Moving South? Feeling a little out of place? Craving pizza from home and faking a passion for sweet tea? Not generating much Southern hospitality? Wondering if you'll ever fit in?

Well, honey, here's your complete guide to living in Dixie, providing migrating Yanks with tips on living, eating, greeting, driving, walking, talking, and what food to bring to a funeral. From his 'n' her Southern Hair Dos (and Don'ts) to The A to Z Dixie Dictionary, Suddenly Southern includes everything you need to know about living south of the Mason-Dixon Line, including:

• Recipes that range from mint juleps and hoppin' john to recipes for disaster
• "Know Your Bugs by Their Mugs," a handy identification chart
• 10 ways to say, "Now that's ugly" in Dixie
• How to walk from the store to the car without dying, a Fun-in-the-Sun Survival Kit
• 100 Southern Things Worth the Trip

From Southern tailgate food (deviled eggs and cheese straws) to minding your BBQs, from pronouncing pecan to knowing when your cat's a true Southerner, from knowing when you're fittin' in to knowing when you're not, this is the ideal guide for anyone moving, planning a move, or just plain ol' interested in this fascinating American region. With this book on your shelf, they'll never be able to say "Yankee, go home" again.

Have you ever wondered: --How to perform an appendectomy? --How to rob a bank? --How to take a bullet? --How to deliver a baby in a manger? --How to summit Mt. Everest? --How to mend a broken heart?

The PERFECT GIFT for anyone who has ever broken up with someone or ever been broken up with, or is about to take a trip to Break-up City, population you. 'Ah well,' thinks Martin. 'At least she left me a packet of cigarettes and a little bicycle made out of pipe cleaners.' _____________ Rocco paid a fortune for the website getdianeback.com but it failed to get Diane back. So Rocco built a new Diane in his shed. The Diane runs on a 1kW motor, can run most Android apps, and will probably not run off with Rocco's brother. This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

THE PERFECT GIFT for all of the 'GROWN-UPS' still wondering what life is all about. Talking about the farmer's market: How much are these carrots? What, per kilogram? Each? Really? What does 'heritage' mean? Could I just have an onion, then, please? Oh. Do you take credit cards? _____________ Talking about running: Why am I running? Where am I going? Do I want a longer life if I have to spend so much of it running? Why aren't I at home? Am I running away from home? Am I scared of home? Why is my brain full of weird, horrible thoughts? Is it because running is so very, very boring? Why did I forget my headphones? This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

Political Correctness is here to stay... thank goodness! (Or, 'Heaven Help Us!!," for some... ) Hunting is also here to stay, and yes, it can be enjoyed in a humane and appropriate manner. The days of careless habits and willy-nilly antics in the field have come to a close.
M. J. Goodbush, the mysterious masked crusader for Political Correctness in the field has written a tongue-in-cheek primer for all who wish to correct the image foisted upon us by ill-motivated and unenlightened hunters.
This handy volume, can easily accompany one to the privy, where one can study such themes as 'Preparing For The Hunt', General Etiquette', Womyn in The Bush', 'True Stories' and much more.
The Politically Correct Hunter is a must for hunters of all nations, for the naturalist, the survivalist, and of course, the spouse of every sports person.

'Hilarious and thought-provoking, the Man Who Has It All highlights the ridiculousness of the patronising advice thrown at working mums every day by reimagining it with dads in mind.' The Unmumsy Mum While women are bombarded with advice about how to be the perfect mum, how to have a successful career and have glowing skin all at the same time, men have been left floundering. Thank God, then, for From Frazzled to Fabulous, which for the first time shows men how they, too, can have it all. As well as giving essential tips for career men and busy working dads, From Frazzled to Fabulous isn't afraid to address the big questions. Can curvy dads ever be truly happy? Can you be a dad and still feel sexy? This hilarious and eye-opening book, drawn from the hugely popular Twitter and Facebook accounts of the Man Who Has It All, offers men helpful advice about what your face shape says about your parenting skills, why staying hydrated will improve your career prospects and how dressing in your 'wow' colours will get you heard around the boardroom table. Seizing the stories we hear and throwing them back at us with a twist, the results are funny, unsettling and surprisingly revolutionary.

A spoof of the popular series of children's books.

Written by bestselling author Boris Starling, Marriage is one of the first titles in the brand new Haynes Explains series. A light-hearted and entertaining take on the classic workshop manual, it contains everything you'd expect to see including exploded views, flow charts, fault diagnosis and the odd wiring diagram. It takes the reader through all stages of married life, giving them the hints and tips needed to keep it running smoothly.

