no time. You can play this game with 2 people or more. You can start the conversation by randomly asking or answering some of the questions or, if you need some more guidance, you can use the game rules. Although in the end, there really is just one rule: Whatever is discussed on the table, stays there!
Have you ever wondered what your father was like as a boy? What were his first memories, teenage adventures and early opinions of fatherhood? If so, this journal will make the perfect gift for him. Containing thoughtful questions and lined pages for your father to record his history, this journal will create a brilliant opportunity for him to pass on his story and spark conversations about his past. There are questions concerning your father's family tree, his best friends, early career, favourite music, thoughts about fatherhood, regrets and words of wisdom. This hardback journal is sprinkled with famous quotations and thought-provoking poems about fatherhood. Beautifully illustrated and including a ribbon marker to keep the page, the finished book will become a keepsake that you will treasure forever.
Have you ever wondered what your mother was like as a young girl? What were her first memories, teenage adventures and early experiences of motherhood? If so, this journal will make the perfect gift. Containing thoughtful questions and lined pages for your mother to record her history, this journal will create a precious opportunity for her to pass on her story and spark conversations about her past. There are questions concerning your mother's family tree, her best friends, early career, favourite music, thoughts about motherhood, regrets and words of wisdom. This hardback journal is sprinkled with famous quotations and thought-provoking poems about motherhood. Beautifully illustrated and including a ribbon marker to keep the page, the finished book will become a keepsake that you will treasure forever.
From the daughter of Muhammad Ali comes an intimate portrait of the heavyweight boxing champion and a final love letter from a daughter to her father.
Through audio journals, love letters and cherished memories, Ali's daughter Hana tells the story of a very typical and yet fully-unique family, the rise and fall of her parent’s marriage and the struggles they faced as a family surrounding Ali’s loss to Larry Holmes in 1981.
With the decline of Ali’s voice, his recordings are important to history as they are to his personal legacy. At Home with Muhammad Ali offers a candid look at a man who was trying to find his purpose in the world as he realized he was coming to the end of his lucrative sporting career, all the while trying to balance fatherhood and his worldly and political obligations. Additionally, Hana tells of the everyday adventures that the family experienced around the house—with visitors like Michael Jackson and Clint Eastwood dropping by. And for the first time, Hana’s mother Veronica will share her memories of the 12-year relationship with Muhammad.
At Home with Muhammad Ali is a candid and revealing portrait of a legend, a man admired and respected as the greatest sporting icon of our age.
Your mother did not love you as she should have - because of her alcoholism, or her narcissism, or her absence, or her mental illness, or for any number of possible reasons. None of them are your fault, but all of them are your burden. Whatever the reason, it has left unsaid so much that you should have heard from your mother -advice, support, compliments, validation, encouragement and so much more. These Notes From Your Inner Mother are your chance to `hear' them all now. They are what a loving mother would say. They're what you need and deserve to hear. They're designed to read as if they're from your own inner mother, the part of you who is your own wise mother to yourself. This wisdom and love is accessible to you through your quietness and attention, and these notes are from that place of healing and kindness. `I read the notes every day and I appreciate them more than words can say. It has helped me to understand what a real healthy mother and daughter relationship should be.' LC , Ontario `Your short notes have been food for the soul ....' MT, Lisbon, Portugal `The note series has been uplifting and heart-breaking at the same time, but has led me to a better inner dialogue.' ED, Oregon `Your notes are like my daily prayer. Each one for that day has a direction pertaining to me.' MS, Arizona
My Father's Glass Eye is Jeannie's struggle to honour her father, her larger-than-life hero, but also the man who named her after his daughter from a previous marriage, a daughter who died. After his funeral, Jeannie spends the next decade in escalating mania, in and out of hospitals - increasingly obsessed with the other Jeanne. Obsession turns to investigation as she plumbs her childhood awareness of her dead half-sibling and hunts for clues into the mysterious circumstances of her death. It becomes a puzzle she she must solve to better understand herself and her father. Jeannie pulls us into her unravelling with such intimacy that her insanity becomes palpable, even logical. A brilliant exploration of the human psyche, My Father's Glass Eye deepens our definitions of love, sanity, grief, and recovery.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The grandchildren. It's one of the few phrases guaranteed to fill you with both delight and dread - the grandchildren are coming! Of course you love to see them, but what do you do with them for the next few hours - or even days? Thankfully, this book is here to guide you through. Choose from a whole host of delights: Games old and new Magic tricks that even you won't be able to mess up Jokes that will make you the first sit-down stand-up comedian The hours will fly by and, with any luck, you'll have just as much fun as they do!
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