Have you always wished you had a glamorous career? A spouse who worships you? An awesome set of wheels? A fantabulous social life? With The Fine Art of Delusional Thinking, all these goals can be within your grasp. You'll never again fret about your weight, your monthly bills, your love life, or your bank account. This witty and concise how-to book from best-selling author Bonnie Trachtenberg teaches you everything you'll need to know to turn your humdrum existence into a lifestyle others will envy. So delude your way to a happy life-with help from an expert.

This short story is a fairy tale for adults--though not the sort that will make you feel tingly. Did you ever wish you could change someone? Did you ever wish your neighbor would be someone who would mow his lawn and not listen to loud music? Did you ever wish your family didn't embarrass you in public? This is a fairy tale about a bunch of people who wanted to change an embarrassing, horrible family in the neighborhood. They went to a mad scientist who was able to help them. At first, everyone thought the change was an improvement. However, unexpected consequences resulted from this, which is exactly why we are always warned to be careful what we wish for. There is also a bonus fairy tale at the end--another "be careful what you wish for" story about a princess and a toad.

Recently discovered fragments of parchment and artifacts unearthed have lead to a remarkable discovery of an unknown religious tradition. The Cult of the Divine Diva and Her Fabulous Court's Gospels are explored.

At long last, Pappa Gander gets a few words in edgewise. Read some of your old familiar nursery rhymes rewritten his way, plus a few other rhymes, limericks, some haiku, and stories... Jack and the Beanstalk -- did you ever wonder what happened to the cow? or the beans from the beanstalk? What did Jack do later in life? Find out in Jack and the Beanstalk, the Whole Story, Plus the Sequel... The Adventures of Jack and Jill -- a hilarious blend of a lot of familiar rhymes. Pappa Gander gets things a bit mixed up here, and ends up with a second version of Jack and the Beanstalk, but with the Seven Dwarves instead of the giant... Snow White, from an alternative universe where things happen a bit differently... Robby, the author behind Pappa Gander says: My poetic inspirations were Roald Dahl, Shel Silverstien and Ogden Nash. Also included are some of my cartoons, largly influenced by Gary Larson (Far Side). Some of the rhymes were done strictly because I found words that rhyme in an amusing way (amusing to me, anyway).

Don't just survive-go to war. Weapons and Warfare in the Zombie Apocalypse offers a detailed examination of the weaponry and battle tactics that will help you take the fight to the hordes of the undead. Drawing on a background in the study of ancient and pre-modern warfare, Dr. Alasdair offers the prospective "zompocalypse" survivor a detailed study of the tools and techniques that will make every denizen of the post-apocalypse what they need to become-a warrior. Other zombie guides offer you general information covering a wide range of topics. Where did zombies come from? What causes them to reanimate? This volume is unconcerned with those questions. The focus here is not what caused them to rise, but instead how to destroy them and which tools will help you do so. When the world ends, you must become a warrior. You will have no other choice.

In this hilarious spoof of historic thrillers about everybody's favorite Renaissance Man, Da Vinci has more than just his demons and his code; he's got a head-cold that nearly costs the world The Last Supper and sends the renowned artist-engineer-inventor on a decade-long secret quest to rid mankind of one of its most annoying ailments. Did Leonardo Da Vinci really create a remedy for the common cold only to have it hidden from the world for 500 years? If so, why and, where did he get all those chickens? L.K. Peterson is the author of Fairly Grim Tales, Get the F**k Back to Work and The 2012 Doomsday Planner. Randy Jones's illustrations and cartoons have appeared in the New York Times, Playboy and the National Lampoon.

""Imagine if you will that Mel Brooks has written an erotic parody of Romeo and Juliet and you'll pretty much have this book," Rina Lee, 5-star review. "This is NOT your mother's Shakespeare version of 'Romeo and Juliet' ... it's BETTER " Jackie, 5-star review. "I wonder if Bill Shakespeare is turning over in his grave or laughing - I think the latter," Bill, 5-star review." Eighteen-year-old Juliet is betrothed to Paris, a rich and arrogant relative to royalty with a mouth as dirty as his mind. Her only saving grace is a collection of vibrators and other stimulating toys manufactured by the mysterious R. Across town, Romeo, the mysterious sex-toy scientist himself, is in love with the beautiful Rosaline who treats him like crap. After an anonymous night of passion, Romeo and Juliet learn they are from rival families. With the help of a slutty best friend and a nurse with a secret sexual torture chamber, will Romeo and Juliet finally find their happy ending? Fifty Shades of Romeo and Juliet is an erotic parody that is approximately 38,000 words and more than 100 paper pages long. M.A. DeWitt has written more than 30 books in various genres.

At last, it's Fifty Shades of White. No complicated rules, no outrageous cliches, no repetitive phrases. Just 50 pages of white paper to do with as you please. Because there really only is ONE shade of white - Unless you are an engaged woman looking for a wedding dress, in which case there's white, ivory, pearl, bone, lily, and off-white (which is actually, um...white). A great, frivolous gift for the person who already has everything useful.