Anesthesia Peel meets Crispin BenGay, a filthy rich and incredibly hunkalicious entrepreneur, during an interview for her beauty-school newspaper. BenGay is mysteriously attracted to Ana, a social zero who's never even used email. He makes her his submissive, to have, to hold and to hurt. "Fifty Shades of BenGay" puts a whole new spin on the bestselling romance novel with a soft-porn filling. That ridiculous contract: "Hard limits: No acts involving clowns or mimes...".Laughable lovemaking: "His mouth finds mine, which isn't hard, considering how big my mouth is...".Ana's multiple personalities: "My inner goddess is picking her nose...".Those ludicrous emails. "Crispin: About our 'deal': thanks, but no thanks. P.S. Can I keep the laptop?" This book is intended for immature adults. It contains explicit scenes of a physically impossible nature.

In this retelling of Lewis Carroll's classic tale, Alice's fall down the rabbit hole turns into a terrifying descent through the centre of the Earth, hopelessly snarling her hair into a tangles mess, and nearly setting it alight.

STARVE CURSE HATE (Cynthia St Clair's Search for What-ever ) is a spoof of EAT PRAY LOVE. In this oddly inspirational book the main character Cynthia, a rich beautiful divorcee who is looking for inner peace, love and happiness, decides to follow in author Elizabeth Gilbert's footsteps and travel to Italy, India and Indonesia. While on her journey, when one thing after another goes wrong, wrong, wrong, Cynthia begins to ask, "Whoa God, how come you answered all of Elizabeth's prayers but you haven't answered any of mine?" Then suddenly she realizes: perhaps HE has

Melody Litton has taken a break from her traditional self-help books to pair up with Zombie expert, Travis Thornton, in producing this essential guide to understanding and planning for the not so distant future. The Zombie Apocalypse is coming. It's time to prepare. While the rest of the world lives in fear and strives to protect themselves from what they see as an impending doom, those who read this guide will be ready to rise above that fear. They will be ready to create a future worth living: A future which embraces life as a zombie.

Obesity plagues America and stalks the rest of the world. Sex is in decline, drugs are on the rise and politics is in tatters, the perfect stew that explains our expanding girth. Here is a daring new explanation for obesity. Don't let the facts stand in the way of junk food science. Just grab some chips and start reading. 3 Faces of Obesity takes a light-hearted look at a heavyweight subject in bad need of some fresh attention. Praise for this edition: "Jansen has made a breakthrough in understanding this 3-sided coin. He shows a feeble grasp of biology and science, but faulty thinking does not stop him from reaching the right conclusions about what is behind obesity." - J. Pansen "This unknown author goes out on a limb and brings back a bird's nest of theories about addiction, nutrition, and psychology. Did "eat the weenie" really replace "hide the weenie"? Find out here. - P. Ansenjay Also from RedPagePress, "Vatican Museum Oddities" ... a humor laced critique of the unholy art collected by popes through the ages.

An author's mind is a terrible thing to waste as it bubbles with stuff that we are all capable of conjuring, but most are spared the amusement. During the last decade, this author has had a number of mind rushes come over the spillway and, in a fit of intellectual ineptitude, has decided to let it loose upon the unsuspecting public; thus, this collection of four entertainments designed to both edify and crack you up. From the author of No Irish Need Apply, The Jade Owl and Are You Still Submitting Your Work to a Traditional Publisher? comes - A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon And Other Ravings from the Blogosphere: to wit - - Extempore Thoughts for the Day - Ask Miss Chatty - New Leaves in the Wind: 5 Essays from a Recovering Webaholic A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon: a non-definitive guide to AuthorSpeak - an entertainment for readers to help them absorb the details of an author's craft. It's writing for readers, not writers. To wit - "A Pot-boiler: A formulaic book written for a surefire audience with the promise of a steady revenue stream. This does not mean that a potboiler is poorly written. It just means that their author depends on the income, knows where the paycheck is and writes it to reader's taste, in most cases severing the creative bond between art and commerce. The name derives from the poor starving artist who needs to pay the gas bill to keep the pot boiling. The expression usually applies to books, but the label can be applied to any art form that is driven by popular demand instead of creative integrity. It is possible to align the two. Usually, works of this nature are not enduring, because popular tastes change leaving whales beached." Extempore Thoughts for the Day: daily aphorisms, both deep and ethereal, affording the author a platform to spew out fortune cookie wisdom at the drop of the hat. Meant to make you ponder. Meant to make you laugh. To wit: "Books, like chapels or cathedrals, open their doors for reader meditation. Of course, authors still must pass the collection plate." "Variety is the breakfast of life. You waffle today; you pancake tomorrow." "The Roman Senate opposed dictators, but Caesar had his Gaul." "They say the world has seven wonders. I agree. They're called the days of the week." and 263 more Ask Miss Chatty: a unique advice column from the drag queen hostess of The Painted Lips Lounge. Need I say more? A laugh riot. New Leaves in the Wind: Five Essays from a Recovering Webaholic: a view of Corporate America and its romance with the World Wide Web, and how gazillions of $$$ have been wasted in the process. An insider's view. News at eleven To wit: "Mild mannered during the day, Business Dick works at implementing serious solutions in a database realm. He sits through hours of meetings, wanders through mountains of requirements and watches thousands of buckos spill over the black rim into the red. Alas, says Business Dick, there must be a better way to make the deadlines. Let me go to my local bookstore and buy a Book for Dummies. Soon, Business Dick transforms himself into Dick the Web Rogue." So, if you need to fire up those synapses for the brain and the Kindle, come jog in the jargon with me. Regret is not a four-letter word.

This is a GREAT gift book because: 1 - You can use its many jokes and puns to gently tease (or defend ) the people in your life who love to nap 2 - It is full of Napist wisdom - from Napfucius to N'Apseop's Fables to Napist Adages and Aphorisms - that YOUR favorite napper can and will use in his or her everyday life. 3 - You can find new napping styles in its Napa Sutra (and yes, you can have YOUR favorite napper's name credited to a style added to the next edition ) 4 - BRAGGING RIGHTS - You can have YOUR favorite napper's name listed (on the associated website / upcoming edition) under Olympic Napping Team, National Nap Council, N.A.R.P., etc. 5 - It is timeless: surely the gentle humor in this book will resurface repeatedly among your family and friends for years to come. (Naps are here to stay ).

Hans and Gertrud lived in their beautiful castle in the Bavarian mountains. They had freedom, servants and, best of all, animals. Then evil men came to power and they were forced to flee to England leaving all they had behind them. There they were kidnapped and taken to the strange neighbouring kingdom of Eng-a-land. The people couldn't speak properly, weighed with heavy weights and stones and even opened their windows the wrong way. They managed to escape and were taken in by a strange old women in black. Things looked like they were going badly until an unexpected person came to save them all. Fun, excitement, sadness, happiness for all children aged 7-11 and only very intelligent adults.

The second in the Fifteen Grades Trilogy, Fifteen Grades More: The Sex Tape is another novelette about love, lust and sheep World-famous weather-predicting sheep Derek the Weathersheep, and his girl Dolly, are in a rut. That's until the arrival of a handsome English cad, Tarquin. He inspires Dolly to spice up her sex life by making a bluey with Derek and their friend Brenda. But when Tarquin steals Derek and Dolly's sex tape and threatens to upload it to EweTube unless they meet his demands, the famous Welsh celebrity couple are in big trouble. Can Dolly save Derek's as-yet unblemished reputation as the world's leading and wooliest weather forecaster? An erotic sheep-based novelette from a leading author of erotic sheep-based fiction in Wales.

A collection of irreverent, tongue-in-cheek, side-splittingly funny Tudor history spoofs from the insane, but rather clever, Ann Nonny.

For the first time since the 16th century, we are able to share over 40 celebrated spoofs by Tudor literary genius (read mad woman) Ann Nonny. Her writing provides us with a unique insight into Tudor England, and the soap opera which was Henry VIII's life.

Nonny's work will no doubt find its way into the annals of English history and be enjoyed for many centuries to come.

Tales in this book include: 20 Things to Remember When Marrying Henry VIII The Second Boleyn Tart Bring Out Your Dead The Six Ex-Wives of Henry If Only There Had Been a Prenup ... and many more.

We would like to warn you not to drink coffee or any other beverage while reading this book.

This book is definitely not for children...

The critically acclaimed author of MANSFIELD PARK AND MUMMIES tackles a hilarious new parody topic -- supernatural relationship advice

Admit it, you've secretly dreamed of "dating" a sexy brooding vampire or an alpha werewolf...

But what about dating zombies, mummies, angels, fairies, demons, ghosts, occasional spotted aliens with tentacles, or other random metaphysical impossibilities?

Furthermore, what if those paranormal beings in turn dreamed of dating each other -- each one in search of their own supernatural soul mates?

The answer lies, as usual, in the planets, and the entire solar system of planetary harmonic alignment.

Take the supernatural compatibility test and discover your own soul planet.

Discover what planet rules which supernatural species, and which paranormal personality combinations offer the most compatibility to each other -- and to you.

And then, be matched with the supernatural soul mate of your wildest dreams

It's all in here

"Plus, as a special bonus, discover the Supernatural Matchmaker's greatest advice -- the Love Secret."

VAMPIRES ARE FROM VENUS, WEREWOLVES ARE FROM MARS:
"A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love"

Since 1999, millions of readers and web crawlers have read The Satirist online. At long last, the best pieces, including previously unpublished material, have been collected into this cherished and universally loved volume of satire. Learn how to start your own religious cult in the "Seven Habits of Highly Efficient Cult Leaders" Read how converting empty shopping malls into prisons can transform the US economy Are you a conspiracy theorist? Take the test Discover Claire Hoyt, "Shrink to the Stars," who gossiped openly about the secrets of her clients, Hollywood's leading celebrities Did the French philosopher, Claude Roger, plagiarize from his own students? Was Max Sazonov a great Russian poet or a total idiot? Read reviews of imaginary movies Read reviews of imaginary works by John Irving and Thomas Pynchon. And much more 58 articles in all "The more blandness and repression there is in any society, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that blandness and repression. The Satirist serves such a purpose with imagination and style." -Author/comedian Paul Krassner "An instant Borgesian classic "

A classic Christmas story with a slight Italian twist.

Between 1921 and 1999, Twentieth Century Spatchcock made over 20,000 films in their Hollinwood, Oldham studios. Most have been lost or destroyed - sometimes accidentally.

Painstaking research by Dr Derek J Ripley has pieced together the synopses and cast details of dozens of films discovered on market stalls, in attics and in skips all over the country, forcing us to re-appraise the contribution of Alfred Spatchcock and DW Blunt to Britain's cinema heritage.

"At last - the definitive appreciation of Spatchcock Anyone who has managed to get through "From Here To Maternity" or "Wendy Does Wigan" will want - and need - this book" Andy Kershaw

"If you only read one book about Spatchcock, make sure it's this one" Norman Barrie

"Spatchcock is up there with with Fellaini, Bertolli and Francis Ford Mondeo" Jonathan Rossendale

With an Introduction by Dr CP Lee.

Dr J Ripley's new book turns the spotlight on a film studio that has been long forgotten - some might say for good reason.

With detailed synopses and cast details for more than 60 Spatchcock films from Mr Lilo's Holiday to Paint Your Drag On and over 160 lavish black and white illustrations, this is a must for anyone with an interest in film.

A book for everyone who has looked at the vast expanse of Ole and Lena jokes and asked, "Is that it?" 'How to be: NORTH DAKOTA' offers regional history and culture through lessons and activities about becoming "North Dakotan." Local humor with universal appeal, it is the perfect gift for a native, a state rival, a new parent or any American looking to laugh and learn about a state that's more than "that place with the oil" or "the top Dakota." With drawings by Amy Jean Porter.

Whether you're a man or a woman this collection of over fifty anecdotes based on common things that women say to men every day, should raise a smile Originally an eBook format, it was soon created in paperback format due to demand thus is a short book of 64 pages, so don't expect a 300 page novel At least the short book format is ideal for a man's attention span The follow up, 'Life of Pie - Nag Pie' is now available and is by far a more chunky traditional book that takes the reader through the journey of life and the ages of nagging, as well as a look at the inadequacies of men in the final chapter, a Life of Bragging. A Woman can ask a question and she is really asking something different, men know this and they get frustrated and answer in a way that makes them appear guilty and before they know it they face the Spanish Inquisition with a barrage of questions or comments. Men get sucked into the game and complain of Nagging If you have had the pleasure or being served a slice or two of 'Nag Pie' in your life, deserved or not, then you will relate to this collection of over fifty overused cliches, questions or comments.

Fifty Shelves of Grey - The DIY guide to passion Christina is trying to use the jargon of home DIY to speak the language of love. Dave, totally oblivious, just thinks he's finally found someone as passionate about nailing, screwing and the importance of using the right lubricant when you're working away on someone's back door. Fifty Shades of Blokes is a series for us guys who just don't get all the fuss about this Fifty Shades malarkey. When handyman, Dave Woode, does some weekend work for young entrepreneur, Christina Grey, he encounters a woman who is beautiful, brilliant, and desperate to try out a 'bit of rough'. The unworldly, innocent Dave - like almost every man before him - has no idea what's going on, and believes Christina simply shares his passions for sports, DIY and gardening. The series follows the young couple as they embark on a passionate, double-entendre filled exploration of balls, power tools and spreading a bit of seed around. With every story written the way men would like it - incredibly short - the Fifty Shades of Blokes trilogy won't 'possess you' or 'obsess you', but it is quite obviously a parody that will leave you asking: How do men and women ever get together? How many men are really as simple as Dave? What does it say about our sex lives when 'the real books' sell a million copies a week? N.B. This series is intended for immature audiences.

Fifty Shades of Grass - Giving love a sporting chance. Christina is trying to use Dave's love of sport to get him into bed, but of course he has no clue and is just "stoked" he's found a girl who adores talking about bouncers, behinds, and superb ball handling as much as he does. Fifty Shades of Blokes is a series for us guys who just don't get all the fuss about this Fifty Shades malarkey. When handyman, Dave Woode, does some weekend work for young entrepreneur, Christina Grey, he encounters a woman who is beautiful, brilliant, and desperate to try out a 'bit of rough'. The unworldly, innocent Dave - like almost every man before him - has no idea what's going on, and believes Christina simply shares his passions for sports, DIY and gardening. The series follows the young couple as they embark on a passionate, double-entendre filled exploration of balls, power tools and spreading a bit of seed around. With every story written the way men would like it - incredibly short - the Fifty Shades of Blokes trilogy won't 'possess you' or 'obsess you', but it is quite obviously a parody that will leave you asking: How do men and women ever get together? How many men are really as simple as Dave? What does it say about our sex lives when 'the real books' sell a million copies a week? N.B. This series is intended for immature audiences.

Herein lies an early draft of Shakespeare's 'MacBeth' recently discovered behind the wall of a public lavatory in London. In this draft (called 'That Scottish Play'), MacBeth disappears during a fishing excursion on Loch Ness after encountering a certain local monster.

A poor look-alike tinker named Max is then duped into assuming the role of the true MacBeth and must carry off the deception in both King Duncan's court and at home as the husband to Lady MacBeth. While Max struggles to maintain his own identity, plotters and schemers manipulate him toward their own ends.

So begins the most talked about comedy of the year.

'A veritable witches' brew of hilarious pandemonium. Outrageously funny and provocative.'
-"The Wurstof Times"

'The author parodies The Bard with reverential irreverence using every form of farce and satire, humor and wit imaginable. Viciously delicious and sublimely ridiculous.'
-"The Mortem Post"

'A looking glass adventure into a Pythonesque land of lunacy and bedlam. Devastatingly absurd and wickedly witty.'
-"The Disassociated Press"

The visionary genius behind BetterBookTitles.com is here to help readersNmake that former readersNmaster literature without ever needing to struggle through one more tome again. Using Wilbur's techniques, anyone can fake his or her way through the classics or bestseller list.

A hilarious collection of humorous song parodies dedicated to notorious political figures which includes serious essays on song parody as social criticism, the Luddites, The Paris Commune, and The White Rose.