*The perfect stocking filler for the cat lover in your life!*

Please Stop Touching Me
Every time you do
I have to lick everywhere
It's so exhausting

From the author of What I Lick Before Your Face comes this hilarious companion, Please Stop Touching Me ... and Other Haikus by Cats.

Jamie Coleman returns with this brilliant collection of feline flights of fancy. His hilarious haikus take us inside the minds of our most popular pets revealing their inner-most secrets, their disdain for their owners and the poetry that is common to all cats.

Featuring over 50 haikus complete with glorious images, this is a hysterical gift for cat lovers, cat haters, and poetry enthusiasts alike.

Inspired by the wit and wisdom of the Right Honourable John Bercow MP, arguably the only MP to come out of Westminster's handling of Brexit with a shred of dignity, Be More Bercow will help you declare orr-derrr in your life. Every day we are faced with a multitude of polarized views: at home, at work and on social media. But how should we navigate these choppy and socially precarious waters? Who is going to put some order and structure to this crazy upside-down world we have found ourselves in? The answer is YOU! Comprising witty quotes from the man himself ('I don't want to crawl over the entrails of past disputes'), fun self-improving activities (sort elements of your life into the 'noes' and 'ayes' lobbies, unlock and declare a winner) and inspiring stories from the Speaker (in 1996 to enable himself to attend selection meetings for two safe Conservative seats almost simultaneously, he chartered a helicopter and duly won the nomination for Buckingham). Be More Bercow is the only companion you need for your journey through the Brexit process and beyond.

Beginning with the piece that made Mark Twain famous--"The Notorious Jumping Frog of Calaveras County"--and ending with his fanciful "How I Edited an Agricultural Paper," this treasure trove of an anthology, an abridgment of the 1888 original, collects twenty of Twain's own pieces, in addition to tall tales, fables, and satires by forty-three of Twain's contemporaries, including Washington Irving, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Ambrose Bierce, William Dean Howells, Joel Chandler Harris, Artemus Ward, and Bret Harte.

Bi-lingual dyslexia? Rug dates? Subtle flirting vs. advanced flirting? Boasting and gathering evidence? The application of USDA date-size-grading criteria to more personal assessments? All is explained in this review of how Monica improved her self-image, boosted her standing among her circle of friends, achieved fame, attracted a lucrative book deal, and generally set an example for others to study. Monica explained her flirtation techniques to Barbara Walters by saying that everyone understands the rules. But her rules came as a surprise to many people who had grown up burdened with a more traditional view of the world. In this fact-based self-help satire, Monica explains those rules and how to follow in her footsteps, with her ten stages of dating and with her proven advice for how women should handle themselves (and others) at each stage.

Bill Geist's hilarious book describes his personal struggle with the awful aging process and with the monumental milestone called the Big Five-Oh. From the trauma of receiving an application to join the AARP to the realization that he can't really see the menu, hear the waiter, or remember the specials, Geist catalogs the discontents, large and small, of those approaching and passing fifty. He lies about his age, shops for a Harley, buys an Ab-Roller, receives liposuction counseling, finds himself the oldest guy at a rock concert, catches himself paying attention to a Depends commercial, buys "relaxed fit" jeans, falls asleep at a party, wakes up from a nightmare about college tuition, and damn near buys a Cadillac!

"The Tabloid Bible" is a fresh and funny take on biblical literacy. Humorist Nick Page, who happens to take the Bible very seriously, captures perfectly the deadpan style of popular, sensational tabloids found in supermarket checkout lanes everywhere in his retelling of major biblical events from Genesis to Revelation.

At the opening of the international bestseller "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies", Elizabeth Bennet is already a seasoned warrior-trained in the martial arts, skeptical of romance, and determined to wipe out the deadly dreadfuls. But how did Elizabeth get that way? And where did all of the zombies come from? Readers will witness the birth of a heroine in Dawn of the Dreadfuls - a thrilling prequel set three years before the horrific events of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". This comic-horror novel is an all-new work of fiction from acclaimed novelist, Steve Hockensmith. As our story opens, the Bennet sisters are enjoying a peaceful life in the English countryside. They idle away the days reading, gardening, practicing instruments, and daydreaming about future husbands-until a funeral at the local parish goes strangely and horribly awry. Suddenly corpses are springing from the soft earth-and only one family can stop them. As the bodies pile up, we watch Elizabeth Bennet evolve from a naive young teenager into a savage slayer of the undead. We laugh as she begins her first clumsy training with nunchucks and katana swords, and cry when her first blush with romance goes tragically awry. Through it all, of course, readers will be treated to scene after scene of absurd zombie carnage. Complete with 15 dazzling illustrations, "Dawn of the Dreadfuls" invites readers to step back into Regency England-Land of the Undead.

