Ask anyone who knows him: Paddy Pest is a real character.

Paddy is an Australian crime fighter with a dubious Irish background, an overwhelming abundance of confidence, and a handful of bad habits. His enthusiasm for finding trouble is only exceeded by his incompetence.

Fortunately, his pal and sometime sidekick, Stormy Weathers, is usually available to rescue him from his ill-advised forays into foolish and reckless situations-frequently involving the fairer sex. From Yvette Baguette, the delightfully French gendarme, to Paddy's nemesis, Nadia Nickoff-the minx from Minsk-Paddy is a lady's man all the way.

Murder and mayhem are all in a day's work for this Aussie crime fighter. He needs his wits to survive the onslaught of the disreputable rogues and villains who are out to get him. Paddy's life is one big, unbelievable adventure after another. And now, he's got a certain lady on a certain train who needs his help-or does she?

The world needs someone like Paddy Pest-and if you doubt that, just ask him

The greatest moments in sporting history in inglorious technicolour, from the 'artists' known as NO SCORE DRAWS 'Genuinely upsetting.' David Squires 'Repulsively ugly.' Seamas O'Reilly An Unofficial World Cup Hall of Infamy, featuring the worst fouls, best goals, most questionable refereeing decisions, dodgiest barnets, mintest kits and a host of 'Where were you when?' moments. This is the first (and, let's face it, probably only) book from the multi-untalented team behind moderately successful Twitter account @CheapPanini, bringing mild bemusement to the world through the medium of wonky hand-drawn stickers. You can't fault them for effort, even if they still can't do hands, so dive into these pages like Roy Keane into a tackle.

Rebel without a cause, werewolf without claws, Grey travels across all regions of Oz (Australia) in a comedy-fantasy parody of the Wizard of Oz. It is not witches that hunt the protagonist for a ruby slipper, but monotheists desperate to get their hands on an emerald cork hat. There's no scarecrow, tin man and cowardly lion searching for brain, heart and courage; instead, we have Elle McPherson, Angry Anderson and Bon Scott inspired characters needing a body, mind and spirit confidence boost. Will Grey and the intrepid travellers elude their pursuers and reach their destination? This book provides amazing action and surreal comedy in poetry and prose before reaching a cohesive and thrilling ending.

STARVE CURSE HATE (Cynthia St Clair's Search for What-ever ) is a spoof of EAT PRAY LOVE. In this oddly inspirational book the main character Cynthia, a rich beautiful divorcee who is looking for inner peace, love and happiness, decides to follow in author Elizabeth Gilbert's footsteps and travel to Italy, India and Indonesia. While on her journey, when one thing after another goes wrong, wrong, wrong, Cynthia begins to ask, "Whoa God, how come you answered all of Elizabeth's prayers but you haven't answered any of mine?" Then suddenly she realizes: perhaps HE has

Melody Litton has taken a break from her traditional self-help books to pair up with Zombie expert, Travis Thornton, in producing this essential guide to understanding and planning for the not so distant future. The Zombie Apocalypse is coming. It's time to prepare. While the rest of the world lives in fear and strives to protect themselves from what they see as an impending doom, those who read this guide will be ready to rise above that fear. They will be ready to create a future worth living: A future which embraces life as a zombie.

In this retelling of Lewis Carroll's classic tale, Alice's fall down the rabbit hole turns into a terrifying descent through the centre of the Earth, hopelessly snarling her hair into a tangles mess, and nearly setting it alight.

Magic mushrooms can affect.Religion was left to self discovery. With adolescent years spent racing bikes and cheating death the author met many strange circumstances. He tried illicit substances leading to his breakdown on his 33rd birthday. He was diagnosed as Bi-polar (Manic-Depressive) and wants to take you down the road of his manic delusions, in verse. A parody you will never forget! A parody that might make you think about taking another hit. Take the journey lf discovery with a more tangable view of the world, leading to the finding a far more Greater being truly exists. It will grip by the page and will keep you mesmerized to the very last. Don't read if you are wise!A fictional truth.

