"The Devil's Dictionary," by Ambrose Bierce, is a satirical book first published in 1911. It offers reinterpretations of terms in the English language which lampoon cant and political double-talk. "The Devil's Dictionary" has inspired many imitations both in its day and more recently. Recent examples include "The Computer Contradictionary" and "The Devil's Dictionary X."

We all know the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, but what happened after Christmas morning? Humorist Michael Gerber follows up his million-selling parodies of Harry Potter and Narnia with a delightfully skewed take on Dickens' beloved Christmas tale.

The Devil's Food Dictionary is a full-blown culinary dictionary parody. Uniquely loony, edgy, and funny, it boasts nearly 1,100 entries, 250 footnotes, an extensive phony bibliography, and 26 illustrations. This is the most creative food writing being done anywhere, either in print or online.

You are what you watch! What if classic TV could heal your inner child? No, really, we're serious. It's possible if you understand what your programming choices say about you! In this delightful send-up of self-help books, author Dr. Will Miller asks: Did you love Lassie, the cross-dressing canine hero who saved little Timmy from raging rivers and mine shafts? It could be a sign of co-dependency and an impulse for self-sacrifice. What does your devotion to Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie say about your marriage and your view of gender? Why do men love the Three Stooges? Why do women loathe them? Do you have an inner Moe, Larry or Curly? And do you know why you must kill your inner Gilligan? Is it really possible for the nation to be emotionally healed by viewing The Brady Bunch? The answers to these questions will surprise and thrill you. Dr. Will Miller, the founder of the revolutionary science of teletherapy, reveals all these truths and more in this groundbreaking book that explains Why We Watch! In a matter of moments, you'll be watching your way to wellness! Really.

"The Devil's Dictionary," by Ambrose Bierce, is a satirical book first published in 1911. It offers reinterpretations of terms in the English language which lampoon cant and political double-talk. "The Devil's Dictionary" has inspired many imitations both in its day and more recently. Recent examples include "The Computer Contradictionary" and "The Devil's Dictionary X."

Written with brilliant wit, sharp observation and a big dose of reality, Love Poems for Married People takes the poetic form, turns it upside down and leaves it in the dishwasher to dry.

Including such gems as Why Are You in The Shower With Me? Our Love is Tested in Traffic and What Time Should We Leave for the Airport? John Kenney's poems are packed with funny, wry observations about the reality of life once the initial shine of a relationship has dulled. From parental gripes to dwindling sex lives; from less-than-romantic gifts to irritating personal habits, it's all covered.

Is chivalry close to being extinct? Author Roger Smith thinks so. And "The Gentlemen's Guide: A Quick Reference" is the solution In defining "gentleman," Smith does not cater to the definition of a tuxedo-wearing, Ferrari-driving, multilingual man ala James Bond. Instead, he believes a gentleman is defined in terms of behavior that is courteous, mannerly, and poised. Smith believes the average man can easily increase his manners by making simple changes. Excellent manners and thoughtfulness have virtually disappeared in our current culture. But it doesn't take much for a man to restore himself to the good graces of his significant other Among the suggestions Smith has compiled to help men improve their relationships with wives or girlfriends are the following: Hold her-that's one thing your arms are for Make her lunch-she may not like a sardine and guacamole sandwich, but it's the thought that counts Walk with her-remember it's together time, not a race Kiss her-do not burp before or after Take this opportunity to find the gentleman inside-your other half will thank you for it

Russia, Winston Churchill said, is an enigma wrapped in a riddle buried in a mystery. But no longer In his own words, one of Russia's billionaire businessmen, fertilizer tycoon Oleg 'Oli' Garkhov, takes us inside contemporary Russia and explains everything you ever wanted to know about this vast and confusing country. Learn how to raise children and catch tigers, understand the difference between the rule of law and dictatorship of the law, see why transparent corporate governance is irrelevant, observe the beginning of the anti-Putin youth movement, savor new Russian interior design, and master the secret of being a famous lover to beautiful Russian girls. Oli Garkhov takes us on an inside tour of life in Russia's political, business and social scenes. While searching for a suitable new wife, who can mix successfully with the smart set (there's something not quite "class" enough about lap-dancers), and wrestling with the problems of his children, Boris (Old Etonian - but is he a drug dealer or an up and coming businessman?) and Masha (why is she obsessed with overthrowing President Putin and is she really a lesbian?), Garkhov confronts the everyday challenges of keeping his business empire, aided by his faithful chief executive, Misha (you'd be grateful too, if you'd been rescued from Safanova) while hampered by his American adviser on corporate governance, Mike (did he learn nothing of value at all at Harvard?). At least he can count on the dedicated service of his murderous head of security, Pavel (or can he, now that Pavel thinks he is a reincarnated poodle?). Along the way learn why the Russian government is paralyzed, why you don't have to be a spy to be a spy, and why Gorbachev's failure to understand fertilizers led to the collapse of the Soviet Union. This is the remarkable account of one man's chaotic life.

Behold the first tech-version of "The Onion" (actually, they've been ripping us off for years). Contained herein are all the AcmeVaporware press releases, TorpoPhysical Bulletins, supersecret communiques, meeting notes and general colonic errata associated with a torpo-decade under the influence, to include the latter half of The Roaring Nineties, and on into the crappy and dangerous Force-vector Zeroes, not to mention one BROBDINGNAGIAN run-on sentence that doesn't seem to know when to stop, or where, or how. Phew. As you well know, corporate press releases in general are a big stupid archaic waste of time -- and our corporate press releases are no exception. The TORPOMETRONOMICON represents the ULTIMATE in IT/networking bathroom reading.

James Pinocchio wakes up in the back of a New York City taxi with a combination lock piercing his left ear and no idea how it got there, or what the combination is.

The following day, his wealthy parents decide they've had enough, and they send him off to Sleepy Hollow, the famous rehab facility in Upstate New York. While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.

The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio

A Dishy Tell-All Memoir from the Great Ape A funny thing happened on the way to the Empire State Building...and now, for the first time since his 1933 debut, King Kong, thelegendary ape of the big screen, tells his fascinating story. In My Side, he answers: What was his romantic lead Fay Wray covering up? Not much, according to the wonderful and frank creature who sneaked several good peeks. For which great power was on-screen nemesis Bruce Cabot a secret agent? Don't ask. Read. How did Kong -- a serious and trained actor -- refuse to parrot his lines, unlike some of his costars, and get into character? Kong also offers anecdotes and memories of David O. Selznick, Frank Sinatra, Bill Cosby, Stalin, and many more luminaries from his long and storied career. Gritty and powerful, this 132-foot simian's story will take you from the darkest jungle to atop the highest skyscraper of the day, but always keep you laughing with his hilarious side of the story.

Have you ever wondered what was the name of the band Michael J. Fox played with in Back to the Future? Or how to tell if a band is really fake? (One hint - it's made of clay!) Or which fake bands had real Top Ten hits? The Rocklopedia Fakebandica has all the answers. Based on a successful and popular website, this hysterical, witty, and irreverent book contains over 1000 entries (more than 500 of which are all new) covering such pop-culture staples as: Spinal Tap; Conrad Birdie; Schroeder; The Monkees; The Partridge Family; The Blues Brothers; The California Raisins; Eddie and the Cruisers; Gemini's Twin; Kids Incorporated; Wyld Stallyons; Josie and the Pussycats

A celebration of the diffference between men and women, how they think and how they behave.

