Hippocampus returns to Athens from Troy under a curse from Zeus. He has only two days to sacrifice "that which he holds most dear" or be damned to Hades. His frantic search involves the Oracle at Delphi, Socrates and his girl-friend Asparagus. Partially inspired by an Abbot and Costello routine Sophocles explores every aspect of human life and a few in-human ones.

"Willy Loman, Nosferatu (or Biffo, the Vampyre Slayer)" is a parody of two of the most beloved American stage classics, Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman" and Tennessee Williams' "The Glass Menagerie." It turns out that the "Loman Line" is not Miller's lacerating examination of the selling of the American dream and his sympathy for the soul of the everyman, but a line of the Undead (Nosferatu) that have left a ruinous legacy of lunacy and calamity behind them. Willy Loman finds himself brought back to life and seeks revenge, while his two sons somehow become involved with the Wingfield family from "A Glass Menagerie," who have all found themselves reunited in Queens fifteen years after Willy's "first death." Wally of WPDP3 says, "Read the first two and cry; read the third and wonder why."

THE MARX BROTHERS IN WELL, ALL ENDS IN A COMEDY, BY ERROR The Marx Brothers did more than make movies, as they also appeared in live plays. This one, from 1937, is a hilarious spoof of "A Mid-Summer's Night Dream," among others of Shakespeare's works. Groucho is Tylenol, the King of the Fairies, while Chico is Aleve, a rustic shepherd. They meet in the enchanted forest of reversals, where the opposite of what is intended usually occurs. So they each decide to pursue the ladylove of the other, from whom they receive lessons on how to win a female heart. You can imagine the results no, trust me, actually you cannot. As you no longer can see the live play, you will have to read this to see what happens. This is a necessary addition to the collection of any Marx Brothers fan. GROUCHO AND JULIET A play starring Groucho Marx as Romeo; Chico and Harpo as Juliet's parents; and Colombo the Medieval police detective who investigates. Then add "The Dating Game, Italy 1340AD.

ROMANCE NOVEL Smella Rosepetal must find a millionaire husband to finance her baby's heart transplant. She flies home to her father's ranch in Pitchforks, Texas, where she falls in love with Deadward Forest, a wealthy environmentalist vampire. When a deranged murderer is on the loose in Pitchforks, killing romance heroines, Deadward assumes Smella would be safer without him, so Smella goes on a perilous hunt for a rich husband. Time is running out for Smella's baby, and she must escape the Australian Outback, then face down Flabio, an overweight and disgruntled, aspiring cover model, plus enraged vampire wives and their homosexual, vampire, cowboy husbands, a jealous were-gerbil and Smella's strange boyfriend who wants to drain her blood, yet is repulsed by her smell. THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK Before beginning that dark and shadowed journey into a life of eternal damnation, every vampire is required to read THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, a short step-by-step guide to becoming a vampire and then adjusting to the bloodsucking lifestyle. In addition to THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, you will also get THE WERE/SHAPE-SHIFTER HANDBOOK and THE ZOMBIE HANDBOOK. RALPHIE THE SPECIAL WEREWOLF Ralphie doesn't want to get snipped, but his pack is tired of watching him defile the pillow cushions. Now, he's got to find a mate by Halloween night- or else. MELVIN THE DRYCLEANING ZOMBIE Ever since Melvin could remember, he's had a crush on dry cleaning customer, Simone. Too bad he's a zombie and can't remember much. If only Simone would be his girl, or at the very least, let Melvin eat the gooey matter inside her cranium. VAMPIRE SHOE WAREHOUSE Bethany's tired of her dead-end job as a manager at a shoe store, but she can't quit or else her evil boss will expose her secret, resulting in certain death. Henry is a failure who dropped out of wizarding school, but that doesn't stop him from pining over Bethany. Can the world's worst wizard use his magic to save the girl of his dreams? Will that be enough to keep her from feasting on his jugular?

An inspirational piece by famed author Christopher Trimarco. Each page will put a smile on your face.

Antique Piano & Other Sour Notes playfully explores the crescendos and diminuendos of life. From broken hearts to broken appliances, it's all here--in poetry that's refreshingly off-key.

Nick Whittier has mastered a lot of different professions during his nearly seven centuries of existence. Now the lovable vampire is tasked with the most important job that he has ever had. When aliens attack Earth, it is up to Nick and his friends to defeat them. He has killed over 30,000 people to quench his thirst for human blood, but many more will die because of the decisions he makes as President of the United States. The odds are stacked against humanity, and Nick's latest job could be his last. Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales is the fourth book in the humorous Dark Moonlighting series. It explores science fiction cliches and pokes fun at popular movies and television shows like Independence Day, Star Trek, Signs, Battleship and Doctor Who. The Dark Moonlighting Series: Dark Moonlighting Dark Moonlighting 2: Kruse Control Dark Moonlighting 3: Live Free or Dark Moonlighting Hard Dark Moonlighting 4: The One with the Whales Dark Moonlighting 5: Electric Dark Moonlightingaloo

A warped sense of humor isn't required to appreciate Dan's amusingly unconventional brand of comedy, but it certainly helps. If Yogi Berra, Steve Martin and Douglas Adams had a baby together, the result might be something like this book. Our understanding of human biology would certainly be changed, at any rate. This compilation of random funny thoughts is simultaneously dark and naive; both off-the-wall and relatable; paradoxically smart and stupid. Peek into the mind of Dan of the Day and laugh at the dearth of its contents.

The PERFECT GIFT for anyone who has ever broken up with someone or ever been broken up with, or is about to take a trip to Break-up City, population you. 'Ah well,' thinks Martin. 'At least she left me a packet of cigarettes and a little bicycle made out of pipe cleaners.' _____________ Rocco paid a fortune for the website getdianeback.com but it failed to get Diane back. So Rocco built a new Diane in his shed. The Diane runs on a 1kW motor, can run most Android apps, and will probably not run off with Rocco's brother. This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist