"Hilarious parody " "It had me tingling all over " "I dumped my husband after I read this book - thank you " "Black and Blue is the new Grey " "Ouch " In Part 2 of this hilarious bestselling parody, Annabelle Stilletto from Jersey City, New Jersey reunites with her dream guy, the rich and handsome Vinnie Griso, the heir to the Vinnie's Auto Parts empire. After a magical evening with Vinnie at Trump Taj Mahal, where she actually meets The Donald Trump, Annabelle learns the dark secrets of Vinnie's past and the reasons for his strange obsessions. While Annabelle is overjoyed to be back together with Vinnie, she is frightened by his dark past and the mysterious stranger who seems to be stalking her. When Vinnie invites her to his thirtieth birthday party at his mansion -- and sends her on a shopping spree to buy a beautiful outfit for the party -- she wonders if she and Vinnie are truly destined to be together. Or will she end up abandoned and "fifty shades of black and blue." Hilarious, erotic and nice, not-so-clean fun, Fifty Shades of Black and Blue is the bestselling parody everyone is talking about.

Ray Dennis does the secret, a simple law of attraction story is a humorous parody based on The Secret by Rhonda Byrne."Description"

When Ray Dennis, an alcoholic English bricklayer is deported from the US back to the UK on a drug charge, he has no idea that his life and identity are about to change forever. Shattered by his knowledge that he is a failure, Ray dedicates himself to self-improvement and unwittingly puts himself and his family on a path to disaster once he discovers The Secret.

With a change of name and new passport, Ray returns to LA. He meets a Guru who introduces him to the teachings of The Secret, and shows Ray how to plant thought seeds. And so begins his quest to completely change his life. His thoughts seeds create a wife, kids, a successful business, and a big house. But his success comes at a price as serious drug traffickers eventually kill his wife and children, and the police won't help when they find out he was in the country illegally.

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The spellbinding mock history of the Department of Agriculture's most secretive and vital agency
The little-known USDA Agency of Invasive Species -- founded by President and humble peanut farmer Jimmy Carter -- would like to reassure you that they rank among the most effective and cost-efficient offices within the sprawling federal bureaucracy. For decades, under Administrative Director Adam Humphrey and his "strategic disengagement" approach, the Agency has epitomized vigilance against the clear and present danger of noxious weeds. Humphrey's record of triumphant inertia faces only two obstacles. The first is reality; the second is the loud critic who dares to question the magic behind the Agency's success: Nicholas Bader. Formerly known as President Reagan's "bloody right hand," Bader is on an obsessive quest to trim the fat from the federal budget.
Full of oddball characters who shed light on the daily operations of Beltway minions, THE WEED AGENCY showcasesa world in which federal budgets balloon every year, where a career can be built upon the skill of rationalizing astronomical expenses, and where the word 'accountability' sends roars of laughter through DC office buildings. That's life inside the federal Agency of Invasive Species... and it may sound suspiciously similar to your reality.

So you want to sleep with an alien?

You're a brave (read stupid) soul, but if you could film your encounter and post it on your porno site and send us a link, we would be eternally busy ... I mean grateful. You'd be providing valuable sights ... insights that is, to science. And hey, you'll be out enjoying the night life and zipping around in a saucer (unless the aliens can't land because they're busy servicing your needs).

Aliens have been sleeping with mankind throughout history.

If you don't believe me, watch the History Channel. However, just because Cleopatra got the clap from some alien dude, doesn't mean you shouldn't reap the rewards of the aliens' many millennia spent studying and satisfying the human race.

But which aliens are the best in bed (or in the woods, or in the saucer, or well, you know...)?

Everyone knows the Gray aliens are masters with power tools, but how are the Nordics in the sack?

What should you never do if you're bent over for Bigfoot?

How do you attract a Mothman, and what do you do if more than one of them arrives looking to hook up with you?

These are some of the most important questions in all of history. Well, in all of today. Well, in all of the time you've spent reading this description.

So if you want to hook up with some horny alien pervs, click the buy button and read about how to turn on an Andromedan.

Don't miss out on your chance to make your missing time into the best times of your life.

There are three small words to one simple truth: Parody is popular. It's so popular in contemporary society that you don't even have to go to a comedy club or find an off-Broadway stage to enjoy this unique type of humor. Just flick on your television or click, toggle, and swipe away at your laptop, tablet, or other digital must-have device. Parody is everywhere...because it has to be. We need it. In itself, parody is one of the most comforting forms of humor out there. It takes an event, topic, or medium to which the common, everyday person already has a strong emotional response and then reshapes it in a way that stirs an entirely different emotion. Parody helps us make sense of the absurd, brings fun to the mundane, and allows us to laugh when we might otherwise want to cry or throw our hands up in the air in defeat. It lifts us up when we are down and gives a new spin to things that frustrate us, offend our beliefs, or leave us wondering what could possibly come next. In other words, parody helps us digest what is going on in the world around us. And to that end, Fred Landau offers a unique blend of humor, music, and current events that will please your palate and leave you begging for another round. 21st Century Oldies is a compilation of parodies of twenty-first-century current events delivered in the form of new lyrics to classic pop songs. Mostly from the 1960s and '70s but going even a little further back, the songs are familiar ditties that we all know and love, and you'll love them in a new way when you see what Landau has done with them. A graduate of Harvard Law School with a master's degree from NYU School of Law, Landau combines his extensive background in musical theater with his clever wit and creative mind to deliver verses and lines that are not only playful but also inspirational. Landau's lyrics are fun, sarcastic, even silly at times, and they'll definitely stick in your head-and, maybe once they're stuck there, you'll be able to more easily appreciate their deeper meaning. Behind their entertainment value, the songs ultimately sing to triumph over adversity, which is a silver lining we all hope to find these days. The first volume in a forthcoming comprehensive set, 21st Century Oldies, Volume 1 includes parodies of topics and tunes starting with the letters A and B. Future volumes will go on to cover subjects and songs from the remainder of the alphabet, to culminate in what will prove to be nothing less than an encyclopedia of laughter, smiles, and very good times. To the memorable music of tried and true artists such as the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Whitney Houston, and Barbara Streisand, topics parodied in this volume include American Idol meltdowns, Mark Sanford's Argentina saga, the AIG bailout mess, Bette Midler's always-dramatic professional life, and, of course, Barack Obama. Turn on your radio-or whatever it is you use to play music these days-and start reading this book. In no time, you'll be singing along, laughing, and feeling a whole lot better about life.

This book is for the Comic on the go learning how becoming automatic; this automatically cannot contrive or set into motion by coercion here we are use metaphoric pressure. It cannot be a compulsion but rather Mental Construction of Metaphoric Pressure in the dreaming state. How does this construction dreaming work in real life metaphors in a society that has no time for reading one metaphor pondered at a time. Comics reading metaphors inspire them if Volume has margins wide enough for scribbling notes from different thinking none forced there will be results the question remains can we attest too, playing our self on stage, same as writing this Volume from this metaphoric pressure above answers question about mysteries digging out Ciphers? We understand what this book is about taking out nonsense. We do one thing at a time. We come into this world by order of Angels. Immanuel Divine Poet building components power direct Supreme Intelligence using Seven Performance Stupa warns consummate conclusion binary converse intended interpretation time happens at the same time in the Unconscious Mind....