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces, Part II is adult literature satirizing classic children's stories and the work is written in the spirit of its predecessor Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces. The new work FFFF&FF Part II features adult language, adult content and adult satirical humor.
Author Jay Dubya goes right to work corrupting familiar children's stories The Three Scruffy Gruffy Billy Goats, The Gay Tailor Who Became King, Petey Rabbit, Thumbilisa Thumbilina, The Emperor's Invisible Clothes and Goldie Lox and the Three Ursas. Several British legends are re-invented with hilarious adult renditions of St. George Slays the Dragon and Arthur Becomes King of England. Greek myths are imaginatively sabotaged with comical presentations of Daphne's Daft Daffiness, Bellerophon's Marathon Adventure, Baucis and Philemon, Psyche and Stupid Cupid and Atalantas's Last Race.
Other popular children's stories that are put into adult parodies are Pinocchio's Personality Problem, The Wolf and the Seven Lame Lambs, The Sorcerer's Un-resourceful Apprentice and Peter Pansy Does Kensington Gardens. Finally Author Jay Dubya presents very amusing renditions of the classic tales Alice Visits Wonderland and Aladdin's Little Lamp. Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces, Part II is definitely not written for or to be read by children.

In 20 years, what smoker will legitimately be able to claim that he or she didn't know cigarettes were harmful or addictive? And how shocked will a jury really be when it hears that a tobacco executive in the 1960s knew about the addictive nature of cigarettes? There's no real evidence that telling kids not to smoke really works. Indeed, studies have shown that it can often have the opposite effect. Children, by their very nature, love to defy authority, and spending millions on advertising to vilify the cigarette could ultimately serve to enhance its appeal. The cigarette is and will continue to be forbidden fruit. Even though the films of Hollywood's Golden Age once portrayed smoking as a normal activity, smoking no longer enjoys such popularity-and for good reason. An estimated 3.5 million people worldwide still die each year from smoking-related illnesses. Through the use of factoids and cartoons, author Gilbert M. Silva illustrates his belief that smokers are victims of what is essentially a ridiculous and deadly activity. the use of tobacco products are indisputable, and they deserve serious consideration. Your body will appreciate it, don't you think?'. This is certainly an important topic, and I want to congratulate you on an entertaining and well-produced book. - Diane Scott-Lichter, publishing director, the American Cancer Society.

REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
Let's face it, there are thousands of books out there to help you avoid self-destructive behavior--but what fun is that? Welcome to the first book designed to help you not help yourself. Here you'll find unsound advice on everything from engineering a revenge affair to picking the gateway drug that's best for you.
Chapters include:
- 12 Steps to a Drinking "Problem"
- Condoms Are for Suckers
- How to Lose Way Too Much Weight in 90 Days
- And more!
As you travel down the road to self-destruction, let this hedonistic handbook be your guide. It may steer you wrong--in fact, it's sure to do so--but when being wrong is this much fun, who wants to be right?

Now more than ever, Americans are troubled by questions. As sweaty modernity thrusts itself upon us, the veil of ignorance that cloaked our nation hangs in tatters, tattered tatters. Our "funny bones" are neither fun nor bony. Glum is the new giddy, and the old giddy wasn't too giddy to begin with.
What can be done to stop this relentless march of drabbery? Nothing. But perhaps this book can be used to dull the pain. Included herein:
The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio
Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for "The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring" DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One.
How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach
My Beard, Reviewed
Circumstances under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors
Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies, If It Weren't for Their Unsuitable Meanings
As a Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise
Ineffective Ways to Subdue a Jaguar
Eleven Lunch Meats I Have Invented
Four Things I Would Have Said to Sylvia Plath if I Had Been Her Boyfriend
And much, much more, including 20 brilliant new lists . . .

In staff meetings and singles bars, on freeways and fairways, there are aggravating people lurking everywhere these days. But bestselling humorist Henry Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations, offering a slew of quips your nemesis won't soon forget . . . or even understand. Beard's gift is his ability to make fun of popular culture and the current zeitgeist. In "X-Treme Latin he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks and wisecracks. Within its pages you will learn how to insult or fire coworkers; blame corporate scandals on someone else; cheer at a World Wrestling Entertainment match; talk back to your computer, TV, or Game Boy; deal with your road rage; evade threatening situations; snowboard in style; talk like Tony Soprano; and much more. With dozens more zingers for quashing e-mail pranks, psyching out your golf opponent, giving backhanded compliments and evading awkward questions, "X-Treme Latin is destined for "magnus popularity and will have readers cheering, ""Celebremus!"

Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Low Fat, or the ever-present South Beach all promise the same things-starvation, deprivation, self-denial, unhappiness, irritation, and most importantly, failure as you seek the elusive and unattainable emaciation of Hollywood stars.? Why go that tragic route when now you CAN have it all-doughnuts, milkshakes, double meat and cheese burgers, and best of all deep fried snickers bars on the brand new North Beach Diet?? Author Kim Bailey, the poster child of this groundbreaking new food plan, says it best...? "I gained 145 pounds, became emotionally insulated, and allowed food to control every aspect of my life?now you can too!"

This parody of the ubiquitous South Beach Diet celebrates the joys of sugar, butter, and all things carbohydrate. This high-fat, high-salt, real sugar movement is the perfect backlash to the overwhelming barrage of diet plans that dominate bookstore shelves and bedside tables. It is filled with helpful tips, including . . .Slower is always betterAlways use food as an emotional outletStressed spelled backwards is desserts

Exercise is all virtual in this innovative "Body-By-Cake" program with routines such as: Pie-laties, NordicSnack, and Cap'n Crunches.

The "Robust Gourmet" section of the book is one of its best features with over 60 high calorie recipes made with lots of real butter, refined sugar, white flour, and chocolate.? You'll be entertained by a few of these like the Battered Fried Twinkies, Biscuits and Chocolate Gravy, and the 7-Layer Nabisco English Trifle, and delighted by most, as you enjoy the sumptuous comfort-food offerings of Cognac Braised Short-Ribs, Buttermilk Vidalia Onion Rings, and Sweet PotatoPie.

"Teachings of the Cat Zen Masters," by Sheryll Dahlke, is a collection of quotes by famous cats, such as T. Furball, Oscar Wildecat, and many others. Felix Waldo Emerson, for instance, says: "There is a cat-like quality in everything God has made." In these pithy sayings, cats live totally in the moment with full awareness. Like a contradiction, they study the Self to forget the Self. They are centered in balance and in time, completely within the activity of the moment--whether playing with a stone or a butterfly. "This little book is a joyous read. You will be given the powerful, loving freedom for you to be yourself."--Juanita "Catastrophe" Tobin, Poet--Blowing Rock, NC."The enlightened cat is a beautiful thing. We humans can learn a few things from "Teachings of the Cat Zen Masters." Enjoy!"--Rita Bayron, Faithful Feline Follower--Coppell, TX.

THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who not only loves watching their favourite TV series over and over, but also enjoys reading online forums about their favourite TV series over and over. __________________________________ 'This is a nerd. He has a PhD and works in the biochemistry lab of a university hospital. But this is not what makes him a nerd. His catalogued and indexed collection of over 6,000 empty crisp packets does that.' __________________________________ 'These nerds have paid money to see a film they think is terrible and have seen at least thirty times before. They are having the most fun they can possibly have.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister How it Works: The Baby The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star A Ladybird First Grown-Up Picture Book Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

At his popular Internet Web site, author Bill Stockton uses piercing satire and zany humor to take on everything from George W. Bush and Washington's neoconservatives to the danger of global warming caused by bovine methane emissions. In "Is That True or Did You Make It Up? Cosmic Ruminations from Bill Stockton's Satirium.com," the author has assembled the funniest articles from his satirical cyber-hangout, www.satirium.com, including:

Telepathic Parrot Caught Monitoring Karl Rove's BrainIs Death Final? Debate Riles Obituary WritersCastoff Armani Launches Homeless Man's Lobbyist CareerLatest Terror Worry Is Radioactive Horse Manure"Lord of the Rings" Plunges Fan into Six-Day ComaNeocon Identity Card Theft Alarms Beltway Insiders

The author, an editor at "The New York Times" for two decades, learned the hard way that nothing is ever what it seems. "Is That True or Did You Make It Up?" provides a witty and irreverent road map to a new world order viewed from behind the looking glass. Be warned: this book could cause you to shriek helplessly and roll around on the floor.