My Grateful Write takes a ridiculous look at life today and gives you a reason to get out of bed each morning. Reading this will change your life in monumental ways, and enlighten you to the point of nausea. From food to taxes, to living with your family, to syphilis, My Grateful Write gives you much to be thankful for, and hopes it is shared with the world in a joyful way, all except the syphilis

Ask anyone who knows him: Paddy Pest is a real character.

Paddy is an Australian crime fighter with a dubious Irish background, an overwhelming abundance of confidence, and a handful of bad habits. His enthusiasm for finding trouble is only exceeded by his incompetence.

Fortunately, his pal and sometime sidekick, Stormy Weathers, is usually available to rescue him from his ill-advised forays into foolish and reckless situations-frequently involving the fairer sex. From Yvette Baguette, the delightfully French gendarme, to Paddy's nemesis, Nadia Nickoff-the minx from Minsk-Paddy is a lady's man all the way.

Murder and mayhem are all in a day's work for this Aussie crime fighter. He needs his wits to survive the onslaught of the disreputable rogues and villains who are out to get him. Paddy's life is one big, unbelievable adventure after another. And now, he's got a certain lady on a certain train who needs his help-or does she?

The world needs someone like Paddy Pest-and if you doubt that, just ask him

Title: The song of Milkanwatha.Author: Marc Antony HendersonPublisher: Gale, Sabin Americana Description: Based on Joseph Sabin's famed bibliography, Bibliotheca Americana, Sabin Americana, 1500--1926 contains a collection of books, pamphlets, serials and other works about the Americas, from the time of their discovery to the early 1900s. Sabin Americana is rich in original accounts of discovery and exploration, pioneering and westward expansion, the U.S. Civil War and other military actions, Native Americans, slavery and abolition, religious history and more.Sabin Americana offers an up-close perspective on life in the western hemisphere, encompassing the arrival of the Europeans on the shores of North America in the late 15th century to the first decades of the 20th century. Covering a span of over 400 years in North, Central and South America as well as the Caribbean, this collection highlights the society, politics, religious beliefs, culture, contemporary opinions and momentous events of the time. It provides access to documents from an assortment of genres, sermons, political tracts, newspapers, books, pamphlets, maps, legislation, literature and more.Now for the first time, these high-quality digital scans of original works are available via print-on-demand, making them readily accessible to libraries, students, independent scholars, and readers of all ages.++++The below data was compiled from various identification fields in the bibliographic record of this title. This data is provided as an additional tool in helping to insure edition identification: ++++SourceLibrary: Huntington LibraryDocumentID: SABCP01500600CollectionID: CTRG95-B226PublicationDate: 18560101SourceBibCitation: Selected Americana from Sabin's Dictionary of books relating to AmericaNotes: Parodies on Longfellow (The song of Hiawatha), Tennyson (The lotus eaters, The brook) ... et al.] Appeared originally in 1856 under title: The song of Milgenwater, published by Jones, Brown & Robinson, Cincinnati, Ohio.Collation: 144 p.; 19 cm

As the trial of terrorist mastermind Abdullah "Johnny Three Fingers" Bin-Al Raheem and his troop of would-be Holy Warriors draws near, someone is trying to kill the Prosecution's key witnesses - with an emphasis on the word 'trying'. But as the FBI races against time to stop this assassin, a patriotic militia group has its own plan to utilize the trial to make a point. From the tropical beaches of the Virgin Islands, to the majestic plains of North Dakota, to the bustling streets of New York City and all points in between, chaos and mayhem reign in The Patriot Plan; fed by the collective misadventures of transplanted Somali militants, Swedish male model mercenaries, misguided conspiracy theorists, ornery iguanas, and even two playful saber-tooth tigers.

Reflecting the workings of a truly bent mind, this collection of totally irreverent short pieces will have you laughing no matter how bad a day it's been. A verbal comic book twisting familiar fables, folk tales, and legends into dark, frequently ribald but always hilarious humour. Joe Roland, a displaced Brit, has produced an outrageous assortment of stories many of which evoke the customs, historical events, myths and archaic settings of Ye Olde Country.

