Welcome to Downtrodden Abbey, where a battle for the deed to the property is waged between legitimate aristocrats and literal pretenders to the throne. The Crawfish family--Marry, Supple, Enid, Lady Flora, and Lord Roderick--are content wiling their days away with naughty charades and twenty-two course dinners until the sinking of the Gigantic takes down the next in line to inherit Downtrodden. Soon, cousin Isabich and her son, Atchew, the rightful heir to the Abbey, arrive to claim what's theirs. Downstairs, the servants are running amok, as crippled weakling Brace is aggressively courted by teen hottie Nana, and lady's maid "Potatoes" O'Grotten and her flamboyant sidekick, Tomaine, cause trouble at every turn. The ensuing, insufferably overwrought melodrama takes the reader upstairs and downstairs, into parlours and drawing rooms, boudoirs and bathrooms, and across every class--from the classiest to the classless--in the social pecking order of Edwardian England. Uproariously funny, with a wicked sense of humor that "Downton Abbey "diehards will enjoy, Gillians Fetlocks skewers your favorite characters with panache in this winning parody

UNHOLY ROMANCE Unholy Romance is a hilarious story about Jesus Christ's second coming. His task, if he can manage to stay alive this time, is to conceive a new set of Commandments which are more relevant to the 21st century than those left behind in stone by 'old lick-arse' Moses. For thirty days, Jesus must live amongst the human race as one of their own, adopting their ways, savage and all as that may be. By doing this he will learn to appreciate his subjects true motivations and so develop more appropriate Commandments. His only ammunition on earth during his brief stay is an allowance of three miracles. As instructed by his dad, God the Father, Jesus must communicate the Commandments to the people through a diary, which he will leave behind as the new Bible. It is this diary that forms the basis for Unholy Romance Above all else, this is a tale of an unlikely and ultimately passionate romance between Jesus Christ and Megan Milligan, a feisty, Irish phone sex operator and devoted atheist, as they struggle to come to terms with an unplanned pregnancy TARGET MARKET: Anyone over eighteen who can laugh at life without fear of ending up in Costa del Hell THE REVIEWS: 'I was in floods of laughter. A great read.' NOAH 'It definitely shows a darker side to Jesus, which I would be delighted to take the credit for.' THE DEVIL 'I may yet take a libel action against Jesus for defamation of character. I do not have a drink problem and am not a rampant homosexual, as seems to be portrayed in the book.' THE HOLY SPIRIT 'I have the inside track on the book, which I will sell to the highest bidder.' JUDAS 'I wash my hands of this disturbingly controversial page turner.' PONTIUS PILATE 'I'd need to see some evidence that Jesus actually wrote this book before commenting.' DOUBTING THOMAS 'Go on my son ' GOD THE FATHER 'I could have done with this great read while I was lost in the desert, when all I had for entertainment was a bunch of 'are we there yet?' moaners MOSES 'It's a great book of two halves...and a cover KING SOLOMON LITERARY AGENT COMMENT: "Other samples on the subject of Jesus' return to modern earth have passed across our desks here, but none have shown such promise. I do think this is hilarious and would like to see it in print" PMA Literary & Film Management INC, New York. WARNING: Unholy Romance is a romantic religious parody. Please do not purchase if easily offended by religious parody

When keen Forensic Anthropology student Sarah Bellum has to attend an interview in her housemate's place, with the enigmatic vending machine entrepreneur Crispin Dry of Dry Goods, Inc, it sets off a chain of events that will alter her weekend plans for ever... Sound familiar? Good - it's a parody. Of many stories - almost all of them famous. Just check out the chapter headings for an idea of what's in store Finding herself drawn hypnotically to this dark and complicated (and dead) man - Sarah, her housemate (name as yet unremembered) and their friends become embroiled in a family whose business is steeped in history. Or maybe just lost in it. An action-packed adventure of love, loyalty, war, alcohol, zombies, rickshaws, and squid. Some things will be changed in your hearts afterwards for evermore - but hopefully not the bits that work.

