This cleverly titled BLANK BOOK is a perfect gift for tickling funny bones of believers and skeptics alike The 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" trade paperback features 90 pages of quality white paper completely uncontaminated by printing (Save for headers and footers.) It's perfect for doodling, making notes, folding origami, or ranting about the other side. In emergencies, it also doubles as toilet paper. (Softness and efficacy not guaranteed for this use ) As an added bonus, if you buy today, you will receive an extra 7 pages of blank white paper bound in with the rest Ninety-seven blank pages in all (Along with three pages of pesky titles and legal information, for a not-so-grand total of 100 pages.) The book comes complete with a glossy, full-color cover suitable for framing. The back cover features sarcastic copy sure to drive home the paperback's satirical intent. Be sure to look for other BLANK BOOKS in the From the Secret Files... ser

Fifty Shelves of Grey - The DIY guide to passion Christina is trying to use the jargon of home DIY to speak the language of love. Dave, totally oblivious, just thinks he's finally found someone as passionate about nailing, screwing and the importance of using the right lubricant when you're working away on someone's back door. Fifty Shades of Blokes is a series for us guys who just don't get all the fuss about this Fifty Shades malarkey. When handyman, Dave Woode, does some weekend work for young entrepreneur, Christina Grey, he encounters a woman who is beautiful, brilliant, and desperate to try out a 'bit of rough'. The unworldly, innocent Dave - like almost every man before him - has no idea what's going on, and believes Christina simply shares his passions for sports, DIY and gardening. The series follows the young couple as they embark on a passionate, double-entendre filled exploration of balls, power tools and spreading a bit of seed around. With every story written the way men would like it - incredibly short - the Fifty Shades of Blokes trilogy won't 'possess you' or 'obsess you', but it is quite obviously a parody that will leave you asking: How do men and women ever get together? How many men are really as simple as Dave? What does it say about our sex lives when 'the real books' sell a million copies a week? N.B. This series is intended for immature audiences.

Since 1999, millions of readers and web crawlers have read The Satirist online. At long last, the best pieces, including previously unpublished material, have been collected into this cherished and universally loved volume of satire. Learn how to start your own religious cult in the "Seven Habits of Highly Efficient Cult Leaders" Read how converting empty shopping malls into prisons can transform the US economy Are you a conspiracy theorist? Take the test Discover Claire Hoyt, "Shrink to the Stars," who gossiped openly about the secrets of her clients, Hollywood's leading celebrities Did the French philosopher, Claude Roger, plagiarize from his own students? Was Max Sazonov a great Russian poet or a total idiot? Read reviews of imaginary movies Read reviews of imaginary works by John Irving and Thomas Pynchon. And much more 58 articles in all "The more blandness and repression there is in any society, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that blandness and repression. The Satirist serves such a purpose with imagination and style." -Author/comedian Paul Krassner "An instant Borgesian classic "

The Mysterious Minute-Men are back Discover what the defenders of truth, liberty, and donuts have been doing since their Omnibus adventures Learn all about Minute-Man's first adventure, the creation of The Mysterious Minute-Men, and the shocking secret that almost destroyed the team All this plus the return of Frozzie and the introduction of Metro City's newest crime fighter: Eclipse This novel-length adventure brings The Mysterious Minute-Men face to face with who they are, were, and are destined to be. With the evil in their core rooted out, the team is finally ready to tackle the Future

An affectionate, unauthorized parody of the British TV drama, by the author of the million-selling Barry Trotter series.

Whether you're a man or a woman this collection of over fifty anecdotes based on common things that women say to men every day, should raise a smile Originally an eBook format, it was soon created in paperback format due to demand thus is a short book of 64 pages, so don't expect a 300 page novel At least the short book format is ideal for a man's attention span The follow up, 'Life of Pie - Nag Pie' is now available and is by far a more chunky traditional book that takes the reader through the journey of life and the ages of nagging, as well as a look at the inadequacies of men in the final chapter, a Life of Bragging. A Woman can ask a question and she is really asking something different, men know this and they get frustrated and answer in a way that makes them appear guilty and before they know it they face the Spanish Inquisition with a barrage of questions or comments. Men get sucked into the game and complain of Nagging If you have had the pleasure or being served a slice or two of 'Nag Pie' in your life, deserved or not, then you will relate to this collection of over fifty overused cliches, questions or comments.

