Let's face it, there are thousands of books on the market on how to avoid self-destructive behaviour - but how many tell you to embrace self-destruction, enjoy it and pursue it to its fullest extent? The goal of the book is simple: to help you not to help yourself. To that end, the authors offer advice on everything from how to stalk an ex to how to develop a drinking problem. Wondering which gateway drug is right for you? This book will help you decide. Not sure how much degradation you can take? This book will help you push your limits. No matter what self-destructive behaviour you're interested in pursuing, the chances are that this book will have some valuable advice and encouragement for you. There is nothing more life affirming than total destruction, but it can be a difficult and sometimes lonely road. That is why, if you remember only one thing as you read this book, it should be this: the whole point of self-destruction is that it's fun. If you're not having fun, then you might as well be taking vitamins, 'working' on your relationships and reading self-help books. Your goal here should be to develop and pursue your self-destructive tendencies to their fullest potential, and have a good time doing it.

Tired of inspirational quotations or aggressively cheerful people? Tiding and Crabill (writers for the snarky greeting card company, Twisted Tidings) take a knife to many of history's greatest quotations, providing sometimes scathing, sometimes hilarious takedowns of writers from Socrates to Tony Robbins. "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist"? True, but you can do a mean fist bump. The perfect gift for the cynics and curmudgeons in your life

A novelette about love, lust and sheep. When Dolly the sheep (not the one that was cloned) falls for the talented Derek the Weathersheep on her farm, she thinks her world is complete. That's until the arrival of a handsome Spanish lad, Juan the Lovesheep. Dolly falls helplessly for the continental arrival and has to battle her conscience. Can she balance having two men in her life at the same time? Who's going to get hurt? An erotic sheep-based novelette from a leading author of sheep-based fiction in Wales.

Take one part bloodsucker, one part magician, one part ruthless huntress, and throw in a little bondage. What do you get? An all-out battle where arrows fly, teeth gnash, and magic spells clash. Who will survive? Find out in "50 Shades of the Twilight Games," the new graphic novel parody from Bluewater Productions.

What is the universal bathroom sex distress signal? How can you assess the intentions of a cougar that wants to hold your baby? What is the procedure for immolating pesky methamphetamine users? What exactly is Mrs. Right-A-Way's Tincture of Opium Cure-All, and what is it good for? Nowhere else on Earth, dear reader, are you as sure to find practical (mis)information mixed with sensual delights in such prodigious quantities. With advice on everything from snowboarding and cabin safety to the appropriate apprehension of fishes, Dr. Browntrout will taint-er, educate-the reader through the use of fake advertisements, poetry, haiku, essay, panda drawings and anti-affirmations. Dr. Browntrout will amaze and amuse with his sesquipedalian vocabulary and gutter sensibilities, and years of experience in the field of moral improvement. If you fail to laugh after reading this tome, then you are not alive.

"Boo" and Boo" alone occupied and ruled the interior of my mind. At night I dreamed "Boo" only. In my waking hours, I thought 'Boo" only, I heard "Boo" only, I saw "Boo" only, I felt "Boo" only, and I tasted "Boo" only. In short, my mind and therefore my head was full of "Boo." Since "Boo" had stolen the legacy of most thoughts in the interior of my mind, leaving me very little to work with there, I had to find a way to free myself.

Fifty Spades of Grey - Planting the seeds of desire. Christina is trying to turn Dave's attention away from the garden bed and towards her bed. Dave, oblivious as usual just thinks he's found a woman as fascinated as he is by roots, spadework, and the need to tidy up one's bush in time for summer. Fifty Shades of Blokes is a series for us guys who just don't get all the fuss about this Fifty Shades malarkey. When handyman, Dave Woode, does some weekend work for young entrepreneur, Christina Grey, he encounters a woman who is beautiful, brilliant, and desperate to try out a 'bit of rough'. The unworldly, innocent Dave - like almost every man before him - has no idea what's going on, and believes Christina simply shares his passions for sports, DIY and gardening. The series follows the young couple as they embark on a passionate, double-entendre filled exploration of balls, power tools and spreading a bit of seed around. With every story written the way men would like it - incredibly short - the Fifty Shades of Blokes trilogy won't 'possess you' or 'obsess you', but it is quite obviously a parody that will leave you asking: How do men and women ever get together? How many men are really as simple as Dave? What does it say about our sex lives when 'the real books' sell a million copies a week? N.B. This series is intended for immature audiences.

SHOOT-OUT WITH A WILD-EYED MODERATE is a collection of humor, whimsy, and even serious opinion. You may enjoy the collection if you like classic radio, Stan Freberg, Thurber and Benchley, SCTV, SNL, Monty Python, and Immanuel Kant's hilarious 'Critique of Pure Reason.'

Soh Dem Gwaan is the third collection of short stories by Joelle Cohen Wright who continues with side-splitting and laugh-out-loud stories portraying the diverse personalities of the Jamaican culture. As the wonderful mix of characters speak in the rich Jamaican dialect (patois), the stories draw readers into their everyday lives as they engage in playful banter and contentious disputes with each other. Readers can expect a humorous interpretation of everyday Jamaican life among people from all walks of life. Inanimate objects (such as the GPS) and animals (such as Yaad Dog, Yaad Fowl, Sista Cow, Billy Goat), sustain their humorous interaction as they engage in the unique style of verbal expressions Jamaicans use to communicate their assertive personalities - not to mention their brazen, take-no-prisoners attitude Be prepared to laugh out loud.

"Five Little Zombies And Fred" is a not-for-children children's book about the perils of a zombie apocalypse, filled with zombies, a Mountie, and our hero, Fred. It spoofs the "Ten Little Monkeys Jumping On A Bed" nursery rhyme. Filled with geeky visual gags and Easter eggs, it is written and illustrated to speak to the child in every one. It tells the story of our hero Fred who finds himself in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. Will he survive with the help of his friend the Mountie? Warning: Mild zombie violence.

Fifty Shelves of Grey - The DIY guide to passion Christina is trying to use the jargon of home DIY to speak the language of love. Dave, totally oblivious, just thinks he's finally found someone as passionate about nailing, screwing and the importance of using the right lubricant when you're working away on someone's back door. Fifty Shades of Blokes is a series for us guys who just don't get all the fuss about this Fifty Shades malarkey. When handyman, Dave Woode, does some weekend work for young entrepreneur, Christina Grey, he encounters a woman who is beautiful, brilliant, and desperate to try out a 'bit of rough'. The unworldly, innocent Dave - like almost every man before him - has no idea what's going on, and believes Christina simply shares his passions for sports, DIY and gardening. The series follows the young couple as they embark on a passionate, double-entendre filled exploration of balls, power tools and spreading a bit of seed around. With every story written the way men would like it - incredibly short - the Fifty Shades of Blokes trilogy won't 'possess you' or 'obsess you', but it is quite obviously a parody that will leave you asking: How do men and women ever get together? How many men are really as simple as Dave? What does it say about our sex lives when 'the real books' sell a million copies a week? N.B. This series is intended for immature audiences.