"In Forever Azathoth Peter Cannon captures Lovecraft's style deliciously, takes affectionate digs at such horror eminences as critic S. T. Joshi and writer T.E.D. Klein, and even-has the man no shame?-subjects a number of mainstream classics to a hideous cross-pollination."-Michael Dirda "The stories in Forever Azathoth all qualify as Lovecraftian metafiction, ranging from parody to pastiche to homage. Cannon adds spice to this stew by calling in elements from authors as disparate as William Faulkner and James Herriot. The most surprising and surprisingly successful combination is Cannon's importation of P.G. Wodehouse's air-headed Bertie Wooster and Bertie's "gentleman's gentleman," the unflappable Reginald Jeeves, into the world of Lovecraftian weirdness." -Richard Lupoff H. P. Lovecraft once wrote: "As a rule, I don't think that a comic or flippant style-or one with much satire-mixes well with the weird." Peter Cannon has devoted most of his writing career to breaking this rule, usually at the expense of Lovecraft himself. This volume collects the finest and funniest of Cannon's parodies and pastiches, starting with the title story, a six-part sequel to Lovecraft's "The Thing on the Doorstep." Various Edward Derby heirs and scholars contend for control of the poet-prodigy's literary legacy, too absorbed in their own affairs to take much heed of the supernatural mischief made possible by mind transfer. Before there was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, there were the three "Wodecraft" tales, in which P. G. Wodehouse's characters show considerable savoir faire in the face of cosmic dread. Cannon also mashes up Lovecraft with two classic American writers, F. Scott Fitzgerald ("Tender Is the Night-Gaunt") and William Faulkner ("The Sound and the Fungi"). Two selections pay homage to living horror greats Ramsey Campbell ("The Undercliffe Sentences") and T.E.D. Klein ("The Arkham Collector"). "The Madness out of Space" chronicles the efforts of a scholarly New England gentleman to connect with the cosmic. This quality Hippocampus Press edition contains all the stories in the limited, signed Subterranean Press edition together with the novelette "The Madness out of Space." Handsome interior illustrations by noted Lovecraftian artist Jason C. Eckhardt, some newly commissioned for this paperback edition, form an added bonus. Peter Cannon is the author of Pulptime (1984), a Sherlock Holmes pastiche in which H. P. Lovecraft plays Dr. Watson to the great detective; Scream for Jeeves: A Parody (1994), a blend of Wodehousian humor and Lovecraftian horror with a dash of Conan Doyle; and The Lovecraft Chronicles (2004), a novel that imagines a happier and longer life for Lovecraft. He lives with his wife and three children in New York City.

Caroline Lewis is a pen-name, that of the team of Edward Harold Begbie, J. Stafford Ransome, and M. H. Temple, who wrote both "Clara in Wonderland" and a sequel, "Lost in Wonderland." These two novels deal with British frustration and anger about the Boer War and with Britain's political leadership at the beginning of the twentieth century. -- But this book is not a stuffy study in early twentieth-century British politics -- it is a splendid parody, amusing as much for what it parodies as for its reflection of Lewis Carroll's originals, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking-Glass." Now, in 2010, more than a century from the book's first publication, "Clara in Blunderland" has to stand on its own in a way that it didn't in 1902. But it spans the century surprisingly well... Politics and politicians haven't changed much -- it seems -- in a century. That may be regrettable -- but at least Caroline Lewis can still make us laugh about it

An author's mind is a terrible thing to waste as it bubbles with stuff that we are all capable of conjuring, but most are spared the amusement. During the last decade, this author has had a number of mind rushes come over the spillway and, in a fit of intellectual ineptitude, has decided to let it loose upon the unsuspecting public; thus, this collection of four entertainments designed to both edify and crack you up. From the author of No Irish Need Apply, The Jade Owl and Are You Still Submitting Your Work to a Traditional Publisher? comes - A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon And Other Ravings from the Blogosphere: to wit - - Extempore Thoughts for the Day - Ask Miss Chatty - New Leaves in the Wind: 5 Essays from a Recovering Webaholic A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon: a non-definitive guide to AuthorSpeak - an entertainment for readers to help them absorb the details of an author's craft. It's writing for readers, not writers. To wit - "A Pot-boiler: A formulaic book written for a surefire audience with the promise of a steady revenue stream. This does not mean that a potboiler is poorly written. It just means that their author depends on the income, knows where the paycheck is and writes it to reader's taste, in most cases severing the creative bond between art and commerce. The name derives from the poor starving artist who needs to pay the gas bill to keep the pot boiling. The expression usually applies to books, but the label can be applied to any art form that is driven by popular demand instead of creative integrity. It is possible to align the two. Usually, works of this nature are not enduring, because popular tastes change leaving whales beached." Extempore Thoughts for the Day: daily aphorisms, both deep and ethereal, affording the author a platform to spew out fortune cookie wisdom at the drop of the hat. Meant to make you ponder. Meant to make you laugh. To wit: "Books, like chapels or cathedrals, open their doors for reader meditation. Of course, authors still must pass the collection plate." "Variety is the breakfast of life. You waffle today; you pancake tomorrow." "The Roman Senate opposed dictators, but Caesar had his Gaul." "They say the world has seven wonders. I agree. They're called the days of the week." and 263 more Ask Miss Chatty: a unique advice column from the drag queen hostess of The Painted Lips Lounge. Need I say more? A laugh riot. New Leaves in the Wind: Five Essays from a Recovering Webaholic: a view of Corporate America and its romance with the World Wide Web, and how gazillions of $$$ have been wasted in the process. An insider's view. News at eleven To wit: "Mild mannered during the day, Business Dick works at implementing serious solutions in a database realm. He sits through hours of meetings, wanders through mountains of requirements and watches thousands of buckos spill over the black rim into the red. Alas, says Business Dick, there must be a better way to make the deadlines. Let me go to my local bookstore and buy a Book for Dummies. Soon, Business Dick transforms himself into Dick the Web Rogue." So, if you need to fire up those synapses for the brain and the Kindle, come jog in the jargon with me. Regret is not a four-letter word.