What do you do while you are waiting at a red light? This collection of half-mindful, half-mindless mental meanderings by Radio Hall of Fame broadcaster and award winning journalist Ed Baxter will have you smiling and nodding in agreement, beginning on page one. Ed looks at the world around us and his descriptions of that world make us smile

It's been a year since their last outing. Brian, Ethel and Father Frederick are back with more village idiocy. Frederick has injured his nipples in a vicious moped accident whilst on his honeymoon and no longer feels like a man. He's taken up the drink again and is making people's lives a misery with his antics again. He can't work out why strange men keep following him while he's out drink-driving, though. Brian's concentrating on getting through married life while trying to find a hobby that doesn't hurt. His cousin Jeff (from The Office Idiot Reviews) has moved in for the summer and is on hand to help Brian with his assertiveness when he is bullied by the local biker, Jock. Ethel has discovered that it was Denny who made her shopping trolley explode last year and with Denny now an adult and living outside the safety of the children's home, it won't be long before she exacts the revenge she's been after. Meanwhile a battle for power is taking place at the manor house. Lord Monty, who ordered his title from the Internet, is in a battle of wills with his gamekeeper, Chopper. It's a never ending struggle which, time after time, leaves Monty either out of pocket, in pain or soaking wet. Written entirely in the form of product reviews, we guarantee you've never read a book quite like this before. (Unless you read the first one.) Hilarious and wholly original, More Village Idiot Reviews introduces the most bonkers set of countryside dwellers you've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

2014 Reprint of 1937 Edition. Full facsimile of the original edition, not reproduced with Optical Recognition Software. "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" is a bare-faced satire on the worldwide bestseller book, Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It is also a self-help book, but it tackles the issue from the other side. Irving always considered that Dale Carnegie was all wrong when he encouraged people to smile and be optimistic. His philosophy is totally different. For Irving, great life achievements can be made by those who live negatively. In this book you will find advice on how to lose friends and make people hate you so that you will be more productive and successful in your life. It is the only book that has ever been written to help people dissolve their human relationships in favor of having a better life According to Irving, some of us are born with ability to make others peeved, but most of us aren't. Originally published in 1937, "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" is a tongue-in-cheek primer by Irving Tressler on how to achieve more free time and peace by having few, if any, friends and acquaintances. "Some of us are born with ability to make others peeved, but most of us aren't. We flounder about making empty, vapid, pleasing remarks and before we know it we have another 'friend' and have invited him to lunch some day."

In an age of adventure, the Scottish Mexican pirate Captain Duncan MacSanchez and his brave, but quirky, crew embark on a quest for the Blaze of Glory. It would be easier to find if they actually knew what it was. What if real wizards and warriors played role playing games? What would they pretend to be? In our modern world of social media and texting, what kind of powers would superheroes need to preserve civilization? This is a collection of humorous short stories that takes a lighter look at mighty heroes and their adventures.

The definitive comedy-writing handbook from one of the genre's most celebrated writers, this easy-to-follow guide lays out a clear system for creating humor that gets big, milk-coming-out-of-your-nose laughs, reliably and repeatably. You'll learn... the three sure-fire ways to generate material the 11 kinds of jokes and how to tell them the secret to permanently overcoming writer's block and many more tips, tricks and techniques

Eve's Diary, by Mark Twain, is a beautiful book with pictures of Eve exploring the delights of Eden on every other page, with the text on the adjacent page. The book is written in Eve's voice and gives her description of the events in Eden and her relationship with Adam, as if she wrote a diary. Shelley Fisher Fishkin, a Twain scholar at Stanford University, said the book was "infused with his appreciation for the women he was close to." This is perhaps because Twain wrote it shortly after his wife, Olivia, died. This book comes fully illustrated with over fifty delightful illustrations.

"Monster Laughs"

From the Secret Files of the Mystery Hunter

Funny fiction from the Author of "Seasons Without Reason," "Exit Strategies," "Channel Surfing," "How to Write "Comedy" Jokes," and more: Dean Burkey.

Fear not, laugh a lot, as Paranormal Investigator Eddie Hunter, a.k.a. the Mystery Hunter, matches wits with Count Dracula, the Werewolf, Frankenstein's Monster, and many other madcap menaces, classic and new, from around the world and beyond.