A parody. When old fart blogger Mormon Silver goes to interview young entrepreneur Bea Plastique, he encounters a woman who is stunning, smart, and scary. The unsophisticated, horny Silver is startled to realize he wants this woman (from behind, mostly) and, despite her mysterious love of ice hockey, finds he is desperate to get close to her (and honk her boobies). Unable to resist Silver's oral skills, silver chin fur, and argyle socks, Plastique admits she wants him, too-but on her own terms. Stunned yet delighted by Plastique's kinkiness, Silver hesitates. For all of her success-her multinational assortment of lubricants, her gay assistant, her condo on a high floor (I mean, really high-you're almost above the clouds, for Christ's sake)-Plastique is a woman haunted by her past and consumed by the need to have hockey-related sex. When the couple embarks on a bold, twisted physical affair, Mormon discovers Bea Plastique's secrets (including a naughty uncle) and explores his own icky, sticky desires. Silly, sexy, and deeply disturbing, "Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks" is a tale that will make you horny, tickle you, and give you some great ideas to try on an unsuspecting lover.

"Five Little Zombies And Fred" is a not-for-children children's book about the perils of a zombie apocalypse, filled with zombies, a Mountie, and our hero, Fred. It spoofs the "Ten Little Monkeys Jumping On A Bed" nursery rhyme. Filled with geeky visual gags and Easter eggs, it is written and illustrated to speak to the child in every one. It tells the story of our hero Fred who finds himself in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. Will he survive with the help of his friend the Mountie? Warning: Mild zombie violence.

The visionary genius behind BetterBookTitles.com is here to help readersNmake that former readersNmaster literature without ever needing to struggle through one more tome again. Using Wilbur's techniques, anyone can fake his or her way through the classics or bestseller list.

"In Forever Azathoth Peter Cannon captures Lovecraft's style deliciously, takes affectionate digs at such horror eminences as critic S. T. Joshi and writer T.E.D. Klein, and even-has the man no shame?-subjects a number of mainstream classics to a hideous cross-pollination."-Michael Dirda "The stories in Forever Azathoth all qualify as Lovecraftian metafiction, ranging from parody to pastiche to homage. Cannon adds spice to this stew by calling in elements from authors as disparate as William Faulkner and James Herriot. The most surprising and surprisingly successful combination is Cannon's importation of P.G. Wodehouse's air-headed Bertie Wooster and Bertie's "gentleman's gentleman," the unflappable Reginald Jeeves, into the world of Lovecraftian weirdness." -Richard Lupoff H. P. Lovecraft once wrote: "As a rule, I don't think that a comic or flippant style-or one with much satire-mixes well with the weird." Peter Cannon has devoted most of his writing career to breaking this rule, usually at the expense of Lovecraft himself. This volume collects the finest and funniest of Cannon's parodies and pastiches, starting with the title story, a six-part sequel to Lovecraft's "The Thing on the Doorstep." Various Edward Derby heirs and scholars contend for control of the poet-prodigy's literary legacy, too absorbed in their own affairs to take much heed of the supernatural mischief made possible by mind transfer. Before there was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, there were the three "Wodecraft" tales, in which P. G. Wodehouse's characters show considerable savoir faire in the face of cosmic dread. Cannon also mashes up Lovecraft with two classic American writers, F. Scott Fitzgerald ("Tender Is the Night-Gaunt") and William Faulkner ("The Sound and the Fungi"). Two selections pay homage to living horror greats Ramsey Campbell ("The Undercliffe Sentences") and T.E.D. Klein ("The Arkham Collector"). "The Madness out of Space" chronicles the efforts of a scholarly New England gentleman to connect with the cosmic. This quality Hippocampus Press edition contains all the stories in the limited, signed Subterranean Press edition together with the novelette "The Madness out of Space." Handsome interior illustrations by noted Lovecraftian artist Jason C. Eckhardt, some newly commissioned for this paperback edition, form an added bonus. Peter Cannon is the author of Pulptime (1984), a Sherlock Holmes pastiche in which H. P. Lovecraft plays Dr. Watson to the great detective; Scream for Jeeves: A Parody (1994), a blend of Wodehousian humor and Lovecraftian horror with a dash of Conan Doyle; and The Lovecraft Chronicles (2004), a novel that imagines a happier and longer life for Lovecraft. He lives with his wife and three children in New York City.