This long awaited volume finally brings to light several cases of the world's most renowned detective originally suppressed to avoid causing scandal and embarrassment to the Crown, to public figures, or to Sherlock Holmes himself. Now, finally, the truth is revealed about Holmes' exploits involving such figures as Ida Tarbell, Consuelo Vanderbilt, P.G. Wodehouse, and James McNeil Whistler. Related by diverse hands, including Watson, Inspector Lestrade, and Holmes himself, detailing untold incidents involving the Titanic, Holmes' rematch with Irene Adler, the childhoods of both Holmes and Watson, and one unfortunate result of Holmes' facility with disguise, this cornucopia of Sherlockiana will delight fans young and not-so-young.

Erma Bombeck has learned a few things about children and family over the years--and in a way that is uniquely and wonderfully her own, she shares everything she knows with her readers. Whether it's cleaning up after the kids and him, or expendable mothers-in-law, Erma Bombeck gets to the heart of the matter and makes us laugh through our tears.

The ultimate meditation book, not to be grandiose...
Take a hilarious, healing journey with Stuart Smalley as he careens down the road to Recovery. For one entire year Stuart recorded an affirmation a day...except when he had taken to his bed (but that's Okay)...and the result is the most entertaining and indispensable meditation book ever.
From program wisdom (Denial Ain't Just a River in Egypt! December 1) to survival tips (When I Go Home to Visit My Family I Will Stay in a Motel! September 26) to some good sound practical advice (I am entitled to file for an Extension on my Income Taxes! April 15th), Stuart's affirmations will empower you!
Work, Friendship, Love, Spirituality, Codependency, Self-Esteem, Acceptance...Stuart deals with it all. And as you share his ups and downs, his triumphs and shame spirals, you will come to see the ultimate truth of Stuart's March 21st affirmation: Today I Will Laugh--At Least Once!

"This does indeed deserve comparisons with Blackadder" Radio Times "A knockabout, well-researched take on the working and domestic life of Shakespeare." The Guardian It's the 1590s. William Shakespeare - brought to life on screen by the inimitable David Mitchell - is at the start of his career. But no one is taking him seriously. In London, he is mercilessly mocked by his rivals and at home in Stratford he is belittled by his sullen teenage daughter. Yet he is determined to find an ending for his newest creation Romeo and Juliet. Luckily, inspiration is forthcoming. The trials and tribulations of his closest friends and family reveal the plot twists he'd been missing. And not only for this famous tragedy but for many of his finest plays. With sparkling wordplay, hilarious gags and his trademark wit, Ben Elton celebrates the great William Shakespeare and reveals the startling stories behind the playwright's best-known plays.

THE PERFECT GIFT for the Do-Gooder in your life. (Don't you just hate them?) _________________________________________________ The do-gooder does all sorts of crazy things. It can be something as easy as running a marathon, or as difficult as dressing up. To make this eccentric behaviour seem less like a cry for help or the beginnings of a substantial personal crisis, the do-gooder does it for charity. _________________________________________________ Vernon has a job as a street fundraiser for the R.N.L.I. He wears a high-visibility jacket, a high visibility and high visibility trousers. Everybody on the street still pretends they cannot see him. _________________________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

pistache (pis-tash): a friendly spoof or parody of another's work. [Deriv uncertain. Possibly a cross between pastiche and p**stake.] From Thomas Hardy's football report to Dan Brown's visit to the cash dispenser, the work of the great and the not-so-great is here sent up with little hope of coming down. Most of these pieces began their life on Radio Four's The Write Stuff, but have been retooled for the printed page. Others, such as Martin Amis's first day at Hogwarts, have been written specially for this collection. Philip Larkin's Lines in Celebration of the Queen Mother's 115th Birthday, first banned, then cut by the BBC, appears in its entirety for the first time. This is not a book for the faint-hearted or the downstairs lavatory. It is a book for the bedside table of someone you cannot live without.

The PERFECT GIFT for the terminally cool. _________________________________________________ This is a hipster. He is childless, unaccountably wealthy, and always well turned out. He likes art, porridge,s carves, and anything reclaimed from French factories . . . _________________________________________________ Hipsters like to collect old things that are unfashionable, because that makes them fashionable. Vintage washing-up bowls are highly prized, because they look neither retro nor valuable, and therefore both. _________________________________________________ This delightful book is part of a Ladybird series specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Also available: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster