In Selling Out, author Joey Green has taken the voices of famous writers past and present - from Nathaniel Hawthorne to e. e. cummings, Jane Austen to Erica Jong - and fashioned their words into the ad campaigns they might have written if their prose pushed brand-name products. Sure to raise a chuckle from anyone who ever watched television commercials, as well as from those slightly familiar with classic literature, Selling Out is a hysterical look at what our most famous authors might have written if they'd sold their souls to advertising. For this revised and expanded second edition, Green added another fifteen parodies, bringing the total to fifty unforgettable ad campaigns, including William Blake's "Tony Tiger," Franz Kafka's "Raid Kills Bugs Dead," John Updike's "Rabbit Keeps Going and Going," and George Orwell's "The Un-Cola."

The world around you is a dangerous place. It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?
You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers--anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.

Parody; satire; a comic novel packed with hilarious episodes, some macabrely so; the history of a Quest; a page-turner of an adventure tale It is all of these things A French Duc aestivates (mm ) in his Yorkshire retreat, unaware that in the neighbouring county an evil compatriot is about to exploit the weaknesses of two men in order to steal long-hidden artefacts. The Duc accepts a commission from the Catholic Church to find and recover the malevolent Talisman and two scrolls with perilous content. Helped by old friends, a young American astro-physicist and a maimed, aristocratic, exiled Russian biochemist, and also his homicidal chauffeur, his quest takes him from the Yorkshire dales to the south of France and back again. His path crosses that of two delightful French women who, it turns out, are unwitting but crucial elements in the malefactor's wiles. Fortunes fluctuate as the story gathers pace before it hurtles to a wholly surprising denouement

Completely inappropriate humor coupled with dark poetry and flash fiction. It's more fun than you can shake a dead kitten at.

Author T.J. Russ is out to provide all the reasons that President Barack Obama must be re-elected in 2012. President Obama may be the greatest President in history, and this book reveals the shocking evidence. WARNING: This book contains all blank pages, making a fun political statement. If you love this book and want to order large quantities, or you're interested in publishing your own blank book, visit www.TerenceStormPublishing.com.

Author T.J. Russ has spanned the United States, looking for all the evidence that Barack Obama is keeping America free, strong, and prosperous. This blockbuster new book contains the results of his research! WARNING: This book contains all blank pages, making a fun political statement. If you love this book and want to order large quantities, or you're interested in publishing your own blank book, visit www.TerenceStormPublishing.com.

Mike Resnick's accomplishments (to date) include 64 novels, 21 collections, 40 anthologies, two screenplays and approximately 250 short stories-resulting in a couple of shelves of major awards (including five Hugos from 35 nominations and awards from various countries including Spain, France, Croatia and Japan). *** Of all the characters that Mike has created, Lucifer Jones remains his favorite. We are proud to republish this hilarious series of adventures starring a most unique character. *** Adventures is the first volume of the Chronicles. *** THE CHRONICLES OF LUCIFER JONES *** Being a Stirring Chronicle of Intrigue, Romance, Danger, Hairbreadth Escapes, and Thrilling Triumphs over Fierce Beasts and Fiercer Men in the Mysterious and Exotic Dark Continent, as Recounted by the Daring, Resourceful, Handsome, and Modest Christian Gentleman Who Experienced Them

This cleverly titled BLANK BOOK is a perfect gift for tickling funny bones of believers and skeptics alike The 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" trade paperback features 90 pages of quality white paper completely uncontaminated by printing (Save for headers and footers.) It's perfect for doodling, making notes, folding origami, or ranting about the other side. In emergencies, it also doubles as toilet paper. (Softness and efficacy not guaranteed for this use ) As an added bonus, if you buy today, you will receive an extra 7 pages of blank white paper bound in with the rest Ninety-seven blank pages in all (Along with three pages of pesky titles and legal information, for a not-so-grand total of 100 pages.) The book comes complete with a glossy, full-color cover suitable for framing. The back cover features sarcastic copy sure to drive home the paperback's satirical intent. Be sure to look for other BLANK BOOKS in the From the Secret Files... ser

Chestnut Hill Local columnists Mike Todd, Janet Gilmore, Hugh Gilmore, and Jim Harris, (L-R), have not only survived in the troubled and struggling newspaper business, they have amassed a devoted following of fans who shower them with lavish presents like scrapple, bowling balls, and money from Nigerian bank accounts. Until recently, their columns were available only to the readers of the Local, but now you, too, can "LOL" as: Hugh warns of the "Enemies of Reading" Janet remembers old friends, old flames and ex-coworkers Mike deals with wrens, ferrets, and a pregnant wife in his house Jim dispenses dubious advice and rails against the system
They each have their own style and shtick, but they share a love of language and an innate ability to find the humor in everyday life. Not since Ben Franklin dined alone at the Mermaid Inn has Chestnut Hill seen such a concentration of comedic talent. Here, from among their hundreds of articles, hand-picked by a rigorous process of "One potato, two potato," is a rollicking roundup of mirthful monologues for your gracious consideration.

The Mysterious Minute-Men are back Discover what the defenders of truth, liberty, and donuts have been doing since their Omnibus adventures Learn all about Minute-Man's first adventure, the creation of The Mysterious Minute-Men, and the shocking secret that almost destroyed the team All this plus the return of Frozzie and the introduction of Metro City's newest crime fighter: Eclipse This novel-length adventure brings The Mysterious Minute-Men face to face with who they are, were, and are destined to be. With the evil in their core rooted out, the team is finally ready to tackle the Future

When 100 senators play Red Rover... when dogs pee on moving joggers... when conspiracy theories arise over the Bush "Shoe Incident," you have a truth in the purest form. In the format of the lying news company that produces The Onion, you have the only thing better; The Unbitten Onion. Thirty-four articles that will make your stomach hurt, your cheeks burn, and your friends look at you with mercy, The Unbitten Onion is a book that you should only read with a phone nearby (with 911 on the speed-dial).

This cleverly titled BLANK BOOK is a perfect gift for tickling funny bones of believers and skeptics alike The 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" trade paperback features 90 pages of quality white paper completely uncontaminated by printing (Save for headers and footers.) It's perfect for doodling, making notes, folding origami, or ranting about the other side. In emergencies, it also doubles as toilet paper. (Softness and efficacy not guaranteed for this use ) As an added bonus, if you buy today, you will receive an extra 7 pages of blank white paper bound in with the rest Ninety-seven blank pages in all (Along with three pages of pesky titles and legal information, for a not-so-grand total of 100 pages.) The book comes complete with a glossy, full-color cover suitable for framing. The back cover features sarcastic copy sure to drive home the paperback's satirical intent. Be sure to look for other BLANK BOOKS in the From the Secret Files... ser

This cleverly titled BLANK BOOK is a perfect gift for tickling funny bones of believers and skeptics alike The 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" trade paperback features 90 pages of quality white paper completely uncontaminated by printing (Save for headers and footers.) It's perfect for doodling, making notes, folding origami, or ranting about the other side. In emergencies, it also doubles as toilet paper. (Softness and efficacy not guaranteed for this use ) As an added bonus, if you buy today, you will receive an extra 7 pages of blank white paper bound in with the rest Ninety-seven blank pages in all (Along with three pages of pesky titles and legal information, for a not-so-grand total of 100 pages.) The book comes complete with a glossy, full-color cover suitable for framing. The back cover features sarcastic copy sure to drive home the paperback's satirical intent. Be sure to look for other BLANK BOOKS in the From the Secret Files... ser

Do you think that you know "The Situation"? Take the quiz and find out.Here's how to get your situation up to the level of the Situation
Listen, dawg. You're probably hitting the gym, doing your tanning, and picking up fresh laundry every day. And maybe you've had some success beating up the beat and creeping on chicks in the club. But do you really think your situation is where it needs to be? Be honest with yourself, bro.
This book here will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations (because we can't all look like Rambo, pretty much, with our shirt off). We start with GTL-the bedrock of life itself. And then we hit the GTL Remix-the rules for getting your personal grooming did. From there it's my guide to the Jersey Shore, battle plans for the club, a primer on grenades and wingmen, and tips for ridding yourself of all levels of clinger. Then I look at the big picture: how to cook the perfect lasagna, how to find a life partner, and how to deal with being one of the most famous people on the planet-which is guaranteed if you follow my advice.
This is the bible for Situation Nation. Read it, live it, and crush it.

Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is a unique collection of twenty classic Mark Twain short stories and anecdotal sketches that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language. When author Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, he often enjoyed teaching and reading Mark Twain's "influential literature" to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school academic students. Remarkably, Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835-1910) was both born and died the same years that Halley's Comet had made its seventy-five year revolution around the solar system. Clemens acquired his pen name "Mark Twain" from Mississippi River steamboat terminology of "twain" being a water depth of two fathoms (twelve feet), the allowable safe level for a riverboat to navigate over a reef or shoal, and the depth was measured by a leadsman who threw a heavy lead weight overboard and then after lifting it out of the river, would mark the twain. Clemens became a successful riverboat pilot under the direction of a captain named Horace Bixby, but after the Civil War broke out, the Mississippi River was closed down to commercial traffic. Being unemployed, Sam Clemens journeyed out west to try his hand at gold prospecting in Nevada and then at newspaper journalism in California. The writer gained international recognition with the publication of his classic humorous short story "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County," first published in 1865. Mark Twain is generally regarded as a humorist but he is also understood by literary critics as being a serious philosopher and an astute analyzer of the antebellum and post Civil War American society of his time. Twain's most famous novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Other important Mark Twain works are the books: Roughing It, Life on the Mississippi and Innocents Abroad, and some short literary sketches from the last mentioned three books have been used in organizing this outrageous satire/parody. Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is author Jay Dubya's thirty-sixth published book.

Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is a unique collection of twenty classic Mark Twain short stories and anecdotal sketches that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language. When author Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, he often enjoyed teaching and reading Mark Twain's "influential literature" to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school academic students.

Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized is a unique collection of eighteen classic Edgar Allan Poe short stories that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language, and the work is the thirty-fifth book of author Jay Dubya (John Weissner). When Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, during his thirty-four-year classroom career, he often enjoyed teaching and reading the influential literature of Edgar Allen Poe to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school students.

Were there not some amid all that fashionable throng in whom ideals of purity and true womanhood lived-- some who cared enough for the sacredness of real love to cry upon this hollow mockery that was being used to ensnare the simple, honest soldier? There was only one, and she was at that moment entering the drawing room for the purpose of being presented to the general. Need I name her.

O. Henry: Obscenely and Outrageously Obliterated is a collection of eighteen classic William Sidney Porter "surprise ending" short stories/novellas that have been imaginatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language. This extremely humorous book is author' Jay Dubya's 34th published work. When the writer was a New Jersey public school English teacher for thirty-four years, he often enjoyed teaching and reading O. Henry's "influential literature" with his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school students. Even though O. Henry (1862-1910) had died at a very young age, he still managed to remarkably write over five hundred short stories and anecdotal sketches. W.S. Porter's fiction often occurs in familiar U.S. environments and settings that he had known well during his short tenure on this planet, particularly New York City, Southern Texas, the mountains of Tennessee, Central America and the post Civil War American South. Most interestingly, many of O. Henry's terrific short stories were authored while he was in jail. In 1892 Porter moved to Texas and soon became a teller at an Austin bank where the institution's officials accused him of illegally manipulating funds into his own account. Porter fled to Central America but upon returning to the states after his wife became very ill, the on-the-lam short story author was captured and then convicted. Thus, one of O. Henry's most famous stories "A Retrieved Reformation" involves safecracker Jimmy Valentine getting out of prison and in a geographical sense, the writer's humorous stories "Shoes" and "Shoes and Ships" both take place in Coralio, an imaginary seacoast village in Central America. It is widely believed that the unique writing name "O. Henry" had been conceived in honor of a certain security guard named Orrin Henry, who had been employed at the federal penitentiary where the literary genius William Sidney Porter had been serving his bank felony sentence.

Parodies of Haggard's fantasy novel She.

Originally published in 1978, this anthology includes facsimile reprints of three novel-length parodies of H. Rider Haggard's fantasy tales: "King Solomon's Wives; or, The Phantom Mines, by "Hyder Ragged" (pseud. of Henry Chartres Biron), 1887; "King Solomon's Treasures," by John De Morgan, 1887; and "Bess: A Companion to Jess," by John De Morgan, 1887.