Magic mushrooms can affect.Religion was left to self discovery. With adolescent years spent racing bikes and cheating death the author met many strange circumstances. He tried illicit substances leading to his breakdown on his 33rd birthday. He was diagnosed as Bi-polar (Manic-Depressive) and wants to take you down the road of his manic delusions, in verse. A parody you will never forget! A parody that might make you think about taking another hit. Take the journey lf discovery with a more tangable view of the world, leading to the finding a far more Greater being truly exists. It will grip by the page and will keep you mesmerized to the very last. Don't read if you are wise!A fictional truth.

If you believe that Scrooge was visited by only four ghosts then you have an enchanting surprise in store for you. Imagine NOT December 26th, but December 27th How did Scrooge put into effect his new found resolutions, and what happened when he did? Scrooge and the Fifth Ghost is an entirely new, ingenious and hilarious work that answers these questions... and a whole bunch more you have never even imagined.

This satirical spin on the ancient, much-beloved nursery rhymes of our youth gives familiar characters such as Little Jack Horner and Little Bo Peep a chance to "make it" in our 21st century. Unfortunately, it's not easy to time travel in leaps and bounds, so you'll enjoy the hilarious and unexpected glitches our Mother Goose friends encounter along the way. Intended for more adult audiences, this collection of free-verse poems delights and surprises with literary references, witty double meaning, and clever irony.

This cleverly titled BLANK BOOK is a perfect gift for tickling funny bones of believers and skeptics alike The 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" trade paperback features 90 pages of quality white paper completely uncontaminated by printing (Save for headers and footers.) It's perfect for doodling, making notes, folding origami, or ranting about the other side. In emergencies, it also doubles as toilet paper. (Softness and efficacy not guaranteed for this use ) As an added bonus, if you buy today, you will receive an extra 7 pages of blank white paper bound in with the rest Ninety-seven blank pages in all (Along with three pages of pesky titles and legal information, for a not-so-grand total of 100 pages.) The book comes complete with a glossy, full-color cover suitable for framing. The back cover features sarcastic copy sure to drive home the paperback's satirical intent. Be sure to look for other BLANK BOOKS in the From the Secret Files... ser

Roa Wioz (1882-1937), the locally-admired though otherwise little-known Zumorgian translator, spent seventeen years of his miserable life (when he wasn't tending to his beloved goats) translating Lewis Carroll's classic "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" into Zumorigenflit and transposing it into u ian culture. Sadly, u was swallowed up by the Soviet Union in 1947. Most of its citizens were either purged (lined up and summarily shot when they refused to combine their goats into a communal herd) or transported to the Gulag for political re-education and attitude adjustment. All cultural artifacts were systematically destroyed and most Zumorigenflit books were burned as part of the Soviet effort to obliterate u, along with any memory of it. The only known present-day u ian survivors of The Great u Purge (other than any possible survivors of the Gulag, whose descendants might conceivably live in Siberia) are now toothless old women, whose parents fled with them as infants from u to Transjordan the night of the purge. Today they live (if you can call it that) in a squalid refugee camp on the desert outskirts of Amman surrounded by very unhappy and angry displaced Palestinians. Some of these u ian refugees are still able to speak a little Zumorigenflit, though few of them can read it. For those interested in such esoteric things, "Alo k ujy Gigio Soagenli y" was first published by the Itadabukan Press in the capital city of Sprutni ovyurt in 1919. The city, which was mistakenly thought to be a German forward supply area, was literally flattened and burned to the ground by Royal Air Force saturation bombing in 1943, and all that remains of it are a few remnants of the ancient Palace's foundations and a gigantic reinforced concrete statue of Joseph Stalin, whose face has been shattered by what was probably machine gun target practice. The original story has here been updated to modern times, as if this strange, harsh, and dangerous land still existed in the modern world. It doesn't, except in my imagination and that of Mahendra Singh, whose heart swells with the Song of the Goat. -- Byron W. Sewell