"Monster Laughs" spoofs monsters and more. Each hilarious chapter of this epic comedy novel stands on its own, while a story weaves its way throughout. No matter how dangerous the situation, the Mystery Hunter keeps his sense of humor, somehow survives, and finds time to enjoy waffles, pie, and bowling. Only he could save the world with bubble gum and burritos.

In an Odyssey of Oddities, comedian Dean Burkey tackles the Invisible Man, Space Aliens, and other infamous frights. Further scary topics include romantic misunderstandings, macho insecurities, & diminishing dignity.

Edward T. Hunter, Paranormal Investigator: "In my line of work, nothing's more embarrassing than when the monster laughs."

Table of Contents

"Count Dracula Sinks His Teeth into the Big Apple"

To stop the villainous vampire, the Mystery Hunter puts his neck on the line

"The Howling Werewolf's Hairy End"

Bring Your Pet to Work Day has never been so deadly Or so itchy.

"Frankenstein's Monster Bolts Loose"

Big and green, mighty and mean, the most menacing monster the Hunter's ever seen. (So far.)

"Doctor Jekyll and Ms. Hyde"

Double the pleasure; double the danger And with the Hunter involved, double the laughs and mishaps And double the indignities and insecurities

"Unraveling the Mystery of the Mummy"

The Mystery Hunter faces more horrors than he's ever imagined. Is the Mummy out for revenge? Or just running a pyramid scheme?

"Skinny Dipping with the Creature from the Blue Lagoon"

Cannibals, pirates, and sharks, oh my Also, lost treasure, a whale, a gorilla, a navy seal, and a couple grabby blue crabs. And let's not forget the web-footed horror of the amphibious Creature Does the Creature want to kill the Hunter? Or are his desires a fate worse than death? What else would you expect during mating season at the Blue Lagoon?

"The Swinging Tale of the Blue Moon Monkey Man"

The Mystery Hunter encounters a new menace. Before he gets himself killed over a blue banana, the Hunter better solve this case and split

"Illegal Aliens from Outer Space"

(This Is My Favorite Chapter )

Worlds turn against the Mystery Hunter, including his own The galaxy cries out: "Bring me the Hunter "

"Being Seen with the Invisible Man (Or Not )"

Although he prides himself on always being prepared, the Mystery Hunter never saw this one coming

"Challenging the Unchallengeable Charlie Change-O"

The Final Chapter

Home from a whirlwind, worldwide tour of mystery-hunting, Eddie faces his fiercest foe and solves a mystery he wishes he'd never solved.

"Return of the Blue Moon Monkey Man (And Another Crazy)"

The Final, Final Chapter

A fiendish foe returns. So does another crazy. And the Hunter makes a monstrously horrifying realization about himself.

Snippets

The Hunter's second rule: Dress better than the monsters.

They saw my ad in Field & Scream.

But just when all hope seemed lost, what I thought could never happen, happened. My situation worsened.

My fake ID listed my height as two inches taller, so I had to prowl around the hotel on tiptoes to avoid suspicion.

Before you buy this book, take a Look Inside

Inspired lunacy Zany, quirky, funny, fun. For older teens and adults.

So scroll up now; and click the Bu

Fleeting mechanisms that image thought placement in a novel form of any Comedy Material must have the radiation called the animatical force that is the seducer and carnal from the anim get in where it fits in All the time that it is going through its gyrations, it sends forth an animatical force] Understand we are after the abstract of our own nature after divine, superior and inferior personalities in America. This is the scale of awareness. The name Lil Webe means running from demons. Healing using global repetitious unparalleled parodies offset ideas peaking, extemporaneously, one cannot pin point where one may be at in any given moment dialoguing pantomiming dancing at same time. Lil Webe imaging going in and out of thought placements for the comedic novel can overload readers. Two great masters, discussing dancing of Paula Kelly, ..". the interval between Gaps performers enter fold time, space into dimensions called ESP but it is not ESP. Rather thought patterns mathematically carrying memories frequencies on strings ..."