"Bobbits were generally not large but Filbo Daggins was larger and stranger than most and people in the Shire often said so.
"I say, that Filbo is large," said one.
"Yes, that Filbo is larger and stranger than most," said another.
That evening Filbo would be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday. On their birthday, it was customary among the Bobbits to give gifts to other people. There was much grumbling in the Shire that Filbo usually gave presents such as gift certificates to stores nobody could find. . . . "
In "The Lord of the Ring Dings," Sam and Dodo must overcome the evil Lord Sorehead, the nasty Sorry-Man, and a host of product placements to reach Door-Door and destroy the Ring Ding of Power. It's like "The Lord of the Rings" movies except the budget is much lower. Oregon courts Liv Tyler and Gimpley the dwarf woos the ladies of Middling-earth (both of them). The Elvis lend a hand, providing the travelers with the traditional Elvis food of meatloaf and fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Gandolf is around as well, but his spells generally don't work well and he forgets things a lot. And, of course, there's Jollum, the weird creature who will stop at nothing to get his hands on the precious Ring Ding.

ADVANCE PRAISE for "The Lord of the Ring Dings"
"This book really nails it. It tells what really happened." - "Aragorn, King of Gondor"
"I thought my part could have been bigger." - "Arwen, Queen of Gondor"
"Although I am a wizard I never would have predicted such a fine book. Wait, that sounds cheesy. No, don't write that down." - "Gandalf, a wizard"
"I thought the portrayal of my great, great grand uncle was unfair. For example, he didn't like fish that much." - "Johann Smeagol III, Gollum's great, great grand nephew"
"I really wish there were more women in the story, or anywhere." - "Gimli, son of Gloin"
"I think I was much cooler in the movie, but in the book I was still pretty cool." - "Legolas"
"We no portrayed fair. Me no like." - "Gorkran, an Orc"

This satirical spin on the ancient, much-beloved nursery rhymes of our youth gives familiar characters such as Little Jack Horner and Little Bo Peep a chance to "make it" in our 21st century. Unfortunately, it's not easy to time travel in leaps and bounds, so you'll enjoy the hilarious and unexpected glitches our Mother Goose friends encounter along the way. Intended for more adult audiences, this collection of free-verse poems delights and surprises with literary references, witty double meaning, and clever irony.

Roa Wioz (1882-1937), the locally-admired though otherwise little-known Zumorgian translator, spent seventeen years of his miserable life (when he wasn't tending to his beloved goats) translating Lewis Carroll's classic "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" into Zumorigenflit and transposing it into u ian culture. Sadly, u was swallowed up by the Soviet Union in 1947. Most of its citizens were either purged (lined up and summarily shot when they refused to combine their goats into a communal herd) or transported to the Gulag for political re-education and attitude adjustment. All cultural artifacts were systematically destroyed and most Zumorigenflit books were burned as part of the Soviet effort to obliterate u, along with any memory of it. The only known present-day u ian survivors of The Great u Purge (other than any possible survivors of the Gulag, whose descendants might conceivably live in Siberia) are now toothless old women, whose parents fled with them as infants from u to Transjordan the night of the purge. Today they live (if you can call it that) in a squalid refugee camp on the desert outskirts of Amman surrounded by very unhappy and angry displaced Palestinians. Some of these u ian refugees are still able to speak a little Zumorigenflit, though few of them can read it. For those interested in such esoteric things, "Alo k ujy Gigio Soagenli y" was first published by the Itadabukan Press in the capital city of Sprutni ovyurt in 1919. The city, which was mistakenly thought to be a German forward supply area, was literally flattened and burned to the ground by Royal Air Force saturation bombing in 1943, and all that remains of it are a few remnants of the ancient Palace's foundations and a gigantic reinforced concrete statue of Joseph Stalin, whose face has been shattered by what was probably machine gun target practice. The original story has here been updated to modern times, as if this strange, harsh, and dangerous land still existed in the modern world. It doesn't, except in my imagination and that of Mahendra Singh, whose heart swells with the Song of the Goat. -- Byron W. Sewell