Half-Baked History is a 20,000-word collection of 37 historical events, spanning both time period and geographical location. Boring? No. Half-Baked History is a satire of some of history's most notable and notorious events. Posing as the esteemed Professor Chip Bagnall, the supposed scholar takes historical facts and bluntly labels them as myth. Dr. Bagnall has one sole motive: to rectify the purported "facts" that have cursed the pages of our children's history textbooks. Reeducate yourself so the next time you try to impress your boss, a love interest, or even Professor Bagnall with a fun fact from the history annals, you don't seem like an idiot. There is something Professor Bagnall refers to as the "Colbert Complex." Most people who watch The Colbert Report do recognize the fact that the show is satire, but there are those few who don't quite catch on, believing Stephen Colbert's character to be the actual Stephen Colbert. The same can be said for Half-Baked History. Some of the facts, both in the "myth" and "fact" sections, are true - but most is bulls**t. It is satire. This disclaimer is for those very few who might not quite understand, so please, no offense to the majority. History doesn't have to be boring anymore. Did John Adams do stand-up comedy every Saturday at open mic night? Yes, but he often bombed when throwing out the overused "How many Anti-Federalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" joke. Learn more of the ridiculous from our shared written history by reading Half-Baked History.

"Arguably the funniest novel to emerge from Northern Europe since the Black Death"

A reindeer strangler has struck again; the world's leading authority on Baltic sturgeon has been filleted, and the head of Sweden's only unpublished thriller writer has been discovered some meters from his body.

Just a typical day in Stockholm's crime log? Or are the murders the works of a single killer? Chief Inspector Svenjamin Bubbles has a suspect: Lizzy Salamander, Scandinavia's most heavily tattooed girl-sociopath and hacker extraordinaire.

Mikael Blomberg believes Salamander has been framed. But if Salamander is innocent, who is the 4'10" girl ninja captured on a surveillance camera decapitating the failed novelist? And what has become of the unpublished manuscript that claimed to connect Sweden's most eco-friendly corporations to the twentieth century's greatest tyrant?

A shocking story of corruption and perversion that reaches to the highest echelons of the world's largest producer of inexpensive ready-to-assemble wooden bookcases, "The Girl with the Sturgeon Tattoo" delivers a hilarious--and gripping--parody of the best-selling novels by Stieg Larsson.

Yodel lay hee hoo, Cthulhu Fhartagn Dare to face the chilling horror from the depths in these ludicrous tales of horror and the supernatural Cthulhu's back, and he's gotta dance Can you keep your sanity as you hear... The Yodel of Cthulhu?

In Selling Out, author Joey Green has taken the voices of famous writers past and present - from Nathaniel Hawthorne to e. e. cummings, Jane Austen to Erica Jong - and fashioned their words into the ad campaigns they might have written if their prose pushed brand-name products. Sure to raise a chuckle from anyone who ever watched television commercials, as well as from those slightly familiar with classic literature, Selling Out is a hysterical look at what our most famous authors might have written if they'd sold their souls to advertising. For this revised and expanded second edition, Green added another fifteen parodies, bringing the total to fifty unforgettable ad campaigns, including William Blake's "Tony Tiger," Franz Kafka's "Raid Kills Bugs Dead," John Updike's "Rabbit Keeps Going and Going," and George Orwell's "The Un-Cola."

Were there not some amid all that fashionable throng in whom ideals of purity and true womanhood lived-- some who cared enough for the sacredness of real love to cry upon this hollow mockery that was being used to ensnare the simple, honest soldier? There was only one, and she was at that moment entering the drawing room for the purpose of being presented to the general. Need I name her.

As indicated by the title, this sequel to "NUNS ON A CHAIN GANG ," is a listing of over 300 wacko/humorous(sometimes irreverent) "stuff" that you NEVER- EVER see -- for example: BUTTERFLIES WITH BAD BREATH All entries are the author's original and creative concepts. Illustrations are purposely not included, as the author encourages the reader to imagine/ visualize each entry through their own mind's eye, thus making this an interactive, witty, tongue-in-cheek experience.

The world around you is a dangerous place. It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?
You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers--anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.

You'll never look at your pets the same way again PETS ON THE MENU is an outrageous spoof cookbook - a comic culinary adventure in the "forbidden cuisine"