Tired of inspirational quotations or aggressively cheerful people? Tiding and Crabill (writers for the snarky greeting card company, Twisted Tidings) take a knife to many of history's greatest quotations, providing sometimes scathing, sometimes hilarious takedowns of writers from Socrates to Tony Robbins. "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist"? True, but you can do a mean fist bump. The perfect gift for the cynics and curmudgeons in your life

A novelette about love, lust and sheep. When Dolly the sheep (not the one that was cloned) falls for the talented Derek the Weathersheep on her farm, she thinks her world is complete. That's until the arrival of a handsome Spanish lad, Juan the Lovesheep. Dolly falls helplessly for the continental arrival and has to battle her conscience. Can she balance having two men in her life at the same time? Who's going to get hurt? An erotic sheep-based novelette from a leading author of sheep-based fiction in Wales.

Take one part bloodsucker, one part magician, one part ruthless huntress, and throw in a little bondage. What do you get? An all-out battle where arrows fly, teeth gnash, and magic spells clash. Who will survive? Find out in "50 Shades of the Twilight Games," the new graphic novel parody from Bluewater Productions.

Fifty Spades of Grey - Planting the seeds of desire. Christina is trying to turn Dave's attention away from the garden bed and towards her bed. Dave, oblivious as usual just thinks he's found a woman as fascinated as he is by roots, spadework, and the need to tidy up one's bush in time for summer. Fifty Shades of Blokes is a series for us guys who just don't get all the fuss about this Fifty Shades malarkey. When handyman, Dave Woode, does some weekend work for young entrepreneur, Christina Grey, he encounters a woman who is beautiful, brilliant, and desperate to try out a 'bit of rough'. The unworldly, innocent Dave - like almost every man before him - has no idea what's going on, and believes Christina simply shares his passions for sports, DIY and gardening. The series follows the young couple as they embark on a passionate, double-entendre filled exploration of balls, power tools and spreading a bit of seed around. With every story written the way men would like it - incredibly short - the Fifty Shades of Blokes trilogy won't 'possess you' or 'obsess you', but it is quite obviously a parody that will leave you asking: How do men and women ever get together? How many men are really as simple as Dave? What does it say about our sex lives when 'the real books' sell a million copies a week? N.B. This series is intended for immature audiences.

A hilariously twisted collection of nine classic fables that have been given the reboot as satiric bedtime stories for the rich and famous. From "Goldilocks and the Three Tenors" to "The Six Blond Men and the Elephant," you'll be laughing from cover to cover even if you're neither rich nor famous. Illustrated by Tom Hachtman, creator of the comic strip Gertrude's Follies.

"Fake Personal Ads" is the ideal fun book to pass around at a party, to laugh at over lunch with a friend, or to just sit alone with as an amusing companion. There are three types of people: First, those who read personal ads/dating profiles on the internet to find eternal love, or, if not that, then someone to accompany them to karaoke night at the local bar; second, those who read the personals to laugh at the exaggerated opinion people have about themselves and, worse, the unrealistic expectations about what they are looking for in a mate; and, third, those who read dating profiles to laugh at the self-promotion and then, when no one is looking, respond to the ad by claiming that they are new to internet dating, though they have been meeting hundreds of people online for the past eight years. Who can make this stuff up? Actually the author, James Francis Johnson, can make this stuff up and has done so throughout this book. This is a collection of satirical personal ads that group Men and Women promoting themselves on the dating market under a particular theme. For example, one theme is marriage proposals done at sporting events and projected onto the Jumbotron, so that the Men Seeking Women ad is called "I Want to Propose to a Lady on the Jumbotron," while the Women Seeking Men ad is entitled "If You Propose to Me on the Jumbotron, I'll Kill You." This book is for the second type of person, who reads personal ads for laughs.