A PARODY OF THE BELOVED FANTASY DOORSTOP... ER, SAGA

In the land of the Eight (or was it Six?) Kingdoms--where the seasons last as long as a series of bestselling Tolkien-esque novels--trouble is brewing. The mud is growing muddier, the onions are rotting, the Wall to the North (or is it the South?) is melting, and Lord Barker of Summerseve is getting worried. His wife is addicted to Godsweede, his King is too fat to fit into his armor, and the foreshadowing is out of control. All in all, not the position you want to be in when Summer is coming.

From this world of outdoor fornication with horse-people (and indoor fornication with blood relatives) comes an epic story of novella proportions. Amid plots and counterplots, power-hungry warriors and overworked ravens, poor reception and no wireless, the future of the Barkers, their BFFs, and their enemies dangles in the balance, as each strives to survive long enough to appear in at least two of the sequels.

"His teeth might be wooden, but his prose is not."

---J.R.R. Madison

George R. R. Washington cannot tell a lie: "A Game of Groans" was not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity involved in creating or producing any of the Song of Ice and Fire books or the "Games of Throne" television program. Please direct any inquiries to our legal counsel, Clarence R. R. Darrow.

Completely inappropriate humor coupled with dark poetry and flash fiction. It's more fun than you can shake a dead kitten at.

This book contains some traditional lullabies and a few modern variants. These are written for those parents that are tired of singing only the traditional songs and lullabies to their children. The titles are laid out with the traditional lullabies followed by the modern variants, in order to have the rhythm established.

Do you want to be rich? Really rich? Like, Tom Selleck rich? Buy this book and we guarantee a lifetime of obscene wealth---or your money back *
The Florida Panhandle's most renowned top-gun entrepreneurs, The Dollar Bills, will teach you all the tricks of the trade to get rich fast and look great doing it:
--Learn "The 5 Cs of Credit" (Cancun, Convertibles, Cognac, Chinchilla Coats, Cuticles)
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--Get to know Freddie Mac, and learn why he should be respected (he was the hard-hitting, two-time Pro Bowl safety for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers during the mid-'80s)
"Loaded : Become a Millionaire Overnight and Lose 20 Pounds in 2 Weeks, or Your Money Back" shares all these hot tips, and many, many more--from the investing pair with the Midas touch Turn your life---and your bathroom fixtures---to 24-karat gold with The Dollar Bills

*We're never giving you your money back.

Anesthesia Peel meets Crispin BenGay, a filthy rich and incredibly hunkalicious entrepreneur, during an interview for her beauty-school newspaper. BenGay is mysteriously attracted to Ana, a social zero who's never even used email. He makes her his submissive, to have, to hold and to hurt. "Fifty Shades of BenGay" puts a whole new spin on the bestselling romance novel with a soft-porn filling. That ridiculous contract: "Hard limits: No acts involving clowns or mimes...".Laughable lovemaking: "His mouth finds mine, which isn't hard, considering how big my mouth is...".Ana's multiple personalities: "My inner goddess is picking her nose...".Those ludicrous emails. "Crispin: About our 'deal': thanks, but no thanks. P.S. Can I keep the laptop?" This book is intended for immature adults. It contains explicit scenes of a physically impossible nature.

In this retelling of Lewis Carroll's classic tale, Alice's fall down the rabbit hole turns into a terrifying descent through the centre of the Earth, hopelessly snarling her hair into a tangles mess, and nearly setting it alight.

STARVE CURSE HATE (Cynthia St Clair's Search for What-ever ) is a spoof of EAT PRAY LOVE. In this oddly inspirational book the main character Cynthia, a rich beautiful divorcee who is looking for inner peace, love and happiness, decides to follow in author Elizabeth Gilbert's footsteps and travel to Italy, India and Indonesia. While on her journey, when one thing after another goes wrong, wrong, wrong, Cynthia begins to ask, "Whoa God, how come you answered all of Elizabeth's prayers but you haven't answered any of mine?" Then suddenly she realizes: perhaps HE has