This cleverly titled BLANK BOOK is a perfect gift for tickling funny bones of believers and skeptics alike The 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" trade paperback features 90 pages of quality white paper completely uncontaminated by printing (Save for headers and footers.) It's perfect for doodling, making notes, folding origami, or ranting about the other side. In emergencies, it also doubles as toilet paper. (Softness and efficacy not guaranteed for this use ) As an added bonus, if you buy today, you will receive an extra 7 pages of blank white paper bound in with the rest Ninety-seven blank pages in all (Along with three pages of pesky titles and legal information, for a not-so-grand total of 100 pages.) The book comes complete with a glossy, full-color cover suitable for framing. The back cover features sarcastic copy sure to drive home the paperback's satirical intent. Be sure to look for other BLANK BOOKS in the From the Secret Files... ser

Hans and Gertrud lived in their beautiful castle in the Bavarian mountains. They had freedom, servants and, best of all, animals. Then evil men came to power and they were forced to flee to England leaving all they had behind them. There they were kidnapped and taken to the strange neighbouring kingdom of Eng-a-land. The people couldn't speak properly, weighed with heavy weights and stones and even opened their windows the wrong way. They managed to escape and were taken in by a strange old women in black. Things looked like they were going badly until an unexpected person came to save them all. Fun, excitement, sadness, happiness for all children aged 7-11 and only very intelligent adults.

Take one part bloodsucker, one part magician, one part ruthless huntress, and throw in a little bondage. What do you get? An all-out battle where arrows fly, teeth gnash, and magic spells clash. Who will survive? Find out in "50 Shades of the Twilight Games," the new graphic novel parody from Bluewater Productions.

Half-Baked History is a 20,000-word collection of 37 historical events, spanning both time period and geographical location. Boring? No. Half-Baked History is a satire of some of history's most notable and notorious events. Posing as the esteemed Professor Chip Bagnall, the supposed scholar takes historical facts and bluntly labels them as myth. Dr. Bagnall has one sole motive: to rectify the purported "facts" that have cursed the pages of our children's history textbooks. Reeducate yourself so the next time you try to impress your boss, a love interest, or even Professor Bagnall with a fun fact from the history annals, you don't seem like an idiot. There is something Professor Bagnall refers to as the "Colbert Complex." Most people who watch The Colbert Report do recognize the fact that the show is satire, but there are those few who don't quite catch on, believing Stephen Colbert's character to be the actual Stephen Colbert. The same can be said for Half-Baked History. Some of the facts, both in the "myth" and "fact" sections, are true - but most is bulls**t. It is satire. This disclaimer is for those very few who might not quite understand, so please, no offense to the majority. History doesn't have to be boring anymore. Did John Adams do stand-up comedy every Saturday at open mic night? Yes, but he often bombed when throwing out the overused "How many Anti-Federalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" joke. Learn more of the ridiculous from our shared written history by reading Half-Baked History.

What is the universal bathroom sex distress signal? How can you assess the intentions of a cougar that wants to hold your baby? What is the procedure for immolating pesky methamphetamine users? What exactly is Mrs. Right-A-Way's Tincture of Opium Cure-All, and what is it good for? Nowhere else on Earth, dear reader, are you as sure to find practical (mis)information mixed with sensual delights in such prodigious quantities. With advice on everything from snowboarding and cabin safety to the appropriate apprehension of fishes, Dr. Browntrout will taint-er, educate-the reader through the use of fake advertisements, poetry, haiku, essay, panda drawings and anti-affirmations. Dr. Browntrout will amaze and amuse with his sesquipedalian vocabulary and gutter sensibilities, and years of experience in the field of moral improvement. If you fail to laugh after reading this tome, then you are not alive.

My Grateful Write takes a ridiculous look at life today and gives you a reason to get out of bed each morning. Reading this will change your life in monumental ways, and enlighten you to the point of nausea. From food to taxes, to living with your family, to syphilis, My Grateful Write gives you much to be thankful for, and hopes it is shared with the world in a joyful way, all except the syphilis

Between 1921 and 1999, Twentieth Century Spatchcock made over 20,000 films in their Hollinwood, Oldham studios. Most have been lost or destroyed - sometimes accidentally.

Painstaking research by Dr Derek J Ripley has pieced together the synopses and cast details of dozens of films discovered on market stalls, in attics and in skips all over the country, forcing us to re-appraise the contribution of Alfred Spatchcock and DW Blunt to Britain's cinema heritage.

"At last - the definitive appreciation of Spatchcock Anyone who has managed to get through "From Here To Maternity" or "Wendy Does Wigan" will want - and need - this book" Andy Kershaw

"If you only read one book about Spatchcock, make sure it's this one" Norman Barrie

"Spatchcock is up there with with Fellaini, Bertolli and Francis Ford Mondeo" Jonathan Rossendale

With an Introduction by Dr CP Lee.

Dr J Ripley's new book turns the spotlight on a film studio that has been long forgotten - some might say for good reason.

With detailed synopses and cast details for more than 60 Spatchcock films from Mr Lilo's Holiday to Paint Your Drag On and over 160 lavish black and white illustrations, this is a must for anyone with an interest in film.

Barbie: A Parody is mainly for adult women who have had a bad break up and can now look back and laugh. This coffee table book has a humorous tone while spoofing nursery rhymes, songs, and lots of today's pop culture. It is a short but sweet comedic take down of the Barbie doll., an iconic image was done in order to highlight the contradictions and/or hypocrisies of relationship issues. Barbie: A Parody captures the hysteria of break ups and divorce with the appropriate amount humor and hints of truth. In contemporary society parodies surround us from every angle. The writer and illustrator, Fiona Finn realizes that over 1 billion women played with Barbie but never role played relationship termination. This book is rated "M" for mature but brings honesty, humor and reality to painful but very real life heart aches.

The critically acclaimed author of MANSFIELD PARK AND MUMMIES tackles a hilarious new parody topic -- supernatural relationship advice

Admit it, you've secretly dreamed of "dating" a sexy brooding vampire or an alpha werewolf...

But what about dating zombies, mummies, angels, fairies, demons, ghosts, occasional spotted aliens with tentacles, or other random metaphysical impossibilities?

Furthermore, what if those paranormal beings in turn dreamed of dating each other -- each one in search of their own supernatural soul mates?

The answer lies, as usual, in the planets, and the entire solar system of planetary harmonic alignment.

Take the supernatural compatibility test and discover your own soul planet.

Discover what planet rules which supernatural species, and which paranormal personality combinations offer the most compatibility to each other -- and to you.

And then, be matched with the supernatural soul mate of your wildest dreams

It's all in here

"Plus, as a special bonus, discover the Supernatural Matchmaker's greatest advice -- the Love Secret."

VAMPIRES ARE FROM VENUS, WEREWOLVES ARE FROM MARS:
"A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love"

Since 1999, millions of readers and web crawlers have read The Satirist online. At long last, the best pieces, including previously unpublished material, have been collected into this cherished and universally loved volume of satire. Learn how to start your own religious cult in the "Seven Habits of Highly Efficient Cult Leaders" Read how converting empty shopping malls into prisons can transform the US economy Are you a conspiracy theorist? Take the test Discover Claire Hoyt, "Shrink to the Stars," who gossiped openly about the secrets of her clients, Hollywood's leading celebrities Did the French philosopher, Claude Roger, plagiarize from his own students? Was Max Sazonov a great Russian poet or a total idiot? Read reviews of imaginary movies Read reviews of imaginary works by John Irving and Thomas Pynchon. And much more 58 articles in all "The more blandness and repression there is in any society, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that blandness and repression. The Satirist serves such a purpose with imagination and style." -Author/comedian Paul Krassner "An instant Borgesian classic "