How to Write Parodies and Become Immortal is an uproarious instruction book full of parody, irony, satire, bizarre wit, lab specimens, and secretly encoded recipes for doing unspeakable things with lard. The book is based on a unique and radical theory of parody, but its approach to parodic creation is so user-friendly that publication of the book may result in a shortage of agricultural workers: multitudes may be seduced into deserting the zucchini fields in order to devote their lives to the creation of parodies. For individuals this volume will empower would-be parodists to supercharge their creative fires and to transcend the common run of humanity, the "little people" whose lives are no more than blockages in the intestines of Time. Transformed by newly-acquired parodic skills, the budding paro-artiste may qualify for a listing in Who's Who in Mammalia while emerging as a "Holy Fool," a creature fit for service as an all-purpose television "Pundit" and as a dispenser of the written equivalent of Cold Dark Matter. This book is also ideally suited for college composition courses, but it should never be assigned to these academic cattle drives because the classes would be fun, and the results might be useful.

This cleverly titled BLANK BOOK is a perfect gift for tickling funny bones of believers and skeptics alike The 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" trade paperback features 90 pages of quality white paper completely uncontaminated by printing (Save for headers and footers.) It's perfect for doodling, making notes, folding origami, or ranting about the other side. In emergencies, it also doubles as toilet paper. (Softness and efficacy not guaranteed for this use ) As an added bonus, if you buy today, you will receive an extra 7 pages of blank white paper bound in with the rest Ninety-seven blank pages in all (Along with three pages of pesky titles and legal information, for a not-so-grand total of 100 pages.) The book comes complete with a glossy, full-color cover suitable for framing. The back cover features sarcastic copy sure to drive home the paperback's satirical intent. Be sure to look for other BLANK BOOKS in the From the Secret Files... ser

Mike Resnick's accomplishments (to date) include 64 novels, 21 collections, 40 anthologies, two screenplays and approximately 250 short stories-resulting in a couple of shelves of major awards (including five Hugos from 35 nominations and awards from various countries including Spain, France, Croatia and Japan). *** Of all the characters that Mike has created, Lucifer Jones remains his favorite. We are proud to republish this hilarious series of adventures starring a most unique character. *** Exploits is the second volume of the Chronicles. *** THE CHRONICLES OF LUCIFER JONES: VOLUME II *** Being a Thrilling Chronicle of Romance, Danger, Spectacle, High Adventure, Narrow Escapes, and Uplifting Triumphs Over Sinister Villains and Mystic Mages in the Exotic Continent of the East, as Recounted by the Bold, Daring, Handsome and Modest Christian Gentleman Who Experienced Them.

Mike Resnick's accomplishments (to date) include 64 novels, 21 collections, 40 anthologies, two screenplays and approximately 250 short stories-resulting in a couple of shelves of major awards (including five Hugos from 35 nominations and awards from various countries including Spain, France, Croatia and Japan). *** Of all the characters that Mike has created, Lucifer Jones remains his favorite. We are proud to republish this hilarious series of adventures starring a most unique character. *** Adventures is the first volume of the Chronicles. *** THE CHRONICLES OF LUCIFER JONES *** Being a Stirring Chronicle of Intrigue, Romance, Danger, Hairbreadth Escapes, and Thrilling Triumphs over Fierce Beasts and Fiercer Men in the Mysterious and Exotic Dark Continent, as Recounted by the Daring, Resourceful, Handsome, and Modest Christian Gentleman Who Experienced Them

Title: The song of Milkanwatha.Author: Marc Antony HendersonPublisher: Gale, Sabin Americana Description: Based on Joseph Sabin's famed bibliography, Bibliotheca Americana, Sabin Americana, 1500--1926 contains a collection of books, pamphlets, serials and other works about the Americas, from the time of their discovery to the early 1900s. Sabin Americana is rich in original accounts of discovery and exploration, pioneering and westward expansion, the U.S. Civil War and other military actions, Native Americans, slavery and abolition, religious history and more.Sabin Americana offers an up-close perspective on life in the western hemisphere, encompassing the arrival of the Europeans on the shores of North America in the late 15th century to the first decades of the 20th century. Covering a span of over 400 years in North, Central and South America as well as the Caribbean, this collection highlights the society, politics, religious beliefs, culture, contemporary opinions and momentous events of the time. It provides access to documents from an assortment of genres, sermons, political tracts, newspapers, books, pamphlets, maps, legislation, literature and more.Now for the first time, these high-quality digital scans of original works are available via print-on-demand, making them readily accessible to libraries, students, independent scholars, and readers of all ages.++++The below data was compiled from various identification fields in the bibliographic record of this title. This data is provided as an additional tool in helping to insure edition identification: ++++SourceLibrary: Huntington LibraryDocumentID: SABCP01500600CollectionID: CTRG95-B226PublicationDate: 18560101SourceBibCitation: Selected Americana from Sabin's Dictionary of books relating to AmericaNotes: Parodies on Longfellow (The song of Hiawatha), Tennyson (The lotus eaters, The brook) ... et al.] Appeared originally in 1856 under title: The song of Milgenwater, published by Jones, Brown & Robinson, Cincinnati, Ohio.Collation: 144 p.; 19 cm

As the trial of terrorist mastermind Abdullah "Johnny Three Fingers" Bin-Al Raheem and his troop of would-be Holy Warriors draws near, someone is trying to kill the Prosecution's key witnesses - with an emphasis on the word 'trying'. But as the FBI races against time to stop this assassin, a patriotic militia group has its own plan to utilize the trial to make a point. From the tropical beaches of the Virgin Islands, to the majestic plains of North Dakota, to the bustling streets of New York City and all points in between, chaos and mayhem reign in The Patriot Plan; fed by the collective misadventures of transplanted Somali militants, Swedish male model mercenaries, misguided conspiracy theorists, ornery iguanas, and even two playful saber-tooth tigers.

Although the author (with many previous unique Snarkian works under his belt) describes "Snarkmaster" as the final work in a trilogy, it stands alone quite distinctly as a unique, gripping tale of a power struggle between good and evil, concluding with the development of an unusual intermediate state. Most of the story takes place prior to the traditional Snark voyage (described in verse in Lewis Carroll's "The Hunting of the Snark"), but becomes inextricably linked with it-unless it isn't... The literary structure of "Snarkmaster" reveals some influence of Carroll's "Sylvie and Bruno" tales, as the characters (including the great Charles Dodgson himself) experience dream states and the appearance of at least one fairy. The comprehensive glossary and painstakingly hand-detailed maps of each of the islands in the archipelago may not be essential to follow the story, but they certainly enhance it. The meticulously hand-inked illustrations emphasize some of the important aspects of the story and provide a tropical ambiance for the text. While not necessarily a prerequisite, knowledge of Carroll's original poem is likely to make Snarkmaster more enjoyable for most readers.

Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is a unique collection of twenty classic Mark Twain short stories and anecdotal sketches that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language. When author Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, he often enjoyed teaching and reading Mark Twain's "influential literature" to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school academic students. Remarkably, Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835-1910) was both born and died the same years that Halley's Comet had made its seventy-five year revolution around the solar system. Clemens acquired his pen name "Mark Twain" from Mississippi River steamboat terminology of "twain" being a water depth of two fathoms (twelve feet), the allowable safe level for a riverboat to navigate over a reef or shoal, and the depth was measured by a leadsman who threw a heavy lead weight overboard and then after lifting it out of the river, would mark the twain. Clemens became a successful riverboat pilot under the direction of a captain named Horace Bixby, but after the Civil War broke out, the Mississippi River was closed down to commercial traffic. Being unemployed, Sam Clemens journeyed out west to try his hand at gold prospecting in Nevada and then at newspaper journalism in California. The writer gained international recognition with the publication of his classic humorous short story "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County," first published in 1865. Mark Twain is generally regarded as a humorist but he is also understood by literary critics as being a serious philosopher and an astute analyzer of the antebellum and post Civil War American society of his time. Twain's most famous novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Other important Mark Twain works are the books: Roughing It, Life on the Mississippi and Innocents Abroad, and some short literary sketches from the last mentioned three books have been used in organizing this outrageous satire/parody. Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is author Jay Dubya's thirty-sixth published book.

Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is a unique collection of twenty classic Mark Twain short stories and anecdotal sketches that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language. When author Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, he often enjoyed teaching and reading Mark Twain's "influential literature" to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school academic students.

Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized is a unique collection of eighteen classic Edgar Allan Poe short stories that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language, and the work is the thirty-fifth book of author Jay Dubya (John Weissner). When Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, during his thirty-four-year classroom career, he often enjoyed teaching and reading the influential literature of Edgar Allen Poe to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school students.

Were there not some amid all that fashionable throng in whom ideals of purity and true womanhood lived-- some who cared enough for the sacredness of real love to cry upon this hollow mockery that was being used to ensnare the simple, honest soldier? There was only one, and she was at that moment entering the drawing room for the purpose of being presented to the general. Need I name her.

The third adventure in the PAUL BLAINE, AGENT of COVERT series finds Blaine and his partner, Danny Willoughby tracking down a member of ITCH (Islamic Terrorist Clan of Hate) who has been assassinating U.S. government agents at a frightening rate. Silly situations abound as Paul hunts the terrorist and Danny prepares for a Jacks Tournament

O. Henry: Obscenely and Outrageously Obliterated is a collection of eighteen classic William Sidney Porter "surprise ending" short stories/novellas that have been imaginatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language. This extremely humorous book is author' Jay Dubya's 34th published work. When the writer was a New Jersey public school English teacher for thirty-four years, he often enjoyed teaching and reading O. Henry's "influential literature" with his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school students. Even though O. Henry (1862-1910) had died at a very young age, he still managed to remarkably write over five hundred short stories and anecdotal sketches. W.S. Porter's fiction often occurs in familiar U.S. environments and settings that he had known well during his short tenure on this planet, particularly New York City, Southern Texas, the mountains of Tennessee, Central America and the post Civil War American South. Most interestingly, many of O. Henry's terrific short stories were authored while he was in jail. In 1892 Porter moved to Texas and soon became a teller at an Austin bank where the institution's officials accused him of illegally manipulating funds into his own account. Porter fled to Central America but upon returning to the states after his wife became very ill, the on-the-lam short story author was captured and then convicted. Thus, one of O. Henry's most famous stories "A Retrieved Reformation" involves safecracker Jimmy Valentine getting out of prison and in a geographical sense, the writer's humorous stories "Shoes" and "Shoes and Ships" both take place in Coralio, an imaginary seacoast village in Central America. It is widely believed that the unique writing name "O. Henry" had been conceived in honor of a certain security guard named Orrin Henry, who had been employed at the federal penitentiary where the literary genius William Sidney Porter had been serving his bank felony sentence.

The world around you is a dangerous place. It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?
You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers--anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.